The Best 32 Rank Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Rank jokes. There are some rank maximus jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these rank battalion puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Rank Jokes and Puns

How can you spot the rank of a Russian?

By the stripes on his Adidas jumpsuit.

I asked the Colonel what the lowest rank in the army was.

He said, "It's Private."

I said, "Come on, you can tell me."

My friend asked why I wouldn't tell him my military rank.

I told him it's Private.

Rank joke, My friend asked why I wouldn't tell him my military rank.

What military rank do you hold while using a pay toilet?


Scientists claim that after man dolphins rank 2nd in intelligence..

After that comes apes, then some species of parrots.

I guess that pushes women down to 5th.

Top 10 most important sciences

10. It is

9. impossible

8. to rank

7. the importance

6. of science

5. because

4. all of them

3. are equally

2. important.

1. Physics

I have ranked the greatest musicians of all time in order:


Erika Badu

Vanilla Ice



Green Day



Nine inch Nails


George Strait

Ilene Woods

Vince Gill


Yoko ono

Otis Redding


Uncle Kracker

Pappa Roach

It is okay if you disagree just let me know, but first read the first letter of each line only.

Rank joke, I have ranked the greatest musicians of all time in order:

Where does the Navy rank amongst the armed forces?


My chemistry teacher asked me a question in class.

She told to me to rank all the bonds.

So I did.

1) Connery

2) Craig

3) Brosnan

4) Dalton

5) Lazenby

She sent me outside the class. I still wonder if there were any Moore?

A man in the army walks up to the General's office...

A man in the army walks up to the General's office and knocks. The General says "Come in". The man enters the office, salutes at the General, and says "Sir, I'd like you to demote me from my rank, all the soldiers make fun of me!"

"Sorry, but demotion is not something we carry out in the army, Major Failure"

What is the lowest and youngest rank of child-soldiers?


You can explore rank grade reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean rank tier dad jokes. There are also rank puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.

I got speaking to a soldier the other day

I was interested in his story so I asked him what his rank was but apparently it's a secret; he said it was Private.

Top 10 most aggressive dog breeds

10: You

9: can't

8: Rank

7: Dog breeds

6: Based on

5: Their aggressiveness

4: As every

3: Dog breed

2: Is different.

1: Chihuahuas

What's the highest rank in the popcorn army?


Who Has The Highest Rank in the Linux Military?

The kernel.

How can you tell what rank a Russian soldier is?

Count the stripes on his track pants.

Rank joke, How can you tell what rank a Russian soldier is?

A guy asks another guy about military ranks

Guy 1: So remind me, what is the lowest rank in the army again?

Guy 2: It's private

Guy: Ok never mind

What rank does Corn have in the Vegetable Army?


I just thought of that while eating popcorn, I hope this hasnt been already posted.

If Bernie gets elected we should give him an honorary military rank.

Colonel sounds right to me.

What do you call a man who invents "PageRank"?

Larry Page ..go figure? (True Story)

These days, they expect those who join the military to go up in rank quickly.

I think they're just generalizing.

My Chemistry homework is asking me to rank the bonds by relative strength.

Could Pierce Brosnan or Daniel Craig beat Sean Connery in a fight?

What do you call a low rank crusader (or European idc)?

A euroPEON

Kill me pls

What rank are you in the bathroom?

A loo-tenant

I'm ranked 2nd in the world at coin flipping...

It was a real toss up for 1st place πŸ˜‰

What do you call promoting a broom to the highest rank in the military?

A Sweeping Generalization.

I'm trying to find out what the lowest rank in the army is

But everyone keeps saying it's private

What do you call the highest rank in the vegie insurgency?

Cornel. What I'm Bean serious

I was going to rank Green Day's albums from best to worst.

Then I realized they already made them in order.

How would you rank your day yesterday?

Mine was 10/10.

I think Bernie would win for sure if he had served in the military and reached the rank of Colonel

And he would be sure to get the black vote.

If clowns smell funny...

Do generals smell rank?

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the rank possess jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working rank soldier piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes