racist Jokes

funny pick up lines and hilarious racist puns

Call me a racist if you want, but south of the border is a sea of violence, corruption and stupidity I wouldn't touch with a ten foot pole.

I just thank my lucky stars I live in Canada.

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If I had a dollar for every racist thing I said

a black guy would probably rob me.

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What does a racist joke and crossing the street have in common?

White people looking both ways before they start

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I think my family is racist...

when I brought my black girlfriend home to meet them, my wife and daughter wouldn't even talk to her!

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A sexual predator, a pathological liar, and a racist walk into a bar

The bartender says, What'll it be, Mr. President?

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What do you call a black man that's just been hit by a bus?

An ambulance you racist.

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I don't understand why everyone thinks the KKK are racist.

Every week at our meetings there's always tons of black people hanging around.

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If I got $1 every time somebody called me a racist

black people would rob me

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A racist, a womanizer, and a rapist walked into a bar...

...the bartender says "how may I help you, Mr. President?"

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The Best Actually Racist Joke I know

*I hate myself for repeating this. But I heard this when I was living in Texas.*

Two rednecks are admiring their firearms. One says, I keep these around for hunting, home protection, and to defend my 2nd amendment rights. The second says, I just like shooting cans.

That's a lot of firepower just for shooting cans.

Well, there's so many of them: Mexi-cans, Afri-cans, Puerto Ri-cans...

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I just installed a new app on my phone that lets me know which of my friends are racist.

It's called 'Facebook'

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I saw Denzel Washington on the street today.

I said "Hey Denzel! Can I get a picture with you?"
And he's all like "I'm not Denzel Washington you racist piece of shit."
Classic Denzel.

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I don't see why racists are upset with Harriet Tubman being on the $20 bill...

They can finally legally own a black person again.

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If I had a dollar for every racist thing I've said

Some black mother Fucker would rob me.

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I'm Black. So I can't be racist. But these suckers keep telling me that I am.

"Jake, you can't call yourself Black just because you went to jail once. That is racist"

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If I had $1 for every time I read a racist comment on the internet

I'd still be broke. Because I am black and can't read.

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a joke that isn't racist

a guy is sitting in a bar and turns to the Asian guy next to him and asks:

"hey do you know, tai quon do, ju jutsu, kung fu or any of that shit?"

offended the Asian man replies:
"what you think that just because i'm asian i know martial arts?"

the man replies: "nah its because you're drinking my fucking burbon"

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Everyone keeps downvoting my racist jokes.

It's like a load of black people have suddenly gotten laptops or something.

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how do you starve a black person?

the same way you would a white person.... you racist.

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Just found an app that tells you which of your family members and friends are racist.

It's called Facebook.

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"I'm proud to be a black man"

"I'm proud to be a black man!" said the black man.

"I'm proud to be an Asian man!" said the Asian man.

"I'm proud to be a white man!" said the racist.

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Someone called me racist for saying "black paint"

Apparently the politically correct term is "Tyrone, please paint the fence".

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Jay Leno walked past a painting of Simon Cowell surrounded by his dogs during AGT.

And said: Cowell looked at the dogs like they were on the menu at a Korean restaurant.

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A white woman takes a black man she met a club home...

...She takes him by the hand to the bedroom and winks at him and says: "why don't you show me if what they say about black guys is true." So he stabs her and steals her TV.



P.S: don't worry, it's ok for me to make such jokes because I'm racist.

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America is racist

When Barack Obama gives his speech, he stands behind a bulletproof glass . That shows how racist America still is.

Just because he's black, doesn't mean he's going to shoot anyone



Thanks Frankie Boyle

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What do you call a black man selling drugs?

A pharmacist, you racist.

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What do you call a short black person?

By their name you fucking racist

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I think my entire family is racist.

I was dating an Asian woman and eventually brought her to my home to meet my family

My wife and kids didn't even want to talk to me.

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I'm not racist! I have like 3 friends!

And five of them are black.

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Want to hear a racist joke?

Just kidding, i'm not racist. Racism is a crime, and crime is for black people.

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My black friend told me to stop making racist jokes...

...I told him to lighten up.

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Well, you won't get called a racist for criticizing the President anymore...

...you'll just get called a racist for supporting him.

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Just found this cool new app that tells you which family members are racist...

Its called Facebook

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If I had a nickel for every racist thing I said...

Some black guy would rob me...

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America is so racist and homophobic

That people even want their teeth to be straight and white.

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What are the most funny Racist jokes of all time ?

Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking with someone about Racist? Well, here are the best Racist dad jokes to laugh out loud. Crazy funny puns and Racist pick up lines to share with friends.

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