Random Kid Jokes
10 random kid jokes and hilarious random kid puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about random kid that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Random Kid Funny Jokes to Tell Your Friends and Kids.
What is a good random kid joke to make people laugh? Check out this list of funny stories that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth.
If I were a girl,
every Father's Day, I'd text an ex-boyfriend "Happy 'You-might-be-the-Father's Day." along with a picture of a random kid.
a joke my teacher made in class
teacher:"(generic kid name) this is the forth time i have warned you!"
kid:"did you count how many times you warned me?"
teacher:"no, i just pick a random number and it sounds logical"
this was funnier in class and in Hebrew, i don't expect it to do good here.
The shortest Dad Joke in the world.
Driving down a country road with your kids in the back seat, point at a stack of hay bales on some random farm and exclaim:
># Hey!
A blind kid named Stevie just changed schools...
And he was thinking about his old friends. Since he was blind, he never got to look at his friend, James, and he randomly thought, "Was James brown?"
After a little while, he realised he left before his friend, Marvin, came out and so he thought "Was Marvin gay?"
Needles to say, these questions really made Stevie wonder.
Putting quotation marks around random words in sentences
So I got up today after a "long" nights sleep, got dressed, and "woke up my kid".
Translated version
The math teacher was new to the elementary class so he just wanted to know how good are the kids in basic calculation. He picked a random student and started asking questions.
Math teacher : What's 2+2?
The kid opens 2 fingers in both his hands and counts and says "4 sir."
Math teacher : What's 4+3?
The kid opens 4 fingers in one hand and 3 in the other, counts and says "7 sir."
Math teacher wanted the kids to start doing the calculations in mind so he asked the kid to keep his hands inside the pockets of his shorts and answer his next question.
Kid does as the teacher says.
Math teacher : What's 5+5?
The kid opens his fingers in his pocket and starts to count and answers "11 sir".
A Blonde hard up for cash kidnaps a kid at the park.
She writes a random note:
I have your son. If you want to see him again, tonight leave a bag with $500 under a park bench by the pond.
PS. No cops!
- Blonde.
Realizing that she has no idea where to send it and not wanting to expose herself in the first place, she smartly sends the kid home to deliver her menacing missive.
The following morning she arrives at the designated bench and underneath finds a bag with the money and a note:
How could you do this to your fellow Blonde???
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
So, an elementary teacher in Chicago is on her first day at the job...
To get to know her students, she asks "Hey, which of you guys love the White Sox?" and everyone but one of her students exitedly raises their hands.
So she asks the single student why he doesn't love the White Sox. And the kid replies "Uh, I dunno... my mother was a cheerleader for the Cubs, and my dad played for them, and they met that way... so, of course I love them?".
And the teacher says "Oh. But you don't have to love a team because of your parents. If your father was a random p**... and your mother was some crack-w**...?".
"I guess then I'd be a White Sox fan...".
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Philosophy 112, or the joke that I just told in a dream and have to write down for posterity
Take this guy, Bob. He's coming into his early 40s, and goes into a midlife crisis. He tells his wife he wants to go back to school and study all the stuff he never got to when he was working so hard as a kid. She's fully supportive, feeling there are worse things he could be doing in this phase of his life, and they get him enrolled at a local university.
Bob starts taking random b**... classes. His first semester he takes Archaeology 101, Sociology 102, and his favorite, Philosophy 112: History of early modern philosophy. He starts learning about all the great thinkers who laid the groundwork for all of our thinking today, and he just falls in love with it. Doesn't care he's surrounded by 18 year olds for six hours a week, he just dives right in.
One day, his buddy Jim calls him up to talk. Jim's also going through a midlife crisis. He's doing a much more destructive path, however. He calls Bob up and tells him he knows of an excellent e**... service. He says they should take a "business trip," have a little fun, the wife doesn't need to know.
Bob thinks about it, and says, "No, I've got a huge philosophy paper due in a couple days and I should work on that."
Jim looks at him like he's insane, calls him a p**..., and storms away. But Bob is confident.
Bob knows that sometimes, it's good to put Descartes before the w**....
A blonde, out of money, and down on her luck after buying air at a real bargain, needed money desperately. To raise cash, she decided to kidnap a child and hold him for ransom.
She went to the local playground, grabbed a kid randomly, took her behind a building, and told her, "I've kidnapped you."
She then wrote a big note saying, "I've kidnapped your kid. Tomorrow morning, put $10,000 in a paper bag and leave it under the apple tree next to the slides, on the south side of the playground. Signed, A blonde."
The blonde then pinned the note to the kid's shirt and sent him home to show it to his parents. The next morning, the blonde checked, and sure enough, a paper bag was sitting beneath the apple tree. The blonde looked in the bag and found the $10,000 with a note that said, "How could you do this to a fellow blonde?"
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