The Best 90 Rapist Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Rapist jokes. There are some rapist therapist jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these rapist paedophile puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Rapist Jokes and Puns

How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb?

Only a rapist would think the violation of a light socket by a foreign object is a matter to make jokes about.

What do you call a prepubescent rapist?

... a smooth criminal.

Two rapists

Two guys are driving a car when they are stopped by the police. The guy opens his window and asks what's going on. The police: "We are looking for two rapists." The guy closes his window and the police sees the two guys discussing and making gestures. Finally the guy opens his window again: "Okay, we're in."

Rapist joke, Two rapists

Why do rapists make such great salesmen?

They don't take no for an answer.

My classic blasphemy joke in honor of the occasion...

A priest, a pedophile and a rapist walk into a bar.

He sits down and orders a drink.

if men fall asleep directly after sex . . .

why is it so hard to catch a rapist?

-Jimmy Carr

p.s. never high five a rabbi

The only reason I ever get any women is because of who I am

A rapist.

Rapist joke, The only reason I ever get any women is because of who I am

What did the rapist say to his therapist?

I need my space.

A greedy man, a rapist, and an alcoholic...

A greedy man, a rapist, and an alcoholic meet a genie. The genie says to them, "If you can resist your urges I will grant you each one wish. But should you fail, you will disappear" The three men agreed and tried to go a full day without alcohol, rape, and theft. The alcoholic's wife leaves him so he takes a drink, then he disappears. Later the greedy man is on the bus and a lady drops a dollar. The man bends down to keep it, and the rapist disappears.

How to make girls feel safe in the hallways

I often find myself walking behind various girls while I'm going about my day and I'm always concerned I'm making them feel unsafe. So I like to remind myself not to walk like a rapist.

I find this works much better if I don't say it out loud.

Could be taken as racist, or insecure (maybe both)

What do you call a immigrant fighting a rapist. "Alien versus predator"

You can explore rapist evil reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean rapist robber dad jokes. There are also rapist puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.

A priest, rapist and pedophile enter a bar.

^^^A ^^^priest, ^^^rapist ^^^and ^^^pedophile ^^^enter ^^^a ^^^bar.

He orders a beer.

I only get laid because of who I am...

A rapist!

Priest, pedophile and rapist enters a bar...

Then he sits down and orders a drink.

That awkward moment when a rapist picks up a hitchhiking serial killer...

Killer: "Turn down that dark road down there."

Rapist: "I was planning on it..."

So a rapist picks up a hitchhiking serial killer

Killer: "Turn down that dark road."

Rapist: "I was planning on it..."

Edit - Thank you magnificent stranger for gold!

Rapist joke, So a rapist picks up a hitchhiking serial killer

What do you call a Russian rapist? Gedin Mavanyabitch

Ain't therapy great?

He yawns, but doesn't seem bored,

If you think of his bill, you are poor,

If you're feeling blue,

and want to get screwed,

"The Rapist" -it's there on his door.

Grandpa walks into a drug store

Grandpa: "I'd like to buy 99 condoms."

Clerk: "Why don't you take 100?"

Grandpa: "Hey, hey! I'm not a rapist!"

An identity thief and a rapist get convicted in a poor town...

The judge decides that the best punishment is to tie them up in a courtyard and for $5 you can punch the identity thief so he can never use his charm to con again, or for $10 you can kick the rapist in the nuts. The police officer in charge of this spots a girl kick the identity thief in the nuts and says, "Hey! You can't do that!" The girl asks, "Why not?" And the cop says, "Because this is the punchline."

A rapist, paedophile and priest enter a bar.

He orders a beer.

A man goes to the library and asks for the book "Psycho the Rapist"..

The librarian slaps him and says it's "Psychotherapist"!

A rapist, a carpenter, and Alexander the Great walk into a bar

They came, they saw, they conquered

I was at a party and this girl said "I always wondered if I am strong enough to fight off a rapist."

Well she's not.

How many rapists can you fit in a barrel?

Doesn't matter, they'll force themselves in anyways...

Ellen Pao, a rapist and a pedophile walk into a bar.

Supa Hot Fire was recently arrested on charges of sexual assault.

But he's not a rapist.

A pothead, a rapist and a dog killer walk into a bar.

The Steelers must be in town.

A comedian, a rapist, and the President of the United States are in an elevator ..

and then Barack says to the other guy "Always liked you most in The Cosby Show".

What do a Professional Fifa Player and a Rapist have in common?

They're both going to score, even if you don't want them to.

I hate it when people want to argue over the use and meaning of words. For example, I like to think of myself as a "ladies man."

But the jury preferred the term "rapist."

What's the difference between a peeping tom and a rapist?

A rapist doesn't waste time beating around the bush

I love to be tied up and dominated during sex.

However, it makes being a rapist incredibly difficult.

What do you call a rapist that can't swim?

Brock Turner.

Why therapist always have a tiny office?

Because if you give them too much space, they will become the rapist.

Anyone hear of the rapist mechanic?

They say he screws, nuts, and bolts.

Did you know that 8 out of 10 women kiss with their eyes closed

That's why it's so hard to identify the rapist. - Jimmy Carr.

So a priest, a pedophile and rapist walk into a bar

...he orders a drink

Dark humor


Donald Trump, a white worker , and a Mexican worker are sitting at a table.

A waiter comes over carrying 10 cookies on a plate. Before the waiter even gets a chance to set the plate on the table, Donald Trump reaches over and takes 9 cookies and stuffs them in his pocket. He then leans over to the white worker and says "watch out, that rapist is looking at your cookie."

Why do I watch the Cosby show?

I enjoy dark humour.

Yes, this was both a rapist and racial joke.

Which rapist was a famous mathematician?

Bill cos(b)

A rapists favorite day is opposite day...

Because no means yes.

A homicidal rapist is holding hands with a little girl.

They are walking through a dense and eerie forest at night. Sounds of owls, wolves and other animals echos around. "This place is really scary sir" says the girl. The man looks around. The sound of wolves send chills down he's spine. He looks at the girl and says: "Yeah. Imagine me that I have to return by myself".

A rapist, a con-artist and a fascist walk into a bar...

The bartender says 'What'll it be Mr President?'

Bill Clinton is not a rapist.

He just likes to "feel your pain".

A rapist, a businessman and a Russian spy walk into a bar

The bartender says: "what may I get for you Mr. President?

A priest, a child molester, and a rapist walk into a bar...

He sits down and has a drink

A priest, a paedophile and a rapist walk into a bar

And that was just the first guy

"Do unto others as you would have them do unto you,"

said the rapist.

A rapist talked to a priest in prison and asked.

"how old"

What shoes does a rapist wear?

White vans.

If a serial rapist wrote a book, what would the title be?


What's the difference between a rapist and a Republican?

Hollywood won't work with a Republican.

"Stop, I have aids!" Lied the woman.

"So do I!" Said the rapist.

What's the motto of an undertaker who is a rapist and a necrophiliac?

You rape what you sew

A pedophile, a rapist, and a gay man walks into a bar...

The bartender says, "What'll ya have, Mr. Spacey?"

When a serial rapist started targeting nuns, one company started marketing armored robes with the tagline:

"It's a hard habit to break."

I heard he got caught but got off easy

I just read a news article with the headline "Woman beats off rapist!" and I thought... "Well... that seems like a reasonable compromise..."

A rapist, a sexist and a racist walk into a bar

Barman: How can I help you Mr. President?

A man walks inside a library..

And ask librarian for a book named "Psyco The Rapist". Librarian told him they have no such book.

After a while man returns with abbook in his hand and slams it in front of librarian and said "What is this then?".

Librarian picks up the book and reads the title "Psychotherapist".

My father always told me son if you want to succeed in life never take no for an answer

Terrible father, great rapist

what do you call a creepy therapist ?

the rapist

A rapist, a bigot, and a pathological liar walk into a bar.

The bartender says, "What'll you have, Mr. President?"

A rape victim went to see a Psychotherapist. She left the building running and screaming before her session.

The sign on the door said;




Okay, why would the mitochondria be a good prison rapist?

Because the mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell.

A serial rapist was caught and put on trial

and the prosecutor asked the rapist "What inspired you to do what you did?"

He replied, "Your honor, I couldn't have raped those women because I am gay!"

A look of relief spread across the judge's face and he leaned back contently in his chair... "Finally, some biblical justification to punish you!"

You'll never look at the word therapist the same way again.


The Rapist.

A Serial killer picks up a Rapist hitchhiking...

"*Hey, drop me off in that.....Dark alley right there....*"

"*.....I was planning on it.....*"

What do you call a group of rapist pirates?

A gangplank.

Did you hear the one about the Irish rapist?

He began by tying the girl's legs together so she couldn't run away....

I told my husband to shave because he looks like a rapist.

Now he looks like an undercover rapist.

What did the opera singer say to the rapist?


I was getting raped last night and I kept calling for help.

Unfortunately, the only person the came was the rapist.

Why did the therapist get arrested when he went to space?

Because he turned into the rapist.

What did the apologetic rapist say to the virgin.

I'm sorry for taking your virginity, it won't happen again.

A therapist should not help treat victims of rape.


"Isn't it obvious? It's in their name. They're the rapist.

What alienates a rapist the most?

"Is it in?"

My local police station were looking for a rapist

I gave them my resume but they didn't accept me

A preist, a paedophile, a tax evader and a rapist walk into a bar.

He orders a drink.

A clown, rapist and a president walk into a bar….

He orders a drink.

What to you call a rice crispy treat with a musical career and multiple sexual assault cases?

A wrapped cereal serial rapist rapper.

What's the difference between a rapist and a golfer

The golfer stops after the eighteenth hole

A young boy named Jim with suspected mental illness was due to visit a psychotherapist but he seemed very uncomfortable with the whole idea. Finally his mother convinced him to go. Upon arrival the young boy was greeted Hello Jim, do you know who I am? ...

Jim replied.. Of course I do, your Psycho The Rapist!

What do pirates call a rapist?

Arrr Kelly

A rapist and con artist gets caught by the sheriff in a small town.

But he gets released because sitting presidents can't be indicted.

So a senile old man, an alleged rapist, and a neoliberal ghoul walk into a bar.

The bartender says "im sorry Mr. Biden, we are closed due to the coronavirus"

What's the difference between "therapist" and "the rapist"?

Just a little space.

A Conman, Moron and Rapist walks into a Bar

Bartender asks What would you like, Mr. President?

A rapist, a plagiarist, and a cult member walk into a bar...

Oh wait, I meant the Supreme Court.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the rapist rape jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working rapist conman piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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