Rains Jokes
61 rains jokes and hilarious rains puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about rains that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Rains Short Jokes
Short rains jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The rains humour may include short raining jokes also.
- What's the difference between donald trump and a worm? One of them is a slimy, loathsome creature incapable of complex thought, the other one actually shows up when it rains.
- I was confused why there are so many stories about vampires in Europe, but not in Africa. Then I remembered that vampires are killed by holy water.
They bless the rain down in Africa. - Just asked Siri. "Surely it's not going to rain today?"
She said "it will, and don't call me Shirley"
...Forgot to take my phone off Airplane mode. - I always wondered why you hear stories of vampires in Europe but never Africa. Then I remembered vampires are killed by holy water, and they bless the rain down in Africa
- Why can you see the LGBT colours in the sky after it rains? Because the sun just came out.
- A Russian named Rudolf woke up one morning He looked out the window and announced, _"It's raining."_
His wife said, _"No dear, it's sleeting."_
He replied, _"Rudolf the Red knows rain, dear."_ - Whenever it rains my girlfriend just stands at the window looking sad. Maybe I should let her in.
- It's just started raining really hard and all my wife is doing is standing at the window looking sad... If it gets any stronger I'll have to let her in
- Every time it rains I find my wife standing at the window, looking kind of sad. Maybe I should let her inside.
- I asked Siri " surely it isn't going to rain tomorrow" and he replied " yes it is, and don't call me Shirley"...turns out I left airplane mode on
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Rains One Liners
Which rains one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with rains? I can suggest the ones about rainy and rain falls.
- I won gold at a weather forecasting event yesterday, I beat the raining champion.
- What is worse than raining cats and dogs? Hailing taxi.
- I asked a tall guy "how's the weather up there" He spat on me and told me it's raining
- What do you call a bear in the rain? A drizzly bear
- When does soil get rich? When mother nature makes it rain.
- why is rain the best kind of music? because it has amazing drops.
- Why are there no vampires in africa? Because they blessed the rains down in africa.
- I don't know if I just got hit by freezing rain but it hurt like hail.
- It's raining cats and dogs outside. Know how I can tell? I stepped in a poodle.
- When does it rain money? When there's change in the weather.
- Why doesn't Putin visit the Queen? He can't handle UK rain.
- I made this one up today…. What is Santa's favorite weather? It's rain, dear!
- Strippers in Houston must be doing great. Because they're making it rain.
- How do you know it's raining cats and dogs? When you walk outside and step in a poodle.
- Why don't ghosts go out in the rain? It dampens their spirits
Rains Pours Jokes
Here is a list of funny rains pours jokes and even better rains pours puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- I went to an outdoor restaurant last night Total disaster. Poured with rain. Took me 2 hours to finish my soup.
- On a rainy day every one was enjoying the rain but only PETA wasn't Because it was pouring cats & dogs
- Rain is pouring from the ground! Maybe I overreacted... It's just sprinkling...
Great Rains Jokes to Share, Laugh and Enjoy with Friends
What funny jokes about rains you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean pouring rain jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make rains pranks.
Everyone is familiar with the story of the Wizard of Oz, right?
Dorothy and her dog get flown away in a tornado, and end up in the magical land of Oz. Obviously Dorothy misses her family and home, but her dog, Toto, he misses the rains down in Africa."
Two English Muslims go on holiday in Spain...
Two English Muslims go on a long holiday in Spain, and they're having a wonderful time until one day the weather turns and it rains for three days straight. On the fourth day, one of them looks out of the window in the morning.
"Ahmed, I think we can visit some of the local buildings today. We should bring an umbrella though."
"Ah, but Hissam, how is the weather looking on the forecast? Is it Sunni, or is it s**...'ite?"
Not sure what you have heard, but it actually only rains twice a year in Seattle.
October through May, then June through September.
Why do Native Americans hate it when it rains in April?
Because it brings Mayflowers.
Why wasn't toto as excited as dorothy when they traveled the yellow brick road?
he missed the rains down in africa
What's White & Gooey and Rains Down From the Sky?
The coming of the Lord.
What happens after it rains in gotham city?
a waynebow.
Why do cows huddle together when it rains?
To keep each udder dry
Courtesy of my significant other
What do you get when it rains t-rexes?
A meat-eater shower
Out of all the Gods...
...the weather God rains.
What doesnt get wet when it rains?
The oceans
(The joke is the joke itself.)
Please clap.
If Dorothy missed Kansas, what did Toto miss?
They missed the rains down in Africa
A priest and a man are sitting on a bench.
Man : forgive me father, for i have sinned.
Priest : What have you done my son?
M : Everytime it rains i r**... someone. A month ago it was raining and i r**... my aunt.
P : may god forgive you my son.
M : a week ago it was raining again and i r**... my neighbour.
P : may god forgive you my son.
M : just yesterday i r**... my daughter.
*The priest runs into the church and locks the door.*
M : father, what are you doing?
P : It's starting to rain.
Why do people carry umbrellas when it rains?
Because umbrellas can't walk. Ba'dum tssss
What kind of vegetable do people farm indoors after it rains?
Leaks
I only drink twice a year
When it rains and when it doesn't rain
When it's sunny, I think, "beer garden!"
When it rains, I usually go to the bar for a while.
When it's snowing, I like to sit in front of the TV with a case of beer.
I'm starting to think I have a problem with the weather…
How did the Ethiopian priest make holy water?
He blessed the rains down in Africa.
What's the difference between a horse and the weather?
One is reined up and the other rains down
Since Vampires are supposedly hurt by holy water, I always wondered why priests don't just say a prayer over every storm cloud, kill the vampires from above. Then I realized why so many Vampires are from Europe...
Someone already blessed the rains down in Africa
If vampires are hurt by holy water, why don't priests just bless a storm cloud to kill vampires everywhere? But then I remembered why so many vampires are from Europe...
Someone already blessed the rains down in Africa.
What Pokèmon blesses the rains down in Africa?
Totodile
TIL Most of the world's coco is produced in Africa.
This is because of part of the continent's tropical savanna climate, particularly its precipitation. I love chocolate, so I'm really grateful for this.
Next time I eat a candy bar, I'll have to bless the rains down in Africa.
My wife and kids always look through the window all sad and angry when it rains
Maybe I should let them in
Since vampires are hurt by holy water, I always wondered why Priests don't bless storm clouds and kill them from above. Then I realized why most vampires live in Europe
Someone already blessed the rains down in Africa
I've got to stop m**... in the shower...
Everytime it rains I get a hard on.
What are there no vampires in Africa
Because vampires die from holy water , and we blessed the rains down in Africa
I was wondering why there were so many stories about vampires in Europe, but not in Africa, and than I realized Vampires are killed by Holy water...
They blessed the rains down in Africa.
Why are there so many vampires in Europe and not in Africa?
Vampires are killed with holy water and they bless the rains down in Africa.
Why do mother kangaroos hate it when it rains?
Because the kids have to play inside
I was wondering why there are so many stories about vampires in Europe but not in África. Then i realised vampires are killed by holy water.
They bless the rains down in Africa .
Credits to u/Josh1804
Why are there no vampires in Africa?
Because they bless the rains down in Africa!
Two old ladies smoking
Two old ladies are outside smoking cigarettes when it starts to rain. One pulls out a c**..., cuts off the tip, slides it over her cigarette and keeps smoking.
The other old lady is surprised and asks about it. The first one explains that it's just a c**.... She buys them at the pharmacy and uses them to keep her cigarettes dry when it rains.
The second old lady is intrigued by the idea and the next day she heads to the pharmacy. She goes up to the counter and asks for a pack of condoms.
The pharmacist asks what size she needs and she says, Just whatever will fit a camel.
Vampires live in europe
Because someone blessed the rains down in Africa
A painter is employed to whitewash the local church. But he makes the mistake of thinning the paint down too much, so that it all washes away the first time it rains.
The minister rings the painter to complain. "What do you want me to do about it?" says the painter.
"Repaint," says the minister, "And thin no more."
People asked me if it rains upside down in Australia.
I said: "Yes, but down here, we call it evaporation."
May cat seems to like stormy weather...
when it rains, it purrs.
