Rated Jokes

Humoristic puns and funny pick up lines

Whats Saudi Arabia's highest rated sitcom?

How I bought your mother

Why was the Jazz movie rated R

Too much sax and violins

I was rated "number 1 most likely to not murder you in a cabin in a forest" in highschool.

I know, kind of a weird thing to be rated for but you won't find someone who disagrees.

I went online and rated our Solar System

Gave it one star.

Harry Potter movies should be rated R for the huge amount of cursing.

... i can find the door out.

The Avengers are over rated.

The Baltimore rioters destroyed half a city without any superpowers at all.

A guy was meeting his friend in the bar

As he walked in, he noticed two pretty girls looking at him. He heard one girl say to the other, "Nine." Feeling pleased with himself, he swaggered over to his buddy at the bar and told him that the girl in the corner had just rated him a nine out of ten. "Sorry to spoil your evening," said his friend, "but when I walked in they were speaking German"

I just bought a movie with 3.142 stars out of 5

It was a pi rated DVD

Why are band and orchestra rated R?

All the sax and violins

I heard the new Calculus movie was rated R

It contains graphic content

Why don't we have any alien visitors in our solar system?

I googled it and found the reason...

It's rated only '1 star' out there.

Why couldn't Batman go to the movie?

Because it was rated "PG"

Jews rated their trip to auschwitz

It was one star

Did you hear about the cruise that was rated 3.14 out of 10?

It was a pi-rate ship

I'm making a movie about meiosis

It's going to be rated R
Because sex cells.

Why are orchestras rated R?

Because of all the sax and violins.

I've come to the realisation that tofu is over rated-

It's just a curd to me.

If your mother was a video game she would be rated E

Because she has a great personality and I can't imagine anyone not wanting to be friends with her.

Dropped a dad joke bomb on an unsuspecting game stop employee

In Game Stop yesterday with my teenaged son, the the cashier asked me if I was ok buying a game that was rated T for teen, I replied "Of course, he is Four Teen!"

If my ex were to be rated by ESRB

She would be Rated E for Everyone.

Somalian women were rated the hottest out of any country...

They're all pirates, of course they have the most booty.

Rick and morty recently surpassed Big Bang Theory as the highest rated comedy on television...

In other news, apparently Big Bang Theory is supposed to be funny.

Supposedly this joke was rated the funniest joke in a survey of British people...

Patient: Doctor, last night, I made Freudian slip. I was sitting at the dinner table next to my mother-in-law. I turned to her and I meant to say,"Please pass the salt", but instead I said "You fat cow, you've ruined my life".

A man and his daughter get into an intense arguement.

Finally the daughter can take it anymore and storms off to her room shouting "Jim Morrison is over rated" before angrily shutting her bedroom door.

Her father equally as angry yelled back "How many times do I have to tell you? In this house we dont slam The Doors."

Why was the Pedophile's movie rated PG-13?

It only had minor nudity.

Osama bin Laden rated America.

He gave us a 9/11.

Who can watch an R rated movie but not a PG?


Need a good PG rated joke for a class...anybody have one?

I've been scouring the posts on here but a lot of them are highly sexual/not appropriate.

Have to give a joke for my Toastmasters class. Ideas?

How do you get a billionaire to donate their fortune to Planned Parenthood?

Take them to a PG rated movie.

I think they need to come out with an R rated Toy Story where the mom's sex toys all come to life too.

The theme song should still be "You got a friend in me".

Arsenal are playing Vorskla in the UEFA cup tonight.

They aren't that highly rated and no one really knows much about them, but apparently they're a small club from North London. 😁

Why are pirates so vulgar?

The only movies they watch are rated "R".

Why couldnt the 11 year old enter the pirate movie?

....Because it was rated Argggh

Did you hear about the new pirate movie?

It was rated AARRR

They're making a x rated version of Alice in wonderland where Alice is played by a dominiatrix

It's called Alice in chains

Today I was rated a 2 in binary!

Because I am 1 0


I rated that girl a 10

on the pH scale because she looked pretty basic.

I saw a movie once with a lot of racist profanity

Obviously, it got rated a hard R.

If your mom was a video game, she'd be rated E.

For everyone.


This is underRated

What kind of movies do pirates like?

Aaaarrrrrrrr rated movies

Why is the new Zork game rated M for mature??

I guess it's too grue-some.

Taking my 4 year old to see Straight Outta Compton.

I can't remember ever being this excited for a movie that's rated G.

Arrgh! These be some pirate jokes.

Did you hear about the new pirate movie? It's rated Arrrrrgggghhhh

What is a pirates favorite letter?
Most think it's Arrrrgh but, it is really the Sea(c).

What are the funniest rated jokes of all time?

Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking about Rated? Well, here are the best Rated puns to laugh out loud. Crazy and funny Rated pick up lines to share with friends.

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