The Best 13 Rattlesnake Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Rattlesnake jokes. There are some rattlesnake viper jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these rattlesnake venomous puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Rattlesnake Jokes and Puns

A goat, a drum, and a rattlesnake fall down a cliff...

ba dum tss

My wife

Not many of you know that my wife was bitten by a rattlesnake over the summer, while we were camping. After two days of horrible, writhing agony, the snake died.

A Rabbi, a Priest, and a Pastor make a bet.

They say, "Whoever goes into the woods and converts the most dangerous animal, wins". So a week goes by and they all return. The Pastor comes back with a rattlesnake and says "He goes to church every week!". The priest comes back with cougar and says "His first he's getting confirmed next month!". The Rabbi comes back in a full body cast and says " You know, I probably shouldn't have tried to circumcise a bear."

Rattlesnake joke, A Rabbi, a Priest, and a Pastor make a bet.

How do you turn a cobra into a rattlesnake?

Give it to Michael J Fox

I can't believe rattlesnake warnings are called rattles

and not cautionary tails


How did possums learn to play dead?

When scientists learned that possums can survive up to 80 rattlesnake bites

I couldn't decide whether to get my nephew a toy or a pet for his first birthday.

Ended up buying him a rattlesnake.

Rattlesnake joke, I couldn't decide whether to get my nephew a toy or a pet for his first birthday.

What do you call it when you are bitten by a rattlesnake, and your uncle is the sheriff, and his sidekick hand delivers you the antidote?

Serumdeputy

I couldn't decide what to get my son for Christmas.

I thought maybe a toy, maybe a pet. So I compromised and bought him a rattlesnake.

I was bit by a rattlesnake last summer. After three days of excruciating pain

the snake died

What do you get when you cross a cobra with Michael J. Fox?

A rattlesnake.

You can explore rattlesnake constrictor reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean rattlesnake lasso dad jokes. There are also rattlesnake puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


A sheep, a percussion instrument, and a rattlesnake walk into a bar...

Baaa-Drum-Thhsssssss!

A sheep, a landfill, and a rattlesnake fall off a cliff

Baaaa-dump-tssssss!

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the rattlesnake cottonmouth jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working rattlesnake gored piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes