Raccoon Jokes

Funniest Raccoon Short Jokes

Short raccoon jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The raccoon humour may include short squirrel jokes also.

1. A vulture is boarding an airplane carrying two dead raccoons. The stewardess says, "I'm sorry sir, there is only one carrion allowed per passenger."
2. A vulture is boarding a plane with a dead raccoon under each wing, when the gate attendant stops him and says, "I'm sorry, sir..." "...but you're only allowed *one* carrion."
3. Two vultures board an airplane, each carrying two dead raccoons. The flight attendant looks at them and says, "I'm sorry, gentlemen, only one carrion allowed per passenger."
4. What did the stewardess say when the vulture tried to board the plane with two dead raccoons? "Sorry, only one carrion per passenger."
5. A vulture carried two dead raccoons onto an airplane. The flight attendant looked at him and said, "Sorry sir, only one carrion allowed per passenger."
6. My girlfriend is one of the worst cooks in the world Just last night the raccoons offered me money to chip in for a lock on my garbage bin!
7. The British are very strange people. They call pants 'trousers', shopping carts 'trolleys' and 6.7 raccoons in a human suit 'Prince Phillip'.
8. A vulture carrying two dead raccoons tries to board an airplane... and the flight attendant says, "I'm sorry, sir. You're only allowed one carrion."
9. Who would win at scrabble between a Squirrel and a Raccoon? The Squirrel, it has a Q in it!
10. What do you get when you cross a raccoon, and a steam roller? What do you get when you cross a raccoon, and a steam roller?
    Rascal Flatts.

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Raccoon One Liners

Which raccoon one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with raccoon? I can suggest the ones about rodent and rabbit hare.

1. How do you confuse a gay person? Raccoon.
2. Raccoons are the animal of 2020 They always wash their hands and wear a mask
3. What do you call a team of superpowered coyotes, raccoons, and vultures? The Scavengers.
4. Why aren't raccoons afraid of the rain? Because they're made out of hats.
5. "Raccoons"? Oh, you mean garbage pandas?
6. What is black, breaks into people's homes and kills people A RacCoon
7. I got a really clever joke! What did the Owl say to the Awl?
   I'm actually a raccoon.
8. Why did the elephant cross the road? To show the raccoon it's possible.
9. What does raccoon say to a lion king Raccoon say raccoon a matama
   ...
   Thank u my son
10. Pingu was originally supposed to be Rocket Raccoon's bodyguard. "I am noot."

Dead Raccoon Jokes

Here is a list of funny dead raccoon jokes and even better dead raccoon puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• So the other day I tried to bring 2 dead raccoons on an airplane... but the lady at the desk told me a second carrion costs extra.
• A vulture boards a plane... ...carrying with him two dead raccoons. The stewardess says, "I'm sorry, but we only allow each passenger one carrion."
• What did the flight attendant say to the vulture who dragged two dead raccoons onto the flight? I'm sorry sir, but you're only allowed one carrion
• Whats the difference between a lawyer and a raccoon? when found dead on the side of the road, the raccoon has skid marks in from of it.

Rocket Raccoon Jokes

Here is a list of funny rocket raccoon jokes and even better rocket raccoon puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• What did Rocket Raccoon say after getting stabbed in the back by the rest of the Guardians of the Galaxy? Et tu, Groote?
• How would rocket raccoon react if groot joined forces with Thanos in Infinity War? "et tu Groot?"

Bad Raccoon Jokes

Here is a list of funny bad raccoon jokes and even better bad raccoon puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• WHAT DO YOU CALL RACCOON WHO ATTEMPT TO MATE WITH GARBAGE BAG THIS IS VERY BAD. TO THIS RACOON YOU MUST SAY "DO NOT PLAY WITH YOUR FOOD."
  h**... h**... HEE HEE

Experience Good Cheer with Hilarious Raccoon Jokes and Friends

What funny jokes about raccoon you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean porcupine jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make raccoon pranks.