Experience Instant Grins & Giggles with Playful Racist Jokes
I'm no racist.
But those Ku Klux k**... members all look the same to me.
My black friend told me to stop making racist jokes...
...I told him to lighten up.
What do you call a black man selling drugs?
A pharmacist, you racist.
The Pearly Gates and the Brothers
Saint Peter is sitting at the Pearly Gates when 3 black guys arrive.
St. Pete looked out through the Gates and said "Wait here. I will be right back."
St. Pete goes over to God's office and chambers and tells him who is waiting for entrance.
God says to Pete: "How many times do I have to tell you, you can't be racist and judgmental here. This is heaven. All are loved. All are brothers. Go back and let them in!"
St. Pete goes back to the Gates, looks around, and lets out a heavy sigh. He returns to God's chambers and says "Well, they're gone."
"Who. The black guys?" asked God.
"No. The Gates."
Asiana Airlines will be filing a lawsuit against KTVU for its inappropriate and racist names that were falsely broadcasted mid day Friday 7/12...
....said Asiana's attorney Wi Su Yu
Did you hear about the Mexican racist?
Hey tried to join the que que que.
My friend got jury duty
So I drove him down to the courthouse. He came out 5 minutes later and said we could go. I said "How did you do that?" He said it was easy, just pretend to be super racist and they let you go. So I tried it myself a couple weeks later.
Apparently it doesn't work if you're the defendant.
Jay Leno walked past a painting of Simon Cowell surrounded by his dogs during AGT.
And said: Cowell looked at the dogs like they were on the menu at a Korean restaurant.
Everything's racist these days.
You can't even say "black paint" anymore.
You have to say "Tyrone, paint that wall".
My teacher called me racist today....
So I told him " I am not racist because as we all know racism is a crime and crime is only done by black people."
Everyone keeps downvoting my racist jokes.
It's like a load of black people have suddenly gotten laptops or something.
What does the letter K have in common with my cousins
They are ok by themselves, but they get pretty racist when there are three of them together
A young boy sees a tall black man
The boy says "wow you must be good at basketball!"
The black man irritably says "That's racist, just because I'm black doesn't mean I'm good at basketball."
The boy replies "I said you must be good at basketball because you are tall. If I judged you for being black, I wouldn't have said you were good at anything."
Racial Humor
An Irish man is sitting at a bar, then a Chinese man sits down next to him. The Chinese takes a drink, the the Irish man says to him, "do you know Kung fu?". The Chinese man says, "why because I'm Chinese? That's just racist!". The Irish man says, "No, I ask because you're drinking my beer".
What do you call a violent, racist organization of confused Mexicans?
The quequeque
Want to hear a racist joke?
Just kidding, i'm not racist. Racism is a crime, and crime is for black people.
Have you heard about the midget k**... member?
He was a little racist.
Don't be racist.
It doesn't matter if you're black, asian or normal!
If I got $1 every time somebody called me a racist
black people would rob me
how do you starve a black person?
the same way you would a white person.... you racist.
Someone called me racist for saying "black paint"
Apparently the politically correct term is "Tyrone, please paint the fence".
"I'm proud to be a black man"
"I'm proud to be a black man!" said the black man.
"I'm proud to be an Asian man!" said the Asian man.
"I'm proud to be a white man!" said the racist.
A racist, a sexist and a priest walk into a bar.
The bartender says: "Hey Bill, drinking alone tonight?"
I'm not racist but
I saw a black guy running down the street with a TV and I thought "that's mine".
But then I realized mine is home, polishing my shoes.
If I had a dollar for every time I read "OP is a racist"
I'd still be broke. Because I am black and can't read
I'm not racist! I have like 3 friends!
And five of them are black.
I don't see why racists are upset with Harriet Tubman being on the $20 bill...
They can finally legally own a black person again.
I just installed a new app on my phone that lets me know which of my friends are racist.
It's called 'Facebook'
If I had $1 for every time I read a racist comment on the internet
I'd still be broke. Because I am black and can't read.
Why don't you fight the black kid that is in the second grade?
Because his father is in the eighth grade.
A con artist, a pervert, and a racist walks into a bar.
The barkeep looks up and says "The usual, Mr. Trump?"
When Barack Obama gives his speech, he stands behind a bulletproof glass.
That shows how racist America still is.
Just because he's black, doesn't mean he's going to shoot anyone
Thanks Frankie Boyle
I'm Black. So I can't be racist. But these suckers keep telling me that I am.
"Jake, you can't call yourself Black just because you went to jail once. That is racist"
I saw a midget in a k**... outfit today
I think he is a little racist.
Don't be racist, be like Mario...
He's an Italian plumber created by Japanese people who speaks English, and looks like a Mexican, and runs like a Jamaican, and jumps like a Black man, and grabs coins like a Jew...
Two r**... are admiring their firearms.
One says, I keep these around for hunting, home protection, and to defend my 2nd amendment rights. The second says, I just like shooting cans.
That's a lot of firepower just for shooting cans.
Well, there's so many of them: Mexi-cans, Afri-cans, Puerto Ri-cans...
Donald Trump is really a proved racist and sexist, because...
He beat a woman badly in his run for the presidency and threw a black family out of a white house...
I'm not racist my best friend growing up was black
Until my dad sold him
A racist, a fascist, and an idiot walked into a bar
"What can I get you?" Asked the bartender.
"I'll just have a water, and make sure the glass is small enough for my hands" said Donald Trump.
A white woman takes a black man she met a club home...
...She takes him by the hand to the bedroom and winks at him and says: "why don't you show me if what they say about black guys is true." So he stabs her and steals her TV.
P.S: don't worry, it's ok for me to make such jokes because I'm racist.
Well, you won't get called a racist for criticizing the President anymore...
...you'll just get called a racist for supporting him.
Liberals declared leukemia to be racist
There's too many white cells.
If I had a dollar for every racist thing I said
a black guy would probably rob me.
What resolution does a racist shoot his videos in?
3K
What do you call a blind racist?
A Not-see
If a piano player is called a pianist
Wouldn't a racecar driver be called a racist?
Black people can be racist too
It's just that white people are much better at it like we are at everything else.
I don't understand why everyone thinks the k**... are racist.
Every week at our meetings there's always tons of black people hanging around.
If I had a dollar for every racist comment I ever made.....
I'd probably get robbed by a black guy.
What do you call a gay black man on a bus ?
A passenger. You homophobic racist
Why did HD TV jump from 2K straight to 4k?
Because 3k was considered too racist.
America is so racist and homophobic
That people even want their teeth to be straight and white.
What do racist cannibals like to add to their soup?
A handful of crackers.
Apparently, even saying "black paint" is considered racist...
You're supposed to say, "Leeroy, would you please paint the fence."
Did you hear about the dyslexic racist?
He hates gingers.
Dentists are racist and homophobic.
They want to make your teeth white and straight.
Black people sure love them some boom boxes.
I'm not racist,
That's just their stereotype.
My Southern friends are like "K"s
they're alright when they are by themselves, but get 3 of 'em together and it gets pretty racist
What do you call a black man that's just been hit by a bus?
An ambulance you racist.
What does a racist joke and crossing the street have in common?
White people looking both ways before they start
What does every racist joke start with?
A look over the shoulder.
I'm voting for an old, senile, racist, sexist, white man with r**... allegations this year for president.
But I'm still not sure which one to pick.
A racist, a liar and a misogynist walks into a bar
The bartender greeted Good evening, Mr. President!
Flying the Confederate flag doesn't make you a racist.
It's usually the other way around.
A good number of my friends are racist.
Precisely zero - and that is a good number.
Racism
Sometimes if I wanna get someone's attention, I'll start a sentence with "I'm not racist,
"I'm not racist, but you look great today."
And they say, "that wasn't racist at all."
And I say, "I know. I said I'm not racist. You never listen. Typical Mexican."
A s**... predator, a racist and a Russian spy walk into a bar.
The bartender says "What can I get you Mr. President?"
Call me a racist if you want, but south of the border is a sea of violence, corruption and stupidity I wouldn't touch with a ten foot pole.
Thank god I live in Canada
Apparently my family is racist
I had them meet my new black girlfriend and they all started screaming at us. Especially my wife.
Why are racists so good at solving rubik's cubes?
Cuz they looooove seperating colors.
I'm not a racist. I treat every race equally
Even the bad ones
I think my wife is racist.
I brought my Asian girlfriend home for dinner and now my wife isn't talking to me.
I think my family is racist
I brought my Asian girlfriend home for dinner and my wife and kids were very rude to her.
How does every racist joke start?
By looking over both shoulders.
I'm no racist, except when it comes to people who like the 21st letter of the alphabet
U-people make me sick
A racist man called me a t**... for having long hair, a long beard, and being Middle Eastern.
Later I saw him at church giving a speech about how everyone needs a Middle Eastern guy with long hair and a beard in their lives.
What's the difference between a racist and a woke person?
The racist knows they're racist.
I had a racist Asian joke to share...
But this day and age, society just won't reddit go.
I am very racist...
...horse races are far superior to all other races
So A Cop Was Accused Of Being Racist.
He said I can't be racist, my wife's eye is black.
I'm not racist
I don't even know how to drive a car
What do you call a black guy who studies rocks?
a geologist, you racist!
A racist, an anti-semite and a black man walk into a bar
Hey Kanye!
how does every racist joke begin?
::looks over both shoulders.::
