The Best 76 Rabbits Jokes
Following is our collection of funny Rabbits jokes. There are some rabbits chickens jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.
Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these rabbits bunny rabbit puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
Top 10 of the Funniest Rabbits Jokes and Puns
How do rabbits fly?
In hareplanes.
Two rabbits are eating carrots
...from farmer Brown's field. One turns to the other and says, "This carrot is pithy." The other rabbit says, "I guess so. I just pithed on it."
A woman had 2 pet rabbits.
When they both died unexpectedly, she decided to get them stuffed so she took them to a taxidermist.
"Would you like them mounted?" the taxidermist asked.
She thought about it for a moment and said, "no, holding hands is fine".
A magician pulls rabbits out of hats.
An experimental psychologist pulls habits out of rats.
I once knew a bald guy who liked to draw rabbits on his head
but from a distance they looked like hares
What's the difference between a magician and a psychologist?
A magician makes rabbits appear in hats, while a psychologist makes habits appear in rats.
Where do rabbits learn to fly?
The Hare Force
How do bunny rabbits like their beer brewed?
With lots of hops!
Two rabbits were 69ing. One says to the other, "hang on, I've got a hare in my mouth."
What do you call a group of rabbits backing up?
A Receding hairline
Bedroom animals
A pair of newlyweds are out for drinks with a middle-aged couple who have been married for twenty years.
Having knocked back a few, the older husband turns to the newlyweds and remarks with a wink: "I bet you two are like a couple of rabbits in the bedroom."
The newlyweds laugh awkwardly at this, and then the young husband asks "Well, what kind of bedroom animals are you two then?"
The older husband screws up his face and thinks about it for a moment, then exclaims wryly: "Don't know about me, but Margaret here would have to be a camel: she can go for weeks and weeks without sex."
Without missing a beat, Margaret replies: "That's funny because I was thinking George here would also be a camel: two humps and it's over."
You can explore rabbits hoppy reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean rabbits outnumber dad jokes. There are also rabbits puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
Why did the Duck flying in the sky get Shot?
Michael J Fox was hunting rabbits.
Worried about hair loss? Just draw little rabbits on your head.
From a distance they'll look like hares.
Why do rabbits love beer?
Because it's made of hops.
Making millions of dollars is like breeding rabbits.
It's much easier when you start with two.
Hey, do you like analogies? I got plenty!
I got analogy to rabbits, analogy to grass, analogy to mold...
Two rabbits were chased by hounds
They ran until they couldn't run anymore. Holed up in a hollow log, the rabbits were safely out of reach while the hounds bayed outside.
The boy rabbit looked at the girl rabbit and asked, "What do we do now?"
"We stay here until we outnumber them."
- Woody Guthrie
The CIA, FBI, and the KGB are tasked with finding a rabbit in a forest...
The CIA show up after a few days and release a 6000 word article on the fact that rabbits don't exist.
The FBI show up with a dead rabbit and say in a press release "The rabbit had it coming."
The KGB show up with a bruised and beaten bear. The bear is forced to make a statement "I am a rabbit, my father was a rabbit, and my mother is a rabbit. My whole family are rabbits!" the bear disappears shortly after...
Who has better beer: Rabbits or Kangaroos?
Kanagaroos. While they both do great with the hops, Kangaroos just have a little more kick!
Two rabbits were being chased by a pack of wolves.........?
Two rabbits were being chased by a pack of wolves. The wolves chased the rabbits into a thicket. After a few minutes, one rabbit turned to the other and said, "Well, do you want to make a run for it or stay here a few days and outnumber them?"
Why must rabbits never miss dinner?
With out their tea they'd be Rabbis.
An old lady's beloved pair of pet rabbits died
So she took them to the taxidermist to get them stuffed. The taxidermist asked her "would you like them mounted?" "No" she replied, "just holding hands."
What do you call a family of 8 rabbits?
One rabbyte
wife's insisting to quit job
The wife's insisting I quit my job, because she thinks it's cruel we've started testing our new products on rabbits.
She's got a point, I suppose...
I work in a hammer factory.
Two rabbits were being chased by a group of hunters
One turned to the other and asked "Do we make a run for it or stay here and outnumber them?"
what do you call 10 rabbits marching backwards?
A receding hairline
What do you call a group of rabbits walking backwards in single file.
Recieding hare line.
What do you call a line of hundreds of rabbits, moving backwards slowly?
A receding hareline
I had to stop breeding rabbits...
I found it to be a hare raising experience.
What do you call 100 rabbits walking backwards?
A receding hare line.
Two rabbits were being chased by a pack of wild dogs...
One says to the other "should we stop and outnumber them?"
...
"keep running you fool we're brothers!!"
I saw a man with a several rabbits on his head today...
When I inquired as to why he had rabbits on his head, he simply stated "From a distance they look like hares"
What do you call a group of French rabbits running backwards?
A retreating hare line.
A joke from my dad
A balding man said to his wife
"I've bought several rabbits for the garden"
Why?
"Well from a distance it'll look like I have lots of hare"
If you start going bald, get rabbits tattooed all over your head.
Until you get up close they look just like hares.
What do you get when a line of rabbits run backwards?
A receding hare line
Rabbits died
My neighbor's pair of pet rabbits died unexpectedly within hours of each other. She was distraught. I suggested she go to my friend the taxidermist. When she arrived, my friend tried to console her and she asked him if he could create a memorial. "Of course", he replied. He explained that he could stuff them and they would almost look lifelike. He asked if she would like them mounted.
"No" she said, "holding paws would be fine."
How do rabbits stay cold in the summer?
Hare conditioning
I used to breed rabbits.
Then I realized that they pretty much know what to do.
What do you call two Jewish rabbits?
rabbi
Where can you find flying rabbits?
In the hare force.
Little Johnny and his pet.
Dad walks by little johnny's room and hears "how much is 5 plus 5?"
He walks in and asks little johnny "why are you talking to your rabbit?"
Johnny says: "This one is stupid, the teacher told me that rabbits can multiply very fast but this one can't even add up"
What city has been completely overrun by rabbits?
Albany.
What kind of beer do rabbits drink?
Doesn't matter as long as it's hoppy
What's the difference between a scientist and a magician?
One pulls rabbits out of hats and the other polls habits out of rats
Why did the brewery keep rabbits on hand?
So they could add the hops.
What do you call a parade of rabbits hopping backwards?
A receding hare-line
What do you call a group of rabbits with little hats?
Rabbi.
A fire burned one entire forest and only one elder rabbit survived,you know why?
Because old rabbits die hard
What do rabbits use to make beer?
Bunny hops
What Type Of Music Do Rabbits Like ?
Hip-hop.
The man that pulled a rabbits teeth out
A rabbit poked a man and asked
Give me carrots, I want carrots
The man ignored the rabbit
The rabbit poked the man again
Give me carrots, I want carrots
The man is annoyed at this point, but continues to ignore the rabbit
Again rabbit pokes the man
Give me carrots I said
The man grabs the rabbit and pulls out the rabbits teeth
Rabbit pokes the man again and says
Give me carrot juice
Catching rabbits
How do you catch a unique rabbit?
Unique up on it.
How do you catch a tame rabbit?
Tame way, unique up on it.
How do you catch a common rabbit?
Comm-on, tame way, unique up on it.
A man is walking to his car late at night
When he sees a woman on a shady corner. He goes up to ask if she's alright and she responds
"I'm a hooker, are you interested?"
The man decides to live a little and takes her up on her offer and they go back to his car and go at it like rabbits.
Some time during, a cop pulls up and knocks on the window.
"Excuse me sir what exactly are you doing?"
The man answers "I'm having sex with my wife"
The cop replies with "I apologize, I didn't know."
The man responds with "Me neither."
I've opened up a barber shop for rabbits
I do hare cuts, only.
A police officer candidate goes for an interview...
The officer says, "Take this pistol and shoot A TALL BLACK GUY AND THREE WHITE RABBITS."
So the candidate asks,"why the three white rabbits?".
Officer"that's the kind of attitude we're looking for. You're selected".
Why can't bald people eat rabbits?
They don't have hare.
A man was going bald, so he got rabbits tattooed on to his head.
From a distance they looked like hares.
What do you call a row of rabbits hopping away?
A receding hare line.
What do you call two thousand rabbits running in reverse?
A receding hare line.
What do you call a group of rabbits
A nest
What do you call a group of birds
A flock
What do you call a group of Lions
Dangerous
Why don't rabbits make noise when they're having sex?
Cotton balls.
Hope it hasn't been done before
A hunter is talking with another hunter "Yesterday, we went on hunt with the others and I killed 3 rabbits, 2 foxes et 5 notuss"
The other hunter replied "What's a notuss ?"
The first hunter then said "I don't know, while I was shooting they were shouting "Not us, not us !""
Two rabbits were being chased by a pack of wolves.
The wolves chased the rabbits into a thicket. After a few minutes, one rabbit turned to the other and said, "Well, do you want to make a run for it or stay here a few days and outnumber them?
You have 50 rabbits, and you give 10 away, how many do you have?
76
How do dyslexic rabbits pass the time?
They buck like funnies.
While I was walking down the street I saw someone pushing a shopping trolley
The shopping trolley was fully of horseshoes, four leaf clovers and rabbits feet. I asked them what they were doing. They told me they were pushing their luck.
A vulture boards an airplane carrying two dead rabbits.
And the flight attendant says "Sorry sir, only one carrion per passenger."
How do you know carrots are good for your eyes?
Because you never see rabbits wearing glasses
I enjoy painting wildlife.
But the rabbits leave hair on my paint rollers.
Why can't you hear rabbits making love?
***Because they have cotton balls.***
Did you hear about the bald man?
yeah, he tattooed rabbits all over his head. From a distance they look like hares.
I love my vegetarian-only diet.
Lambs, Cows, Deers, Rabbits. They're all vegetarians and they're delicious!!
What's the difference between a magician and a psychology researcher?
A magician pulls rabbits out of hats, a psychology researcher pulls habits out of rats.
My dad's latest dad joke
My dad raises rabbit and goes through a lot of hay. As we're getting a new bale out a truck drives by with big round bales.
Me: that would keep you in hay for awhile.
D: rabbits can't eat those.
Me: what? Why not?
D: not good for them
Me:You mean the type of hay
D: nope, can't have those big round ones.
(This back and forth keeps going for like ten minute as I suggest why they can't have them and his just saying no)
Me: is there an actual reason why they can't have that hay?
D: (smirks) they won't get a square meal
Me:(floored)…did you just wind me up for like ten minutes to tell me a dad joke??!
D: yeah
Where did Quasimodo keep his rabbits?
In a hutch, back of Notre Dame.
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the rabbits petshop jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working rabbits easter rabbit piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.