Raffle Jokes
30 raffle jokes and hilarious raffle puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about raffle that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Looking for a good laugh? Check out our collection of funny raffle jokes! From tickets to draws, meat raffles and more, we've got jokes sure to entertain your guests and put a smile on their face! Find out who will be raking in the winnings and prizes after each raffle draw and learn what it takes to make your entries count.
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Funniest Raffle Short Jokes
Short raffle jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The raffle humour may include short lottery jokes also.
- What happens when you win a raffle twice that gave you five for the price of three on rugby tickets? You won two, three for five six nations tickets
- I saw a raffle at a graveyard... i knew something was wrong there, it was a dead giveaway...
- I entered a raffle to win a galaxy, but I only won a small group of stars. It was the constellation prize.
- A man walks into a bar. He has a pig under his arm. "Where did you get that?" asks the barman. "I won him in a raffle" replies the pig.
- I won the meat raffle in the bar.
Wasn't the answer my kids were expecting when they asked how I met their mother. - My friend has just got back from Africa and isn't feeling well He keeps buying raffle tickets. Im worried he has tombola...
- Did you hear about the people holding a raffle with the prize as a coffin? It was a dead giveaway.
- Prisoner A approaches Prisoner B... "Wanna buy a ticket for the Chief Wardens ball?"
"Nah. I don't dance."
"It's not a dance, it's a raffle". - A 1970's Raffle A raffle is being run by an American TV Station in the 1970's:
First prize: One week in Moscow
Second Prize: Two weeks in Moscow
Third Prize: Three weeks in Moscow - I won a raffle at a Home Depot once. They gave me a choice between a tool that can help me climb to high places, or a pair of goggles to protect my eyes.
I chose the latter.
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Raffle One Liners
Which raffle one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with raffle? I can suggest the ones about lotto and raid.
- Just bought a raffle ticket, top prize a Mediterranean cruise. Last week's was a rollover
- One time I won a raffle in England, turns out it was for knighthood. Boy was I Sir prized
- today i won a raffle. received a life supply of marmite, one whole jar.
- I used to think my wife was one in a million Now i think she was won in a raffle.
- Why don't Muslims have 50/50 raffles? Because you can't draw Mohammad.
- Who never wants to be drawn at a raffle? Mohammed
- Why didn't the vegan gamble at the meat raffle? Didn't want a brisket
- The man best known for inventing the raffle has sadly passed away RIP Tom Bola
- Sadly, the man who invented the raffle has passed away. R.I.P Tom Bola
- Your mother is like a Christmas raffle. $1 a s**....
Raffle Ticket Jokes
Here is a list of funny raffle ticket jokes and even better raffle ticket puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- I bought some raffle tickets from a local charity for a big fundraiser and won the early bird prize. It was a worm.
Rib-Tickling Raffle Jokes that Bring Friends Together
What funny jokes about raffle you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean rally jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make raffle pranks.
When I was a boy my dad gave me money....
When I was a boy my dad gave my money to go downtown and pay the electric bill but instead I bought raffle tickets for a chance to win a truck. I told my dad when I got home and he beat my a**... but the next morning in the driveway sat a new truck. We all held each other and cried, especially me because it was the truck from electric company there to turn the lights off.
....Dad beat my a**... again ....
When I was a boy, my dad gave me money to go downtown and pay the electric bill
But instead, I bought raffle tickets for a chance to win a new truck.
I told my dad when I got home and he beat my a**....
The next morning, however, there was a brand new truck in the driveway.
We all held each other and cried, especially me because it was the truck from the electric company there to turn off the lights.
So dad beat my a**... again
The father of five children had won a toy at a raffle.
He called his kids together to ask which one should have the present.
"Who is the most obedient?" he asked. "Who never talks back to Mother? Who does everything she says?"
The five kids answered in union. "Okay, Dad. You get the toy."
A dad joke with which we can all sympathize
The father of five children had won a toy at a raffle. He called his kids together to ask which one should get the present.
"Who is the most obedient?" he asked. "Who never talks back to mother? Who does everything she says?"
Five small voices answered in union, "Okay, dad. You get the toy."
Young Chuck
One fine old day, Young Chuck moved to Texas and bought a donkey from a farmer for $100.00.
The farmer agreed to deliver the donkey the next day.
The next day he drove up and said, 'Sorry son, but I have some bad news, the donkey died.'
Chuck replied, 'Well, then just give me my money back.'
The farmer said, 'Can't do that. I went and spent it already.'
Chuck said, 'OK, then, just bring me the dead donkey.'
The farmer asked, 'What ya gonna do with him?
Chuck said, 'I'm going to raffle him off.'
The farmer said 'You can't raffle off a dead donkey!'
Chuck said, 'Sure I can, watch me. I just won't tell anybody he's dead.'
A month later, the farmer met up with Chuck and asked, 'What happened with the dead donkey?'
Chuck said, 'I raffled him off. I sold 500 tickets at two dollars apiece and made a profit of $898.00.'
The farmer said, 'Didn't anyone complain?'
Chuck said, 'Just the guy who won. So I gave him his two dollars back.'
Chuck now works on Wall Street.
Once upon a time my dad gave me some money and told me to pay our power bill. However, I didn't pay it and instead spent all the money on a raffle where a new car was the prize. The very next day there was a brand new car in front of our house.
The car belonged to the electricians who came to cut our power off.
