Radio Jokes
140 radio jokes and hilarious radio puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about radio that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Looking for a laugh? Check out our collection of hilarious radio jokes. From classic jokes to modern favorites, these jokes are sure to make you smile.
Quick Jump To
- Short Radio Jokes
- Radio One Liners
- Radio Day Jokes
- Radio Station Jokes
- Radio Show Jokes
- Radio Host Jokes
- Ham Radio Jokes
- More Radio Jokes
Funniest Radio Short Jokes
Short radio jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The radio humour may include short broadcast jokes also.
- Today I saw an ad that said "radio for sale, $1, volume stuck on full." I thought, "I can't turn that down."
- If a man's signature is called a "John Hancock" what do you call a woman's? Historically insignificant.
Full disclosure: Heard on the radio this morning on my way to work. - I swear if I hear Uptown Funk one more time... I will smash my radio. Don't believe me? Just watch
- Just because someone found out how to connect a keyboard and a portable radio together doesn't make them a nerd That would be stereotyping.
- I walked in on my wife singing the other day.
Surprised, I said "Oh, I thought you were the radio."
Flattered, she asked "Did you come to listen?"
"No," I replied, "I came to turn it off." - "Are you coming over?" "Yes, I'm coming over." "We should probably stop talking using the radios, over."
- Two windmills stood on a hill with a radio. One turned to his friend and asked, What's your favourite music?
The other windmill said, I'm a big metal fan. - I saw an ad yesterday that said Radio for sale $1, volume is stuck on full blast. I said to myself well, I can't turn that down.
- Today I saw a car parked with a bumper sticker that said "I miss New york" So I smashed his window in and stole his radio.
- A blond girl turns on the radio and hears that 2 Brazilian men were killed As she starts to cry she asks "How many is a Brazilian?"
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Radio One Liners
Which radio one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with radio? I can suggest the ones about relay and audio.
- I could tell that my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and a radio.
- The police was talking on the radio
- Why can't a fish be a radio host? Because if he goes on air, he'll die.
- my wife is alot like pandora radio she is always asking me if I am still listening
- Why is Nicolas Cage's radio so loud? He doesn't know how to turn things down
- I heard about a double entendre contest on the radio So I entered my sister
- The Capitol is like my old, broken radio... ...neither have a working speaker.
- What frequency do police radios operate on? 100 niggahurts
- I can't get my satellite radio to work I'm having sirius issues
- What do pigs like to listen to? HAM radio
- Why did the pop band get cancer? They were radio active.
- A walkie talkie invited a lump of coal to dinner and a movie. Radio-carbon dating
- So a radio talks to another radio Over.
- GF: why do we need radios, our relationship is over Dude: our relationship is what?
- What's the first thing you should do when Nicki Minaj dies? Turn the radio back on
Radio Day Jokes
Here is a list of funny radio day jokes and even better radio day puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- I came across a podcast the other day hosted by a guy who dresses like a nun. It's called "Transistor Radio".
- I still remember the day that Paul Walker died... He was all over the radio.. and the windows.. and the seats.
- I'm selling this new shower radio I just bought a few days ago. It keeps singing the wrong lyrics.
- I listened to a colonialist radio station the other day on the way back from work It was just white noise.
- I went to a garage sale the other day, they had a radio with no volume control I just couldn't turn it down.
- My first day as a Chinese police officer me: guys...it happened again.
[police radio]: okay *sigh* push your fingers in gently toward each o… - Justin Timberlake came on my radio the other day I politely asked him to wipe it off.
- Today is national Radio day. Do you copy? 10-4
- Back in my day, we didn't have MTV... We had to smoke p**... and watch the radio!
Radio Station Jokes
Here is a list of funny radio station jokes and even better radio station puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- I've just been sacked as the weatherman at the local radio station Apparently I was too 'cheerful' when giving out the really bad weather reports!!!
That's it!! No more mist and ice guy. - What's the difference between chris brown and a radio station? Radio stations only have 90 minutes of nonstop hits.
- Gun loading announcement... Apparently my local radio station had an announcement on how to load a gun.
But I never got the bulletin. - I called into a Russian radio station to request that they play some U2... They shot me down :(
- Ever listen to the radio station WPMS? 3 weeks of the blues, one week of rag-time
- Which forks work at the radio station? Tuning Forks.
- A radio station said to call their hotline to win a prize All I got was a burnt hand
- I was scanning radio stations and landed on a religious show where the host made mention of Jesus's will. I thought wow, someone should read that. It would probably solve a lot of arguments.
- What is Harry Potter's favorite radio station? Sirius XM
- I heard Hotel California for the 6th time on the radio during my cross country road trip. You can change the station any time you like, but the song never leaves
Radio Show Jokes
Here is a list of funny radio show jokes and even better radio show puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- An elderly radio engineer showed up at the house instead of a plumber. "You said you needed some valves replaced."
- What do you call a fat female host of a talk radio show about fishing? A broadcasting broad casting broad.
- Did you hear about the fish who wanted to be a radio talk show host? Apparently he suffocated and died when he went on air.
- Did you hear about the radio personality who murdered his only son while broadcasting because he didn't want him to receive any inheritance? There was a lot of Dead heir on that show.
- What do you call a radio broadcast that'll knock you out in minutes? The Cosby show
- Why did the talk show host get cancer? Because he was really radio-active
- You hear about the new radio talk/comedy show in the Middle East ... ? Isis in the Morning ? You should catch it sometime - it's a real blast !
- CL Ryans Chat Logs: Vol #1 – Cult Radio Show
- If I started a radio show with one of Smosh, I'd call it... OP and Anthony
- What do you call a h**... with a runny nose? Full
I heard this on a radio show and thought it was worth sharing
Radio Host Jokes
Here is a list of funny radio host jokes and even better radio host puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- How many Public Radio hosts does it take to screw in a lightbulb? We'll be back with that answer right after this pledge break.
- What did the Spanish radio host say after broadcast? Audios
- I was going to dress up as a CBC radio host for Halloween this year... ... but, I choked.
- If I were a radio host And now a song for my dear friend Alan that is sitting on his couch m**... furiously.
This is Michael Jackson's «Beat IT»
Ham Radio Jokes
Here is a list of funny ham radio jokes and even better ham radio puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- How does a Ham Radio buff send a break-up message? Remorse Code
- Where do pigs hear their favorite songs? On the Ham Radio!
Delightful Fun Radio Jokes for a Roaring Good Time
What funny jokes about radio you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean television jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make radio pranks.
An old ukrainian is cleaning his hunting rifle one day when his grandson runs in
"Grandfather, the radio says that the Russians have gone into space!"
"All of them?" he asks, putting down his rifle.
"No, only one."
He starts cleaning the rifle again.
Lady barges into radio shack
She grabs at the nearest employee and exclaims:
"I need a pack of double A batteries RIGHT NOW!"
The employee, flustered, replies: "All right, stay calm and just ... come this way", as he gestures her to follow him with a wave of his fingers.
She yells "If I could do that, I wouldn't need the batteries!"
A middle school in Oregon
According to a radio report, a middle school in Oregon was faced with a unique problem. A number of girls were beginning to use lipstick and would put it on in the bathroom. That was fine, but after they put on their lipstick they would press their lips to the mirrors leaving dozens of little lip prints.
Finally the principal decided that something had to be done. She called all the girls to the bathroom and met them there with the custodian. She explained that all these lip prints were causing a major problem for the custodian who had to clean the mirrors every day. To demonstrate how difficult it was to clean the mirrors, she asked the custodian to clean one of the mirrors. He took out a long-handled brush, dipped it into the toilet and scrubbed the mirror.
Since then there have been no lip prints on the mirror.
Missing South Africa
In Toronto I saw a bumper sticker on a parked car that read:
"I miss South africa."
So I broke the window, took the radio and left a note that read:
"I hope this helps."
Considerate.
*An old silly one...but a grin inducer nevertheless*
Mr. Fienstein called the FM radio station and said "I've found a wallet with $400, a credit card and an ID card belonging to Mr. Smith, No.13,Halls Rd, Jackson, TN."
To which the radio jockey says " Oh how honest. So you want his wallet returned back to him?"
Mr. Fieinstein says "No……. I just wanted you to play a sad song for him".
What do s**... and air have in common?
It's no big deal unless you aren't getting any.
Heard on the radio.
Snow wife.
One winter morning while listening to the radio, Bob and his wife hear the announcer say, "We are going to have 4-6 inches of snow today.
You must park your car on the even numbered side of the street, so the snowplow can get through."
Bob's wife goes out and moves her car.
A week later while they are eating breakfast, the radio announcer says, "We are expecting 6-8 inches of snow today. You must park your car on the odd numbered side of the street, so the snowplow can get through."
Bob's wife goes out and moves her car again.
The next week they are having breakfast again, when the radio announcer says, "We are expecting 8-10 inches of snow today. You must park..." then the electric power goes out.
Bob's wife is very upset, and with a worried look on her face she says, "Honey, I don't know what to do. Which side of the street do I need to park on so the plow can get through?"
With the love and understanding in his voice like all men who are married to blondes exhibit, Bob says, "Why don't you just leave it in the garage this time?"
Wrong way
Anna was worried about her husband: he was not home yet from his trip to Birmingham. She phoned him on his mobile, "Where are you, dear?"
"I'm on the M1," he replied.
"I was so worried about you," she said. "The radio reported that some fool was driving along the M1 the wrong way."
"Just one??" he retorted, "There are hundreds of them!!"
I've been working on my favorite puns...
I took ten of the best puns I knew and entered them into a local radio contest, hoping that one would win.
Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.
Blonde Co-Pilot
This is the story of the poor dizzy blonde flying in a two-seater airplane with just the pilot.
He has a heart attack and dies. She, frantic, calls out for help.
"May Day! May Day! Help me! Help me! My pilot had a heart attack and is dead. And I don't know how to fly. Help me! Please help me!"
She hears a voice over the radio saying:
"This is Air Traffic Control and I have you loud and clear. I will talk you through this and get you back on the ground. I've had a lot of experience with this kind of problem. Now, just take a deep breath. Everything will be fine! First, give me your height and position."
She says, "I'm 5'4" and I'm in the front seat."
"O.K." says the voice on the radio.... "repeat after me: Our Father...Who art in Heaven....."
I was in Florida recently to visit a good friend...
and saw a bumper sticker on a parked car that read, "I miss Detroit."
So I broke the window, stole the radio, and left a note that read...
"I hope this helps."
As she watches the news, an elderly woman calls her husband in concern.
She knows he is driving home, so she calls his cell phone.
"Dear, please be careful on the road today! I just heard on the radio that there is a driver going the wrong way down the highway."
Her husband replies, "Oh, it's not just one. There are hundreds of them!"
Hope it's not a repost, heard this on the radio today...
Cheech and Chong are partying down in Tijuana, when they spot a dog up the road a ways.
Looking closer, they see the dog is frolicking about in the intersection, having a great time l**... himself.
Cheech exclaims, "Man! I wish I could do that!"
Chong replies, "well... maybe you should try to pet him first, man."
Told by a 5 year old boy live on local radio: Why did Mr humpty dumpy push Mrs humpty dumpy off the wall?
.....So he could see her crack....
A misunderstanding
A girl is driving down the highway listening to the radio when a song comes on that she really, really likes. The DJ says the name of that song was "Hot lips and tender kisses." The girl says to herself I've got to buy that record. She pulls over and looks up the phone number for the nearest record store. She dials the number but makes a mistake while dialing and instead of calling a record store she has called an auto mechanic. The phone rings and the mechanic picks up the phone. The girl says, excitedly, "Do you have hot lips and tender kisses?" The mechanic is a little confused, but responds, "No, but I've got hot pants and seven inches." The girl responds, "Is that a record?" The mechanic says, "No, but it's better than average."
!!BAD DRIVERS!!
There's a senior citizen driving on the highway. His wife calls him on his cell phone and in a worried voice says, "**David, be careful!** I just heard on the radio that there was a madman driving the wrong way on Route 280!"
David says, "I know, but there isn't just one, **there are hundreds!**"
In 1941, a German boy named Hans was listening to the radio.
Over the radio, h**... announced that Germany was now going to war with the United States.
"Father, where's the United States?" asked Hans. His father pointed on a map to the continental nation in North America.
"And I'm told we're already at war with Russia," the curious lad continued. "Where is Russia?" His father pointed to where Soviet Russia lay in all its time zone-hogging glory.
"And we're also at war with the British Empire," added Hans. "Where is that?" His father pointed out all the territories of the empire upon which the sun never set.
"And where is Germany?" asked Hans. His father pointed to their country in central Europe.
Hans thought for a moment and then said, "Father, has h**... seen this map?"
Two policemen . . .
Two policemen call the station on their radio.
"Hello. ..... Is this the Sarge?"
"Yes?"
"We have a case here, Sarge. A woman has shot her husband
dead for stepping on the floor she had mopped."
"Have you arrested the woman?"
"No sir. The floor is still wet."
Dear JUSTIN BEIBER haters...
Dear JUSTIN BEIBER haters*
.
.
.
I owe my life to justin.
On march 9th, 2012 I was in a coma for 6 months after a terrible car c**....
One day my nurse turned the radio to Justin's song, So I got up and turned the radio off.
An elderly man was out on a drive...
An elderly man was out on a drive when he received a phone call from his wife.
"Honey, be careful. I just heard on the radio that one idiot out there is driving the wrong way on the highway."
To which he replied, "Are you kidding me? There are hundreds of them!"
Police talking on the radio...
* Sergeant, we've arrived at the scene.
* So, what's the situation?
* A woman killed her husband. There were 35 stab wounds, two gunshot wounds, and after decapitating him, she finally burned his body.
* Wow, what was the reason she gave for the crime?
* He stepped where she was cleaning the floor.
* Did you manage to capture the woman?
* No, Sergeant. We are waiting for the floor to dry ...
Why are r**... crimes so hard to solve...
Because everyone has the same DNA and there are no dental records.
.
.
.
.
Not original, I heard it on satellite radio yesterday.
How can you tell a mechanic recently had s**...?
He has 1 clean finger.
src: heard on radio yesterday
Two old friends meet in bar...
[translated from Turkish]
-Hey Jack! How have you been! It's been months!
-Bonjour Monsieur ! Indeed, it's been a while
-"Bonjour Monsieur"? What's this French?
-Mais biensur !
-Don't screw with me Jack. I know you don't know French. We both went to the same school and we never had any French lessons!!
-No, no! I'm learning via the radio. 99.3 FM. Every day at 10AM you have French lessons. Very easy, I suggest you try.
-Oh, ok, cool I'll give a try tomorrow.
Next morning he calls Jack:
-Yo Jack, I have those old radios with a needle for tuning. Does it work with those old radios too?
-Sure! Scroll to 99, then go a little further to the right.
-Oh cool! Thx!
-Mais de rien !
-oh! s**... already...
Couple of weeks later, he meets Jack again. And Jack asks:
-Salut mon ami, How is your French?
- Shhhszzzzoussssshzzziuhli! (static noise)
[probably not the best written joke :/]
Did you know princess diana was on the radio during her car accident?
She was also on the dash, windshield and the hood
A radio wave walks into a bar and asks for a pint.
The barman says, "here you go, but why the long phase?"
A drunk guy calls a radio station...
...and tells the RJ,"I found this purse outside Raven's club. It has 1500 dollars in cash, a credit card, an iPhone 6s, and a driving license with Rebecca's name on it."
The RJ asks in an impressed tone,"It was good of you to call us. Do you need my help contacting her so that you can return the purse?"
"No. I just wanted to request a sad song for Rebecca."
Ooooh it's ever so sad
At a boat rental company, the radio operator said into the microphone: "boat 99, your hour is up, please head in."
An employee walks up to him and says: "We only have 75 boats, sir there is no boat 99."
The radio operator says: "Boat 66, are you in trouble?"
What does the flint water crises and Chicago PD have in common?
The amount of lead put into black people.
(It was funnier over the radio)
I was travelling on the West Coast when I saw a bumper sticker on a parked car that said: "I miss Detroit"
...so I broke a window, stole the radio, and left a note that said, "Hope this helps."
I walked into a shop and saw a radio for sale because the volume was stuck on high...
...I thought, I can't turn this down!
A blonde is driving in her car and turns on the radio..
It says that two Brazilian men were killed. She stats crying and says, "How many is a brazilian?"
Wife: We're not talking over the radio. This relationship is over.
Husband: This relationship is what? Over.
A devout Muslim entered a cab in London
He curtly asked the cabbie to turn off the radio, because as decreed by his religious teaching, he must not listen to music, because in the time of the prophet there was no music especially western music, which is the music of the infidel.
The cab driver politely switched off the radio, stopped the cab, and opened the door. The Arab asked him, "What are you doing?" The cabbie answered,
"In the time of the prophet, there were no taxis, so get off and wait for a camel!"
A police officer called his station back on Radio.
He was at a m**... scene where an old woman shot her husband for stepping on just mopped floor.
Dispatch: So was an Arrest made ?
Officer: Not yet.
Dispatch: ?
Officer: The floor is still wet.
I won $100 on a radio competition this morning.
The DJ called me and said, We are going live in a few seconds, I'm going to ask you what you're going to spend your money on and I want you to tell the listeners on air.
Okay I replied.
He said, 3…2….1….. Congratulations to Lefty, our competition winner, what are you going to spend the money on?
I said, I'm going to spend it on air.
A Grand Prize
I phoned my local radio station today.
When the guy answered the phone he said, "Congratulations on being our 1st caller, all you have to do is answer the next question correctly to win our grand prize."
"Wahoo!" I shouted in delight.
"It's a Maths question," he said. "Feeling
confident?"
"I've got a degree in Maths and I teach it at my local school," I proudly replied.
"Okay then, to win 2 VIP tickets to see Justin Bieber and to meet him back stage afterwards, what's 2+2?"
"7," I replied.
Hey Grandma, be careful. They said on the radio someone is driving the wrong way down the highway.
"That's funny, I see hundreds of them"
Princess Dianna was on the radio the night she died.
And the steering wheel, and the dashboard, and the windshield...
My wife's favorite song is "Ain't No Sunshine" by Bill Withers. She says so every time it's on the radio.
I reply "I know, I know, I know, I know, I know..."
English navy ship is sinking...
They are sending message on the radio: "MAY DAY, MAY DAY!! WE ARE SINKING!"
A German ship hears their message and responds: " Zis is German Navy Ship. What are you sinking about?"
Were those peace times or war times, I cannot tell... either way it's funny :)
Think New Yorkers don't get along? I just saw two complete strangers share a cab...
One took the wheels and tires, the other took the battery and the radio.
Good night kids
Me : good night kids
Kids : good night dad
Me : good night monster under the bed who eats bad kids
Wife ( through radio under the bed) : good night
Two radio antennas got married...
The wedding wasn't much but the reception was fantastic !
An elderly woman called 911...
An elderly woman called 911 from her cell phone to report that her car had been broken into.
"They've stolen everything! My radio is gone, my center console is gone, my mirror and the rosary beads hanging from it...even the steering wheel!"
The dispatcher responds that an officer is on the way.
Minutes later, the officer arrives and radios back into dispatch.
"Disregard that last call. She got in the back seat by mistake."
Did you hear about Paul Walker on the radio?
And the dashboard and pretty much the rest of the interior
I saw an ad on Craigslist "Radio, $1, volume stuck on high."
I thought, "I can't turn that down...
Guy calls in on radio show
**Guy**: Hey! I found this wallet with $2k, an Amazon gift card, and it says it belongs to someone named 'Ryan'
**Host**: Oh how nice of you. Do you want me to ask Ryan to reclaim it?
**Guy**: No, I want to request a sad song for Ryan
A man is driving down the freeway
when his wife calls him. He picks up and asks what the matter is. She says, "I want you to be careful honey, I heard on the radio there's a lunatic barreling down the highway going the wrong way." He replies, "it's much worse than that, there's hundreds of them
I forgot how much I hated Nickelback until you blasted their song on the radio...
And this is how you remind me?!!!
"Man, if I had listened my father when I was 8, I could've been rich today"
Friend: What did he say?
Me: I dunno, I didn't listen.
Heard that on the radio today
A young boy is listening to the radio in the car with his father. Dad, what music did you like growing up?
I was a huge fan of Led Zeppelin, the father replies.
Who? the son asks.
Yeah, the dad responds, I liked them too.
The Exorcist star Linda Blair turns 62 today and still looks amazing
She is still turning heads.
(Heard this one on the radio this morning.)
My dad gave up his job of being a late night radio DJ.
He took up a new job as a railway construction worker. Talk about a career change, but I guess he just couldn't give up his love for laying tracks.
A British ship is sinking.
The radio operator is sending out a distress call saying "Mayday, mayday we are sinking. Please help."
A few kilometers away, a German ship hears the call, and the radio operator, who doesn't speak English very well and is new on the job, answers
"uh hello, we hear you. Um, what are you sinking about?"
What do you call an average radio?
Stereo typical
My thirteen-year-old came up with this and I promised to post it to Reddit.
What font does alphabet soup use?
Times New Ramen.
*Credit for this goes to Kim Komando. I heard it on the radio earlier today.*
A police officer called the station on his radio.
I have an interesting situation here. An old lady shot her husband for stepping on the floor she just mopped."
Have you arrested the woman?
No, the floor's still wet.
The guy who received the first pig heart transplant gave a radio interview yesterday
I tried to listen, but I could only hear crackling
Not sure if that one has already been here, if so - I apologize
A man drives his car on the highway, when he hears the following traffic warning on the radio "Drivers, be careful there is a wrong way driver coming on the highway 9 in the direction of Berlin."
"Whaat?", shouts out the man to himself. "One?? More like a thousand of them!!"
Why can't a pulsar be observed by any computer controlled optical telescope?
Video killed the radio star.
A blonde is driving on the interstate…
Her husband calls her and says... "Be careful darling, it's just been on the radio that someone is driving the wrong way on the interstate" "Someone?" she replies, "theres hundreds of em!"
Dear Justin Bieber haters...please respect him.
.
.
I owe my life to Justin. Last August 16,2014 I was in a coma for 4 months due to a terrible car accident.
One day my nurse turned the radio to Justin's song...
So I got up...and turned off the radio.
An English sailor just off the coast of Germany discovers that his boat is taking on water.
Alarmed, he calls the German coastguard by radio: "Hello coastguard, I'm sinking, I'm sinking!"
There is a pause for a few seconds, before the coastguard replies, "OK ... Vat are you sinking about?"
