Rare Jokes
149 rare jokes and hilarious rare puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about rare that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Looking to add something unique and infrequently heard to your next gathering? Check out this rare collection of jokes, featuring some of the most great, unique, and unhygienic steak so rare jokes. Enjoy the unique and rare finds that you can’t get just anywhere.
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Funniest Rare Short Jokes
Short rare jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The rare humour may include short seldom jokes also.
- Why do Americans rarely tell jokes about mass shootings? Because it's always too soon.
^(i feel bad) - Most of the posts here are medium. They aren't rare and they are definitely not well done.
- The population of the countryside were almost wiped out entirely by a rare breed of ticks that live and breed inside the mouths of Alpacas. The survivors now live in a post Alpaca lip tick wasteland.
- Kanye said he is an intellectual who doesn't read books. Which I get because I am an athlete that rarely moves.
- My doctor told me I had a very rare disease. "What's it called," I asked? He replied, "What do you want it to be called?"
- The waiter asked me how I like my steak. I said rare. He said you're in luck, today's special is panda.
- Waiter: And how would you like your steak prepared? Me: Guess
Waiter: Medium rare?
Me: Well done
Waiter: Uhhh.. - Cataracts are extremely rare in Japan. Chevrorets and Rincolns, on the other hand, are quite common.
- I cooked a medium-rare steak for my friend, and he said, I like it Well Done. I said, Thanks buddy. That means a lot.
- A waiter served me some rare steak But when I told him "I like it well done", he said "thank you".
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Rare One Liners
Which rare one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with rare? I can suggest the ones about unusual and strange.
- It's very rare that a defibrillator fails. But when it happens no one is shocked.
- Sir, you've got a very rare disease Me: "How rare?"
Doctor: "You pick the name" - I asked a chef if he ever served a steak raw.. He said yeah but it's rare.
- How rare is it for a cow to be struck by lightning? Medium rare.
- I totally understand how batteries feel... I'm rarely ever included in things either.
- I know pretty well how batteries must feel I'm rarely ever included in things either.
- Why are transgender people rarely seen with their children? Because they're transparent.
- A world renowned chef undercooked the meat It was a rare misteak
- Jokes about steaks are rare... But they are usually well done
- Health insurance is rare for exotic dancers. Most strippers have little or no coverage.
- Why are steak puns so rare? Because they are never well done.
- I hate steak jokes. Good ones are rare.
- Whats the best part about dating a black girl? You rarely have to meet their dad.
- My wife arranged the plates by color and size... It's a rare dish order
- What do you call a psychic cow? Medium Rare.
Most Rare Jokes
Here is a list of funny most rare jokes and even better most rare puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Steak related jokes are not very common... But when it's good, it's a rare medium well done.
- Why is women's soccer so rare? It's quite hard to find enough women willing to wear the same outfit.
- Scientist have found a rare mutation in some goats... It's called the Billy gene and causes them to believe that the kid is not their son.
- Guy orders a steak at a restaurant. The waiter brings it out and its rare.
"Excuse me, I said well done." says the guy
"Oh sorry, I didn't hear you", says the waiter, "Thanks very much!" - I got rare disease Doctor: You have got an extremely rare disease
Me: How rare?
Doc: You pick the name. - My wife has this weird OCD where she arranges the dinner plates by the year they were bought. It's an extremely rare dish order.
- How can you tell when you play RPGs way too much? When your girlfriend's/wife's pants become a rare drop!
- Have you noticed how you rarely see Delorian's on the road anymore? Apparently their owners only drive them from Time to Time.
- How do you like your steak Waiter: How do you like your steak, sir?
Sir: Like winning an argument with my wife.
Waiter: Rare it is. - "I wish..." "I wish I was rich.", I said while throwing a coin into a wishing well.
Reading the newspaper the next day, the front page headline was:
"Rare coin worth millions found in well"
Steak So Rare Jokes
Here is a list of funny steak so rare jokes and even better steak so rare puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- I cooked for my fiancée's parents for the first time As I handed out the rarely cooked steak Harry (her father) said, "I like it well done."
I said, "Thanks, that means a lot." - Waiter: How would you like your steak sir? Me: like winning an argument with my wife
Waiter: good choice, rare it is. - Waiter: How do you like your steak cooked? Me: Like winning an argument with
my wife.
Waiter: Rare it is. - There aren't many books on how to cook steak It's a rare medium done well.
- My waiter asked me how I like my steak So I told him i like my steak like me winning a argument with my wife.
So the waiter said rare it is - A steak pun is a rare medium well done
- The waitress brought me the wrong order at Texas Road House, and I told her it was a Miss Steak. She shook her head, sighed, and told me, "Steak jokes are a rare medium well done."
- I like my work like I like my steak Rare and definitely not well done.
- Happy Steak and BJ Day! When only one should be rare and the other well done.
- According to a recent poll 9 out of 10 people have never had Steak Tartare. Apparently it's very rare.
Steak Rare Jokes
Here is a list of funny steak rare jokes and even better steak rare puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Sometimes I enjoy my steak undercooked.. ...but that's rare.
- A waiter ask a gentleman how he likes his steak cooked. Gentleman: like winning an argument with my wife.
Waiter: Rare it is then. - Steak puns are a rare medium well done. Credit to my brother. He thinks it's original, but it seems to perfect to be.
- I ordered a steak last night and it came a bit undercooked. I don't usually eat it that way.. ..But last night was a rare occasion
- I made a good video about steak in a sea of bad videos about steak... I guess you could say it's a rare example of a medium well done.
- Is it possible to get steak poisoning? Yes, but it's really rare.
- I tried looking up jokes about steak, but couldn't find any. I guess they're rare.
- At the office barbecue, I grilled a medium rare steak for my boss, and he said, I like it well done! I said, Thanks. That means a lot.
- My pronouns are Rare/Medium Rare. And if you don't use these, my feelings and mental health is at steak...
- "Two steaks please", I asked the writer. "Rare for me, medium rare for my friend." He brought us a lovely bit of panda and a nice chunk of giraffe.
Rare Steak Jokes
Here is a list of funny rare steak jokes and even better rare steak puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- I don't usually eat steak... so when I do it's quite rare.......
- A friend showed me a funny steak pun the other day. I must say, steak puns are truly a rare medium well done.
- I have never actually heard a good steak pun... But I've heard it's a rare medium well done
- My friend has become a master of making art out of steak. It is a rare medium, but well done.
- Friends are like steaks If you grill them for long enough, they become rare
- Most people have never tried steak tartare. It's extremely rare.
- How do cats like their steak joke? Rare
P.S.
Rare sounds like a cat meowing. Get it? - My local newspaper ran a story on the decrease of cow psychics. It was called "Steak Medium Rare"
- Texas is a lot like India Steaks are rare
- Why are Good steaks hard to find? Because it's a rare medium well done.
Great Rare Jokes
Here is a list of funny great rare jokes and even better great rare puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- eBay is great for finding rare items, but there is a lot of bad search results that come with it For example, I did a search for "Vintage Zippo Lighters" and I got 10,000 matches.
- I heard a great segment on AM radio today... It was a rare medium, well done.
- People often talk about how h**... was a failed artist… But they rarely give him credit for being a great art collector.
Hilarious Rare Jokes for a Fun-Filled Night with Friends
What funny jokes about rare you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean precious jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make rare pranks.
I've been diagnosed with a rare condition that makes me think I'm an airport building.
Hope it's not terminal.
My grandma died after eating too many gingerbread houses last night...
The doctors diagnosed her with a rare case of "munch-housing-syndrom"
A man goes to the doctor ...
... and says "Doctor, I'm having a really strange problem. I can't get the song *What's New, p**...* out of my head.
Doctor says, "Well, it sounds like you may have Tom Jones' Disease."
The man opens his eyes wide. "I never heard of that before," he said. "Is it rare?"
Doctor shakes his head. "It's not unusual."
A man and a woman go out to dinner...
This is during the time the Mad Cow disease ravished Britain. A man and a woman are sitting at a table when the waiter approaches them, asking "what would you like for dinner?"
The man replies, I'll have a fat juicy steak, medium rare with all the trimmings. Gravy and roast potatoes please. The waiter asks "what about the mad cow?"
To which the man replies
"Nahh she'll just have fish"
An Arab Sheik was admitted to Hospital for heart surgery.
But prior to the surgery, the doctors needed to store his blood in case a need arose.
As the gentleman had a rare type of blood, it couldn't be found locally, so the call went out.
Finally a Scotsman was located who had a similar blood type. The Scot willingly donated his blood for the Arab.
After the surgery, the Arab sent the Scotsman as appreciation for giving his blood, a new BMW motorcycle, diamonds and a substantial sum of money.
A couple of days later, the Arab had to go through a corrective surgery.
His doctor telephoned the Scotsman who was more than happy to donate his blood again.
After the second surgery, the Arab sent the Scotsman a thank-you card and a box of Quality Street chocolates.
The Scotsman was shocked that the Arab did not reciprocate his kind gesture as he had anticipated.
He phoned the Arab and asked him: "I thought you would be generous again, that you would give me another motorcycle, diamonds & money... but you only gave me a thank-you card & a box of Quality Street chocolates."
To this the Arab replied: "Aye laddie, but I now have Scottish blood in ma veins".
Tom Jones Syndrome
A woman goes to a doctor's office to get results back from a test she took a few weeks ago. The doctor sits her down and tells her "You have TJS, Tom Jones Syndrome." The woman, scared, asks "Is it rare?" and the doctor replies "It's not unusual"
A man goes to his doctor
"Doc, you gotta help me. I can't stop singing What's New p**...."
"Oh, that sounds like Tom Jones Syndrome," said the doctor.
"Tom Jones Syndrome? Is that rare?"
"It's not unusual."
Tom Jones' Disease
A Man goes to the Doctor and lays out his problems. He says whenever he sees a cat he yells "What's New, p**...?"
If he sees a woman while on the street, he exclaims "She's A Lady!" which is really driving his wife crazy.
And speaking of his wife he keeps calling her Delilah, when her name is Susan!
The doctor says "Considering your symptoms, it sounds like you have Tom Jones' Disease"
"Tom Jones' Disease? I've never heard of that! Is it rare?"
"It's not unusual"
Did you hear about that psychic who performed self-immolation in public today?
It's rare to see a medium well done.
John Snow.
John Snow was at a bar outside the great wall drinking. A beautiful girl comes inside and her eyes meet his. She likes him, so she goes and introduce herself.
-Hello, handsome. My name is Jenny Spring. What's yours?
John laughs and continues with his drink.
-Why is this funny?
John responds,
-Nothing. I just imagine how rare it would be to have 7 inches of Snow in spring...
A woman goes to the doctor due to some distressing symptoms.
She tells him she can't stop dancing and crooning ballads.
Ma'am, you have Tom Jones syndrome he says.
Oh no! Is it rare? She asks.
Well, it's not unusual....
I went out for a nice meal one day when the waiter asked...
"How would you like your steak, sir?" "The same way I like my s**...," I replied. He smiled and said, "So, rare?"
Why are clairvoyants called mediums?
Because they're not rare or well done.
A student wants to know how he did on a test
Student: I know my curved score was a 90, but how was my raw score?
Teacher: Medium rare
Student: What does that mean?
Teacher: Not well done.
" doctor I can't stop singing What's New p**...."
" I think you might have Tom Jones syndrome."
" is it rare?" " it's not unusual."
Why is television called a medium?
Because it isn't rare and is never quite well done
A guy says, ...
A guy says, "Help me, doctor, I can't stop singing What's new p**...?"
The doctor says, "Oh no, you may have Tom Jones disease."
Guy says, "I've never heard of that. Is it rare?"
The doctor says, "It's not unusual."
You guys hear the rare joke about the butter?
I would tell you but you might spread it...
I like my s**... how I like my steak
rare
It's Trump's wedding anniversary in a few days and in a rare tender moment, he described the first time he ever laid eyes on Melania...
..and clicked 'add to cart'
TIL in France it's rare for people to have more than one egg for breakfast
It turns out that in France one egg is un oeuf.
"You have a very rare and extremely contagious condition"
the doctor told his patient.
"We're going to have to put you in an isolation unit where you'll be on a diet of pancakes and pizza."
"Will the pancakes and pizza cure my condition?" asked the patient.
"No," replied the doctor.
"They're the only things we can slip under the door."
Got my wife with the greatest dadjoke yet
She was talking about something and I got the rare chance to interrupt her by saying "Hi leaving and taking the kids due to these s**... jokes, I'm dad!"
When I reach home, my 1.5 year old son rushes out to the gate..
..to sit in my lap while I park the car. Then he just grabs the steering and starts shaking it with brrrrrmmm brrrrmmm sound. His cute antics always me forget that he is suffering from a rare disease ...It's called Parking son's disease.
I was digging up our garden when I found a box full of old rare coins. I was really excited so I ran inside to tell my wife about it.
Then I remembered why I was digging up our garden.
I had a rare condition growing up where I had to eat dirt 3 times a day.
Thankfully my brother told me, I could have died.
So on a flight, there is a woman who is sneezing.
Now see, this woman is sneezing very vigorously. Eventually, a man leans over and asks 'what's wrong?'
The woman replies, 'I have a very rare condition wherein every time I sneeze I o**....'
The man replies, 'oh why that sounds terrible! What medication are you taking for it?'
The woman smiles and replies, 'pepper'.
p**... took two stuffed dogs to the Antiques Roadshow
"Ooh!" said thew presenter, "This is a rare breed, do you have any idea what they would fetch if they were in good condition?"
"Sticks." replied p**....
I saw a cow spontaneously catch on fire the other day
Guess you could call it a rare experience
It is very rare for a defibrillator to fail.
When it happens, though, nobody is shocked.
I took my wife to a restaurant..
The waiter, for some reason, took my order first. "I'll have the s**... steak, medium rare, please."
He said, "Aren't you worried about the mad cow?"
"Nah, she can order for herself."
A man goes in to his doctor's for an exam and the doctor says, "Well, I have good news and bad news."
The man says, "Give me the bad news first, Doc." The doctor says, "You've got a rare form of cancer. It's incurable and you have three weeks to live." "Oh my God!" says the patient. "After that, I'm glad there's good news. What is it?" The doctor smiles and points and says, "Do you see that good looking nurse over there? Well, I'm sleeping with her."
Jokes about white sugar are rare enough, but jokes about brown sugar?
Demerara
I rarely find c**... jokes funny.
But occasionally, an one-liner makes me snort.
Doctor: Mr. Stephens,I'm sorry to inform you that you have a rare disease.
Mr. Stephens: How rare?
Doctor: Would you prefer Stephens Disease or Greg Stephen's Disease for the name?
Doctor: Well sir, I have some bad news... You have a very rare disease.
Parient: How rare is it?
Doctor: You get to pick a name.
The first mate on a ship rarely drinks
The first mate on a ship rarely drinks, but the crew threw him a party on his birthday and went out of their way to get him drunk. The next morning he woke up with a hangover, and went to the bridge. He opened the ship's log and found that the captain had written, "The first mate got drunk last night". He complained to the captain saying that it was very rare. The captain defended his entry saying that it was the truth, wasn't it? The next day the captain opened the ship's log, and the first mate had written, "The captain was able to stay sober last night."
Presidential
Jill and Joe Biden go to a steakhouse for dinner. Jill says, I will have the petite filet medium rare with a baked potato with sour cream and butter. The waiter asks, What about your vegetable? Jill replies, Oh, he will have the same.
I suffer from a rare form of kleptomania that causes me to steal people kitchen utensils.
it's just a whisk I'm willing to take.
What's the rarest category on Jeopardy?
Contestants with southern accents
Lightning striking a cow isn't a rare event
It's medium rare
Archeologists say that in very rare cases, you can experience a mummy f**... in their crypt.
If you get the chance to experience this phenomena, you can call that toot uncommon.
I love my steaks how I love my s**...
Very rare
A guy who is sick goes to the doctor
The doctor says you have what we call "Tom Jones disease."
The patient says "Oh my God! I've never heard of that. Is it rare?"
The doctor says "It's not unusual."
A waitress forgot to ask a customer how he wanted his steak cooked. She returns to the table and asks him. He replies, I like my steak like I like my s**...!
So the waitress turns to the kitchen and shouts, "Very rare."
Did you know there is a very rare type of milk?
I don't know the name of it but my Dad has been looking for it for years.
A collector of rare books ran into a friend who told him he had just thrown out an old Bible that he had found in a dusty old box.
The collector's friend mentioned that Guten-somebody-or-other had printed the Bible.
"You don't mean Gutenberg?" gasped the collector.
"Yes, that was it!"
"You fool! You've thrown out one of the first books ever printed! A copy was recently auctioned off for hundreds of thousands of dollars!"
"Oh, I doubt this book would be worth even nearly as much. Some dude named Martin Luther scribbled all over the margins."