Rally Jokes
72 rally jokes and hilarious rally puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about rally that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
From pep rally jokes to car rally jokes and jokes about rally drivers, this article has it all! Get ready to laugh as you find out how different kinds of rallies – from DNC demonstrations to protest rallies – can make for some hilarious jokes.
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Funniest Rally Short Jokes
Short rally jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The rally humour may include short parade jokes also.
- At a recent rally, somebody threw a beer at Trump's head... He's fine. It was a draft, so he dodged it.
- If Donald Trump wants Bernie Sanders supporters to stop crashing his rallies, he should just call them "job fairs."
- I rallied the kids and we all secretly did house work while Mom was out running errands It was a cleandestine operation.
- CNN says that Trumpists have been falling asleep at Trump rallies lately Trump says it's all just fake snooze.
Credit where credit is due I stole this from YouTube comments. - Chuck Noris went to a feminist rally... He came back with his shirt ironed, holding a sandwich.
- I got beat up at a black lives matter rally for complaining about my underwear These knickers where just making me so uncomfortable
- At a rally today Donald Trump ordered the secret service to remove a crying baby. They had him halfway to the curb before realizing the error.
- When I lay down to go to sleep, I watch Hillary Clinton rallies It is much more convenient than counting sheep individually.
- A fathom is a unit of measure equal to 6 feet Therefore, a cluster of rally attendees not practicing social distancing could be deemed "unfathomable"
- What's the worst thing to hear at an antivax rally? "He's having a heart attack! Is anyone here a doctor?"
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Rally One Liners
Which rally one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with rally? I can suggest the ones about protest and raid.
- What has 80 feet, 137 teeth and $72 in cash? The front row of a Trump rally
- How did Elmer Fudds anti-black rally go? It was all white
- How do you instantly break up an anti-quarantine rally? Cough.
- Hey, i'm proud of my heritage that's why sometimes, I don't even wear my hood at rallies.
- Why did the biker decline an invitation to the rally? He was just two tired.
- What do you call a white supremacist at a BLM rally? An ambulance.
- What do vegan white nationalists chant at rallies? Sieg-Kale, Sieg-Kale!
- An anti-vax rally ended earlier today... ...Due to an outbreak of the measles
- Why did the dyslexic man get thrown out of the Texas Republican rally? TAXES!!!
- There was a massive social anxiety awareness rally recently Nobody showed up
- What did Matthew McConaughey see at the Trump rally? All white, all white, all white
- What kind of speech system does Trump use at his rallies? Hate-to-Speech
- Slogan for those on the fence at a rally. FU_ _ the Police
- Why are movies about rally car races so captivating? There's a lot of suspension.
- What did the javelin thrower say at the pep rally? SPIRIT!!!!
Rally Driver Jokes
Here is a list of funny rally driver jokes and even better rally driver puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- A dating ad Ex rally driver is looking to meet a curvy woman.
- A rally driver was asked if he was still coming to the party. He said "Off-course"!
Cheerful Rally Jokes for Unforgettable Laughter with Friends!
What funny jokes about rally you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean festival jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make rally pranks.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A local women's activist group has started a rally to end v**... i**......
...now that is something I can get behind.
What's the difference between a religious revival and a bikers rally?
At a religious revival, they say "STAND UP FOR JESUS"
At a bikers rally, they say "SIT DOWN FOR CHRIST'S SAKE"
Lenin, Stalin, Khrushchev, Brezhnev and Gorbachev are sitting together on a train...
The train breaks down. Lenin tries to rally the workers to work together and get the train running again. When that fails, Stalin lines up all the workers and shoots them. When that doesn't help, Khrushchev tries to reform the workers back to life. When that also fails, Brezhnev pulls down all the curtains in the rail car and says "let's just pretend the train is moving."
After sitting in the dark for a while, Gorbachev breaks the silence and says "Hey, any of you guys wanna pick up some McDonalds?"
George Bush swears he sees Moses in the crowd at a rally....
.....and he doesn't want to miss the opportunity to meet such a well-known biblical celebrity.
He yells at him, "Sir, you look a lot like a man from the old testament. Are you Moses?" Looking around, the man slowly shakes his head side to side denying the gesture. Bush is not convinced.. one more time he asks, "Sir, I don't see the need to lie to me; are you Moses?" Once again, a back and forth shaking of his head. Bush tells his security detail to interrogate him.
His lead security agent asks the man in complete confidence, "The beard, the cloak, the staff, the wrinkled skin... you look exactly like Moses." Moses replies, "Because I am."
Confused, the security agent asks, "Why didn't you just tell the president that then? What harm could it have caused?" As a matter of factly, Moses replies, "The last time I talked to a Bush, I was stranded in a desert for 40 years."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Chant at a pro-s**... consent rally.
"What do we want?"
*-- Consensual i**...!*
"When do we want it?"
*-- Not right now!*
I'm sweating like an anti-penne rally...
Dad tells his son to vacuum
*hears son lazily vacuuming *
dad:do it properly, if I wanted to hear loud noises but nothing being done I'd go to a feminist rally
Sarah Palin and Donald Trump served PB&J sandwiches at his last political rally
because if you go to one of those, you're not allergic to nuts
Don't forget to wear sunscreen if you go to an outdoor Bernie rally
Or else you'll be peeling the burn.
Was there a good turnout at the Bernie Sanders rally?
There were a lot of people, but I wouldn't say it was super pac'd.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What's more useless than a c**... at a feminist rally?
Everyone there.
Dr. Jill Stein scheduled a rally at a Starbucks but it had to be cancelled
her supporters were afraid of the free wifi
I went to an Anti- Abortion rally...
Their slogan was "our movement is unstoppable, they will never defetus"
The moon landings looked more realistic than Hillary's rally last week.
And those were faked with 1960s technology.
I went to a High School pep rally....
The principal had announced earlier that day that he would make an inspirational speech for us. At the rally, he walked up to the microphone for his speech. But, all he did was look at the crowd, smiled, and stepped down.
We were left speechless.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why do Trump supporters enjoy polish people at his rally...
so that they can say that their ahead in the Poles.
Polish gram-pa said it.
Did you hear about the dyslexic politician?
Yeah, apparently he caused a bit of an uproar at his latest rally because he was kissing peoples' hands and shaking their babies.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What has forty legs and two teeth?
A k**... rally.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Hoist the colors high!
Something you'd rather hear a pirate say than yelled at a k**... rally.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I went to the k**... rally expecting it to be totally boring.
But you know what? It was all-white.
A politician is speaking at a rally and says
"I never thought id be happier than my first time in politics but then my wife came along"
Crowd "Awwww"
"And made sure of it"
Introvert rally cry
We're introverts!
We're here!
We're uncomfortable!
We want to go home!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
The speaker at the podium was talking about preserving pure blood lines and AK-"something or other."
Not sure if it was a dog show or a k**... recruiting rally.
I didn't go to the Mayday rally today.
People said it would be perfectly safe, but I saw a lot of red flags.
With all this stuff about the Guardians of the Galaxy director being fired,
the biggest surprise is seeing conservatives rally against a Gunn.
What's the difference between a monster truck rally and the rockettes?
A monster truck rally has a CUNNING array of STUNTS
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
If you need to get a new dishwasher
Just go to your local feminist rally.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Just got my braces off and now my mouth looks like a k**... rally!
White and straight!
Americans leaving their homes to rally outside against having to stay in their homes
Thought the title was enough
Black lives matter held a rally in Houston, but no one knew what they were trying to say.
The Astros stole all their signs.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What does a pragmatist call quarter glass of water?
Fuller than Trumps Tulsa rally.
One rally attendee to the other: "How long has the president been talking?"
The other answers: "Half an hour."
"What is he talking about?"
"I don't know, he won't say"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
There are 2 kinds of people at every k**... rally.
Cops and undercover cops.
There are two booths set up at a Trump rally.
Someone asks "why isn't anyone lined up at this booth?"
"It's a kissing booth."
"Why's everyone over at the other booth?"
"That's the punch line."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What's the difference between a Trump rally and a k**... rally?
A k**... rally encourages to wear mask.
A guy walks into a bar
A guy walks into a bar and orders a beer. "How you doing today?" the bartender asks. "Actually, earlier today I was feeling really down. Depressed even," the guy says. "But then I parked in a handicapped stall at the grocery store and then I had a bunch of complete strangers rally around me and tell me there was nothing wrong with me."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A Drunk's Poem
Starkle, starkle, little t**...,
Who the h**... you are I think.
I'm not under what they call
The alcofluence of incohol.
I'm not drunk as thinkle peep,
I'm just a little slort of sheep.
Tee martoonis make a guy
Fool so feelish, don't know why.
Rally don't know who's me yet
The drunker I stay the longer I get
So just one more to full my cup,
I've all day sober to Sunday up!
