Rage Jokes
90 rage jokes and hilarious rage puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about rage that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
This article explores the humor in road rage, and how it can be used to cope with the situation when it arises. It looks at what makes a 'rage joke' funny, and how laughing can help diffuse an intense, angry situation. Learn why raging can be a great way to cope with road rage, and the difference between a healthy joke and one that can turn bitterly acidic.
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Funniest Rage Short Jokes
Short rage jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The rage humour may include short raid jokes also.
- "You wouldn't like me when I'm angry... Because I always back up my rage with facts and well documented sources" -The Credible Hulk
- In a fit of rage, a friend of mine ran over a pedestrian with his electric car. He will be charged with battery.
- What do you call a Pharaoh who has road rage? Tootin' car man. (My friend swears she made up this joke so I'm pretty sure this is actual OC)
- There is a trend in psychotherapy called Anger Expression therapy where the patient is to express any anger immediately no matter how small or trivial. Its all the rage.
- People who get road rage against people riding bicycles. They've got serious cyclelogical issues.
- My wife and I got into a heated argument. "I met a man...but I married a boy." she said, her face full of rage.
I said, "I guess the jokes on you then, paedo." - The Body Acceptance Movement really died quick It seems like anti-bodies are all the rage right now
- A man finds another man with his wife in bed. In a fit of rage, he shoots him. The wife says, Keep it up and you'll lose all your friends
- I feel like with all this political stuff going on, its become popular with a lot of people to be angry all the time. Some might say its all the rage.
- What happens when a stereoid user drives their car? They get roid rage.
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Rage One Liners
Which rage one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with rage? I can suggest the ones about riot and anger.
- Apparently Tucker Carlson is starting a new band Rage sponsored by the machine
- I just finished a book about the berserkers... apparently they used to be all the rage.
- Why are the scottish mean? They 'ave rage
- What was the Luddite's favorite band? Rage Against the Machine.
- What's Gordon Ramsay's favorite band? Rage Against the Cuisine
- You haven't heard of The Incredible Hulk's new fashion line? It's all the rage.
- I hear stoicism is all the rage these days. Sounds like they're doing it wrong.
- Why is anger the new hip emotion? It's all the rage.
- So I just started anger management Apparently it's all the rage right now
- The Incredible Hulk has started his own fashion line. It's all the rage.
- China have announced their new rage of meat free snacks. "Not Poodle"
- TIL I did not have Road Rage turns out I'm just an angry drunk...
- Custom made Exit signs are all the rage these days. But I think they are on the way out.
- Exit signs are all the rage these days But I think they're on the way out
- What kind of exercises are all the rage in Kenya? Anairobics.
Fit Rage Jokes
Here is a list of funny fit rage jokes and even better fit rage puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Imagine if, in some fit of drug-induced rage back in the 60s, Keith Richards had killed David Crosby & Gram Parsons? Talk about killing two byrds with one stone.
Road Rage Jokes
Here is a list of funny road rage jokes and even better road rage puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- A documentary of when Elton John developed anger problems and went to anger management. Goodbye Yellow Brick Road Rage.
- What do you call the road rage that Tesla owners feel towards normal drivers? Madagascar
- "Toddler shot dead in road rage incident" Which is completely understandable. Who wouldn't get angry at a toddler driving on the 5?
- ROAD RAGE ON STEROIDS. SEE THE CLASSY SLYSTER EXPLODE IN ACTION IN THIS RANT VIDEO.
- I don't know if you've ever seen a Muslim road rage But it's pretty explosive
Happy Rage Jokes for a Lighthearted Night with Friends
What funny jokes about rage you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean rust jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make rage pranks.
Second Opinion
A doctor and his wife are having a fight at the breakfast table. Husband gets up in a rage and says, "And you are no good in bed either," and storms out of the house. After sometime he realizes he was n**... and decides to make amends and calls home.
She comes to the phone after many rings and the irritated husband says, "What took you so long to answer the phone?"
She says, "I was in bed."
"In bed this early, doing what?" Shouts the doctor.
"Getting a second opinion!"
A Jewish Atheist enrolls his son in Catholic school
A Jewish atheist hears that the best school in town happens to be Catholic, so he enrolls his son. Things are going well until one day the boy comes home and says, I just learned all about the Father, the Son, and the Holy Ghost.
The boy's father is barely able to control his rage. He grabs his son by the shoulders and says, Son, this is very important, so listen carefully. There is only ONE God — and we don't believe in Him!
What game is all the rage with the Ferguson rioters?
Truth or Darren Wilson.
I'm thinking about trying steroids...
I hear they're all the rage!
I never really understood all the rage about necrophilia
Until I finally decided to sit down and crack open a cold one!
Wife arrives home late at night from a business trip and quietly opens the door to her bedroom.
Wife arrives home late at night from a business trip and quietly opens the door to her bedroom. But she notices four legs instead of two peeking from under the blanket!
Seized by a fit of rage, she reaches for the baseball bat and starts hitting the blanket until the screaming stops.
Still in shock, she lurches to the kitchen to have a drink. As she enters, she sees her husband there, reading a magazine.
"Oh welcome home darling," he says, "my parents came for a visit, so I let them have our bedroom. I hope you said hello."
What's it called when an android becomes angry?
'Roid rage.
A father caught his teenage son filming a lewd act on his cell phone with his girlfriend. He was outraged, having thought that he had raised his son to be better than this.
In his rage, he shouted, "Son! I never, ever want to see you film vertically ever again!"
A daughter is in a fierce argument with her father
The dad is yelling, she's inconsolable and crying. She finally gets sick and tired of it, and storms up to her bedroom.
Before entering, she lashes out at her father "Oh, and more thing: Jim Morrison is a terrible artist!"
The father, filled with rage yells back "Young lady, there will be NO slamming of The Doors in this house!"
What do you get when an alternative metal band runs out of toilet paper?
Rage Upon the Latrine
Whats large, hairy and full of rage?
My wife when she forgets her morning coffee!
It's double standards!!!!
When The Hulk goes off into a vicious rage and destroys everything, he's "Incredible."
But when I do it,
I'm, "an alcoholic."
Did you hear about the Angry Lightbulb?
He was incandescent with rage.
My teenage daughter came home in a rage.
"I've just had s**... education in school today, Dad!
You lied to me!
You told me if I have s**... before my sixteenth birthday my boyfriend will die!"
I put down my paper: "Oh, he will sweetheart, he will.
A pirate walks into a bar...
...and requests a grog of ale.
"Sure thing pal," says the bartender. But he sees the pirate has his ship's wheel stuck in his pants. "Mr. Pirate," he says, "you do realize your wheel is in your pants?"
The pirate looks at the bartender with a fury-induced bloodshot eye that held years of rage. "Aye...it's driving me *nuts*!"
I was hanging out with my grandfather.
I was on my phone when he knocks it out of my hands and said " You rely to much on technology " red in the face with rage I scream " No YOU rely to much on technology" as I pull the plug on his life support.
A husband was driving a car with his wife in the passenger seat
Resulting from road rage, a nearby car driver shouted at the husband, "You're a s**... idiot"
The wife then replied, "Do you know this person?"
The husband said, "No, why?"
The wife said, "Because he seems to know so much about you."
There was a very angry bodybuilder psychologist
He had Freud rage
My parents decided to have a Nirvana-Themed wedding
Then again, shotgun weddings were all the rage back then.
Disclaimer: 8371 days is long enough.
Three friends: Nobody,Somebody and Mad used to live happily together
Once, Nobody and Somebody had a huge argument and in a fit of rage Somebody killed Nobody .
Horrified, Mad decided to call the cops.
Mad: Hello cops? Somebody just murdered Nobody! You need to come over quick!
Cop: What?
Mad: Somebody killed Nobody!
Cop: Sir, are you mad?
Mad: Yes sir! How did you know that?
Jealous girlfriend
My girlfriend's jealousy is getting worst by the day..The other day she flew into a rage while looking at my calendar and demanded to know who April and May were.
Bulls on a Parade
On a hot sunny day, I went to a record store. A song was playing on the speakers. Angrily, I picked up a hammer and started b**... the speaker system.
The confused owner asked, "What is this?"
I said, "Rage Against the Machine."
My 5 year old son just told me that I have a head like a lightbulb.
I'm incandescent with rage.
There's a trendy, new anger problem.
It's all the rage.
A wife comes home from a long day at work
She goes to her room and she sees a pair of feminine feet in the bed with a pair of manly feet.
Assuming that her husband is cheating on her, she goes into a rage and starts beating their legs.
After about 20 seconds of punching, she hears her husband call from the kitchen Honey! Just wanted to let you know your parents are here
A nun is doing her rounds around town. . .
. . .when she turns the corner near a bar, only to collide with a mean-looking, stumbling drunk. The drunk flies into a rage, and punches her in the face. He then kicks her square in the gut, and begins to brutally pummel her head and face as she doubles over.
Within a minute, she is reduced to a quivering, sobbing mess on the sidewalk. The drunk spits on the nun, and sneers.
"Yeah. . .not so f**...' tough NOW, eh Batman?"
I don't get all the rage about this new trend.
Donkey meat is really tough!
I'm starting an anger management group for mechanical engineers.
I'm calling it Machine Against the Rage
Girl, you're like p**......
You're toxic and fill me with uncontrollable rage.
This is a bad one
I was once at a party. After some time I noticed that I lost my watch. I was looking for it everywhere. I finally saw it laying on the floor on the other side of the room. When I got there, I witnessed how some guy stepped on it, while harassing a girl. Filled with rage I went up to him and punched him on the nose. No one treats a girl like that. Not on my watch!
P.s.: not mine I found it in the comments on pornhub
Another three friends brag about s**....
Friend A starts "I won the lottery last month and now women keep having s**... me, I've slept with at least one girl a night since!"
Friend B counters "Well I'm a model with over 2 million Instagram followers. I pick up several women a day all willing to have s**... with me!"
Friend C, in a fit of jealous rage kills both friends and screams over their corpses "Well now I'm going to prison so I'll have s**... everyday for the next 25 to life!"
Was in court with the ex wife over who'd get the kids in the divorce, she told the judge about the time I flew into a rage a threw an enitre trifle at her
So of course she got custardy.
A critic reads what the local newspapers say about him
The papers say that everything he says seems to contradict itself. Baffled and deeply offended by this, the critic loudly proclaimed:
"My rage is indescribable!"
An American is typing on a computer when he flies into a rage, shouting "How the h**... am I misspelling color"?
A Canadian takes a quick look at the screen before rolling his eyes and walking away, saying "that sounds like a you problem".
A blonde comes home early from work to find her husband in bed with another woman.
Shocked and furious, she pulls out a gun from her purse and points it at the couple on the bed. They recoil in fear.
But after a few seconds, the expression on the blondes face shifts from rage to one of sadness and despair.
She turns the gun away from the couple and points it at her own head.
Seeing this, her husband cries out, "Honey, wait...don't!"
She screams back at him, "Shut up! You're next!"
I told my friend that I never knew that Rage Against the Machine was so political, and that it really ruined the music for me.
He looked at me deadpan and asked, "What machine did you think they were r**... against, the dishwasher?
Did you know spiders go deaf if they have no legs?
Well it's true and here's why.
When I was a child I had a pet a spider. It was great I even trained him to jump. 'Jump' I'd shout and with a boing he'd leap into the air.
Well my brother saw this and in a jealous rage he pulled the spiders legs off!
I was heartbroken. 'Jump' I'd shout and the spider would just sit there. Not only had he lost his legs, he'd gone deaf too.
Jim and Joe are sitting at a bar drinking and jim asks where is John? Joe says John is missing . What happened asks Jim . Well joe says
John forgot his wedding anniversary again. His wife flew into a fit of rage, walked out to the driveway pointed to the ground and said., I want a present that goes from 0 to 200 really fast and I want it here by tomorrow morning.
Fine says Jim but that doesn't explain where John is.
Well continued Joe they next morning his wife woke up walked out side and saw a big box with a ribbon so she opened it and saw a new set of bathroom scales and John hasn't been seen since
An unknown number calls a man at work.
He immediately hangs up without saying anything.
His boss watches him do this and asks, "Why did you hang up?"
The man answers, "I didn't know the number".
His boss, seething with rage, shouts "CALL THEM BACK RIGHT NOW".
The man complied and calls them back, saying, "911, what's your emergency?"
A woman gets on a bus carrying her baby. The driver says 'Oh my, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen' The woman goes to her seat with an angry rage building. The man sat next her asks 'What's the matter?' To which the woman says the driver was so rude to her she might lose it...
'That's outrageous' says the man 'You should go and tell him off for whatever he said. Here, I'll hold your monkey for you whilst you do'
Pete and Repeat walk across a bridge. Pete falls off, who's left?
Admittedly it works better verbally, but my dad always liked to get me with this one. Without fail it would always send 5yr old me into fits of giggles and rage.
