Ransom Note Jokes
8 ransom note jokes and hilarious ransom note puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about ransom note that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Ransom Note Funny Jokes to Tell Your Friends and Kids.
What is a good ransom note joke to make people laugh? Check out this list of funny stories that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth.
What type of writing makes the most money?
Ransom notes.
What has one finger and is very demanding?
A ransom note.
What has 1 thumb and is very important?
A ransom note.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A man goes to confession and says...
"forgive me father, for I have sinned."
"What have you done my child?" asked the priest.
"I kidnapped a little boy, and sent the family a ransom note." he told the priest.
"Why don't you just return the boy?" asked the priest.
"Because the cops are swarming all over the apartment where he lives!" answered the man.
"Why not leave him outside in an alley, so he can go home himself?" asked the priest.
"Because he lives in a very seedy part of town, and I don't want him getting r**... by one of the sickos outside." declared the man.
"Well" said the priest "I was going to offer to take the boy home, but now I don't think you would approve".
Blonde kidnapper
There was a blonde woman who was having financial troubles, so she decided to kidnap a child and demand a ransom. She went to a local park, grabbed a little boy, took him behind a tree and wrote this note:
I have kidnapped your child. Leave $10,000 in a plain brown bag
behind the big oak tree in the park tomorrow by 7 AM.
Signed - "The Blonde"
She pinned the note inside the boy's jacket and told him to go straight home.
The next morning, she returned to the park to find the $10,000 in
a brown bag, behind the big oak tree, just as she had instructed. Also
inside the bag was the following note:
"Here is your money. I cannot believe that one blonde would do
this to another."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Washington D.C. was in complete gridlock...
As I stewed in traffic wondering what was causing it, a guy comes up and knocks on my window.
"What's it all about?" I ask.
"You haven't heard? President Trump has been kidnapped. It's all over the news! The ransom note says we either deliver a billion dollars or they are going to cover him with gas and burn him alive. I'm out here taking up a collection to help."
"Oh, God." I said. "Of course I'm willing to help. Anything. How much have you got so far?"
"About six gallons." He said.
Blonde Betrayal
A Blonde was down on her luck. In order to raise some money, she decided to kidnap a kid and hold him for ransom.
She went to the playground, grabbed a kid, took him behind a tree, and told him, "I`ve kidnapped you."
She then wrote a note saying, "I`ve kidnapped your kid. Tomorrow morning, put $10,000 in a paper bag and put it under the pecan tree next to the slide on the north side of the playground. Signed, Blonde."
The Blonde then taped the note to the kid`s shirt and sent him home to show it to his parents.
The next morning the blonde checked, and sure enough, a paper bag was sitting beneath the pecan tree.
The blonde opened the bag and found the $10,000 with a note that said, "How could you do this to a fellow Blonde?"
A blonde, out of money, and down on her luck after buying air at a real bargain, needed money desperately. To raise cash, she decided to kidnap a child and hold him for ransom.
She went to the local playground, grabbed a kid randomly, took her behind a building, and told her, "I've kidnapped you."
She then wrote a big note saying, "I've kidnapped your kid. Tomorrow morning, put $10,000 in a paper bag and leave it under the apple tree next to the slides, on the south side of the playground. Signed, A blonde."
The blonde then pinned the note to the kid's shirt and sent him home to show it to his parents. The next morning, the blonde checked, and sure enough, a paper bag was sitting beneath the apple tree. The blonde looked in the bag and found the $10,000 with a note that said, "How could you do this to a fellow blonde?"
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