Rat Jokes

83 rat jokes and hilarious rat puns to laugh out loud. Read animal jokes about rat that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Discover some funny rat jokes! Read jokes that involve dead rats, roaches, meows, and squeaky noises. Have a good laugh with these cheesy rat jokes and puns that'll make your friends squeal with delight!

Quick Jump To

jokes about rat

Best Short Rat Jokes

Short rat puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The rat humour may include short roach jokes also.

  1. A million or more lab rats die each year and my fiance screams at me for running over a mouse. That's the last time we're going to Disney.
  2. What did Pablo Escobar say when he was ratted out by members of his own cartel? "I would have gotten away with it too, if it weren't for you Medellín kids"
  3. My friend's a scientist and accidentally chilled his lab rat to absolute zero... At first the rat was just frozen, but he's 0K now.
  4. Two rats sit in a dustbin and eat a DVD. Two rats sit in a dustbin and eat a DVD.
    Suddenly, one says:
    - You know Stefan, the book was better. (͡ ° ͜ʖ ͡ °)
  5. 15 dollars for a rat trap, 3 dollars for cheese Coming home to find a house not full of droppings?. Miceless.
  6. Our boss just banned overly specific nicknames and the whole office is staring at Rat Snitch Brian The Good Time Ruiner
  7. I knew I was destined to be a psychologist not a magician... ...when I pulled a habit out of a rat.
  8. Arnold Schwarzeneggar never has mice, rats or cockroaches in his house He is an ex Terminator
  9. What's the difference between a magician and a psychologist? A magician makes rabbits appear in hats, while a psychologist makes habits appear in rats.
  10. A joke from my 10-year-old - what kind of car would a mouse or rat drive? A Mouse-or-ratty

Make fun with this list of one liners, jokes and riddles. Each joke is crafted with thought and creativity, delivering punchlines that are unexpected and witty. The humor about rat can easily lighten the mood and bring smiles to people's faces. This compilation of rat puns is not just entertaining but also a testament to the art of joke-telling. The jokes in this list are designed to display different humor styles, ensuring that every reader at any age finds something entertaining. Constantly updated, they offer a source of fun that ensures one is always smiling !

Share Jokes With Friends

Rat One Liners

Which rat one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with rat? I can suggest the ones about centipede and squirrel.

  1. What do you get when you mix a rat and an elephant? Who cares? It's a relephant.
  2. What do you call a scientist that snitches on you ? A lab rat
  3. What did the mouse say when his cheese was stolen? Rats!
  4. I'm in a band called Arrogant Rat We're like Modest Mouse but way better
  5. What do rats like on their birthday? Mice cream and cake!
    C'mon, you know the rules!!
  6. What do you call 6.022x10^23 rodents? A Mol Rat
  7. What do you call four rats on a mathematical equation? A quadratic equation :)
  8. What do you call a rat that has reached enlightenment? A Buddha-Pest
  9. What do you call a tattoo'd rat? [OC] Tattatouille
    (My first post here, hope I did okay)
  10. Why wouldn't the mouse tell the police where he hid the cheese? Because he's not a rat.
  11. I have two pet rats in love with each other They just got encaged.
  12. At the laboratory, what did they name their first experimental subject? Lab rat Tory
  13. What do you call someone who rats out the Yakuza? An Akuza.
  14. I'm a scientist who's researching b**... between humans and dogs… If you'd like more details, I'll be in my lab…
  15. What do rich folks and rats have in common? They're leaving New York City

Dead Rat Jokes

Here is a list of funny dead rat jokes and even better dead rat puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Original content on YouTube Guess I'll just tase a rat or fake a near-death experience while skydiving just cause I recently shot a dead man
  • What do you call a dead baby, a rat, 6 week old bread and a gherkin? A Big Mac.

Rat Poison Jokes

Here is a list of funny rat poison jokes and even better rat poison puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • What did the poisoned rat say to himself as his blood ceased to clot and internal bleeding ensued? Bromadiolone.
  • Had to buy rat poison last week. I'm with a really huge problem at home. Can't stand my roomate.

Rat Race Jokes

Here is a list of funny rat race jokes and even better rat race puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • My mate quit the rat race to become an apple farmer, and now he's whining about how much work it is. So I told him to just grow a pear.
  • I'm gonna quit the rat race and become a sculptor. One of my mates did it, and he's already made six figures!
  • I'm thinking of leaving the rat race and becoming a cannabis farmer. It's a kushy job.

Experience Instant Grins & Giggles with Playful Rat Jokes

What funny jokes about rat you can tell and make people laugh? One example I can give are clean hamster jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help make rat prank.

According to the Chinese Zodiac, 2020 was the Year of the Rat

So we've been spending the entire year holed up, only briefly leaving to get food, running at the sight of other humans, and transmitting infection.

A church has a rat problem

The church doesn't want to kill the rats so they trap them and release them far away, but the next day they are back.
Next they try ask them politely to leave, still they won't budge.
Finally the priest has one last idea, he baptized all the rats.
Now they only come at Christmas and Easter.

I work at a pharmaceutical research lab, and we managed to kill a rat with m**... today.

To be fair, it took around 20 lbs of it and we had to drop it on him a few times.

A concerned husband goes to his priest...

"Father, I think my wife is trying to poison me. Every time she makes me something to eat, the rat poison bottle gets lighter and lighter."
Troubled by hearing this, the priest tells the man, "I will go and speak with your wife and see what is going on here."
The priest then heads to their home and sits down with the wife and has a long discussion. He then comes back to talk to the husband.
"I've spoken with your wife for over 45 minutes about this", the priest said.
The husband looks intently at the priest, "Yeah, what should I do?"
The priest calmly says "you should take the poison."

The woman and her chili.

A man walks into a bar and notices a woman sitting at a table. In front of her on the table is a full bowl of chili. Since the man is very hungry, he asks her if he can have her chili. She agrees, giving him the bowl. The man starts to quickly put spoonfuls into his mouth. As he gets to the end of the chili, he sees a dead rat at the bottom. This causes him to v**... back into the bowl.
In response, the woman said: "Yep, that's about as far as I got too."

How is a joke like an animal?

When you dissect it, it dies.
Get it? Because just like when you take apart an animal to see how it works, it obviously can't be alive anymore, by the same logic, picking apart the inner workings of a joke by over-explaining the punchline is going to kill the humorous spirit it carries; it would be ridiculous to expect a cat with its stomach contents spread out across a table to get up and catch a rat, and it would be similarly unfathomable to expect a joke with its punchline spelled out over a dozen lines of text to still produce a guffaw. How anyone...

Whenever my boss asks, "Having fun yet?"

I say, "Are you kidding, this is my Disneyland!"
because my boss is a rat, my co-workers are goofy and this is a Mickey Mouse operation.

What did one lab rat say to the other?

*"I've got my scientist so well trained that every time I push the buzzer, he brings me a snack."*

Where does a p**... go to rat out her p**...?

To a h**...-tell.

Rat Dreams

David goes to a doctor.
David : Doctor, I see weird dreams.... Rats play soccer in my dreams.
Doctor : I see... I'll write you some tablets. Start taking them from tonight.
David : Can I please start taking them from tomorrow?
Doctor : Why from tomorrow? Why not before going to bed tonight?
David : Because it's the finals tonight

Chris pratt came up on the news

My dad said "y'know it's sad"
I replied "what's wrong"
He said "that someone could name their son crisp Rat "

A rat along with two of his best buddies walk into a bar

the bar had to be shut down due to health violations.

I saw a rat , so i found a bat and started hitting.

My son was crying , I'm banned from chucky cheese's.

A pidgeon and a rat walks into a bar

So now im looking for a cleaner place to grab a drink

A little girl runs to her mum

"Mummy, I just saw a rat as big as an elephant!".
Her mum starts shouting angrily at her: "I told you one hundred thousands billions times not to exaggerate things!"

Excuse me, there's a large rat in your restroom.

Me: Excuse me, there's a large rat in your restroom.
Starbucks Employee: I'm sorry, what was that?
Me, leaning in: I said there's a large rat in your restroom.
Starbucks Employee: I'm sorry dear, I didn't quite get that.
People In the Store: *Look at me like I'm an idiot*
Me: *sigh* There's a *VENTI* rat in your restroom!


Guy in a bar reading the newspaper: Wow. Listen to this! A 'highly regarded research laboratory' was just found to be using lawyers instead of rats.
Barman: Why would they do that? Aren't lawyers a lot more expensive?
Guy: Sure, but there are some things even a rat won't do.

What do you get when you cross a Rat and a Mountain Climber?

Nothing, you can't cross a vector by a scalar.

The one rat asked the other rat if he's had the vaccine?

Nope, they're still testing it on humans
Let's see how that goes

What do you call a fat rat?


Rat vs lawyer

What's the difference between when a lawyer gets killed by a car and a rat that gets killed by a car?
There were no skid marks for the lawyer.

Legal Humor

A recent news headline indicated that lawyers were now being used as experimental test subjects in place of laboratory rats. I read further because this just didn't seem right, but the story gave several very solid reasons for the substitution of lawyers for rats.
First: There are more of them.
Second: The researchers had a tendency to become attached to the laboratory rats.
Third: There are just some things you can't get a rat to do.

What's the difference between a flying mammal in sunglasses and a mouse in disguise?

One's a rad bat, the other's a bad rat

Not many people know that B.F. Skinner, the famous behavioral psychologist, had a second career as a stage magician.

His big trick was pulling a habit out of a rat.

A Chinese joke translated to English

A lion is getting married in jungle. There is a big bash and all animals are dancing to the tune of loud music being played.
In a corner, a rat is dancing too.
Rat is asked, "Hey! Why are you dancing?
Rat replied, "It's my brother's marriage, so only."
"When did the lion become you brother?"
The Rat: "Before marriage I was a lion too."

A man asks for his wife on his deathbed

Man: Dear I have to tell you a secret.
Wife: You don't have to.
Man: I must. I cannot leave this world with this secret. Please forgive me.
Wife: Ok, tell me.
Man: I have a mistress.
Wife: I know. I found out earlier today. Now stop resisting and let the rat poison kill you.

Pick up line for a one-armed gym rat.

I go two tickets to the gun show, you want the extra?

I'm devastated. My pet rat Elvis just died.

He was caught in a trap

chinese new years

2009. Ox
2010. Tiger.
2011. Rabbit.
2012. Dragon.
2013. Snake.
2014. Horse.
2015. Goat.
2016. Monkey.
2017. Rooster.
2018. Dog.
2019. Pig.
2020. Rat.
2021. Ox.
All served with rice or chips, bat and pangolin scale sauce £1.00 extra.

What do you call a b**... rat that steals all your food?

A Rat-c**...

Hope you guys are light hearted enough to not be offended.

what do you call a awesome rat


What Do you Call a Marriage Between a Rat and a Fox

The Biggest Merger in Film Industry

What do you call a sea fairing rodent that likes pastries?

A pie rat

French scientists announced that they can finally successfully clone a rat!

Thank goodness! This will solve the huge rat shortage.

I had a lab rat who had a heart attack and fainted

Had to perform Mouth-to-Mouse resuscitation on him

Who is a rodent's favorite musician?

Rat King Cole

If i get a rat tail...

If i get a rat tail on my chinese food, should i complain or is it on the house?

Did you hear Jurassic World got shut down?

Apparently they found a crisp rat in the kitchen!

How did the hood rat cross the street?

to ghetto the other side

Riff Raff should name his next album "Street Rat."

'Cause I won't buy that.

What did the store clerk say to the rat he found under a shelf in his store?

Who is Logan Paul's favourite actor?

Crisp Rat

What do you call a mouse stuck in an engine?

A hood rat

What do you call a walking talking rat?


Did you hear about the girl who resembles a rat?

She comes from verminy

A friend got me a rat wearing a tank top for Christmas.

He said, It's a gymrat. I hope he works out for you.

Jokes are a form of humor that often involves clever wordplay, puns or unexpected twists in a story. These are usually short narratives or anecdotes crafted with the intent of amusing its audience by ending in an unexpected or humorous punchline. Jokes are a universal form of entertainment that people of all ages like adults, teens, kids and toddlers can enjoy. JokoJokes' FAQ section has answers to questions you may have!

The impact of these rat jokes can be both social and psychological. They can help to ease tensions, create bonds between people, and even improve overall mental health. The success of a joke often relies on the delivery, timing, and audience. Jokes can be used in various settings, from social gatherings to professional presentations, and are often employed to lighten the mood or enhance a story.