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Reach Jokes

119 reach jokes and hilarious reach puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about reach that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Laugh out loud with the funniest reach jokes! From jokes about arriving fashionably late to jokes about touching and overtaking, these clever jokes will have you in stitches. Read on to see our collection of the best reach jokes!

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Funniest Reach Short Jokes

Short reach jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The reach humour may include short peak jokes also.

  1. A German was going to a trip in France... He reached passport control and the officer asked:
    "Name?"
    "Hans Kleiner"
    "Age?"
    "31"
    "Occupation?"
    "No no, just visiting"
  2. George R R Martin, dead after reaching peak popularity Just like one of his characters.
    (If this trash of a post hit the front page, the title could really mess with some GoT fans, I'm just saying)
  3. Brexit's Worst-Case Scenario: Brexit to be followed by Grexit. Departugal. Italeave. Fruckoff. Czechout. Oustria. Finish. Slovlong. Latervia. Byegium.. until EU reach the state of Germlonely.
  4. North Korea now has a missle that can reach New York City, and I think that's really scary. If it can make it there, it can make it anywhere.
  5. A verdict has been reached in the Jussie Smollett trial. I hope he doesn't beat himself up over this, again.
  6. I bet my butcher $1,000 that he couldn't reach the beef on the top shelf without a ladder. He said the steaks were too high.
  7. I bet my butcher $50 that he couldn't reach the meat on the top shelf. He said "No, the steaks are too high".
  8. Top Biblical experts have reached the conclusion that Adam and Eve were Soviet citizens They had no clothes, one apple between the two of them and they thought they were in paradise.
  9. Two men are discussing how they'll reach a lightbulb that needs to be changed. Man 1: would you like the ladder or the step stool?
    Man 2: I prefer the ladder.
    Man 1: ok, step stool it is.
  10. fasting isn't expected of Muslims until they reach puberty. This means that absolutely all Muslim children... ...grow up to fast

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Reach One Liners

Which reach one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with reach? I can suggest the ones about scope and arrival.

  1. Once, chuck norris reached a point of no return…. …..and returned.
  2. Why should you always post jokes in American English? They can reach a wider audience.
  3. You gotta hand it to short people because they can't reach it
  4. You've got to hand it to midgets Because they cant reach it themselves
  5. What do you call a girl who's preventing you from reaching your goal? A keeper
  6. I really have to hand it to short people Because they usually can't reach it anyways.
  7. How long does it take to reach the ground from 110 stories up? The rest of your life.
  8. When women reach a certain age they start accumulating cats This is known as many paws
  9. Why did the winter solstice bring a ladder to the party? To "reach" new heights of fun.
  10. You gotta hand it to the short people out there They can't reach it by themselves
  11. George R. R. Martin found dead after reaching peak popularity. Just like his characters.
  12. You've got to hand it to short people... They can't reach.
  13. Honestly you gotta hand it to short people No seriously they cant reach it themselves
  14. What did Cinderella say when she reached the ball? Nothing, she just made gagging noises
  15. Escalator Literature. a step by step guide to reaching new levels

Reach Around Jokes

Here is a list of funny reach around jokes and even better reach around puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • What's the speed limit in bed? It's 68. Once you reach 69 you gotta turn around.
  • How many sopranos does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Six - one to try and reach the socket, and the other five to stand around saying that its too high for her.
  • British scientists have created a new high-tech material that reaches peak performance around 5pm They called it Tea-timeium.
  • What's the best part of having s**... with a t**...? Reaching around and imaging you are poking through
    Old guy at work told me that hahaha
  • What is the best thing about having s**... with a transgender? Reaching around and pretending it went all the way through.
  • What's the difference between an IRS audit and prison r**...? In prison, you have a chance at getting a reach around
  • Whats the best part of having s**... with a transgender? When you are hitting it from the back and go for the reach around, it feels like it went all the way through
  • whats the best part of having s**... with a t**...? When you reach around it feels like you went all the way through.
  • My American Indian friend was with his sister in the back seat of my car We sat idle for awhile and then he said, "can you turn on the i**..."... shocked, i reached around and rubbed his sisters thigh
  • Had s**... with a t**...... Got scared when I did the reach around and thought I went through her

Reach Speeds Jokes

Here is a list of funny reach speeds jokes and even better reach speeds puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Usain Bolt can reach speeds up to 30 miles per hour. So in certain suburban neighborhoods, he might get arrested. For being black.
  • Swordfish & mako shark specials tonight... Swordfish & mako shark specials tonight. Lady asked which would be faster. I said the swordfish can reach speeds up to 60mph, shark 42mph...
  • Whats the best way to reach your m**... dealer? Speed dial
  • What is the hardest speed for h**... to reach? 9 kmph.
Reach joke, What is the hardest speed for h**... to reach?

Reach joke, What is the hardest speed for h**... to reach?

Make fun with this list of one liners, jokes and riddles. Each joke is crafted with thought and creativity, delivering punchlines that are unexpected and witty. The humor about reach can easily lighten the mood and bring smiles to people's faces. This compilation of reach puns is not just entertaining but also a testament to the art of joke-telling. The jokes in this list are designed to display different humor styles, ensuring that every reader at any age finds something entertaining. Constantly updated, they offer a source of fun that ensures one is always smiling !

Heartwarming Reach Jokes that Make You Laugh

What funny jokes about reach you can tell and make people laugh? One example I can give are clean achieve jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help make reach prank.

Gambler

A guy walks into a butcher's shop and says "Sir, are you a gambling man?"
The butcher says "Why yes, as a matter of fact I am."
"Then I'll bet you $25 you can't reach up and touch that meat hanging over your head right there."
The butcher thinks for a moment and says "I'm sorry, I won't take that bet."
The guy says "But I thought you said you were a gambling man."
"I am. But the steaks are too high."

I haven't worked out since...

I haven't worked out since that one time I tried to reach for a bag of chips at the foot of the bed and did a sit-up by mistake.
That wasn't the joke. The joke is my life.

Three old women are sitting on a park bench.

Three old women are sitting on a park bench when suddenly a man comes by and exposes himself to them. The first one had a s**..., as did the second, but the third one couldn't reach.

Little Jewish boy that can't understand math

Two Jewish parents are very concerned that their little boy is failing at mathematics. They exhaust every method of tutoring and schooling, until they reach their last resort.... Catholic School.
The very next day little Elisha comes home from school, runs to his room, and began studying. To the parents astonishment when his reportcard arrives he has an A in math!!
They asked Elisha what the difference was and he replied," When I saw what they did to the poor guy on the plus sign I knew they were serious!!"

3 Old Women and a f**...

Three old women are sitting on a park bench when a man
comes by and flashes them.
Two of them have a s**..., and the third one couldn't
reach.

Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill?

To reach the bottom.
As told by my 5 y/o cousin.

Three old ladies

Three old ladies are sitting on a park bench when a f**... runs up and opens his trench coat in front of them.
The first old lady has a s**....
The second old lady has a s**....
The third old lady can't reach that far.

So the Pope joined twitter so he can "Reach out to a younger generation."

He is certainly not the first Catholic to have done that.

So three old ladies are sitting on a park bench....

When all of the sudden a f**... comes by and, before they can reach for their canes, opens his trench coat and flashes them. The first old lady has a s**..., the second old lady has a s**..., but the third old lady couldn't reach that far.

How will we truly reach gender equality?

By leaving the toilet seat at a 45 degree angle for the next person to decide without bias.

Three old ladies are sitting on a bench in the park...

When a wild f**... appears and opens up his trench coat to reveal his nakedness, the first old last has a s**..., the second old lady has a s**..., the third old lady couldn't reach.

As I went to reach for the largest cucumber....

As I went to reach for the largest cucumber in the supermarket a woman also went to grab it.
"Oh yeah, I bet I know why you want the biggest one," I winked.
"You've got me," she giggled, "do you fancy coming back to mine and watching?"
"No thanks," I replied, "I've got better things to do with my time than stand watching a woman make sandwiches."

Three old women were sitting on a park bench...

...all of a sudden, a man ran in front of them wearing a long overcoat. He opened up his coat, and he was wearing nothing underneath. The first woman had a s**.... The second woman had a s**.... The third one couldn't reach.

Legs in the Air

Little Johnny came home from school to see the family's pet rooster dead in the front yard. Rigor Mortis had set in and it was flat on its back with its legs in the air. When his Dad came home Johnny said, "Dad our rooster is dead and his legs are sticking in the air. Why are his legs sticking in the air?"
His father thinking quickly said, "Son, that's so God can reach down from the clouds and lift the rooster straight up to heaven."
"Gee Dad that's great," said Little Johnny. A few days later, when Dad came home from work, Johnny rushed out to meet him yelling, "Dad, Dad we almost lost Mom today!"
"What do you mean?" said Dad.
"Well Dad, I got home from school early today and went up to your bedroom and there was Mom flat on her back with her legs in the air screaming,"Jesus I'm coming, I'm coming" If it hadn't of been for Uncle George holding her down we'd have lost her for sure!"

A man walks into a butchers...

The man says to the butcher "Are you a gambling man?" The butcher replies "Yes, you could say that." The man says "Okay then, I bet you $100 you can't reach that meat you've got hanging from the ceiling up there." The Butcher looks up and says "No sorry" The man says "I thought you said you were a gambling man, why not?" The butcher answers. "The steaks are too high."

A Japanese businessman hails a taxi...

As they go along the highway, a car zooms past by.
"Oooh," exclaims the businessman, "that's a Toyota. Made in Japan, very fast!"
Moments later, another car speeds ahead.
"Ahhhhh," exclaims the businessman again, "a Nissan! Made in Japan too, also very fast!"
Then once more, another car rushes ahead.
"Oooooh," exclaims the businessman, "a Mitsubishi! Made in Japan and very fast again!"
Then they reach their destination.
"Why bill so big?!" complained the Japanese.
"Meter's made in Japan," replied the driver. "Very fast!"

Two nuns

Two nuns are sitting on a bench. A guy in a trench coat comes up and flashes them. One of the nuns has a s**.... The other couldn't quite reach.

Three Little Old Ladies

Three little old ladies were at the bus stop in front of their church when a young man ran up to them and exposed himself. The oldest one had a s**.... The other two couldn't reach.

Ol' Russian joke

Comrade Stalin approaches a farmer and asks :
"Comrade, how many potatoes have we grown this season?"
"Enough to reach God, comrade!" Replied the farmer.
"But there is no God" said Stalin
"Ah, said the farmer, as there are no potatoes."

The Soviet chairman asks a high ranking party member about potato supplies

Chairman: How does our potato supply look?
Party member: We have so many potatoes that, if they were piled one on top of another, they could reach God.
Chairman: But God does not exist.
Party member: Neither do the potatoes.

How many Tenors does it take to screw in a Lightbulb?

Trick Question. They only think they can reach that high.

Two old nuns are sitting on a park bench.

A man runs up to them in a trench coat, opens it wide and flashes them. One of the nuns immediately had a s**.... The other couldn't quite reach.

How do you get 4 old ladies to yell "s**...!"?

Get a 5th old lady to yell "Bingo!"

Three little old ladies are sitting at a bus stop...

...when suddenly a man in a trench coat runs up to them and tears open the coat, flashing them his manly parts.
Two of the little old ladies immediately have a s**....
The third couldn't quite reach.

Three nuns are sitting on a bench when

a f**... revealed himself to them. The first nun had a s**..., the second nun had a s**..., and the third nun couldn't reach.

Three old ladies are sitting on a park bench...

A man wearing a long raincoat approaches, opens it and flashes them.
Two of the ladies immediately have a s**.... The third couldn't reach.

Welcome back to /u/JokeExplainBot

I banned on a rule that we had enforced in the past. However, we talked the issue over and were able to reach common ground. Sorry for any trouble this caused.
/u/ElderCunningham

Three old ladies are sitting on a park bench when a man in a long coat walks up to them and exposes himself...

The first old lady says, "My goodness!" and immediately has a s**.... The second lady, seeing the first lady, also has a s**.... The third lady couldn't reach.

Gotta hand it to babies...

...because their short, s**... little arms can't reach anything

At university, students had to come up with a sentence in which the words "love" and "s**..." both appeared

A female student's composition:
'When two people deeply and passionately love each other, and both reach a high level of mutual respect, then society morally and spiritually encourages that these two people should unite in the ecstasy of physical s**....'
A male student's composition:
'I love s**....'

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are all on their way to heaven

One day, a blonde, brunette, and a redhead were on their way to heaven.
God told them that there were 1,000 stairs to reach heaven, and on every stair he would tell them a joke. If they laughed, or even just smiled, they would not make it into heaven.
The redhead managed to make it to the 45th step before laughing.
The brunette reached 200 and cracked a smile.
The blonde made it all the way to the 999th step and burst out in laughter before God had even told his joke.
"Why are you laughing when I haven't even told my joke yet?" God asked the Blonde.
"I just got the first one!" she answered.

I s**... telling jokes..

Because I start laughing even before I reach the punchline. The doctor says I have a p**... hehejaculation.

Doctor: "I have some bad news, and some very bad news"

Patient:"Well, might as well give me the bad news first."
Doctor:"The lab called and told me you only have 24 hours to live."
Patient:"24 hours!? That's terrible! What could be worse than that?"
Doctor:"Your phone has been off, and I've been trying to reach you since yesterday..."
[Edited to clarify punchline...I guess. xP]

Three old ladies were sitting on a park bench when a man jumped out of the bushes and flashed them.

The first lady had a s**..., the second lady had a s**..., but the third lady's arm was too short to reach.

The policeman asked me why I keep beating my wife...

I told him I have a longer reach and superior footwork.

In order to finish my 2016 resolution, i cut off my left leg...

That way, I'll reach my goal of losing 20 pounds AND start 2017 off on the right foot!

Two old ladies were sitting on a bench...

Two old ladies were sitting on a bench having a quiet chat, when a f**... approached from across the park. He stood right in front of them and opened his trench coat, exposing himself.
One of the ladies immediately had a s**....
The other lady, being older and more feeble, couldn't reach that far.

3 nuns are sitting on a bench.

A man in a trench coat walks by and flashes them. 2 of the nuns had a s**.... The third couldn't reach.

There were two old ladies sitting on a park bench

when a f**... came by. The f**... stood right in front of them and opened his trench coat.
The first old lady had a s**...,
but the second old lady couldn't reach it.

I am hosting a charity event for people who fail to reach c**... during s**...

If you can't come, let me know

A farm worker greets Joseph Stalin at his potato farm

Comrade Stalin, we have so many potatoes that, piled one on top of the other, they would reach all the way to God, the farmer excitedly tells his leader.
But God does not exist, replies Stalin.
Exactly, says the farmer. Neither do the potatoes.

Three old ladies

Three old ladies were sitting on a bench seat when a f**... ran up & Flashed them.
The first old lady had a s**.....
The second old lady had a s**... too...
The third old lady couldn't reach.....

3 little old nuns are sitting on a park bench when a f**... flashes them

the first nun has a s**...,
the second nun has a s**...,
the third nun couldn't reach

Three Old Ladies Sitting on a park bench.

Three old ladies are sitting in the park. Just chatting it up on a park bench like old ladies will do.
Suddenly, a man in a trench coat walks up to them and opens his coat and flashes them with all that god had given him to offer.
Well, the first old lady immediately has a s**....
The second old lady has a s**... soon after.
The third old lady, being more old and feeble, couldn't reach that far.

Two nuns are sitting on a park bench...

Suddenly, a streaker runs past them! One of the nuns had a s**...! The other tried but she couldn't reach.

I'm reaching out on behalf of a friend of mine who needs some help!

His wife told him to go out and get some of those pills that would help him get an e**....
When he came back he handed her some diet pills.
Anyway, he's looking for a place to live. Can you help him?

A priest notices a little boy down the street

Trying to press a doorbell on a house across the street. However, the boy is very small and the doorbell is too high for him to reach. After watching the boy's efforts for some time, the priest moves closer to the boy's position. He steps smartly across the street, walks up behind the little fellow and, placing his hand kindly on the child's shoulder leans over and gives the doorbell a solid ring. Crouching down to the child's level, the priest smiles benevolently and asks, "And now what, my little man?"
To which the boy replies, "Now we run!"

Three old ladies are sitting on a bench...

... when a man came up and flashed them. Two of the ladies immediately had a s**..., but the other couldn't quite reach.

A man in a trench coat aproaches 3 elderly women on a park bench. He flashes the women.

The first lady had a s**...
The second one also had a s**...
The third lady couldn't reach

There are 3 old ladies sitting on a park bench..

A man in a trench-coat walks by and flashes them.
2 of the old ladies have a s**....
The other one couldn't reach that far.

Two old ladies were sitting on a park bench.

All of a sudden, a man jumps out of the nearby bushes and flashes them.
One old lady had a s**..., the other couldn't reach.

Air Force One gets caught in a storm in the midwest

And crashes. Because most of the roads are out, it takes emergency responders a long time to reach the wreck. When they get there, they see a farmer.
"Did you see the plane c**...?" asked the EMTs.
"Ayup. Sure did. Buried them all too," answered the farmer.
"None of them survived?"
"Well, the president said he did, but you know what a liar he is."

How do you make your wife scream after s**...?

Wipe your d**... on the curtain.

Three old ladies are sitting on a bench

A f**... runs up and opens his coat.
The first woman immediately had a s**....
The second had one only a moment later.
The third didn't because she couldn't reach.

One of my favorite Reagan jokes:

A Soviet Diplomat goes to one of the farms in Russia, and approaches the farmer.
How are the carrots doing? Said the Diplomat.
Oh, the carrots are as big and orange as ever! Replies the farmer.
I see, and how are the beets?
Oh, sir, if Gorbachev saw these beets, he would cry with joy!
And what about the potatoes?
Sir, if we stacked the potatoes, they would be high enough to reach God!
The diplomat stares for a minute. But comrade, we don't believe in god.
Oh, good. Says the farmer. Because there are no potatoes.

Three little old ladies were on a bench when a n**... man walked by

The first little old lady... Had a s**...
The second little old lady... Had a s**...
But the third little old lady's arms weren't long enough to reach.

An off duty soldier took a train.

When the train reach its first stop, a general walk in, and the soldier stood up, the general said. 'At ease soldier, sit down.'
The train reached its second stop, again the soldier stood up, the general once again said. 'At ease soldier, sit down.
When the train reach its third stop, again the soldier stood up, the general said.' You don't have to salute every time we reach a stop.' The soldier reply.
' I want to get off, I missed my stop 2 stations ago.'

3 old ladies

3 old ladies were sitting on a park bench. A f**... comes over and rips open his raincoat. The first old lady had a s**.... The second old lady had a s**.... The third old lady couldn't reach it.

The amount of bad Covid-19 jokes being circulated is starting to reach alarming numbers...

Some scientists suspect that it might be a pundemic.

A mathematician And an engineer decided to take part in an experiment.

They were both put in a room and at the other end was a n**... woman on a bed. The experimenter said that every 30 seconds they could travel half the distance between themselves and the woman. The mathematician stormed off, calling it pointless. The engineer was still in. The mathematician said Don't you see? You'll never get close enough to actually reach her. The engineer replied, So? I'll be close enough for all practical purposes.

i came up with this one and i think its a little silly. what do you call it when a missile fails to reach it's destination?

projectile dysfunction

Does anyone know where I can get a longer d**... from?

Mine doesn't reach the oil anymore..

4 Monks are being chased by a Hungry Lion!

4 Monks are being chased by a Hungry Lion. As they run, they cry out to God yelling, "PLEASE LORD! CONVERT THIS LION TO BE A CHRISTIAN LION!"
They run until they reach a dead end.
They hungry lion approaches slowly, as they cry out louder:
"PLEASE LORD HEAR OUR PRAYERS AND CONVERT HIM!"
They lion stops walking, and the monks praise God.
The lion kneels down, puts his paws together and says:
"Bless us, O Lord, and these, thy gifts, which we are about to receive through thy bounty, through Christ, our Lord, Amen."

Wife: I'm going shopping, do you need anything?

Husband: I'm looking for inner-peace and happiness, an answer to my doubts, a sense of fulfilment, a medium through which I can transcend consciousness and reach true spirituality, calmness and...
Wife: Be specific; Smirnoff or Absolut?

earlier today I dropped an ice cube

It slipped under the refrigerator and I couldn't reach it. I was really upset about it at first but now I'm over it. water under the fridge.

Two blonde builders were working on a house.

One blonde was on a ladder nailing. She'd reach into her nail pouch, pull out a nail, look at it, and either toss it over her shoulder or proceed to nail it into the wood.
The other blonde couldn't stand it any longer and yelled up, "Why are you throwing some of the nails away?"
The first blonde explained, "When I pull it out of my nail pouch, if it's pointed toward me I throw it away. If it's pointed toward the house, then I can use it!"
The second blonde explained, "Don't throw away those nails that are pointed toward you! They're for the other side of the house!!"

A physicist and an engineer agree to take part in an experiment.

They are shown into a room where a n**... woman is lying on a bed on the other side of the room and told they can cross half the distance between them and the woman every minute.
The physicist throws up his hands and turns away.
The engineer walks halfway across the room.
"You fool!" says the physicist. "Don't you realise you will never actually reach her?"
"That's okay," says the engineer. "Pretty soon I will be close enough for all practical purposes!"

Today at the zoo I was let into the Lion enclosure

I said to the lion handler Why do I do if the lion tries to attack me?
He replied Don't be afraid it's very simple, if the lion charges you, reach behind your back, grab a pile of s**... off the ground and throw it in the lions face
I said to him But what if I reach behind me and there is no pile of s**... on the ground?
To which the lion handler said Don't worry it'll be there

Two turtles walk into a bar.

As soon as they enter inside, it starts to rain. The big turtle turns to the smaller one and says - Go home and get the umbrella.
Small Turtle - I will, if you promise not to touch my soda.
Two hours pass.......
Big Turtle - Well. I guess he's not coming back. May as well drink his soda.
As he's about to reach for it, a voice from outside the bar says - If you touch the soda, I won't go home and get the umbrella.

Two old biddies were sitting on a park bench, a streaker walked by…

One old lady has a s**.... The other couldn't reach.

Reach joke, Two old biddies were sitting on a park bench, a streaker walked by…

jokes about reach

Jokes are a form of humor that often involves clever wordplay, puns or unexpected twists in a story. These are usually short narratives or anecdotes crafted with the intent of amusing its audience by ending in an unexpected or humorous punchline. Jokes are a universal form of entertainment that people of all ages like adults, teens, kids and toddlers can enjoy. JokoJokes' FAQ section has answers to questions you may have!

The impact of these reach jokes can be both social and psychological. They can help to ease tensions, create bonds between people, and even improve overall mental health. The success of a joke often relies on the delivery, timing, and audience. Jokes can be used in various settings, from social gatherings to professional presentations, and are often employed to lighten the mood or enhance a story.