Rash Jokes
76 rash jokes and hilarious rash puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about rash that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Rash jokes are an unorthodox way to deal with a common skin condition. Get an inside look at shingles rash, its symptoms, ointments and more. Find out what to do if you have a bad rash or sores, or if you simply need to laugh at a rash-related joke. Read on to learn more!
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Funniest Rash Short Jokes
Short rash jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The rash humour may include short swelling jokes also.
- Deaf people aren't known to be very rational They have trouble making sound decisions.
- I woke up with an allergic reaction spreading all over my body. Instinctively I thought to go straight to the doctor, but then I realized quickly that one should never make rash decisions!
- The itch from poison ivy is so bad that I just spent hundreds of dollars buying every possible cream and ointment at the pharmacy. I need to quit making rash decisions.
- Why did the physician decide to go into dermatology? No reason, it was really more of a rash decision.
- My boss asked me, "Why do you come out in a rash every time I give you your wages?" I said, "Because I'm allergic to peanuts."
- I asked my dermatologist why she waits a month to diagnose a skin disorder she replied she's reluctant to make a rash decision
- "I'd like to prescribe you a topical ointment for that skin condition," my doctor said. "Woah, woah, woah, doc," I replied. "Let's not make any rash decisions."
- There was an Irish botanist that was trying to cross a four leaf clover with poison ivy... He was hoping for a rash of good luck.
- Went hiking and got a little poison ivy on myself. When I went to the pharmacy to pick up some medication I had to make a rash decision.
- I couldn't figure out which lotion to use for my skin condition. I tried asking my doctor... He just said "I don't wanna make any rash decisions ."
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Rash One Liners
Which rash one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with rash? I can suggest the ones about acne and pimples.
- Why did no one trust the dermatologist? He kept making rash decisions.
- What does a cloud with an itchy rash do? Find the nearest skyscraper.
- Keep away from professional dermatologists.. They make rash decisions
- What do you give a pig with a rash? Oink-ment!
- I’d rather treat my baby’s diaper rash than have lunch with you.
- I'm too calm to be a Dermatologist. I refuse to make rash decisions.
- What do you call an impatient skin infection? *Rash*
- My Dermatologist was fired today... I'm told he made too many rash decisions.
- What rash is commonly found on houses? Shingles.
- Why was the dermatologist fired? He made too many rash decisions.
- You shouldn't trust dermatologists. They make a lot of rash decisions.
- I asked my Pharmacist for advice on telling a rash joke.. he told me to make it topical.
- I fear change... The pennies make my hands come out in a rash.
- What'd the doctor say to the nurse about skin patients? Don't make any rash decisions.
- How do you stop Harry Potter from spreading rashes? Tell him to quidditching it
Bad Rash Jokes
Here is a list of funny bad rash jokes and even better bad rash puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Have you heard that some bad dogs are running around burning down dog-houses? It's a rash of arfson.
- What did the painting of the Haywain and the rash on the l**... chin have in common? They are both by Constable
(really bad, so sorry)
Diaper Rash Jokes
Here is a list of funny diaper rash jokes and even better diaper rash puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- What do you give a pig with a diaper rash? Oinkment
- Ever brush your teeth by accident with diaper cream? No, well be careful I heard there's been a rash of incidents.
Terrible Rash Jokes
Here is a list of funny terrible rash jokes and even better terrible rash puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Apparently, if new dots on your arm don't fade under a glass tumbler, you should seek medical advice without thinking. Which makes it easier for me, as I'm terrible at making rash decisions.
- A man goes to the doctor with a terrible rash on his nut The doctor says, "well you'll have to stop m**...". Man says "why?"
Doctor says, "because it's making it really hard to examine you"
Shingles Rash Jokes
Here is a list of funny shingles rash jokes and even better shingles rash puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- A roofer went to the doctor for a rash He has shingles.
Uproarious Rash Jokes to Have a Laugh Out Loud Good Time
What funny jokes about rash you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean outbreak jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make rash pranks.
I accidently mixed some poison ivy with a 4 leafed clover and ever since I've had a rash of good luck...
I accidently mixed up some poison ivy with a 4 leafed clover and ever since I've had a rash of good luck...
A man walks into a grocery store
After getting all his food he brings it to the cash register to ring it up. The cashier says "that'll be $49.95", The man hands him a $100 bill and the cashier asks "do you have anything smaller? We've been having a rash of counterfeit bills lately"; the man reaches in his pockets and hands him a $55 bill
I had s**... with a p**... last night...
It turned out to be a rash decision.
What you should do if you have a rash
Choose your doctor and medication carefully, you don't want to make any rash decisions.
Albert got a rash after he visited the brothel.
He had an Al o**....
My boss said to me...
'Why do you break out in a rash every time I give you your pay check?'
Me: 'I'm allergic to peanuts!'
My friend has an intermittent rash that resembles elephants.
Turns out it's pachydermatitis.
I went to the doctor for a rash...
Doctor: What toiletries are you using?
Me: Steven's soap, Steven's shampoo, Steven's toothpaste and Steven's toothbrush.
Doctor: Huh, so is Steven's a foreign brand?
Me: No, Steven is my roommate.
There are several types of vests designed to protect a person...
There's Life Vests - designed to protect a person from drowning.
There's Bullet Proof Vests - designed to protect a person from bullets.
There's High Visibility Safety Vests - designed to protect a person from getting hit while near traffic.
There's Leather Vests - designed to protect a person from road rash when laying down their motorcycle.
And there's Sweater Vests - designed to protect a person from women.
I had some bumps on my arm and was going to get it amputated.
The doctor thought it was a little rash.
How do you treat an imaginary rash?
Pseudocrem
I wasn't sure if I should go to the STI clinic or not.
I didn't want to make a rash decision.
What do you call a person who has a rash but denies that it's a rash?
Irrational
In spite of my anger, I decided not to bring my wetsuit to the beach.
It was a rash decision.
On a whim, I decided to roll around in some poison ivy.
It was a real rash decision.
Why was the dermatologist fired?
He was making too many rash decisions.
I can't believe he was acneing so s**....
I broke out with an allergic reaction.
My mom wanted to take me to the ER immediately, but my dad said, Let's not make any rash decisions.
What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a four leaf clover?
A rash of good luck
I'm not sure how I feel about this rash on my neck.
But it's starting to grow on me.
My roommate had a terrible rash
My roommate had a terrible rash that didn't seem to want to go away.
He decided to go see the doctor about it.
I came home that day to see him crying on the couch.
"Oh no... bad news?"
"Nope! The doctor said I'll be fine. He told me to 'Just go home and moist your eyes.'"
I was trying to self diagnose my skin condition by using WebMD...
...then I thought, without professional advice its best not to make any rash decisions.
What does a pig do when it gets a rash?
Applies oinkment
A guy was high and was rash driving when he suddenly ran over a group of people walking on the footpath
He was later detained by the police and summoned to the court.
The judge asked him: Why did you run over the group when clearly there was a single person walking on footpath which was on other side of the road? Clearly there would have been less casualties!
The guy answers: I was gonna do the same but that guy saw me coming and immediately ran towards the crowd
This n**... man walks into a psychiatrist's office ...
He is n**... except that he is completely wrapped in head to toe with cellophane. He says, "First impression, doc, am I crazy?"
The doctor says, "Well, normally I don't like making rash diagnoses but in this case it is sooo obvious. Everyone in my entire office can see your nuts."
Alex was at the store and couldn't decide between buying tinactin or lotrimin. After all....
He didn't want to make a rash decision.
Allergic reaction
I woke up with an allergic reaction spreading all over my body. Instinctively I thought to go straight to the doctor, but then I realized quickly that one should never make rash decisions!
My anti-vaxxer friend told me of his plan to deliberately catch chickenpox.
I have no idea what would cause him to make such a rash decision.
