Radio Jokes
132 radio jokes and hilarious radio puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about radio that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Looking for a laugh? Check out our collection of hilarious radio jokes. From classic jokes to modern favorites, these jokes are sure to make you smile.
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Funniest Radio Short Jokes
Short radio jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The radio humour may include short broadcast jokes also.
- Today I saw an ad that said "radio for sale, $1, volume stuck on full." I thought, "I can't turn that down."
- If a man's signature is called a "John Hancock" what do you call a woman's? Historically insignificant.
Full disclosure: Heard on the radio this morning on my way to work. - Just because someone found out how to connect a keyboard and a portable radio together doesn't make them a nerd That would be stereotyping.
- I walked in on my wife singing the other day.
Surprised, I said "Oh, I thought you were the radio."
Flattered, she asked "Did you come to listen?"
"No," I replied, "I came to turn it off." - "Are you coming over?" "Yes, I'm coming over." "We should probably stop talking using the radios, over."
- Today I saw a car parked with a bumper sticker that said "I miss New york" So I smashed his window in and stole his radio.
- A blond girl turns on the radio and hears that 2 Brazilian men were killed As she starts to cry she asks "How many is a Brazilian?"
- Wife: We're not talking over the radio. This relationship is over. Husband: This relationship is what? Over.
- I was travelling on the West Coast when I saw a bumper sticker on a parked car that said: "I miss Detroit" ...so I broke a window, stole the radio, and left a note that said, "Hope this helps."
- Missing South Africa In Toronto I saw a bumper sticker on a parked car that read:
"I miss South africa."
So I broke the window, took the radio and left a note that read:
"I hope this helps."
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Radio One Liners
Which radio one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with radio? I can suggest the ones about relay and audio.
- I could tell that my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and a radio.
- The police was talking on the radio
- Why can't a fish be a radio host? Because if he goes on air, he'll die.
- my wife is alot like pandora radio she is always asking me if I am still listening
- Why is Nicolas Cage's radio so loud? He doesn't know how to turn things down
- I heard about a double entendre contest on the radio So I entered my sister
- The Capitol is like my old, broken radio... ...neither have a working speaker.
- I can't get my satellite radio to work I'm having sirius issues
- What do pigs like to listen to? HAM radio
- Why did the pop band get cancer? They were radio active.
- So a radio talks to another radio Over.
- GF: why do we need radios, our relationship is over Dude: our relationship is what?
- What's the first thing you should do when Nicki Minaj dies? Turn the radio back on
- What do you get when you cross an avocado with a two way radio? A Guackie-talkie
- What do you call Bruce Lee pulling a Radio Flyer? Enter the wagon.
Radio Day Jokes
Here is a list of funny radio day jokes and even better radio day puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- I came across a podcast the other day hosted by a guy who dresses like a nun. It's called "Transistor Radio".
- I still remember the day that Paul Walker died... He was all over the radio.. and the windows.. and the seats.
- I'm selling this new shower radio I just bought a few days ago. It keeps singing the wrong lyrics.
- I listened to a colonialist radio station the other day on the way back from work It was just white noise.
- I went to a garage sale the other day, they had a radio with no volume control I just couldn't turn it down.
- My first day as a Chinese police officer me: guys...it happened again.
[police radio]: okay *sigh* push your fingers in gently toward each o… - Justin Timberlake came on my radio the other day I politely asked him to wipe it off.
- Today is national Radio day. Do you copy? 10-4
Radio Station Jokes
Here is a list of funny radio station jokes and even better radio station puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- I've just been sacked as the weatherman at the local radio station Apparently I was too 'cheerful' when giving out the really bad weather reports!!!
That's it!! No more mist and ice guy. - What's the difference between chris brown and a radio station? Radio stations only have 90 minutes of nonstop hits.
- Gun loading announcement... Apparently my local radio station had an announcement on how to load a gun.
But I never got the bulletin. - I called into a Russian radio station to request that they play some U2... They shot me down :(
- Ever listen to the radio station WPMS? 3 weeks of the blues, one week of rag-time
- Which forks work at the radio station? Tuning Forks.
- A radio station said to call their hotline to win a prize All I got was a burnt hand
- I was scanning radio stations and landed on a religious show where the host made mention of Jesus's will. I thought wow, someone should read that. It would probably solve a lot of arguments.
- What is Harry Potter's favorite radio station? Sirius XM
- I heard Hotel California for the 6th time on the radio during my cross country road trip. You can change the station any time you like, but the song never leaves
Radio Show Jokes
Here is a list of funny radio show jokes and even better radio show puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- An elderly radio engineer showed up at the house instead of a plumber. "You said you needed some valves replaced."
- What do you call a fat female host of a talk radio show about fishing? A broadcasting broad casting broad.
- Did you hear about the radio personality who murdered his only son while broadcasting because he didn't want him to receive any inheritance? There was a lot of Dead heir on that show.
- What do you call a radio broadcast that'll knock you out in minutes? The Cosby show
- Why did the talk show host get cancer? Because he was really radio-active
- You hear about the new radio talk/comedy show in the Middle East ... ? Isis in the Morning ? You should catch it sometime - it's a real blast !
- CL Ryans Chat Logs: Vol #1 – Cult Radio Show
- If I started a radio show with one of Smosh, I'd call it... OP and Anthony
Radio Host Jokes
Here is a list of funny radio host jokes and even better radio host puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- How many Public Radio hosts does it take to screw in a lightbulb? We'll be back with that answer right after this pledge break.
- What did the Spanish radio host say after broadcast? Audios
- I was going to dress up as a CBC radio host for Halloween this year... ... but, I choked.
Ham Radio Jokes
Here is a list of funny ham radio jokes and even better ham radio puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- How does a Ham Radio buff send a break-up message? Remorse Code
Delightful Fun Radio Jokes for a Roaring Good Time
What funny jokes about radio you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean television jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make radio pranks.
An old ukrainian is cleaning his hunting rifle one day when his grandson runs in
"Grandfather, the radio says that the Russians have gone into space!"
"All of them?" he asks, putting down his rifle.
"No, only one."
He starts cleaning the rifle again.
Lady barges into radio shack
She grabs at the nearest employee and exclaims:
"I need a pack of double A batteries RIGHT NOW!"
The employee, flustered, replies: "All right, stay calm and just ... come this way", as he gestures her to follow him with a wave of his fingers.
She yells "If I could do that, I wouldn't need the batteries!"
A middle school in Oregon
According to a radio report, a middle school in Oregon was faced with a unique problem. A number of girls were beginning to use lipstick and would put it on in the bathroom. That was fine, but after they put on their lipstick they would press their lips to the mirrors leaving dozens of little lip prints.
Finally the principal decided that something had to be done. She called all the girls to the bathroom and met them there with the custodian. She explained that all these lip prints were causing a major problem for the custodian who had to clean the mirrors every day. To demonstrate how difficult it was to clean the mirrors, she asked the custodian to clean one of the mirrors. He took out a long-handled brush, dipped it into the toilet and scrubbed the mirror.
Since then there have been no lip prints on the mirror.
Considerate.
*An old silly one...but a grin inducer nevertheless*
Mr. Fienstein called the FM radio station and said "I've found a wallet with $400, a credit card and an ID card belonging to Mr. Smith, No.13,Halls Rd, Jackson, TN."
To which the radio jockey says " Oh how honest. So you want his wallet returned back to him?"
Mr. Fieinstein says "No……. I just wanted you to play a sad song for him".
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Heard on the radio and could not resist repeating...
"My ex-girlfriend never asked me use a c**...."
"Because she was on the pill."
"Ambien."
Snow wife.
One winter morning while listening to the radio, Bob and his wife hear the announcer say, "We are going to have 4-6 inches of snow today.
You must park your car on the even numbered side of the street, so the snowplow can get through."
Bob's wife goes out and moves her car.
A week later while they are eating breakfast, the radio announcer says, "We are expecting 6-8 inches of snow today. You must park your car on the odd numbered side of the street, so the snowplow can get through."
Bob's wife goes out and moves her car again.
The next week they are having breakfast again, when the radio announcer says, "We are expecting 8-10 inches of snow today. You must park..." then the electric power goes out.
Bob's wife is very upset, and with a worried look on her face she says, "Honey, I don't know what to do. Which side of the street do I need to park on so the plow can get through?"
With the love and understanding in his voice like all men who are married to blondes exhibit, Bob says, "Why don't you just leave it in the garage this time?"
Wrong way
Anna was worried about her husband: he was not home yet from his trip to Birmingham. She phoned him on his mobile, "Where are you, dear?"
"I'm on the M1," he replied.
"I was so worried about you," she said. "The radio reported that some fool was driving along the M1 the wrong way."
"Just one??" he retorted, "There are hundreds of them!!"
Blonde Co-Pilot
This is the story of the poor dizzy blonde flying in a two-seater airplane with just the pilot.
He has a heart attack and dies. She, frantic, calls out for help.
"May Day! May Day! Help me! Help me! My pilot had a heart attack and is dead. And I don't know how to fly. Help me! Please help me!"
She hears a voice over the radio saying:
"This is Air Traffic Control and I have you loud and clear. I will talk you through this and get you back on the ground. I've had a lot of experience with this kind of problem. Now, just take a deep breath. Everything will be fine! First, give me your height and position."
She says, "I'm 5'4" and I'm in the front seat."
"O.K." says the voice on the radio.... "repeat after me: Our Father...Who art in Heaven....."
When is a fetus viable?
To a Christian, it's the moment of conception. To a Jew, it's when he graduates from medical school.
-my mom heard this on the radio
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Hope it's not a repost, heard this on the radio today...
Cheech and Chong are partying down in Tijuana, when they spot a dog up the road a ways.
Looking closer, they see the dog is frolicking about in the intersection, having a great time l**... himself.
Cheech exclaims, "Man! I wish I could do that!"
Chong replies, "well... maybe you should try to pet him first, man."
Told by a 5 year old boy live on local radio: Why did Mr humpty dumpy push Mrs humpty dumpy off the wall?
.....So he could see her crack....
A misunderstanding
A girl is driving down the highway listening to the radio when a song comes on that she really, really likes. The DJ says the name of that song was "Hot lips and tender kisses." The girl says to herself I've got to buy that record. She pulls over and looks up the phone number for the nearest record store. She dials the number but makes a mistake while dialing and instead of calling a record store she has called an auto mechanic. The phone rings and the mechanic picks up the phone. The girl says, excitedly, "Do you have hot lips and tender kisses?" The mechanic is a little confused, but responds, "No, but I've got hot pants and seven inches." The girl responds, "Is that a record?" The mechanic says, "No, but it's better than average."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
In 1941, a German boy named Hans was listening to the radio.
Over the radio, h**... announced that Germany was now going to war with the United States.
"Father, where's the United States?" asked Hans. His father pointed on a map to the continental nation in North America.
"And I'm told we're already at war with Russia," the curious lad continued. "Where is Russia?" His father pointed to where Soviet Russia lay in all its time zone-hogging glory.
"And we're also at war with the British Empire," added Hans. "Where is that?" His father pointed out all the territories of the empire upon which the sun never set.
"And where is Germany?" asked Hans. His father pointed to their country in central Europe.
Hans thought for a moment and then said, "Father, has h**... seen this map?"
An elderly man was out on a drive...
An elderly man was out on a drive when he received a phone call from his wife.
"Honey, be careful. I just heard on the radio that one idiot out there is driving the wrong way on the highway."
To which he replied, "Are you kidding me? There are hundreds of them!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why are r**... crimes so hard to solve...
Because everyone has the same DNA and there are no dental records.
.
.
.
.
Not original, I heard it on satellite radio yesterday.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Two old friends meet in bar...
[translated from Turkish]
-Hey Jack! How have you been! It's been months!
-Bonjour Monsieur ! Indeed, it's been a while
-"Bonjour Monsieur"? What's this French?
-Mais biensur !
-Don't screw with me Jack. I know you don't know French. We both went to the same school and we never had any French lessons!!
-No, no! I'm learning via the radio. 99.3 FM. Every day at 10AM you have French lessons. Very easy, I suggest you try.
-Oh, ok, cool I'll give a try tomorrow.
Next morning he calls Jack:
-Yo Jack, I have those old radios with a needle for tuning. Does it work with those old radios too?
-Sure! Scroll to 99, then go a little further to the right.
-Oh cool! Thx!
-Mais de rien !
-oh! s**... already...
Couple of weeks later, he meets Jack again. And Jack asks:
-Salut mon ami, How is your French?
- Shhhszzzzoussssshzzziuhli! (static noise)
[probably not the best written joke :/]
A radio wave walks into a bar and asks for a pint.
The barman says, "here you go, but why the long phase?"
A drunk guy calls a radio station...
...and tells the RJ,"I found this purse outside Raven's club. It has 1500 dollars in cash, a credit card, an iPhone 6s, and a driving license with Rebecca's name on it."
The RJ asks in an impressed tone,"It was good of you to call us. Do you need my help contacting her so that you can return the purse?"
"No. I just wanted to request a sad song for Rebecca."
Ooooh it's ever so sad
At a boat rental company, the radio operator said into the microphone: "boat 99, your hour is up, please head in."
An employee walks up to him and says: "We only have 75 boats, sir there is no boat 99."
The radio operator says: "Boat 66, are you in trouble?"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A devout Muslim entered a cab in London
He curtly asked the cabbie to turn off the radio, because as decreed by his religious teaching, he must not listen to music, because in the time of the prophet there was no music especially western music, which is the music of the infidel.
The cab driver politely switched off the radio, stopped the cab, and opened the door. The Arab asked him, "What are you doing?" The cabbie answered,
"In the time of the prophet, there were no taxis, so get off and wait for a camel!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Two cops contacts with h**... via radio:
- Send in a team ... - What is situation? - The m**..., the victim is a man, 38 years old, his mother struck him with a knife several times for entering on the wet, just cleaned floor. - Did you arrest her? - No, the floor still wet.
What do you do if you miss your mother-in-law?
Reload.
(Thanks Bob Dylan via Theme Time Radio Hour)
I won $100 on a radio competition this morning.
The DJ called me and said, We are going live in a few seconds, I'm going to ask you what you're going to spend your money on and I want you to tell the listeners on air.
Okay I replied.
He said, 3…2….1….. Congratulations to Lefty, our competition winner, what are you going to spend the money on?
I said, I'm going to spend it on air.
A Grand Prize
I phoned my local radio station today.
When the guy answered the phone he said, "Congratulations on being our 1st caller, all you have to do is answer the next question correctly to win our grand prize."
"Wahoo!" I shouted in delight.
"It's a Maths question," he said. "Feeling
confident?"
"I've got a degree in Maths and I teach it at my local school," I proudly replied.
"Okay then, to win 2 VIP tickets to see Justin Bieber and to meet him back stage afterwards, what's 2+2?"
"7," I replied.
Hey Grandma, be careful. They said on the radio someone is driving the wrong way down the highway.
"That's funny, I see hundreds of them"
German ocean rescue radio headquarter
*A call comes to the radio*
"German Ocean Rescue, what is your problem?"
"Help, we are sinking, we are sinking!"
"What are you sinking about?"
Princess Dianna was on the radio the night she died.
And the steering wheel, and the dashboard, and the windshield...
My wife's favorite song is "Ain't No Sunshine" by Bill Withers. She says so every time it's on the radio.
I reply "I know, I know, I know, I know, I know..."
English navy ship is sinking...
They are sending message on the radio: "MAY DAY, MAY DAY!! WE ARE SINKING!"
A German ship hears their message and responds: " Zis is German Navy Ship. What are you sinking about?"
Were those peace times or war times, I cannot tell... either way it's funny :)
Think New Yorkers don't get along? I just saw two complete strangers share a cab...
One took the wheels and tires, the other took the battery and the radio.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Good night kids
Me : good night kids
Kids : good night dad
Me : good night monster under the bed who eats bad kids
Wife ( through radio under the bed) : good night
An old man was driving along the highway...
...when a traffic emergency came on the radio.
"Attention all drivers on Highway 11, there is a lunatic driving on the wrong side of the road!"
The old man muttered to himself; "A lunatic? More like hundreds!"
An elderly woman called 911...
An elderly woman called 911 from her cell phone to report that her car had been broken into.
"They've stolen everything! My radio is gone, my center console is gone, my mirror and the rosary beads hanging from it...even the steering wheel!"
The dispatcher responds that an officer is on the way.
Minutes later, the officer arrives and radios back into dispatch.
"Disregard that last call. She got in the back seat by mistake."
Did you hear about Paul Walker on the radio?
And the dashboard and pretty much the rest of the interior
A new conspiracy theory states Priness Diana was actually on the radio shortly after the supposed accident that killed her.
And the windshield, and the dashboard...
^^^I ^^^feel ^^^dirty
A man is riding through the highway listening to the radio...
Suddenly the radio starts booming: Traffic alert. There is a car driving on the wrong side of the road in Route 54. Please avoid entering the highway until further notice.
The man, confused at this alert thinks to himself One car? There are hundreds of them!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Guy calls in on radio show
**Guy**: Hey! I found this wallet with $2k, an Amazon gift card, and it says it belongs to someone named 'Ryan'
**Host**: Oh how nice of you. Do you want me to ask Ryan to reclaim it?
**Guy**: No, I want to request a sad song for Ryan
I turned on the radio and forgot I had the volume maxed out.
Now my left and right ear hertz a lot.
Two polar bears are sitting in a bathtub.
One of the bears says:
"Can you pass the soap?"
The other bear says:
"No soap, radio."
There is a conspiracy theory that claims Princess Diana was on the radio after her reported death.
I'd like to confirm this was completely true, she WAS on the radio, and the dashboard, the steering wheel, the back of the seats and the windscreen.
One of life's most soul crushing moments occurs every time that a song comes on the radio .....
And you think you are about to hear Under Pressure by Queen only to find out it's Ice Ice Baby by Vanilla Ice.
There is an elephant and a giraffe in the bathroom
The giraffe says "pass the soap, please"
And the elephant says "no soap, radio!"
I forgot how much I hated Nickelback until you blasted their song on the radio...
And this is how you remind me?!!!
"Man, if I had listened my father when I was 8, I could've been rich today"
Friend: What did he say?
Me: I dunno, I didn't listen.
Heard that on the radio today
A young boy is listening to the radio in the car with his father. Dad, what music did you like growing up?
I was a huge fan of Led Zeppelin, the father replies.
Who? the son asks.
Yeah, the dad responds, I liked them too.
The Exorcist star Linda Blair turns 62 today and still looks amazing
She is still turning heads.
(Heard this one on the radio this morning.)
My dad gave up his job of being a late night radio DJ.
He took up a new job as a railway construction worker. Talk about a career change, but I guess he just couldn't give up his love for laying tracks.
What do you call an average radio?
Stereo typical
My thirteen-year-old came up with this and I promised to post it to Reddit.
Why did the conspiracy theorist tell the radio repairman to take his time?
Because there was no rush
My dad always says not to crank the car radio too high or I'll go deaf. Imagine if that happened.
I would never hear the end of it.
Somewhere over Belarus a pilot just had a radio call
Pilot to crew: We are requested to land immediately.
Please prepare the cabin.
Crew: Why, what is happening?
Pilot: Threat of an explosive.
Cew: What? What explosive?!
Pilot: The one they will fire at us if we don't.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Caller Question
The famous s**... therapist was on the radio taking questions when a caller asked, "Doctor, I want to know, why do men always want to marry a v**...?
To which the doctor handily responded, "To avoid criticism."
The guy who received the first pig heart transplant gave a radio interview yesterday
I tried to listen, but I could only hear crackling
Not sure if that one has already been here, if so - I apologize
A man drives his car on the highway, when he hears the following traffic warning on the radio "Drivers, be careful there is a wrong way driver coming on the highway 9 in the direction of Berlin."
"Whaat?", shouts out the man to himself. "One?? More like a thousand of them!!"
Why can't a pulsar be observed by any computer controlled optical telescope?
Video killed the radio star.
A blonde is driving on the interstate…
Her husband calls her and says... "Be careful darling, it's just been on the radio that someone is driving the wrong way on the interstate" "Someone?" she replies, "theres hundreds of em!"
A squad of potatoes is engaged in a firefight after being sent to secure several important roads...
Gunfire and explosions are raining down on the group of potatoes until it's only the sergeant on his radio and a couple of others standing over the crispy skins of their fallen comrades. The General's voice suddenly blares from the radio...
"Sergeant, come in! What is your status, are the routes safe?"
"NO SIR, THE ROOTS ARE NOT SAFE - AND WE'RE DROPPING LIKE FRIES!"
Dear Justin Bieber haters...please respect him.
.
.
I owe my life to Justin. Last August 16,2014 I was in a coma for 4 months due to a terrible car accident.
One day my nurse turned the radio to Justin's song...
So I got up...and turned off the radio.
A British trawler is sailing off the coast of Germany when suddenly the ship starts taking in water.
The ship is sinking fast and the captain immediately gets on the radio to contact the German coast guard.
"Help!" he exclaims, "We're sinking! We're sinking!"
A hesistant voice comes from the radio. "Um...v-vot are you sinking about?"
