Railing Jokes
26 railing jokes and hilarious railing puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about railing that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Railing Short Jokes
Short railing jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The railing humour may include short fence jokes also.
- My girlfriend is slightly off the rails. I'm just hoping she doesn't untie herself in time.
- Wow. Those Spaniards are some die hard Ozzy fans.. ..cause they really went off the rails on a crazy train.
- A horse walks into a bar, and the bartender asks, "Why the long face?" "Because alcoholism has destroyed my life and my family. Let me get your rail whiskey."
- To whoever keeps stealing the stairs to my front porch: I will find you; steps are being taken. If you ever show up here again, you will get such a railing.
- I went to the DIY shop I went to the DIY shop and bought a curtain rail. The shop assistant asked if I was putting it up myself. I replied "no you dirty sod. I'm putting it up in the dining room"
- United Airlines should get into the rail transportation business... ...because they have the longest karma train that I've ever seen.
- Did you hear about the guy who fell into the endangered Mollusk exhibit? An aquarium employee ran up to the railing and shouted "I'll go get help, don't move a mussel!
- Did you hear about the bottom who was hit by a train? He died doing what he loved; getting railed
- A discussion me and my wife just had *Me trying to place the curtain on its rails*
Me:I can't reach it, I need 10 more cm to do it!
Wife:*sigh*.. I know.. - Experts now bringing in Ozzy Osbourne to assess the Amtrak derailment in Washington As he is certified on going off the rails on a crazy train.
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Railing One Liners
Which railing one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with railing? I can suggest the ones about railway and staircase.
- My mother in law has gone a bit off the rails. Hopefully the train still gets her.
- Why don't lightsabers have picatinny rails? Jedi aren't allowed to have attachments.
- What do you call two gay guys riding the rails in an empty boxcar? Hobosexuals
- How about that train food? It's off the rails
- What language does robot Marco run on? Rubio on rails
- Why didn't rail Castro want to be President of Cuba? He didn't want to play second fidel
- A nearly dead baby is like building a new porch To finish it off it needs a good railing
- In what country do they not care what they're women look like? I'll-still-rail-ya
- My great grandfather died in Auschwitz Those guard towers needed better safety rails
- What was the train to Ireland called? The ginger rail
- I had a great experience with Amtrak... it was OFF THE RAILS
- A French man was transporting very rail snails... You could say it was precious escargot.
- What do you call a staircase with no railing in an old folks home? A stairway to heaven.
- Network Rail (Only people in the UK will get this)
- What type of video game do you play a coke head killer? An on rail shooter.
Loads of Fun with Charming Humor Railing Jokes
What funny jokes about railing you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean rail me jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make railing pranks.
a Homeless guy saw a pretty woman standing on the railing of a bridge determined to kill herself...
immediately he saw his chance, he walked up to her and asked, "Lady, before you end your life, would you consider doing me a favor and have s**... with me?" Disgusted and crying the woman replied, "No, of course not you pervert!" the homeless guy said, "Fine, I'll wait at the bottom."
The old lady was standing at the railing of the cruise ship holding her hat on tight so that it would not blow off in the wind....
The old lady was standing at the railing of the cruise ship holding her hat on tight so that it would not blow off in the wind.
A gentleman approached her and said: Pardon me, madam. I do not intend to be forward, but did you know that your dress is blowing up in this high wind?
Yes, I know, said the lady, I need both hands to hold onto this hat. But, madam, you must know that your privates are exposed! said the gentleman in earnest.
The woman looked down, then back up at the man and replied, Sir, anything you see down there is 85 years old. I just bought this hat yesterday!
An Aussie and a Kiwi are sitting at a pub, downing a few beers, after a game of rugby.
The kiwi turns to the Aussie and says, "Bro, if I shagged your wife over a railing and got her pregnant, would it make us related?"
To which the Aussie replies, "Dunno, mate, but I do know it'll make us even."
Old lady on a cruise...
The old lady was standing at the railing of the cruise ship holding her hat on tight so that it would not blow off in the wind.
A gentleman approached her and said: Pardon me, madam. I do not intend to be forward, but did you know that your dress is blowing up in this high wind?
Yes, I know, said the lady, I need both hands to hold onto this hat. But, madam, you must know that your privates are exposed! said the gentleman in earnest.
The woman looked down, then back up at the man and replied, Sir, anything you see down there is 85 years old. I just bought this hat yesterday!
A boy walks in on his parents...
He sees his dad railing his mom from behind. His dad looks over at him and gives him a big thumbs up and continues on. After they finish, the mom says that he should check on the boy and see how he's doing. So the father goes downstairs and hears a weird noise coming from his room. He opens the door and sees his son ramming his grandma from behind, the boy looks over and says How do you like it when someone is doing this to your mom.
An American businessman
An American businessman travels to Japan to do business with a Japanese company.
He is in his 50's so he hasn't had s**... in years so he decided to hire a p**... .
He led her to his room and started railing on her , it was great s**... but she kept on yelling this same Japanese phrase that he didn't know.
A couple months later he was back in America and was golfing with his Japanese friend.
His friend was really great at golf and he got a whole in one .
He wanted to impress his friend on his Japanese so he said the same phrase that the p**... told him.
His Japanese friend turned to him confused and said
Wrong hole?
A guy wants to commit s**...
A guy wants to commit s**... but he has tried in the past and failed. This time he is ready and has a failsafe plan. He decides that he is going to s**... poison, shoot himself in the head and hang himself at the same time. He goes to the local bridge and ties a rope around the railing. He places the noose around his neck, puts the gun to his temple and takes a mouthful of poison and jumps. The gun goes off and he misses his head and the bullet cuts the rope in half. He screams as he falls into the water below. The water rushes into his mouth and washes the poison away. He swims to shore and says " Thank God, if I hadn't been able to swim I might have drowned."
I'll take my chances
A Sunday church service was coming to an end. This gorgeous blonde girl started to make her way out to get ahead of the crowd.
As she was walking down the stairs, her dress got caught on the corner of a railing and was instantly pulled off. She was stark n**... in the middle of the church.
The pastor looked down immediately, talking into the mic. He said "Nobody look. If anyone looks, so help me God, the Lord will blind you."
The guy next to me put his hand over half of his face and said, "I think I'll take my chances with one eye."
