Racist Jokes

What are some Racist jokes?

If I had a dollar for every racist thing I said

a black guy would probably rob me.

What does a racist joke and crossing the street have in common?

White people looking both ways before they start

I think my family is racist...

when I brought my black girlfriend home to meet them, my wife and daughter wouldn't even talk to her!

A sexual predator, a pathological liar, and a racist walk into a bar

The bartender says, What'll it be, Mr. President?

What do you call a black man that's just been hit by a bus?

An ambulance you racist.

I don't understand why everyone thinks the KKK are racist.

Every week at our meetings there's always tons of black people hanging around.

If I got $1 every time somebody called me a racist

black people would rob me

A racist, a womanizer, and a rapist walked into a bar...

...the bartender says "how may I help you, Mr. President?"

The Best Actually Racist Joke I know

*I hate myself for repeating this. But I heard this when I was living in Texas.*

Two rednecks are admiring their firearms. One says, I keep these around for hunting, home protection, and to defend my 2nd amendment rights. The second says, I just like shooting cans.

That's a lot of firepower just for shooting cans.

Well, there's so many of them: Mexi-cans, Afri-cans, Puerto Ri-cans...

I just installed a new app on my phone that lets me know which of my friends are racist.

It's called 'Facebook'

I don't see why racists are upset with Harriet Tubman being on the $20 bill...

They can finally legally own a black person again.

I'm Black. So I can't be racist. But these suckers keep telling me that I am.

"Jake, you can't call yourself Black just because you went to jail once. That is racist"

If I had $1 for every time I read a racist comment on the internet

I'd still be broke. Because I am black and can't read.

Everyone keeps downvoting my racist jokes.

It's like a load of black people have suddenly gotten laptops or something.

how do you starve a black person?

the same way you would a white person.... you racist.

Just found an app that tells you which of your family members and friends are racist.

It's called Facebook.

"I'm proud to be a black man"

"I'm proud to be a black man!" said the black man.

"I'm proud to be an Asian man!" said the Asian man.

"I'm proud to be a white man!" said the racist.

Someone called me racist for saying "black paint"

Apparently the politically correct term is "Tyrone, please paint the fence".

Jay Leno walked past a painting of Simon Cowell surrounded by his dogs during AGT.

And said: Cowell looked at the dogs like they were on the menu at a Korean restaurant.

A white woman takes a black man she met a club home...

...She takes him by the hand to the bedroom and winks at him and says: "why don't you show me if what they say about black guys is true." So he stabs her and steals her TV.

P.S: don't worry, it's ok for me to make such jokes because I'm racist.

America is racist

When Barack Obama gives his speech, he stands behind a bulletproof glass . That shows how racist America still is.

Just because he's black, doesn't mean he's going to shoot anyone

Thanks Frankie Boyle

What do you call a black man selling drugs?

A pharmacist, you racist.

I think my entire family is racist.

I was dating an Asian woman and eventually brought her to my home to meet my family

My wife and kids didn't even want to talk to me.

I'm not racist! I have like 3 friends!

And five of them are black.

Want to hear a racist joke?

Just kidding, i'm not racist. Racism is a crime, and crime is for black people.

My black friend told me to stop making racist jokes...

...I told him to lighten up.

Well, you won't get called a racist for criticizing the President anymore...

...you'll just get called a racist for supporting him.

America is so racist and homophobic

That people even want their teeth to be straight and white.

I'm not racist but

I saw a black guy running down the street with a TV and I thought "that's mine".

But then I realized mine is home, polishing my shoes.

Black people sure love them some boom boxes.

I'm not racist,

That's just their stereotype.

What do you call a gay black man on a bus ?

A passenger. You homophobic racist

Did you hear about the dyslexic racist?

He hates gingers.

Why did HD TV jump from 2K straight to 4k?

Because 3k was considered too racist.

My Southern friends are like "K"s

they're alright when they are by themselves, but get 3 of 'em together and it gets pretty racist

Did you hear about the Mexican racist?

Hey tried to join the que que que.

Apparently, even saying "black paint" is considered racist...

You're supposed to say, "Leeroy, would you please paint the fence."

If I had a dollar for every racist comment I ever made.....

I'd probably get robbed by a black guy.

Dentists are racist and homophobic.

They want to make your teeth white and straight.

If I had a dollar for every time someone called me racist

Black people would rob me

Donald Trump is really a proved racist and sexist, because...

He beat a woman badly in his run for the presidency and threw a black family out of a white house...

I saw a midget in a KKK outfit today

I think he is a little racist.

If I had a dollar for every time I read "OP is a racist"

I'd still be broke. Because I am black and can't read

What does the letter K have in common with my cousins

They are ok by themselves, but they get pretty racist when there are three of them together

Liberals declared leukemia to be racist

There's too many white cells.

If I had a dollar for every time I said something racist

A lot more black people would try to rob me

What does every racist joke start with?

A look over the shoulder.

A con artist, a pervert, and a racist walks into a bar.

The barkeep looks up and says "The usual, Mr. Trump?"

A racist joke.

Why don't you fight the black kid that is in the second grade?

Because his father is in the eighth grade.

Everything's racist these days.

You can't even say "black paint" anymore.

You have to say "Tyrone, paint that wall".

How does every racist joke against black people start?

Some guy looking around to see if there are any black people nearby.

What resolution does a racist shoot his videos in?


Have you heard about the midget Klan member?

He was a little racist.

What do you call a blind racist?

A Not-see

A racist, a fascist, and an idiot walked into a bar

"What can I get you?" Asked the bartender.

"I'll just have a water, and make sure the glass is small enough for my hands" said Donald Trump.

A young boy sees a tall black man

The boy says "wow you must be good at basketball!"

The black man irritably says "That's racist, just because I'm black doesn't mean I'm good at basketball."

The boy replies "I said you must be good at basketball because you are tall. If I judged you for being black, I wouldn't have said you were good at anything."

How does every racist joke start ?

:::Person about to tell joke checks surroundings to make sure coast is clear:::

I'm not racist my best friend growing up was black

Until my dad sold him

Don't be racist.

It doesn't matter if you're black, asian or normal!

If a piano player is called a pianist

Wouldn't a racecar driver be called a racist?

Black people can be racist too

It's just that white people are much better at it like we are at everything else.

What do racist cannibals like to add to their soup?

A handful of crackers.

My friend got jury duty

So I drove him down to the courthouse. He came out 5 minutes later and said we could go. I said "How did you do that?" He said it was easy, just pretend to be super racist and they let you go. So I tried it myself a couple weeks later.

Apparently it doesn't work if you're the defendant.

Note: This is an original joke. Any suggestions on how I can clean it up a bit, make it a little punchier?

There's an website you can use to see if your family is racist.

It's called Facebook

Racial Humor

An Irish man is sitting at a bar, then a Chinese man sits down next to him. The Chinese takes a drink, the the Irish man says to him, "do you know Kung fu?". The Chinese man says, "why because I'm Chinese? That's just racist!". The Irish man says, "No, I ask because you're drinking my beer".

Don't be racist, be like Mario...

He's an Italian plumber created by Japanese people who speaks English, and looks like a Mexican, and runs like a Jamaican, and jumps like a Black man, and grabs coins like a Jew...

What do you call a violent, racist organization of confused Mexicans?

The quequeque

I'm no racist.

But those Ku Klux Klan members all look the same to me.

A racist, a sexist and a priest walk into a bar.

The bartender says: "Hey Bill, drinking alone tonight?"

Whats black and doesnt work?

Decaffeinated coffee, you racist

Yesterday I watched "Get Out" with my racist grandpa

He thought it was a documentatary.

Did you hear about the family of racist chicken detectives?

They're called the Clue Clucks Clan

Just thought this when making a coffee, I'm sorry...

I've grown a fetish where I love to lick milk off white women's feet, I've been labelled a racist though... it's not my fault I'm black toes intolerant.

Thank you, thank you very much *hangs head in shame*

My teacher told a joke today in class, and I thought I would share it here

He said, "When brain transplants are possible, I would get a brain of a racist. You know why? Because they have never been used before".

Some guy walked up to me today and said I'm racist

I told him I'm not racist. In fact my best friend was a black child until my dad sold him

My teacher called me racist today....

So I told him " I am not racist because as we all know racism is a crime and crime is only done by black people."

How many racists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. Racists dont like to be enlightened.

How to make Racist jokes?

We have collected gags and puns about Racist to have fun with. Do you want to stand out in a crowd with a good sense of humour joking about Racist? If Yes here are a lot more hilarious lines and funny Racist pick up lines to share with friends.

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