Rare Jokes

Looking to add something unique and infrequently heard to your next gathering? Check out this rare collection of jokes, featuring some of the most great, unique, and unhygienic steak so rare jokes. Enjoy the unique and rare finds that you can’t get just anywhere.

Hilarious Rare Jokes for a Fun-Filled Night with Friends

It's very rare that a defibrillator fails.

But when it happens no one is shocked.

I've been diagnosed with a rare condition that makes me think I'm an airport building.

Hope it's not terminal.

A man goes to the doctor ...

... and says "Doctor, I'm having a really strange problem. I can't get the song *What's New, Pussycat* out of my head.

Doctor says, "Well, it sounds like you may have Tom Jones' Disease."

The man opens his eyes wide. "I never heard of that before," he said. "Is it rare?"

Doctor shakes his head. "It's not unusual."

A steak pun

is a rare medium well done

jokes about rare

A man and a woman go out to dinner...

This is during the time the Mad Cow disease ravished Britain. A man and a woman are sitting at a table when the waiter approaches them, asking "what would you like for dinner?"

The man replies, I'll have a fat juicy steak, medium rare with all the trimmings. Gravy and roast potatoes please. The waiter asks "what about the mad cow?"

To which the man replies
"Nahh she'll just have fish"

An Arab Sheik was admitted to Hospital for heart surgery.

But prior to the surgery, the doctors needed to store his blood in case a need arose.

As the gentleman had a rare type of blood, it couldn't be found locally, so the call went out.

Finally a Scotsman was located who had a similar blood type. The Scot willingly donated his blood for the Arab.

After the surgery, the Arab sent the Scotsman as appreciation for giving his blood, a new BMW motorcycle, diamonds and a substantial sum of money.

A couple of days later, the Arab had to go through a corrective surgery.

His doctor telephoned the Scotsman who was more than happy to donate his blood again.

After the second surgery, the Arab sent the Scotsman a thank-you card and a box of Quality Street chocolates.

The Scotsman was shocked that the Arab did not reciprocate his kind gesture as he had anticipated.

He phoned the Arab and asked him: "I thought you would be generous again, that you would give me another motorcycle, diamonds & money... but you only gave me a thank-you card & a box of Quality Street chocolates."

To this the Arab replied: "Aye laddie, but I now have Scottish blood in ma veins".

Tom Jones Syndrome

A woman goes to a doctor's office to get results back from a test she took a few weeks ago. The doctor sits her down and tells her "You have TJS, Tom Jones Syndrome." The woman, scared, asks "Is it rare?" and the doctor replies "It's not unusual"

Rare joke, Tom Jones Syndrome

A man goes to his doctor

"Doc, you gotta help me. I can't stop singing What's New Pussycat."
"Oh, that sounds like Tom Jones Syndrome," said the doctor.
"Tom Jones Syndrome? Is that rare?"
"It's not unusual."

Tom Jones' Disease

A Man goes to the Doctor and lays out his problems. He says whenever he sees a cat he yells "What's New, Pussycat?"
If he sees a woman while on the street, he exclaims "She's A Lady!" which is really driving his wife crazy.
And speaking of his wife he keeps calling her Delilah, when her name is Susan!

The doctor says "Considering your symptoms, it sounds like you have Tom Jones' Disease"

"Tom Jones' Disease? I've never heard of that! Is it rare?"

"It's not unusual"

Did you hear about that psychic who performed self-immolation in public today?

It's rare to see a medium well done.

John Snow.

John Snow was at a bar outside the great wall drinking. A beautiful girl comes inside and her eyes meet his. She likes him, so she goes and introduce herself.

-Hello, handsome. My name is Jenny Spring. What's yours?

John laughs and continues with his drink.

-Why is this funny?

John responds,

-Nothing. I just imagine how rare it would be to have 7 inches of Snow in spring...

You can explore rare infrequently reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean rare sauce dad jokes. There are also rare puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.

There aren't many books on how to cook steak

It's a rare medium done well.

Why are steak puns so rare?

Because they are never well done.

A world renowned chef undercooked the meat

It was a rare misteak

Health insurance is rare for exotic dancers.

Most strippers have little or no coverage.

Why is women's soccer so rare?

It's quite hard to find enough women willing to wear the same outfit.

Rare joke, Why is women's soccer so rare?

Scientist have found a rare mutation in some goats...

It's called the Billy gene and causes them to believe that the kid is not their son.

Cataracts are extremely rare in Japan.

Chevrorets and Rincolns, on the other hand, are quite common.

I went out for a nice meal one day when the waiter asked...

"How would you like your steak, sir?" "The same way I like my sex," I replied. He smiled and said, "So, rare?"

Why are clairvoyants called mediums?

Because they're not rare or well done.

" doctor I can't stop singing What's New Pussycat."

" I think you might have Tom Jones syndrome."
" is it rare?" " it's not unusual."

Guy orders a steak at a restaurant.

The waiter brings it out and its rare.

"Excuse me, I said well done." says the guy

"Oh sorry, I didn't hear you", says the waiter, "Thanks very much!"

A guy says, ...

A guy says, "Help me, doctor, I can't stop singing What's new Pussycat?"

The doctor says, "Oh no, you may have Tom Jones disease."

Guy says, "I've never heard of that. Is it rare?"

The doctor says, "It's not unusual."

A waiter served me some rare steak

But when I told him "I like it well done", he said "thank you".

What do you call a psychic cow?

Medium Rare.

How can you tell when you play RPGs way too much?

When your girlfriend's/wife's pants become a rare drop!

Rare joke, How can you tell when you play RPGs way too much?

I like my sex how I like my steak

rare

It's Trump's wedding anniversary in a few days and in a rare tender moment, he described the first time he ever laid eyes on Melania...

..and clicked 'add to cart'

TIL in France it's rare for people to have more than one egg for breakfast

It turns out that in France one egg is un oeuf.

"You have a very rare and extremely contagious condition"

the doctor told his patient.

"We're going to have to put you in an isolation unit where you'll be on a diet of pancakes and pizza."

"Will the pancakes and pizza cure my condition?" asked the patient.

"No," replied the doctor.

"They're the only things we can slip under the door."

I asked a chef if he ever served a steak raw..

He said yeah but it's rare.

Got my wife with the greatest dadjoke yet

She was talking about something and I got the rare chance to interrupt her by saying "Hi leaving and taking the kids due to these stupid jokes, I'm dad!"

How do you like your steak

Waiter: How do you like your steak, sir?

Sir: Like winning an argument with my wife.

Waiter: Rare it is.

Sir, you've got a very rare disease

Me: "How rare?"

Doctor: "You pick the name"

My wife has this weird OCD where she arranges the dinner plates by the year they were bought.

It's an extremely rare dish order.

I was digging up our garden when I found a box full of old rare coins. I was really excited so I ran inside to tell my wife about it.

Then I remembered why I was digging up our garden.

Waiter: How do you like your steak cooked?

Me: Like winning an argument with
my wife.

Waiter: Rare it is.

I had a rare condition growing up where I had to eat dirt 3 times a day.

Thankfully my brother told me, I could have died.

So on a flight, there is a woman who is sneezing.

Now see, this woman is sneezing very vigorously. Eventually, a man leans over and asks 'what's wrong?'
The woman replies, 'I have a very rare condition wherein every time I sneeze I orgasm.'
The man replies, 'oh why that sounds terrible! What medication are you taking for it?'
The woman smiles and replies, 'pepper'.

I got rare disease

Doctor: You have got an extremely rare disease

Me: How rare?

Doc: You pick the name.

I saw a cow spontaneously catch on fire the other day

Guess you could call it a rare experience

Waiter: And how would you like your steak prepared?

Me: Guess

Waiter: Medium rare?

Me: Well done

Waiter: Uhhh..

My wife arranged the plates by color and size...

It's a rare dish order

I hate steak jokes.

Good ones are rare.

My waiter asked me how I like my steak

So I told him i like my steak like me winning a argument with my wife.

So the waiter said rare it is

A man goes in to his doctor's for an exam and the doctor says, "Well, I have good news and bad news."

The man says, "Give me the bad news first, Doc." The doctor says, "You've got a rare form of cancer. It's incurable and you have three weeks to live." "Oh my God!" says the patient. "After that, I'm glad there's good news. What is it?" The doctor smiles and points and says, "Do you see that good looking nurse over there? Well, I'm sleeping with her."

Jokes about steaks are rare...

But they are usually well done

I rarely find cocaine jokes funny.

But occasionally, an one-liner makes me snort.

Most of the posts here are medium.

They aren't rare and they are definitely not well done.

Doctor: Mr. Stephens,I'm sorry to inform you that you have a rare disease.

Mr. Stephens: How rare?

Doctor: Would you prefer Stephens Disease or Greg Stephen's Disease for the name?

"I wish..."

"I wish I was rich.", I said while throwing a coin into a wishing well.

Reading the newspaper the next day, the front page headline was:

"Rare coin worth millions found in well"

The first mate on a ship rarely drinks

The first mate on a ship rarely drinks, but the crew threw him a party on his birthday and went out of their way to get him drunk. The next morning he woke up with a hangover, and went to the bridge. He opened the ship's log and found that the captain had written, "The first mate got drunk last night". He complained to the captain saying that it was very rare. The captain defended his entry saying that it was the truth, wasn't it? The next day the captain opened the ship's log, and the first mate had written, "The captain was able to stay sober last night."

Presidential

Jill and Joe Biden go to a steakhouse for dinner. Jill says, I will have the petite filet medium rare with a baked potato with sour cream and butter. The waiter asks, What about your vegetable? Jill replies, Oh, he will have the same.

Steak related jokes are not very common...

But when it's good, it's a rare medium well done.

My doctor told me I had a very rare disease. "What's it called," I asked?

He replied, "What do you want it to be called?"

How rare is it for a cow to be struck by lightning?

Medium rare.

Lightning striking a cow isn't a rare event

It's medium rare

Archeologists say that in very rare cases, you can experience a mummy farting in their crypt.

If you get the chance to experience this phenomena, you can call that toot uncommon.

Waiter: How would you like your steak sir?

Me: like winning an argument with my wife

Waiter: good choice, rare it is.

I love my steaks how I love my sex

Very rare

A guy who is sick goes to the doctor

The doctor says you have what we call "Tom Jones disease."

The patient says "Oh my God! I've never heard of that. Is it rare?"

The doctor says "It's not unusual."

A waitress forgot to ask a customer how he wanted his steak cooked. She returns to the table and asks him. He replies, I like my steak like I like my sex!

So the waitress turns to the kitchen and shouts, "Very rare."

What were the British Virgin Islands named for?

Having the rare privilege to not have Prince Andrew visit. Yet...

Did you know there is a very rare type of milk?

I don't know the name of it but my Dad has been looking for it for years.

A collector of rare books ran into a friend who told him he had just thrown out an old Bible that he had found in a dusty old box.

The collector's friend mentioned that Guten-somebody-or-other had printed the Bible.

"You don't mean Gutenberg?" gasped the collector.

"Yes, that was it!"

"You fool! You've thrown out one of the first books ever printed! A copy was recently auctioned off for hundreds of thousands of dollars!"

"Oh, I doubt this book would be worth even nearly as much. Some dude named Martin Luther scribbled all over the margins."

My pronouns are Rare/Medium Rare.

And if you don't use these, my feelings and mental health is at steak...

Due to an increase in popularity, koi farmers are discovering an increase in counterfeit fish.

They've begun using a lettered grading scale:

As are the most rare of purebred koi's

Bs are the more common variety purebred koi's

Cs are mix/hybrid koi's

Everything else are D koi's

A guy walks into a bar, orders a bottle of champagne and yells "Happy New Year!"

"It's not even close to midnight yet, you idiot," the bartender reprimands him. "Oh, I'm sorry. I suspect I might have a rare medical condition that makes me yell that," the guy apologizes. "I think I suffer from premature congratulations."

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the rare great rare puns are supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working rare steak so rare piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes