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Ragged Jokes

30 ragged jokes and hilarious ragged puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about ragged that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Funniest Ragged Short Jokes

Short ragged jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The ragged humour may include short frayed jokes also.

  1. Today I saw a little boy wearing rags sitting on a curb I said, "Awww, are you an orphan"?
    He said, "Yes, what gave me away?"
    I said, "Your parents."
  2. I passed a kid sat on the side of the road dressed in rags earlier. I asked him, "Are you an orphan?"
    He replied, "Yes. What gave me away?"
    I said, "Your parents."
  3. Motherhood is like a fairytale... ... _*but in reverse*_
    You start out in a beautiful ball gown and end up in stained rags cleaning up after little people.
  4. What's the most effective chat up line in the world? Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?
  5. Just realized I used my old spirit week shirt from school as a fap rag. It was my Homecumming shirt
  6. I'm writing a musical about a rag-tag team of Breitbart columnists standing up to the mainstream media elites. It's called Fake Newsies.
  7. My married friends say their "honey-do" lists run them ragged. Thankfully I've already told the girlfriend I cantaloupe.
  8. Overheard at work "Stop messing around with the dust rag! You shouldn't play with the stuff you work with!"
    "Someone didn't tell that to Bill Clinton."
  9. How do you feel about legalizing euthanasia for anybody who wants it? Does this rag smell funny to you?
  10. The Urdu word for 'rag' is 'taki'. I asked my mom how she manages to clean the house so well. She said, 'Taki taki, taki taki, Roomba!'

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Ragged One Liners

Which ragged one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with ragged? I can suggest the ones about raging and ripped.

  1. Roses are red, violets are blue.... does this rag smell like chloroform to you? ,
  2. What do you get when you finger a gypsy on the rag? Your palm red for free.
  3. I went from rags to riches While reading the dictionary
  4. Ever listen to the radio station WPMS? 3 weeks of the blues, one week of rag-time
  5. Did you know about the guy that invented tampons? He went from rags to riches
  6. My favorite pickup line: Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?
  7. "Does this rag smell like choloroform?" Best pickup-line ever.
  8. I found $100 in the laundry It's my rags to riches story.
  9. If frank sinatra was black, what would he wear on his head? A dooby dooby doo rag
  10. Hey, Lucy! Does this rag smell like Chloroform to you?
  11. What do you call a Canadian rag? Reggae
  12. Yo mama so fat.... ...she uses a comforter for a wash rag.
  13. How do you know when a hippy chick is on the rag? She's only wearing one sock.
  14. What do you call a pinup girl that is on her period? Rag Doll.
  15. What do you call a Yamaka in the hood? A Jew-rag.

Ragged joke, What do you call a Yamaka in the hood?

Experience Good Cheer with Hilarious Ragged Jokes and Friends

What funny jokes about ragged you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean rubbed jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make ragged pranks.

I saw a raggedy little boy on the street and asked him if he was an orphan. He said, "What gave me away?"

I said, "Your parents."

The rain was pouring and there was a big puddle in front of the pub.

A ragged old man was standing there with a rod and hanging a string into the puddle.
A curious gentleman came over and asked what he was doing. "Fishing", the old man said simply. "Poor old fool", the gentleman thought, and he invited the ragged old man to a drink in the pub.
He felt he should start some conversation while they were sipping their whiskey, so he asked the old man, "and how many have you caught?"
"You're the eighth", the old man answered.

A ragged looking teen is begging for food on the street

A guy comes along and buys him a sandwich. He asks the kid, are you an orphan?
The kid replies, yes I am. What gave me away?
The guy says, obviously, your parents

On a tour of some really remote islands...

A cruise ship passed by an archipelago. A sharp-eyed passenger spotted a ragged figure by a campfire who jumped up and started waving his arms wildly.
"Captain!" said the passenger, "I see someone over there....who is that?"
"I'm not sure," replied the captain, "but he goes nuts every year we pass by here..."

A raggedy old nun was walking home ....

.... from the convent one evening, when an old man jumped out of the bushes and had his way with her.
The man laughed and said: "What will you tell the Holy Father NOW, Sister?"
And the nun replied: "I can't lie to the Lord! I must say I was walking home from the convent when a man jumped out from the bushes, attacked me and had his way with me TWICE...... Unless you're too tired?"

Why was Raggedy Ann thrown out of the Toy Box?

She kept sitting on Pinocchio's face, saying "Lie to me!"

Why did Raggedy Anne get kicked out of the toybox?

She kept sitting on Pinocchio's face and screaming "Lie to me! Lie to me!!!"

What did Raggedy Ann say

to Pinnochio?
Tell the truth. Tell a lie. Tell the truth. Tell a lie. Tell the truth. Tell a lie. Tell the truth. Tell a lie. Tell the truth. Tell a lie. Tell the truth. Tell a lie.

What did Raggedy Ann say when she sat on Pinocchio's face?

Tell a lie...... tell the truth........ tell a lie ....... tell the truth

Why did Raggedy Ann get thrown out of the toy box?

She sat on Pinocchio's face and made him lie to her.

How did Raggedy Ann and Raggedy Andy spice up their s**... life?

By trying button stuff.

At a winery, the regular taster died and the director started looking for a new one to hire.

A drunkard with a ragged, dirty look came in to apply for the position. The director of the winery wondered how to send him away. He gave him a glass to drink.
The drunk tried it and said, It's a Muscat, three years old, grown on a north slope, matured in steel containers. Low grade, but acceptable.
"That's correct", said the boss.
Another glass...
This is a Cabernet, eight years old, a south-western slope, oak barrels, matured at 8 degrees. Requires three more years for finest results.
"Correct."
A third glass...
"It's a Pinot Blanc Champagne, high grade and exclusive,'' the drunk said calmly.
The director was astonished. He winked at his secretary, secretly suggesting something.
She left the room, and came back in with a glass of u**....
The alcoholic tried it. "It's a blonde, 26 years old, three months pregnant and if I don't get the job I'll name the father."

The rain was pouring . . .

The rain was pouring and there was a big puddle in front of the pub.
A ragged old man was standing there with a rod and hanging a string into the puddle. A tipsy-looking, curious gentleman came over to him and asked what he was doing.
'Fishing,' the old man said simply.
'Poor old fool,' the gentleman thought and he invited the ragged old man to a drink in the pub. As he felt he should start some conversation while they were sipping their whiskey, the gentleman asked, 'And how many have you caught?'
'You're the eighth one today,' the old man answered.

Healing Kiss

In a train compartment a young couple and an elderly, somewhat ragged man were sitting.
The girl looks like she's having some discomfort so her boyfriend asks her, "What's wrong honey?"
She replies. "My head hurts."
Her boyfriend kisses her forehead, and asks her, "Is it better now?"
"Yes," she says.
Then he asks, "Does it hurt somewhere else?"
"Here," she replies, pointing to her lips. So the boyfriend kisses her lips.
"Is it better now?"
"Much better."
"Anywhere else?"
She replies by pointing to her neck. So the boyfriend kisses her neck.
Annoyed at the pitiful public display, the elderly man asks the young man, "Excuse me, do you do hemorrhoids?"

Ragged joke, Healing Kiss