Rated Jokes

Funniest Rated Short Jokes

Short rated jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The rated humour may include short rating jokes also.

1. In Jamaica, a slice of pie costs $3.50. In the Bahamas, a slice of pie costs $5.50. These are the pie rates of the caribbean.
2. I asked a girl to rate me out of 10 the other day She said "you're an 8 on a scale of 10"
   I still don't understand why she wanted me to urinate on a skeleton
3. 1 slice of apple pie will cost you $2.45 in Jamaica. A slice of apple pie costs $3.75 in Trinidad and the same slice costs $4.45 in Barbados. And those are the Pie-Rates of the Caribbean.
4. The Robinhood app has a rating of 4.7 stars in the app store. But current market conditions prevent us from allowing investors to add new star. You may only remove stars until conditions improve.
5. Did you know that you can get a slice of lemon pie in cuba for $1.50 and in jamaica you can get key lime pie for $1.00? Those are the pie rates of the carribean.
6. There Once Was A Poet Named Bates, His poems weren't always first rate,
   His first lines weren't bad, but the problem he had,
   Was that he always tried to put too many syllables into the last line.
7. Why does Japan have a low obesity rate and a low birth rate? They don't like Fat Man and Little Boy
8. TIL Texas is called the lone star state because it was the minimum allowed in a 5 star rating system
9. A slice of pie costs $3.50 in Barbados, $3.00 in Saint Lucia, $2.50 in Belize, and $2 in Cuba.
   Those are the pie rates of the Caribbean.
10. Movie Ratings Explained G: Nobody gets the girl.
    PG: The good guy gets the girl.
    R: The bad guy gets the girl.
    X: Everybody gets the girl!

Share These Rated Jokes With Friends

Rated One Liners

Which rated one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with rated? I can suggest the ones about ranked and rates.

1. Why did elon musk go broke? Because his car insurance rates were astronomical.
2. Why don't alien visit our solar system? Terrible ratings. One star.
3. Whats Saudi Arabia's highest rated sitcom? How I bought your mother
4. 3.14% of sailors are... π-rates.
5. Girl if I had to rate you, I'd give you a 10 Oh the pH scale, because girl you are basic.
6. String Fight My ex used to hit me with stringed instruments. If only I had known about her history of violin.
7. 3.14% of all sailors are Pi-rates! (Have a great pi-day)
8. I'm so dumb and out of shape My resting heart rate is higher than my IQ
9. I went online and rated our Solar System Gave it one star.
10. Why don't aliens visit Earth Bc we have 1 star rating...
11. Why were birth rates low in 1970? You can't get pregnant during '69.
12. Vladimir Putin's approval rate is 80%... The other 20% are missing.
13. If I had to rate the solar system I'd give it one star.
14. I just bought a movie with 3.142 stars out of 5 It was a pi rated DVD
15. How would you rate USA and Saudi Arabia's relationship? 9/11

A Rated Jokes

Here is a list of funny a rated jokes and even better a rated puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• A slice of pie is $2.50 in the Bahamas. A slice of pie is $ 3.00 in Jamaica.
  Those are the pie rates of the Caribbean.
• Who's the only organization with a higher death rate than PETA? The Make-A-Wish foundation.
• Harry Potter movies should be rated R for the huge amount of cursing. ... i can find the door out.
• The Avengers are over rated. The Baltimore rioters destroyed half a city without any superpowers at all.
• I asked my wife.. I asked my wife to rate my listening skills and she said,
  "You're an 8 on a scale of 10."
  I still don't get why she wanted me to urinate on a skeleton..
• Meanwhile in business news... ...balloon prices are plummeting. Experts are putting it down to a poor inflation rate
• Overheard in line for a movie... Theater employee: "That's an R-rated movie. When's your birthday?"
  Teenage boy: "October 12th."
  Employee: "What year?"
  Boy: "Every year."
• My sister is an expert pastry-maker. She has to be to stay employed, her job has a high turnover rate.
• Why does japan have such a Low birth rate? Because the last time they saw a little boy, 90000 people died
• The line "Do you come here often?" Has a zero percent success rate at the abortion clinic.

Rated R Jokes

Here is a list of funny rated r jokes and even better rated r puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• Why are band and orchestra rated R? All the sax and violins
• A documentary about the history of the computer desktop was recently given an R rating... Turns out every icon was a little graphic.
• I heard the new Calculus movie was rated R It contains graphic content
• Star Wars was originally supposed to be an R-rated movie on account of one characters dialogue, But luckily they bleeped all R2-D2's lines out.
• Why was the musical R-rated? Because there was lots of Sax and Violins.
• I just watched a pirate movie It was rated "R"
• Who can watch an R rated movie but not a PG? Batman
• The Violin Ensemble playing in Carnegie Hall somehow got an R-18 rating... The censors say it contains explicit scenes of violins encore.
• Why is the movie about the early Germanic people rated r It contains Saxon violence.
• Fifty Shades of Grey beat the record for fastest selling R-rated movie in history... Well, first it tied the record... then it beat it....
  [credit goes to the Late Night with Seth Meyers writers]

R Rated Jokes

Here is a list of funny r rated jokes and even better r rated puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• How does R. Kelly respond when girls ask for a rating on a ten scale? Urinate
• 50 shades of grey broke a lot of box office records for R-rated movies… Well first it tied them, then it beat them.
• I saw a movie once with a lot of racist profanity Obviously, it got rated a hard R.
• I asked my friend if he wanted to seesaw. He told me he can't because his mom doesn't let him watch R-Rated movies.
• There is another Pirate movie coming out. Its going to be rated "R".
• Why are pirates not allowed to work at the MPAA? They rated every movie R
• I'm surprised An Inconvenient Sequel didn't get an R rating. It had so much Gore
• 51 R-Rated Hohttp://divide.rocks/schn8-51-r-rated-hollywood-gifsllywood GIFs | divide.rocks
• Any golf jokes? Was hoping you guys would have a few golf jokes for when I play my first game tomorrow. From PG to R rated is fine with me ;)
• If they made a movie of Chuck Norris standing still, it would be rated R for extreme violence.

Highest Rated Jokes

Here is a list of funny highest rated jokes and even better highest rated puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• TIL people who are color blind have the highest rates of divorce. They can't see the red flags.
• Why is Texas called the Lone Star State? Because that's the highest rating it could get
• Did you know Auschwitz has the highest hotel rating? 1.1 million stars
• Apparently, Nevada has the highest rate of depression and disloyal partners. What a sad state of affairs.
• A recent study found that California has the highest rate of Depression and Infidelity in America. It's a sad state of affairs.
• Courtesy of my 8yo son What's the highest rating that cheese can get?
  Grate.
• Rick and morty recently surpassed Big Bang Theory as the highest rated comedy on television... In other news, apparently Big Bang Theory is supposed to be funny.
• After reading that Afghanistan had the highest infant mortality rate, this occurred to me. What do you call Afghan triplets?
  Twins!
  I am so sorry....
• What part of Italy has the highest crime rate, The spaghetto
• Did you know that Germany has one of the highest renewable energy use ratings in the world? They most certainly use less gas now.

G Rated Jokes

Here is a list of funny g rated jokes and even better g rated puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• A joke my 8 year old brother told me. G rating Why dont you take a pokemon to the bathroom.
  Because it might pi-ka-chu
• I watched a film about cheese. It was G-Rated.
• Taking my 4 year old to see Straight Outta Compton. I can't remember ever being this excited for a movie that's rated G.
• Group hugs are like.... Group hugs are like a G rated o**...

Gather Around for Fun Rated Jokes and Laughter with Friends

What funny jokes about rated you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean rage jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make rated pranks.