The Best 54 Rash Jokes

Following is our collection of Rash jokes which are very funny. There are some rash reckless jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud. Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these rash terrible rash puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Funny Rash Jokes and Puns

What do you call an impatient skin infection?


Why did no one trust the dermatologist?

He kept making rash decisions.

I asked my Pharmacist for advice on telling a rash joke..

he told me to make it topical.

What did Bruce Banner get after having sex with as prostitute?


A roofer went to the doctor for a rash

He has shingles.

A man walks into a grocery store

After getting all his food he brings it to the cash register to ring it up. The cashier says "that'll be $49.95", The man hands him a $100 bill and the cashier asks "do you have anything smaller? We've been having a rash of counterfeit bills lately"; the man reaches in his pockets and hands him a $55 bill

I had sex with a prostitute last night...

It turned out to be a rash decision.

The itch from poison ivy is so bad that I just spent hundreds of dollars buying every possible cream and ointment at the pharmacy.

I need to quit making rash decisions.

A man goes to the doctor with a terrible rash on his nuts

The doctor says, "well you'll have to stop masturbating". Man says "why?"

Doctor says, "because it's making it really hard to examine you"

Have you heard that some bad dogs are running around burning down dog-houses?

It's a rash of arfson.

What does a cloud with an itchy rash do?

Find the nearest skyscraper.

You can explore rash ointment reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean rash prescribe dad jokes. There are also rash puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.

You shouldn't trust dermatologists.

They make a lot of rash decisions.

I'm too calm to be a Dermatologist.

I refuse to make rash decisions.

What you should do if you have a rash

Choose your doctor and medication carefully, you don't want to make any rash decisions.

Keep away from professional dermatologists..

They make rash decisions

I saw a dermatologist about a nasty red patch on my skin.

I asked if it would get better, but he said he didn't want to make any rash promises.

Did you hear about the rash of manhole cover thefts?

They're calling it the Great Drain Robbery

Albert got a rash after he visited the brothel.

He had an Al orgy.

"I'd like to prescribe you a topical ointment for that skin condition," my doctor said.

"Woah, woah, woah, doc," I replied. "Let's not make any rash decisions."

My boss said to me...

'Why do you break out in a rash every time I give you your pay check?'

Me: 'I'm allergic to peanuts!'

Why was the dermatologist fired?

He made too many rash decisions.

My friend has an intermittent rash that resembles elephants.

Turns out it's pachydermatitis.

What did the painting of the Haywain and the rash on the lesbians chin have in common?

They are both by Constable

(really bad, so sorry)

What do you give a pig with a rash?


What'd the doctor say to the nurse about skin patients?

Don't make any rash decisions.

I went to the doctor for a rash...

Doctor: What toiletries are you using?

Me: Steven's soap, Steven's shampoo, Steven's toothpaste and Steven's toothbrush.

Doctor: Huh, so is Steven's a foreign brand?

Me: No, Steven is my roommate.

There are several types of vests designed to protect a person...

There's Life Vests - designed to protect a person from drowning.
There's Bullet Proof Vests - designed to protect a person from bullets.
There's High Visibility Safety Vests - designed to protect a person from getting hit while near traffic.
There's Leather Vests - designed to protect a person from road rash when laying down their motorcycle.
And there's Sweater Vests - designed to protect a person from women.

I had some bumps on my arm and was going to get it amputated.

The doctor thought it was a little rash.

I couldn't figure out which lotion to use for my skin condition. I tried asking my doctor...

He just said "I don't wanna make any rash decisions ."

How do you treat an imaginary rash?


I wasn't sure if I should go to the STI clinic or not.

I didn't want to make a rash decision.

What do you call a person who has a rash but denies that it's a rash?


In spite of my anger, I decided not to bring my wetsuit to the beach.

It was a rash decision.

Apparently, if new dots on your arm don't fade under a glass tumbler, you should seek medical advice without thinking.

Which makes it easier for me, as I'm terrible at making rash decisions.

On a whim, I decided to roll around in some poison ivy.

It was a real rash decision.

Why was the dermatologist fired?

He was making too many rash decisions.

I can't believe he was acneing so stupid.

I broke out with an allergic reaction.

My mom wanted to take me to the ER immediately, but my dad said, Let's not make any rash decisions.

I fear change...

The pennies make my hands come out in a rash.

What did the baby rash say to the momma rash when she asked 'what do you want for breakfast?'


TIFU by getting a horrible rash from poison oak.

Whoops, wrong shrub.

What do you give a pig with a diaper rash?


I get this rash whenever I wear tight t-shirts.

I did some research and apparently it is called derma-tight-tees.

Went hiking and got a little poison ivy on myself.

When I went to the pharmacy to pick up some medication I had to make a rash decision.

I have this habit of collecting strange injuries from plants, and I recently contracted a weird rash from planting tulips...

I caught a Bulb-a-sore.

What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a four leaf clover?

A rash of good luck

I'm not sure how I feel about this rash on my neck.

But it's starting to grow on me.

My roommate had a terrible rash

My roommate had a terrible rash that didn't seem to want to go away.

He decided to go see the doctor about it.

I came home that day to see him crying on the couch.

"Oh no... bad news?"

"Nope! The doctor said I'll be fine. He told me to 'Just go home and moist your eyes.'"

I was trying to self diagnose my skin condition by using WebMD...

...then I thought, without professional advice its best not to make any rash decisions.

What does a pig do when it gets a rash?

Applies oinkment

A guy was high and was rash driving when he suddenly ran over a group of people walking on the footpath

He was later detained by the police and summoned to the court.

The judge asked him: Why did you run over the group when clearly there was a single person walking on footpath which was on other side of the road? Clearly there would have been less casualties!

The guy answers: I was gonna do the same but that guy saw me coming and immediately ran towards the crowd

This naked man walks into a psychiatrist's office ...

He is naked except that he is completely wrapped in head to toe with cellophane. He says, "First impression, doc, am I crazy?"

The doctor says, "Well, normally I don't like making rash diagnoses but in this case it is sooo obvious. Everyone in my entire office can see your nuts."

My Dermatologist was fired today...

I'm told he made too many rash decisions.

My boss asked me, "Why do you come out in a rash every time I give you your wages?"

I said, "Because I'm allergic to peanuts."

Alex was at the store and couldn't decide between buying tinactin or lotrimin. After all....

He didn't want to make a rash decision.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the rash oinkment jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working rash impulsive piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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