Reach Speeds Jokes
17 reach speeds jokes and hilarious reach speeds puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about reach speeds that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Reach Speeds Short Jokes
Short reach speeds jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The reach speeds humour may include short travelling speed jokes also.
- Swordfish & mako shark specials tonight... Swordfish & mako shark specials tonight. Lady asked which would be faster. I said the swordfish can reach speeds up to 60mph, shark 42mph...
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Reach Speeds One Liners
Which reach speeds one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with reach speeds? I can suggest the ones about faster speed and speed limit.
- What's the speed limit in bed? It's 68. Once you reach 69 you gotta turn around.
- Whats the best way to reach your m**... dealer? Speed dial
- What is the hardest speed for h**... to reach? 9 kmph.
Heartwarming Reach Speeds Jokes that Make You Laugh
What funny jokes about reach speeds you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean wind speed jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make reach speeds pranks.
3 drunk guys entered a taxi
The taxi driver knew that they were drunk so he started the engine & turned it off again. Then said, "We have reached your destination". The 1st guy gave him money & the 2nd guy said "Thank you".
The 3rd guy slapped the driver. The driver was shocked thinking the 3rd drunk knew what he did. But then he asked "What was that for?". The 3rd guy replied, "Control your speed next time, you nearly killed us!"
A Japanese businessman hails a taxi...
As they go along the highway, a car zooms past by.
"Oooh," exclaims the businessman, "that's a Toyota. Made in Japan, very fast!"
Moments later, another car speeds ahead.
"Ahhhhh," exclaims the businessman again, "a Nissan! Made in Japan too, also very fast!"
Then once more, another car rushes ahead.
"Oooooh," exclaims the businessman, "a Mitsubishi! Made in Japan and very fast again!"
Then they reach their destination.
"Why bill so big?!" complained the Japanese.
"Meter's made in Japan," replied the driver. "Very fast!"
Really drunk people?
3 men entered a taxi. The taxi driver could tell that they were drunk so he started the engine and turned it off. He then proceeded to tell them that they had reached their destination. The first guy gave him the money and the second guy thanked the taxi driver. The third guy suddenly slapped the driver. The driver was shocked; he was wondering if the third guy could see through his dishonesty. He then asked What was that for? The third guy, with a furious face yelled Control your speed next time you almost killed us!
My friend who's father is a multi-billionaire
My friend whose father is a multi-billionaire loves to talk about his extravagant lifestyle. One day, I asked him just exactly how large is the land owned by his father.
He answered I'll give you an idea, I can start driving at one end of the land in the morning at full speed, in one direction, and still not reach the other side of the land at night.
I could totally relate to that , I said
Really?
Yeah, I drive a Hyundai
The big race
It was the day of the big race. Usain Bolt was going to run against a cheetah, the world's fastest animal, capable of reaching speeds of up to 70 mph!
People knew Usain didn't stand a chance, but watched anyway. At last, they were off, and in a matter of seconds the race was over - amazingly, Usain Bolt came out victorious!!!
Because...cheetah's never win.
It was late at night .....
It was late at night and the police were out checking for erratic driving.
They spotted a car travelling alone along the dual carriageway and decided to follow it. The car never exceeded the speed limit, gave all the correct signals as it left the main road and when they reached the town it pulled up correctly at all the traffic lights.
Eventually, the police car overtook the car and flagged it down.
Good evening, Sir, said the policeman.
We felt we had to stop you to congratulate you on your perfect driving skills.
Well, thank you, officer, replied the driver, I always drive very carefully, especially when I've had a bit to drink.
Blonde joke
A blonde is speeding down the highway and notices the flashing lights of a police car behind her. She slows down and pulls over to wait for the police officer, who also happens to be a blonde.
The police officer asks her for her driver's license. The driver says:"I'm not sure what that is... what does it look like?"
Police officer:"It's a little square and it has your picture on it."
Driver: Reaches into the glove compartment and pulls out her compact, looks at her self in the mirror, seems satisfied and hands it to the officer.
Police officer:"Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't realize you were police officer! Have a nice day. You can go now."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A guy is driving down the highway when he notices a sign
A guy is driving down the highway when he notices a sign:
Speed Limit: 40 miles.
He decelerates to 40 miles per hour and later he notices one
another sign:
Speed Limit: 20 miles
So he pushes the brakes again until he reaches the 20 mile per
hour limit. He starts wondering why everyone overtakes him. After
a while, just another sign catches his attention:
Speed Limit: 5 miles
He goes w**...' but still follows the rules, not wanting to be fined.
After one hour, one another sign catches his attention:
Welcome to Speed Limit!
3 drunk guys got into a taxi...
...The taxi driver knew that they were drunk so he started the engine and after a few seconds, simply turned it off again.
Taxi driver: We have reached your destination!
The first guy gave him some money and the second guy thanked him as they clambered out of the car.
The third guy slapped the taxi driver across the face. The taxi driver was shocked, thinking the third guy was drunk.
Taxi driver: What was that for??
Third guy: Control your speed next time, you nearly killed us!!!
A joke I received from my cousin this morning.
4 drunk guys entered a taxi. The taxi driver knew that they were drunk so he started the engine, kept it started for 5 mins then turned it off again. He then told them"We have reached".
The 1st guy was too drunk.Without saying a word he got out of the taxi.
The 2nd guy gave him money.
The 3rd guy got out and said "thank you".
The 4th guy slapped the driver.
The driver was shocked, he thought the 4th guy knew what he did. But he asked "what was that for"?
The 4th guy replied: "CONTROL YOUR SPEED NEXT TIME, you nearly killed us"!