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Rainy Jokes

53 rainy jokes and hilarious rainy puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about rainy that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Want to make your little one's rainy day a little brighter? Check out this collection of funny jokes about the wettest of days--perfect for a kid stuck inside during a downpour! See FEMA's hilarious tips for staying prepared and happy during a storm.

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Funniest Rainy Short Jokes

Short rainy jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The rainy humour may include short raining jokes also.

  1. It's rainy outside, gf is looking through the window totally depressed... I don't know what to do Should I let her come in ?
  2. It was a rainy day, she had just left him and was walking back home... "Nobody will find him there"
    She thought as she walked.
  3. I'm so poor my only funds are daylight savings... but at least it's trickling down for a rainy day.
  4. 4 Weather Patterns Are In A Race Sunny gets gold.
    Cloudy gets silver.
    Snowy gets bronze.
    And Rainy gets a precipitation award.
  5. What's the difference between a Sasquatch and a Yeti? One lives in a rainy climate and the other, a little cooler.
  6. I read in a medical journal that sniffing Rosemary will improve your immunity during this rainy season... But my colleague is not understanding when I do this and now she's calling the security...
  7. A mathematician walks into a bar on a rainy April day... The bartender asks him, "Hey, do you know what April showers bring?"
    The mathematician says, "Pilgrims!"
  8. During rainy days, I and my lazy dog are competing who sleeps the deepest and the longest. I am the underdog in this fight.
  9. Every day, for the last two years, I've been putting something aside for a rainy day... ... But what am I going to do with 500 umbrellas and 200 pairs of wellies?
  10. I still have some faith in humanity and I owe it to the kind people who leave free unbrellas at public places on rainy days. Just when you need them the most.

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Rainy One Liners

Which rainy one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with rainy? I can suggest the ones about rains and raining day.

  1. Why do kangaroos hate rainy days? Because the kids have to play inside.
  2. Why do kangaroos hate rainy days? The kids have to play inside.
  3. Why do mother kangaroos hate rainy days? Because their kids want to play inside.
  4. Why can't you tan on a rainy day? Cos it's a sin
  5. What's wet and likes to shake? An earthquake on a rainy day.
  6. What do books wear on a rainy day? Rain Quotes
  7. I bought myself a new umbrella Saving it for a rainy day..
  8. Why don't ghosts like rainy days? Because it dampens their souls!!!!
  9. On a rainy day, a girl was thinking about... The game.
    (Sorry... i lost the game)
  10. When it's rainy, Donald doesn't want to come But when it's Stormy...
  11. What do you call your mother on a rainy day? Mom.
  12. What is Al Shabaab's theme song? Rainy Day Women #12 & 35.
  13. I've put something aside for a rainy day. It's an umbrella.
  14. You're more beautiful than the day I met you. To be fair it was rainy and overcast.
  15. What day is it when you get a sunburned knee? A rainy day.

Rainy Day Jokes

Here is a list of funny rainy day jokes and even better rainy day puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • I heard that after Hurricane Irma, FEMA will run out of money. This is surprising since I thought they would have a rainy day fund.
  • On a rainy day every one was enjoying the rain but only PETA wasn't Because it was pouring cats & dogs
  • I just bought a brand new umbrella, but I'm not gonna use it yet. I'm saving it for a rainy day.
  • On my recent trip to Japan, I visited Hiroshima on a short trip. It was a cold, dark, and rainy day. It wasn't the best day to be in Hiroshima, but it wasn't the worst, either.
  • Today i saw a girl with makeup in a rainy day and i get scared after rain
  • It was a rainy day in California...
  • I gave my girlfriend a laminated n**... photo of myself. I told her to save it for a rainy day.
  • What's worse than rainy days? Getting r**... by a giant scorpion.

Rainy Weather Jokes

Here is a list of funny rainy weather jokes and even better rainy weather puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • "Why has it been so windy and rainy today? Kind of abusive, if you ask me." -Daughter "It's just May-weather, now give me a hug."
Rainy joke, "Why has it been so windy and rainy today? Kind of abusive, if you ask me." -Daughter

Hilarious Rainy Jokes to Make Your Friends Roar with Laughter

What funny jokes about rainy you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean raining sky jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make rainy pranks.

I told my wife when I first met her that I play a LOT of golf


I told her …
If it's a beautiful sunny day I'm gonna play golf
If it's windy I'll play golf
If it's rainy I'll play golf
If we're in a minor car accident, I'll drop her off at the hospital and go play golf…
She said she's a hooker…
I said you're probably not holding the club right!

A man lives on the 15th floor of an apartment.

One rainy Saturday afternoon he walks out onto his balcony and sticks his hand out over the edge to see if it's raining or not, and a glass eye falls into his hand. He looks up, and there is a gorgeous woman standing on the balcony above him, who apologises and says she was just leaning out to check the rain and her glass eye fell out. She asks him to bring it up the stairs to her, which he does immediately. To say thanks, she kisses him on the mouth. Mildly surprised, he asks, "Do you do that to every guy you meet?"
And she replies, "Only the ones that catch my eye."

Real happiness

A Russian, a Frenchman and an Englishman were discussing the meaning of real happiness
The English said "real happiness is reading a good book on a rainy night with a hot cup of tea by your side"
The Frenchman said : "non mon ami, real happiness is to meet a beautiful girl make love to her, then you go your separate ways never meeting again"
The Russian : "no you are both wrong, real happiness is when secret police come to your house in middle of night and tell you: Ivan Ivanovich you arrested for conspiracing against the state and you tell them : sorry Ivan Ivanovich lives next door."

My neighbour always seems to hang up his laundry on sunny days, but never on rainy days.

One day I decided to ask him how he always knew which days to hang his laundry.
"Well," he explained, "if I wake up and my wife is lying on her side, I know it's going to rain and I shouldn't hang my laundry. If I wake up and she's lying on her front, I know it's not going to rain and I should hang my laundry."
"That's a very interesting method," I replied, "but what if she's lying on her back?"
"Ah, those days," he said, "I have better things to do than laundry!"

3 little kids, Leafy, Rainy and Bricky.

They were asking their mother about their names.
Leafy asked:
— Mama, why is my name Leafy?
The Mother answered:
— Cause when you were born a Leaf fell on your head
Then Rainy asked:
— Mama, why is my name Rainy?
— Because when your were born, the water from the rain fell on your head
Then Bricky Asked:
SANMAM,,, EHYWY DISIIS HJHHTMHMGM AMENMA BFIJCKCY¿

Kids these days...

It was a very rainy day and the new kindergarten teacher was helping her children wear their galoshes. It was a tiresome job involving much pushing and shoving.
Finally it was young Barry's turn. The teacher pushed and pushed and finally helped him into his galoshes.
"You know," said Barry, "These aren't my galoshes."
The poor teacher groaned and struggled to pull his galoshes off. When she finally did, she said, "Alright Barry, now whose galoshes are these?"
"They're my brother's, but mum said I could wear them anyway."

OC Dad joke

Farmers say that when all the cows are standing up in the field, it's going to be rainy weather.
When all of the cows are sitting down, it's going to be sunny weather.
What is the weather going to be if half the cows are standing and half are sitting?
Partly Cowdy.
You're welcome.

On a rainy day two men are standing under the poplar trees in the park

One of them is weeping:

- John. Do you know how difficult it is to lose a wife?
- I know Jack, I know. Practically impossible.

Rainy joke, Why don't ghosts like rainy days?