Race Jokes

Funniest Race Short Jokes

Short race jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The race humour may include short ethnic jokes also.

1. Why does Kevin Spacey never get 1st place in races? Because he likes to come in a little behind.
2. I told the cop, You can't write me a ticket. I have a marathon to run tomorrow. The cop said, Sir, that's not how you play the race card.
3. My wife and kids are leaving me because they say I'm obsessed with horse Racing. I'm looking out the window at them now........... and they're off.....
4. Roy Moore refuses to concede the Alabama Senate race. He keeps insisting that the black votes should only count for 3/5ths.
5. If I owned a race horse, I would name it My Face Just to hear the crowed chant "COME ON! COME ON MY FACE!"
   "...and here comes My Face coming up from the rear!"
   -Credit goes to my mother
   -
6. I had a racing snail, I thought it would be faster if I removed it's shell... It only made it more sluggish.
7. They currently think the person who ruined the Tour de France might have been German. Well, she did try to take down a whole race...
8. Barack Obama is having a race with joe Biden around the white house. After finishing the race Obama says "Whew, just under 10 minutes. Did I break the record?"
   Biden replies "No, Bush did 9:11."
9. I'm one of those people who thinks different races shouldn't mix Which is why I don't participate in triathlons
10. A Prius just tried to race me from a stop sign. I totally had it for the first 100 feet... But I can only walk so fast.

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Race One Liners

Which race one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with race? I can suggest the ones about rage and species.

1. What do sprinters eat before a race? Nothing, they fast.
2. Is it wrong to hate a specific race Because I really hate marathons
3. Why do Paedophiles never win races? They like to come in a little behind...
4. I shot someone with a starting gun. I've been charged with race crimes
5. I had a race with an Asian today It was a thai
6. When is the best time for Muslims to run a race? Ramadan. They fast during Ramadan.
7. One one was a racehorse One two was one too
   One one won one race
   One two won one too
8. My aunt always said the slow and steady win the race She died in a fire
9. I'm thinking of going on a cleanse just not sure which race to start with
10. Where does a race on the Swedish border end at? The Finnish line.
11. What do we want? Race car noises.
    When do we want them?
    Neoooooooooooooooooooooow
12. How did the dumpling win the race? It took a “steamed-y” approach!
13. Is it wrong to hate a certain race? Because I'm not really a fan of the Indy 500
14. My boss said he races boats So I said, Wow, you must be a fast swimmer!
15. Q. How did the barber win the race? A. He knew a shortcut.

Running Race Jokes

Here is a list of funny running race jokes and even better running race puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• My wife and I keep on collecting 5k race t-shirts, without actually participating in the races. It's our running joke
• Is it wrong to hate a certain race? I don't mind running a 5k, but my friends want to run in a 10k and I don't like 10ks
• A tomato; a tap and a hat were having a race... the tap was running but the hat was on ahead while the tomato couldn't ketchup.
• A new Zealand joke Why do New Zealand race horses run faster than other race horses?
  They saw what happened to the sheep
• Is your refrigerator running? Good, mine too. See you at the refrigerator race tomorrow.
• My friend invited me to go drag racing with him and I thought yeah that sounds fun Turns out it is really freaking hard to run in the heels
• I'm not racist I love all races Except marathons I hate running
• I went to a drag race yesterday It's amazing how fast men can run in heels.
• You're running a race in Norway. How do you know if you've passed the last Lap? When you reach the Finnish line...
• [OC] Why did the mayonnaise win the running race? Because the tomato sauce couldn't Ketchup.

Race Car Jokes

Here is a list of funny race car jokes and even better race car puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• My little cousin was showing off that he sleeps in a race car bed Jokes on him I sleep in a real car
• A car made of French bread just raced past me. It was a Baguetti Veyron.
• Why did the car get disqualified from the neighborhood drag race? >!No spoilers!<
• What kind of car racing comes from Mexico? Formula Juan
• Why did the bicycle not enter the car race? It was too tired.
• Why did everyone turn away when the race car drove past? It had a SPOILER on it.
• I realized I left my tuba in the car with the doors unlocked... I raced back as quick as I could and sure enough when I looked inside, there were two tubas.
• Why did the electric car finish the race early? It had a short circuit.
• Yo' Mama is like a race car: she burns through four rubbers a night.
• Three aboriginals in a car, who's the driver? The police.
  Also works with other minority races. Mileage may vary depending on audience.

Nascar Race Jokes

Here is a list of funny nascar race jokes and even better nascar race puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• Did you hear NASCAR and Formula One we're trying to make an Ultimate Showdown race but it got cancelled due to controversy? Apparently NASCAR fans didn't want to mix the races....
• What word starts with N, ends with R and is associated with a race? NASCAR
• Apparently NASCAR is banning all Confederate flags from its races. But how will drivers know they've entered the last lap of the race? 🏳
• What has an IQ of 100 and a full set of teeth? The front row at a NASCAR race.
• For those or you who say you don't see race You should, nascar is very fun to watch
• My friend was angry when NASCAR banned the Confederate flag from the races But he got angrier when I pointed out they still wave it on the final lap every race
• What do you call someone who thinks NASCAR is superior to any other racing sport? A racist.
• The Special Olympics is like Nascar. You're not watching it for the race...
• Im against other races Which is why I only watch NASCAR
• NASCAR got rid of the confederate flag from race tracks Another true end to race wars.

Race Track Jokes

Here is a list of funny race track jokes and even better race track puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• I met my ex at a race track Didnt quite work out, we just drifted away
• At the race track and saw a 100-1 horse win a race. I couldn't believe it, what are the odds of that.
• Just realized my poorly-upvoted posts end up being the answer to "what did the driver do at the race track?" [erased]
• What did the paraplegic track event and the Cold War have in common? They were both an arms race.
• What's the worst news for a NASCAR driver before a race? "The track is alright."
• I don't see race was the last thing I said after getting kicked off the track team.
• Why do some race drivers hate wet tracks? Because the water is a distraction.
• Why was the track runner with low self-esteem able to complete the race even after being impaled by a stray javelin? He didn't know he had it in him.
• Why aren't there any Politically Correct Track and Field athletes They don't see race
• I'm not Racist! I like all kinds of races. Drag racing, Nascar, dirt track, go-karts...

Horse Race Jokes

Here is a list of funny horse race jokes and even better horse race puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• If horse racing is the "sport of kings" is drag racing the sport of queens?
• My favorite gambling event is horse racing, but I'm bad at it. No matter how hard I try, the horses are just way faster.
• I lost all my money betting on horse races. Turns out they can run WAY faster than I can.
• Pregnant horses would be excellent in a race They have twice the horsepower
• I tried horse racing once, but I fell at the first fence. I might have done better if I had a horse
• 1 1 was a race horse 2 2 was 1 2
  1 1 1 1 race
  2 2 1 1 2
• I was absolutely devastated when my horse died. I had a lot of money riding on that race.
• My Dad's favorite sports are horse racing, bike racing, and women... ... basically anything where you can put a leg over something and ride it.
• Did you hear about the race between the horses with broken legs? It was lame.
• Why don't gelding horses like to race? Because every time they go to the starting gate they're reminded "They're Off!".

Comical Race Jokes to Spread Joy and Laughter

What funny jokes about race you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean runner jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make race pranks.