Racist Jokes

funny jokes about racist and hilarious stories

BEST RACIST JOKES

Racist jokes and pranks to have fun with friends and family. Top 10 jokes about Racist of all time along with the funniest racist gags ever told.

Call me a racist if you want, but south of the border is a sea of violence, corruption and stupidity I wouldn't touch with a ten foot pole.
I just thank my lucky stars I live in Canada.

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a joke that isn't racist
a guy is sitting in a bar and turns to the Asian guy next to him and asks:

"hey do you know, tai quon do, ju jutsu, kung fu or any of that shit?"

offended the Asian man replies:
"what you think that just because i'm asian i know martial arts?"

the man replies: "nah its because you're drinking my fucking burbon"

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What do you call a black man selling drugs?
A pharmacist, you racist.

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how does every racist joke start?
with a look over your shoulder.

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My black friend told me to stop making racist jokes...
...I told him to lighten up.

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So I had this really great racist joke.
But some black guy stole it.

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Trump's parents are in trouble
They made a racist joke.

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Did you hear about the dyslexic racist?
He hated gingers.

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What do you call a black neurosurgeon?
A Doctor you fucking racist.

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I'm no racist.
But those Ku Klux Klan members all look the same to me.

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LATEST RACIST JOKES

Never be racist towards Native Americans.
They will Sioux you.

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I'm not a racist.
I can't even run.

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Need funny jokes - preferably not racist
I dont want any of these stupid puns, or jokes that arent actually funny. Does anyone have any jokes that are actually funny that are not racist? Even if they are racist... or any insults. The shorter the joke the better

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Why was the mexican midget a paragraph?
He's to short to be an essay.

Sorry if repost.
Sorry if racist.

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Could be taken as racist, or insecure (maybe both)
What do you call a immigrant fighting a rapist. "Alien versus predator"

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Uncle Ben
Is it just me, or is Uncle Ben's Brown Rice a little racist?

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What do you call a black guy who flies a plane?
A pilot you racist ass.

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I'm not racist, but...
I do enjoy a good non sequitur.

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The Washington Redskins are changing their name because of its racist, violence prone, and uncivilized connotations

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How does a racist laugh?
He sniggers.

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What do you call a lesbian asian who is is racist towards white people?
An anti-cock asian

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What do you call a black guy in a cockpit?
A pilot, you racist bastard.

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Might be a racist
What has 4 legs and a trunk?
The 2 nigerians that stole my trunk

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Im not racist but... I will always believe in one activity that is better off segregated into whites and colored.
Laundry.

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What's BROWN and making California a miserable place to live?
California Governor Jerry BROWN you racist asshole!

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A man visits a Buddhist Monastery.
(non racist version)

A man is sent to China on business. On a day off he goes sightseeing. He gets hopelessly lost in the confusing Chinese roads and finds himself on the outskirts of town where an ancient Buddhist monastery sits. Curious, he goes in. A kindly monk takes him for a tour. In the courtyard of the monastery there is a pond, around which are several monks who are skipping stones.

However, instead of typical splashes when the stones bounced across the water, they heard a Chinese word emanate from the pond. A monk demonstrates and they hear "Ping-Lee-Yow." as the stone bounces across the water. The monk explains to the man that this sacred pond says the names of your ancestors when a stone is skipped across it.

Amazed, the man asks to try, and is given a stone. He skips the stone and hears "Chim-Pan-Zee" as the stone skips. Furious, he asks if this is some cruel hoax they pull on foreigners. The monk sadly shakes his head no. Furious, the man lifts the largest boulder he could and heaves it into the water. It splashes with an almighty "BABOON!"

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This is a really dumb joke I made up about 2 years ago(mildly racist):
What do you call a Black Ukranian?

Nigor.

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What do you call a black guy that flies a plane?
A pilot- you racist!

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An old, racist one liner.
Heard this several years ago and even still it makes me chuckle.



What do you call three Mexicans, one Asian and three Africans in a line?

A water sprinkler: spic spic spic *chink* nigga nigga nigga.

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How does every racist joke start?
*Looks around the immediate area*

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RACIST JOKES THAT ARE...

Racist jokes can be funny or dirty, insulting of disgusting. Most of them are suitable for kids and family.

BEST SHORT JOKES

Short jokes about racism, one liners, thoughts and captions that are funny and will make you laugh.

Call me a racist if you want, but south of the border is a sea of violence, corruption and stupidity I wouldn't touch with a ten foot pole.
I just thank my lucky stars I live in Canada.

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What do you call a black man selling drugs?
A pharmacist, you racist.

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how does every racist joke start?
with a look over your shoulder.

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My black friend told me to stop making racist jokes...
...I told him to lighten up.

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So I had this really great racist joke.
But some black guy stole it.

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Trump's parents are in trouble
They made a racist joke.

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Did you hear about the dyslexic racist?
He hated gingers.

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What do you call a black neurosurgeon?
A Doctor you fucking racist.

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I'm no racist.
But those Ku Klux Klan members all look the same to me.

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[Little bit racist] why do New Zealanders...
Have insomnia? Because every time they start counting sheep they get too horny to sleep.

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BEST BLACK HUMOR JOKES

Black humor racist jokes.

Q: Where does a black jew go?
A: The back of the oven.

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How do you blindfold an Asian?
With dental floss!

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Q: What do you call the ashes of a white person in a jar?
A: A jar of mayonnaise.

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Q: How does every black joke start?
A: With the white guy looking over his shoulder.

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Q: How many Ethiopians can you fit into a telephone booth?
A: All of them.

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How long does it take a black lady to shit?
About 9 months.

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Q: What's faster than the speed of light?
A: A jew passing Germany.

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Q: Why do German shower heads have 11 holes?
A: Jews have 10 fingers.

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My dad was a complicated man.
He was a huge racist, my dad, but he still tried to be a good father, you know?
Like, he would tell me that Santa Claus was black β€” that way, when I found out he didn't exist, it wouldn't be that big a let down.

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What do you call a black woman thats had 5 or more abortions?
Crime fighter.

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WHAT ARE RACIST JOKES ABOUT?

Racist is if great topic to laugh at. Some of the funniest jokes ever are about racist.

Are Racist jokes funny? For sure! There is no such thing as boring racist joke here. All jokes are funny in their own way. You can also read racist jokes images on Pinterest or watch videos with racist jokes on YouTube.

TOP BLACK PEOPLE JOKES THAT ARE RACIST

Funny jokes about black people. Roast black people with these jokes.

Yesterday, I failed my biology exam.
The question was: "Name something commonly found in cells."
Apparently, Niggers wasn't the right answer.

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Q: How many white people does it take to clean a toilet?
A: None, that's a nigger's job.

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Basketball is the perfect game for a black person.
All you do is run, shoot and steal.

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What do you call a barn full of dead niggers?
Out dated farm equipment.

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Q: Where does a black jew go?
A: The back of the oven.

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Q: What does a black person have that is white?
A: His owner!

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I walked out of the store and saw a car full of black people lock their car doors i felt pretty badass until i realized it was my car.

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What is the difference between a black monopoly board and a white one.


The black on you roll any number and you go to jail.

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Q: What do you call a barn of black people?
A: Out of date farming tools.

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Q: What do men and garbage bags have in common?
A: Black are bigger than white.

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Q: What do you call an African American documentary?
A: Planet of the Apes.

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Q: What do you call a cremated black person?
A: 100% cocoa powder.

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What really separates black people from society?
Prison.

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What does a black person and Batman have in common?
They both can't leave home without Robbin.

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Why is making toast like an interracial couple having a baby?
It's annoying when it comes out black.

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Apparently 98% of black people enjoy sex in the shower.
The other 2% have never been to prison.

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Q: What's the difference between racist jokes and kids with cancer?
A: They never get old.

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Why do black people have nice shoes and nice cars but not nice houses?
Because they haven't figured out how to steal houses yet!

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There's a black and a Mexican in a car, who's driving?
The Cop

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Q: What's the difference between a black guy and a elevator?
A: The elevator can raise a child.

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People can be so easy to read.
Like if their face is red, they're embarrassed.
Or if their skin is brown, they're about to commit a crime.

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Q: Two men are in a car. One of them is a Mexican while the other is black. Who is driving the car?
A: The cops.

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How do you suffocate a nigger?
Tell him there's weed inside the pillowcase.

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Why are niggers like sperm?
Only 1 in a Million actually works.

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Someone just knocked on the door selling raffle tickets for poor black orphans.


I said "Fuck that, with my luck I'd probably win one."

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Why do ghetto people always name their kids things they cant afford like Diamond, Mercedes, Car Insurance?

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A white guy goes into a bar and sees a black bartender.


He says, "yo, nigger, get me a beer!"
The bartender says, "that's very rude. How would you like it if I talked to you like that?"
The white guy says, "let's switch places and see!"
So they switch places.
The bartender says, " yo, cracka, get me a beer!"
The white guy says, "sorry, we don't serve niggers here!"

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What do you call 100 million black guy skydiving during the daytime?
Nightfall.

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What do you call a pool filled with Black People?
Coco Puffs.

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Q: What do you call black people in a swimming pool?
A: Coco puffs.


Q: What do u call mexicans in the swimming pool?
A: Reeces puffs reeces puffs!

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How can yo tell if a black has been on you're computer?
It's not there...

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What do you do if you see your TV floating?
Say " DROP IT NIGGA".


What do you do if you see you refridgerator floating?
Run because that is one hell of a big black guy!

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You are so black when I clicked on your profile pic I thought my phone died.

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Q: What do you call a black man on the internet?
A: The dark web.

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What do you call a white guy surrounded by 3 niggers?
In trouble.


What do you call a white guy surrounded by 5 niggers?
Coach.
What do you call a white guy surrounded by 1000 niggers?
Prison Warden.

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Black man found a bottle in the desert, opened it and the genie flew out: "Ask for what you want - I'll fulfill three of your wishes!"
"I want to be white, often see nude woman, and that I will always be full of water!"
Genie waved his hand and turned the black man to a water closet...

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What do you call a black guy that doesn't rape white women?
An inmate.

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Q: How do u know a black person has been in your house?
A: Everything has gone.

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Q: Why do Americans like black candles?
A: Because it reminds them of 'the good old days'.

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How does a black woman know when she's pregnant?
When she pulls out her tampon all the cotton is picked off.

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What do you get when you mix a nigger and an octopus?
I don't know, but it picks the hell out of cotton

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Q: Why did they invent white chocolate?
A: So all black kids could get their faces messy too.

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What do you call a school bus full of black people?
A rotten banana.

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Yo' Mama is so fat, NASA used her to plug a black hole.

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Q: How do you know your black neighbor has moved?
A: The new neighbor has car insurance.

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Q: How many niggers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: There are no light bulbs in Africa.

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What does a nigger do after sex?
25 years to life.

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Q: Why can't 2 Asians make a white baby?
A: Because 2 Wongs don't make a white.

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How long does it take a black lady to shit?
About 9 months.

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What do you do if you see a black man flopping around on the ground?
Stop laughing and reload.

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A black guys is walking through the woods, he starts to hear a sounds.


It goes ching chong wu.
So he starts to walk to wear he heard the sound.
Soon enough he comes across a Chinese guy and a river.
The black guy ask was that noise.
The Chinese guy say, every time I throw a quarter in this river it tells me a name of an old relative.
See watch, Chinese guy throws a quarter, ching chong chun.
The black guy says let me try.
He throws a quarter in and the river says, chimpanzee.

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Why are niggers afraid of chainsaws?
Because when you turn on a chainsaw it says "

Run nigga nigga nigga Run nigga nigga nigga"

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Q: Why do more niggers get hit by cars in the winter?
A: They're easier to spot.

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What's the difference between Batman and a Black man?
Batman can go to the store without robin.

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How do you kill half of Ethiopia?
Throw a piece of bread off a cliff.


How do you kill the other half?
Tell them it still has not been eaten.

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Q: What's the difference between a black guy and a white guy?
A: A white guy can say "

Hey Dad" and "Good morning officer".

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Did you hear the NFL is changing the color off the football to green?
Yeah, you ever hear of a black person droping a watermelon?

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What do you call two blacks on one bike?
Organized crime!

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The world is like a jar of jelly beans.
Everybody hates the black ones.

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Q: If a black guy is driving a bicycle why shouldn't I hit him?
A: Because it's probably my bicycle.

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Why are black people so good at Basketball?
Cause all you have to do is RUN, SHOOT and STEAL.

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How do you hide a nigger in a coal shed?
Kick his teeth in.

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Chuck Norris can't be racist, because to him there are no people, just light and dark targets.

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What do you call two niggers in a sleeping bag?
Twix...

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Q: Why are black people so afraid of ghosts?
A: Because they are haunted by dead kkk members!

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There's 1000 black guys and 1 white guy.
What do you call the white guy?
Warden.

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Q: What's the difference between a toilet and a Kardashian?
A: Nothing! They both accept big brown stinky turds!

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Why don't blacks have dreams anymore?
The last one who had a dream got shot.

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Did you hear about Ku Klux Kineivals latest stunt?
He is going to try to jump 50 niggers with a steam roller.

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Q: What's black and brown and looks good on a nigger?
A: A Doberman.

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Yo mama is too black like she was born in a burning hospital.

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What do u do when your sitting in the dark and your TV starts to float?
You turn on the lights and shoot the black guy stealing it.

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I'm not racist, some of my best slaves are black.

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What do you say when you see your TV floating in the dark?
"Drop it nigger!"

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Q: What do you buy at a black guys garage sale?
A: Your shit back.

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If I had a dollar every time I made a racist joke a nigger would rob me.

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Q: What do you get when you cross a black person with a white person?
A: Bestiality.

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I was walking by a car filled with black kids, and I heard a *click* as they locked the doors.


I felt like such a bad-ass until I realized it was my car.

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Yo mamma so black when she gets in the car the oil light turns on.

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Why arent black people affended by thes jokes?
Because they cant read.

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I don't understand why everyone hates black people so much.


Black people are great!
Everyone should own one!

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My dad was a complicated man.
He was a huge racist, my dad, but he still tried to be a good father, you know?
Like, he would tell me that Santa Claus was black β€” that way, when I found out he didn't exist, it wouldn't be that big a let down.

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What do you call a nigger with no arms, and no legs?
Trustworthy.

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How did the black guy escape from jail?
He unscrewed the light bulbs.

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Why do nigger's have nightmares?
Because the last one that had a dream got shot.

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Q: Why are most democrats black
A: Black people are idiots.

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Jared: "Why are black people so good at basketball?"
Henry: "I don't know, why?"
Jared: "Because they're good at jumping, shooting, stealing, and running."

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How many cops does it take to change a lightbulb?
None. They just beat the room for being black.

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Q: Whats the difference between a black person and an apple?
A: The apple falls from the tree.

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Q: What did the little black boy say as he was sliding down a zebra?
A: Now you see me, now you don't, now you see me, now you don't...

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How do you tell if a black girls pregnant?
Shove a banana up her vagina and if you pull it out half eaten then you got a monkey on the way.

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What do the KKK and Nike have in common?
They both make a nigga run faster.

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Q: Why are white people called crackers.
A: Because they use to crack that whip on those niggers.

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What is the similarities between a black girl, and a tornado?
They both suck, blow, and leave you homeless!

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What's the difference between a white naked woman and a black naked woman?
The white girl is seen in Playboy and the black chick is seen on National Geographic.

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Your Mama's so black, when the cops were shooting at her, the bullets went back for flashlights.

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What do you call 100 niggers on the bottom of the sea?
A good start.

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Why don't black people pay rent?
Because jail is free.

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I saw a black guy running with a new blu-ray player, and it looked just like mine.


So I called my wife, but it turned out ours was still at home picking cotton.

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Why are black peoples eyes red after sex?
Pepper spray.

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TOP WHITE PEOPLE JOKES THAT ARE RACIST

Funny jokes about white people. Roast white people with these jokes.

Q: How many white people does it take to clean a toilet?
A: None, that's a nigger's job.

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Q: What does a black person have that is white?
A: His owner!

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What is the difference between a black monopoly board and a white one.


The black on you roll any number and you go to jail.

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Q: What do men and garbage bags have in common?
A: Black are bigger than white.

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Q: How does every black joke start?
A: With the white guy looking over his shoulder.

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Q: What do you call the ashes of a white person in a jar?
A: A jar of mayonnaise.

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The Winter Olympics.
Letting white people win at sports no one else can afford to learn.

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What do you call a white guy surrounded by 3 niggers?
In trouble.


What do you call a white guy surrounded by 5 niggers?
Coach.
What do you call a white guy surrounded by 1000 niggers?
Prison Warden.

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Q: What do you call a violent minority?
A: A thug.


Q: What do you call a violent white guy?
A: Officer.

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Q: What's the difference between a black guy and a white guy?
A: A white guy can say "

Hey Dad" and "Good morning officer".

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Your mama's so stupid when she saw a bus with lots of white kids in it she said stop that Twinkie.

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There's 1000 black guys and 1 white guy.
What do you call the white guy?
Warden.

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A white man walks into a bar and says to a bartender "Hey nigger.

Gimme a beer".
The bartender says "Don't say that to me. What happened if I said something like that to you?".
"The white man says "I don't know lets find out".
They switch places.
The black comes in and said "Hey honkey, gimme a f*ckin' beer".
The white man says "Sorry. We don't serve niggers"

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Three guys are on a plane, ones black, ones white, and ones Mexican.


The pilot says: "there's to much weight you all need to throw something off the plane."
The black guy throws his Jordan's and says: "we have to many of these in our country"
The Mexican throws off his lawn mower and says: "we have to many of these in our country".
The white guys throws the Mexican and says: "we have to many of these in our country"

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Chuck Norris can't be racist, because to him there are no people, just light and dark targets.

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Q: What do you get when you cross a black person with a white person?
A: Bestiality.

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Q: How do you piss off a white person?
A: Call him a racist.

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Q: What do you call the most powerful white man on the planet?
A: The President of the Unit...sh*t.

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Q: Why can't white people swim?
A: Cause they get soggy.

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Q: Why are white people called crackers.
A: Because they use to crack that whip on those niggers.

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There was a black guy, white guy, and a Mexican on a ship.


The ship was sinking so the black guy said, "quick throw off anything we don't need."
The Mexican threw off tacos, the black guy thre off fried chicken and the white guy threw off the black guy and the Mexican.

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Why did the white guy go to the black guy's yard sale?
To get his stuff back.

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Q: If a white baby grows wings and goes to heaven what do you call it?
A: A Angel.


Q: If a black baby grows wings and goes to heaven what do you call it?
A: A Bat.

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What do you call a bunch of white people running down a hill?
A Avalanche.

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When a white person delivers an asian baby.


White person: "Congratulations he looks like your husband... mom... cousin... uncle... neighbor..."

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Q: What do you call a black and white thing rolling down a hill
A: A maori and a segull fighting over a fishhead.

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What do you call a bunch of white people in a elevator?
A box of crakers.

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Q: Do you really want to know why white people are Prejudice, and racist towards black folks?
A: Simply because when they go tan their skin at the beach it burn like bleach.

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Q: Why did the black person fill uncomfortable?
A: Because he was surrounded by crackers.

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Q: What's the difference between a working white man and a working black man?
A: The White man is working legally.

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Q: Why do white people scare black people?
A: Cause they always try kill your ass.

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There's this black kid that goes to school and realizes teachers treat him differently than the white kids.
So, he goes home, paints himself white and shows his dad.
His dad beats the crud outta him.
He shows his mother, "Hey Ma, Look! I'm white!"
He gets beat by his mom too.
Lastly, he shows his Grandmother, "Grandma, Look! I'm white!
She beats him badly with her cane and sends him to his room.
Later, his dad comes into his room and asks, "Son, did you learn anything out of this?"
And the boy replies, "Duh! I've only been white for an hour and I already hate three niggers!"

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TOP MEXICAN JOKES THAT ARE RACIST

Funny jokes about mexican people. Roast mexican people with these jokes.

mexican racist jokes (dont look if u cant handle them)
1) how do you stop a mexican tank?

shoot the guy pushing it

2) why isnt there a mexican olympic team?

because all of the people who can run, swim, and jump are in the U.S!

3) whats the difference between a picnic table and a mexican man?

a picnic table can support a family of 5


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Why is there no mexican olympics?
Because everyone who can run, jump, or swim is already across the boarder.

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Why do mexicans walk around the school like they own the place?
Cause there dad built it and there mom cleans it at night.

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There's a black and a Mexican in a car, who's driving?
The Cop

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What do u call a Mexican getting baptized?
Bean dip.

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Q: Two men are in a car. One of them is a Mexican while the other is black. Who is driving the car?
A: The cops.

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Why dont mexicans cross the border in groups of 3's?
Cuz the signs at the border say no Trespassing.

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What do you call a Mexican without a lawn mower?
Unemployed.

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Q: Whats different between a Mexican and a Pothole?
A: We serve when we see potholes in the middle of the road.

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Q: What do you call black people in a swimming pool?
A: Coco puffs.


Q: What do u call mexicans in the swimming pool?
A: Reeces puffs reeces puffs!

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What do you call a Mexican knight?
The Chosen Juan.

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Do not be racist , be like Mario.
He's an italian plumber, made by Japanese people, who speaks english, looks like a mexican, jumps like a black man, and grabs coins like a jew!

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How do you kill 10,000 Mexicans?
Throw a peso over a cliff.


How do you kill 10,000 more?
Tell them nobody got it.

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How do you fry a Mexican?
You turn on the fence.

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Q: What happens when four mexican guys are standing in quick sand?
A: Quatro Sinko.

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Q: Why do Mexicans have such small steering wheels in their car?
A: So they can drive with handcuffs on.

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If pretty women from the south are southern bells, would that make pretty women from Mexico taco bells?

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Q: What did the Mexican get for Christmas?
A: My bike.

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What do you call a bunch of mexicans in a barn?
Modern farm equiptment.

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Three guys are on a plane, ones black, ones white, and ones Mexican.


The pilot says: "there's to much weight you all need to throw something off the plane."
The black guy throws his Jordan's and says: "we have to many of these in our country"
The Mexican throws off his lawn mower and says: "we have to many of these in our country".
The white guys throws the Mexican and says: "we have to many of these in our country"

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What do you get when you cross a Mexican with an Asian? A car thief that can't drive.

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Why were there only 5000 mexicans at the Alamo?
Because there were only 2 vans.

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Q: What do you call a baby Mexican?
A: A paragraph because he's too short to be an essay!

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An irish man requests a guiness
"One Guiness please"

-*"You must be Irish"*

"What, just because I ordered a Guiness? If I ordered a big mac would you think I was American?"

-*"Um, Sir.."*

If I ordered a tortilla would you think I was mexican?! Racist scum!"

-*"But.. sorry sir.. This is a library."*



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What do you call a mexican who's lost his car?
Carlos.

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How do you get a Mexican chick to blow you?
You decorate your wiener with leaves.


Trust me, Mexicans love blowing leaves.

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Why was the mexican midget a paragraph?
He's to short to be an essay.

Sorry if repost.
Sorry if racist.

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Q: Why do Mexicans have tamales for Christmas?
A: So they'll have something to unwrap.

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What do you call a mexican rolling in sand?
A churro.

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There was a black guy, white guy, and a Mexican on a ship.


The ship was sinking so the black guy said, "quick throw off anything we don't need."
The Mexican threw off tacos, the black guy thre off fried chicken and the white guy threw off the black guy and the Mexican.

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What's Mexicos National sport?
Cross Country.

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What do you call a bunch of mexicans running down the hill?
A mudslide.

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Q: What happens when you cross a nigger with a Mexican?
A: A nigger that is to lazy to steal.

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How do you find the population of a Mexican village?
Roll a quarter down the street.r

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Q: Two Mexican cousins are in the front seat of a car who's in the back?
A: their children

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Q: What is the official sport of Mexico?
A: Border jump

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Mexican jokes and black jokes are pretty much the same.
Once you heard Juan you've heard Jamal.

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Q:Where does a mexican shop for books?
A: Borders

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Q: What's Mexicans favorite video game.
A: Borderlands.

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A Mexican and a black person jump off a bridge, who wins?
Society.

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I just saw a mexjcan guy walking down the street with a tv and I thought " wow, that looks just like mine."
But I knew mine was at home shining my shoes.

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How many Mexicans does it take to change a lightbulb?
One, you racist!

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A few of my favorite Mexican racist jokes
What do you call a bunch of white people pushing a car up a hill?
Dead battery

What do you call a bunch of black people pushing a car up a hill?
Flat tire.

What do you call a bunch of Mexicans pushing a car up a hill?
Grand theft auto.

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What do you call a bunch of white people running down a hill?
Avalanche

What do you call a bunch of black people running down a hill?
Mudslide

What do you call a bunch of Mexicans running down a hill?
Prison break

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How do you find the population of Mexico?
Roll a quarter down the street.

How do you find the richest person in Mexico?
See who picks up the quarter.

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I'm not one for racist jokes but this one is a classic
So a black guy, a Mexican and an Asian walk into a bar

The bartender says: Get the fuck out!

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A couple racist jokes..
Q: What do you call a Mexican vs Mexican ?
A: Juan on Juan

Q: What do you call a black person and an Asian person walking down the street?
A: Black n Yellow ( Refer to the song )

Q: What do you call a bunch of white people falling down a cliff?
A: An avalanche

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A few somewhat racist jokes...
* What do Nike and kkk have in common?
They both make niggers run fast.

* Why do Jews like watching porno's backwards?
They like the part where the Hooker gives back the money.

* Why did Michael Jackson go to K-Mart?
He heard Boys pants where half off.

* What do u call a little Mexican?
A Paragraph because he's not quite an Essay yet.


* How do you BlindFold a chink?
Dental Floss.

* Whats the Objective of Jewish Football?
To get the quarter back.

* Did you hear about the new Black Barbie?
It comes with 12 kids, AIDS and a welfare check. (Father sold separately or not at all.)

* What is the difference between a pair of jeans and an Ethiopian?
A pair of jeans only has one fly on it.

* Did you hear about the jewish child molestor?
He hid in the bushes and said, "Hey little boy, wanna buy some candy?"

* Why did Michael Jackson place a phone call to Boyz-2-Men?
He thought it was a delivery service.

* A man goes into a shop and sees 3 jars on a table. The first jar says Caucasian Brains, $5.00 a pint. The second says Asian Brains, $10.00 a pint, and the third says Nigger Brains, $100.00 a pint.
Hey, why are these nigger brains $100 bucks a pint? asked the man.
The shop owner replied, You know how many niggers you have to kill to get a whole pint of brains?

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A black guy, a Jew, a Mexican, and a racist white Southerner are waiting at a bus stop...
...when all of a sudden a genie comes along. He says, "Well, we've got some time before the bus comes so why don't I grant you all one wish."

So the Jew pipes up and says, "My one true wish is that all of my people be able to live in peace together in Israel." The genie snaps his fingers, and BAM! Done.

Next the Mexican says, "Really I wish that all of my people can live in prosperity in Mexico." Again the genie snaps his fingers, and BAM! Wish fulfilled.

Next the black guy says, "My wish is that all black people be able to live together in peace and prosperity in Africa." Again the genie snaps his fingers, and BAM! All the black people go to Africa.

Finally the genie turns to the white Southerner and asks him for his wish. "Let me get this straight," the Southerner says, "all the Jews are in Israel, all the Mexicans are in Mexico, and all the blacks are in Africa? Shit, I think I'll have a Coke."

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Three guys are stranded on a island; black guy, white guy, and a Mexican.
They come across a Indian tribe, the chief said" go into the forest and pick a fruit and bring it back.
We are going to shove it up your ass, if you scream we will cut off your head".
The white guy goes in and brings back a banana they shove it up his ass he screamed soo they cut off his head.
The Mexican goes in and comes back with a grape they shove it up his ass he screams.
They all look at his and ask" why you scream?" The Mexican says" because the black guy is coming back with a watermelon.

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a racist one, but still funny.
an italian, a mexican and an american are out fishing when their boat begins to sink. the italian shouts "throw stuff overboard!" the italian throws a pizza of the boat and says "we have too many of these in my country." the mexican goes next and throws a taco overboard, saying "we have too many of these in my country." then the American picks up the mexican, and throws him overboard saying "we have too many of these in my country.

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What do you call a Mexican with no arms?
By his name, you racist.

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Don't be a racist!
Be like Mario. He's an Italian plumber, created by Japanese people, who speaks English and looks like a Mexican. Oh and he jumps like a Black man and grabs coins like a Jew.

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The plane is falling!
An American, a Mexican and a Chinese man are all sitting on a plane. The flight attendant says "EMERGENCY! WE NEED TO DROP 200 POUNDS OFF THE PLANE OR WE WILL FALL"

Chinese man - "Oh, I throw off rice, we have too much of this in our country!"

Mexican - "No! I throw off cheese and beans, too much of these in our country!"

American - *The American shoves the Mexican off the plane* "We have too much of these in our country!"

No, I am not racist, but if a joke is racist, but good, I will recite it. I heard this from a Garrys Mod user named "Toytles" while playing Life Punch's jailbreak game mode.

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A racist truck-driver [not for you bleeding-hearts]
A racist truck driver is driving down a lonesome, desert road. On the horizon he sees the outline of a hitch-hiker. Getting closer he can see that the man is Mexican. He starts to pull over, but at the last second, he guns the engine and runs the man over.

After some time, he sees another hitch-hiker- this time it's a catholic priest. Being a man of faith, the driver pulls over and gives the holy man a lift. The two continue down the road.

After a few more miles, they approach another hitch-hiker. This time, it's a black man. The driver is conflicted- he wants to run the guy over but doesn't want to offend the priest. Thinking quickly, he pretends to nod-off at the wheel. He approaches the hitch-hiker, eases over, and with eyes-closed, guns the engine again. Hearing a 'thud', he shakes his head and asks the priest what happened.

The priests explains, "You nearly missed that nigger, but I swung the door open in time to nail him."

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Why'd the Mexican army only bring 5000 soldiers to the Alamo?
There was only two vans.

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TOP ASIAN JOKES THAT ARE RACIST

Funny jokes about asian people. Roast asian people with these jokes.

a joke that isn't racist
a guy is sitting in a bar and turns to the Asian guy next to him and asks:

"hey do you know, tai quon do, ju jutsu, kung fu or any of that shit?"

offended the Asian man replies:
"what you think that just because i'm asian i know martial arts?"

the man replies: "nah its because you're drinking my fucking burbon"

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Asiana Airlines will be filing a lawsuit against KTVU for its inappropriate and racist names that were falsely broadcasted mid day Friday 7/12...
....said Asiana's attorney Wi Su Yu

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What do you get when you cross a black and asian man? (slightly racist)
A car thief that can't drive.

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An old, racist one liner.
Heard this several years ago and even still it makes me chuckle.



What do you call three Mexicans, one Asian and three Africans in a line?

A water sprinkler: spic spic spic *chink* nigga nigga nigga.

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How do you blindfold an Asian?
With dental floss!

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Guys, enough with the Asian jokes...they're all the same.

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Asians are so bad at driving, I'm starting to think Pearl Harbor was an accident.

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Q: What happens when you spin an asian man on a swivel chair?
A: He gets disoriented!

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What's the flattest surface you can iron your clothes on?
Asian girl's ass.

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Q: What do u call an Asian grocery store?
A: A pound

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Q: Why can't 2 Asians make a white baby?
A: Because 2 Wongs don't make a white.

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A black guys is walking through the woods, he starts to hear a sounds.


It goes ching chong wu.
So he starts to walk to wear he heard the sound.
Soon enough he comes across a Chinese guy and a river.
The black guy ask was that noise.
The Chinese guy say, every time I throw a quarter in this river it tells me a name of an old relative.
See watch, Chinese guy throws a quarter, ching chong chun.
The black guy says let me try.
He throws a quarter in and the river says, chimpanzee.

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Q: How do you know if you have a asian neighbour?
A: They have been reported in over 10 car accidents on the news, their car has scratches, their on P's and they park one car on their driveway which is meant for to cars, and they park their second car in front of your house.

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Q: What do you call an Asian family tree?
A: A rice bush.

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What do you name an Asian baby with problems?
Sum ting wong.

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What happened to the Asian when he walked into a wall with a boner?
He hit his nose.

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How do you know if an Asian robbed you?
Your homework is done and cats gone.

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What do you get when you cross a Mexican with an Asian? A car thief that can't drive.

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God made each and everyone of us until he got to China.
Copy paste...copy paste...

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Me: Staring contest. Go!
Me: O.O
Friend: -.-
Me: I win! You blinked! Haha
Friend: You bastard, I'm asian!

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Q: What do you do when your computer gets wet?
A: Put it in a bowl of rice, an Asian will show up and they will fix it.

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My teacher sends this Chinese kid out of the classroom cause she thought he was sleeping.
-_-

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Q: How do Asian parents name their kids?
A: They drop a tin can down the stairs and it makes the noise Bing ling wata ling ling.

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Q. How do you know if a Asian robbed your house?
A. Your HW is done , computer is upgraded, 2 hrs later lil f***er still tryin back off the driveway.

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Saw this bumper sticker in L.A. - "I'm not drunk, I'm Asian"

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One day a Jew was giving an Asian a blowjob, then, the Asian said do you have homework.


The Jew said no and they continued the blowjob.
Adam was waiting outside for a long time before he decided to walk in.
He walked in to find the Jew getting it up the bum.
Adam decided he wanted to get some action too, so he walked up and took a swing at the Asian.
The Asian died and then the Jew yelled Aluakbah and bombed everyone.
Note: they were all boys.

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How do you know if you've walked into the wrong Chinese bookstore?
It'll be called "Wong Fook Hing Book Store".

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When a white person delivers an asian baby.


White person: "Congratulations he looks like your husband... mom... cousin... uncle... neighbor..."

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What do you call a lesbian asian who is is racist towards white people?
An anti-cock asian

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Q: How do Asians get their name?
A: They throw a pan down the hall and listen to the noise.


Example: Dong Ching Lau.

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Not to be racist but...
Every movie is widescreen to Asian people.

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Q: Why did the Asian cross the road?
A: Because he had no car!

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Here's a joke I heard awhile back.
Its a bit racist. Please don't send me angry PMs.

In the kindergarten playground at recess 3 male students were comparing their penis sizes. There was an Asian boy, a white boy, and a black boy. The Asian boy and white boy had penises about the same size, but the black boys penis was much bigger than both of theirs. When the two children saw this, they said it was because he was black, and the black boy thought about it. When the black boy got home he told the story to his mother, and asked "is the reason my penis is bigger than the other boys' penises because I'm black?" to which the mother replied "No sweetie, its because you're 24"

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Is it racist
to say all Asian twins look the same?

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Q: Do you know how Chinese people name their children?
A: They throw some pans and based on the noises they make like "ting tang," "Dung dung", "Ting tang dung"

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I'm not one for racist jokes but this one is a classic
So a black guy, a Mexican and an Asian walk into a bar

The bartender says: Get the fuck out!

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What the number one crime in asia?
Identity theft.

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Why are asian people bad at driving?
Because they can't see.

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How do they name Chinese baby's?
They throw silverware down the stairs until they hear something they like.

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A couple racist jokes..
Q: What do you call a Mexican vs Mexican ?
A: Juan on Juan

Q: What do you call a black person and an Asian person walking down the street?
A: Black n Yellow ( Refer to the song )

Q: What do you call a bunch of white people falling down a cliff?
A: An avalanche

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What is the least racist animal?
A panda. It's black, it's white and it's Asian.

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TOP JEW JOKES THAT ARE RACIST

Funny jokes about jewish people. Roast jewish people with these jokes.

Q: Where does a black jew go?
A: The back of the oven.

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How do you start a Jewish parade?
Throw a penny down main street.

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How do you get a Jewish girl's number?
You pull up her sleeve.

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Q: What's worse than holocaust?
A: 6M Jews.

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How to tell who is Jewish in your class, drop a penny and see who gets their first.

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Q: Why do Jews have so big noses?
A: Because the air is free.

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Hitler calls a meeting of his best soldiers and commanders and tells them "Alright I want to order the assassination of one thousand jews and four hedgehogs."
Then one of his generals stands and says "But... Mein furhur why four hedgehogs?"
Hitler then smiles and says "See? No one gives a f*ck about the jews."

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How do you fit 54 Jews in a car?
2 in the front 2 in the back and 50 in the ashtray.

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Do not be racist , be like Mario.
He's an italian plumber, made by Japanese people, who speaks english, looks like a mexican, jumps like a black man, and grabs coins like a jew!

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Q: What's faster than the speed of light?
A: A jew passing Germany.

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Why do Jews watch porn backwards?
Because their favorite part is when the hooker gives the money back.

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How do you tell when time is reversing?
When a Jew drops a coin on the ground.

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A young Jewish Mom walks her son to the school bus corner on his first day of kindergarten.


"Behave, my bubaleh," she says.
"Take good care of yourself and think about your Mother, tataleh!"
"And come right back home on the bus, schein kindaleh."
"Your Mommy loves you a lot, my ketsaleh!"
At the end of the school day the bus comes back and she runs to her son and hugs him.
"So what did my pupaleh learn on his first day of school?"
The boy answers, "I learned my name is David."

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Two Jewish guys are walking when one notices a sign on a Catholic church that says "Convert to Christianity, and we'll give you $100."
The one says to the other, "should we do it?"
The other says "NO!! Are you crazy?"
The first guy replies "Hey, a hundred dollars is a hundred dollars... I'm gonna do it."
So he walks in to the church, and little while later, he walks back out.
The friend says "well, did you get the money?"
He replies "Oh that's all you people think about, isn't it?"

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Couple of racist jokes my dad told me(not racist just found them funny)
What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza
One screams when it hits the oven

What's the difference between a black guy and a pizza
A pizza can feed a family

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Q: How do you kill 1000 Jews at once?
A: Throw a dollar off a cliff.

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One day a Jew was giving an Asian a blowjob, then, the Asian said do you have homework.


The Jew said no and they continued the blowjob.
Adam was waiting outside for a long time before he decided to walk in.
He walked in to find the Jew getting it up the bum.
Adam decided he wanted to get some action too, so he walked up and took a swing at the Asian.
The Asian died and then the Jew yelled Aluakbah and bombed everyone.
Note: they were all boys.

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[Racist Joke]Where does the black Jew go?
To the back of the oven.

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A Chinaman and a Jew are in a racist argument...
A Chinaman and a Jew are in a racist argument when the Jew rears back and punches the Chinaman in the nose. The Chinaman says, "What was that for?"

The Jew responds, "That was for Pearl Harbor you son of a bitch."

The Chinaman looks confused and says, "Pearl Harbor was bombed by the Japanese. I'm Chinese!"

So the Jew says, "Japanese. Chinese. What's the difference?!" Then the Chinaman rears back and punches the Jew in the nose.

The Jew says, "What was that for?"

The Chinaman responds, "That was for the Titanic!"

The Jew looks confused and says, "The Titanic?? The Titanic was sunk by an iceberg!"

So the Chinaman says, "Iceberg. Goldberg. What's the difference?!"

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[WARNING: RACIST JOKE] What do you call a jew with a gasmask?
A spoilsport.

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In the winter of 1926, Thelma Goldstein from Chicago treated herself to her first real vacation in Florida.
Being unfamiliar with the area, she wandered into a restricted hotel in North Miami.
"Excuse me," she said to the manager. "My name is Mrs. Goldstein, and I’d like a small room for two weeks."
"I’m awfully sorry," he replied, "but all of our rooms are occupied."
Just as he said that, a man came down and checked out.
"What luck," said Mrs. Goldstein. "Now there’s a room.
"Not so fast, Madam. I’m sorry, but this hotel is restricted. No Jews allowed."
"Jewish? Who’s Jewish? I happen to be Catholic."
"I find that hard to believe. Let me ask you, who was the Son of God?"
"Jesus, Son of Mary."
"Where was he born?"
"In a stable."
"And why was he born in a stable?"
"Because a schmuck like you wouldn’t let a Jew rent a room in his hotel!"

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A Jewish man walks into a bar and sits down.

He has a few drinks, then he sees a Chinese man and punches him in the face.
"Owch!" the Chinese man says.
"What was that for?"
"That was for Pearl Harbor," the Jewish man says.
"But I'm Chinese!" "Chinese, Japanese, what's the difference?"
And the Jewish man sits back down.
Then, the Chinese man walks up to the Jewish man and punches him in the face.
"Ouch!" the Jewish man says. "What was that for?"
"That was for the Titanic," the Chinese man says.
"But that was an iceberg!"
"Ice berg, Goldberg, what's the difference?"

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Most Racist Joke I Have Heard (told to me by a devout Chinese Jew)
whats the worst part about being a black jew?

getting put in the back of the oven.

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An old Jewish man gets on the subway in New York and sees a priest.


He notices the white collar, and decides to ask what it’s about.
"Why do you wear your collar backwards?" The old Jewish man asks.
The Priest, being polite, responds, "Well, Sir, because I’m a father."
"I am a father too, but I wear my collar normal."
"Yes," the Priest begins, "but I am father of many."
The old Jewish man shakes his head. "I have 8 children, and so many grandchildren I don’t know most their names, and still my collar isn’t backwards."
The priest, aggitated, slams his fist in his palm "Sir! I am the father of hundreds!"
The elderly Jewish man, beweildered, stands to get off the subway, and leans over to the priest "Mister, maybe you should start wearing your pants backwards."

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Don't be a racist!
Be like Mario. He's an Italian plumber, created by Japanese people, who speaks English and looks like a Mexican. Oh and he jumps like a Black man and grabs coins like a Jew.

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A black guy, a Jew, a Mexican, and a racist white Southerner are waiting at a bus stop...
...when all of a sudden a genie comes along. He says, "Well, we've got some time before the bus comes so why don't I grant you all one wish."

So the Jew pipes up and says, "My one true wish is that all of my people be able to live in peace together in Israel." The genie snaps his fingers, and BAM! Done.

Next the Mexican says, "Really I wish that all of my people can live in prosperity in Mexico." Again the genie snaps his fingers, and BAM! Wish fulfilled.

Next the black guy says, "My wish is that all black people be able to live together in peace and prosperity in Africa." Again the genie snaps his fingers, and BAM! All the black people go to Africa.

Finally the genie turns to the white Southerner and asks him for his wish. "Let me get this straight," the Southerner says, "all the Jews are in Israel, all the Mexicans are in Mexico, and all the blacks are in Africa? Shit, I think I'll have a Coke."

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A Jewish boy asked his father "Father, can you lend me 50 dollars?"
The father replied, "40 dollars, What do you need 30 dollars for?"

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CONCLUSION

Best of 511 Hilarious Racist Jokes. Funny racist jokes about black, mexican, asian, jew or white people, some of which are black humor, some dirty, some military and political.

You've read some of the best racist jokes of all time. We hope you had fun with this collection of puns about racist. Most of the stories are suitable for kids with good sense of humor, children or teens boys and girls. You must supervise your chidlren not to read pranks for adults. Note that some jokes are disgusting, filled with black humor so don't tell dirty racist gags to your kids.

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