Rabbit Jokes
167 rabbit jokes and hilarious rabbit puns to laugh out loud. Read animal jokes about rabbit that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
This article is full of hilarious rabbit jokes that are sure to put a smile on your face.
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Funniest Rabbit Short Jokes
Short rabbit jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The rabbit humour may include short unicorn jokes also.
- A priest, a Baptist minister, and a rabbit walk into the Red Cross to donate blood The nurse asks, what's your blood type?
The rabbit says, "I'm probably a Type O" - A priest, a rabbit and a minister walk into a bar. The bartender asks the rabbit What can I get you to drink .
The rabbit says I have no idea, I'm only here because of autocorrect . - Why did the rabbit suspect his wife was cheating on him? He kept finding different hares in his bed.
- If I had a dollar for every time I saw that rabbit typo joke reposted here I'd be a millionhare
- If I ever start to go bald I'll get a rabbit tattooed onto my head..
From a distance it would look like a hare - Children are so unappreciative these days. I bought my daughter a rabbit.
She just keeps complaining about how it "doesn't count if it's roadkill". - Apparently, elton john owns a pygmy rabbit that is super hyper and runs all the time. It's a little, fit bunny.
- I once knew a bald guy who liked to draw rabbits on his head but from a distance they looked like hares
- Had a rabbit that would come by every morning. I'd leave a bit of food for him. But he stopped coming one day. Now he's just some bunny that I used to know.
- A monk, priest, and rabbit walk into a blood bank... The rabbit turns to the other two and says, I think I'm a type-O.
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Rabbit One Liners
Which rabbit one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with rabbit? I can suggest the ones about rats and frog.
- What do you call 100 rabbits walking backwards? A receding hare line.
- Elton John bought his pet rabbit to the gym... "It's a little fit bunny...."
- What do you call a king's rabbit? The hare to the throne
- how do you catch a rabbit? Hide behind a bush and make a noise like a carrot.
- What do you call a rabbit that tells jokes on the first day of spring? A funny bunny!
- What's invisible and smells like carrots? Rabbit Farts
- What did the rabbit use to propose to his girlfriend? A 24-carrot ring
- What do you call a family of 8 rabbits? One rabbyte
- What's a flying rabbit have on its back? An eagle
- You have 50 rabbits, and you give 10 away, how many do you have? 76
- What do you call a rabbit that's raised indoors? An in-grown hare!:)
- What do you call two Jewish rabbits? rabbi
- Why was her name Jessica Rabbit? Because of the RED HARE!
- What do you get if you crossbreed a rabbit with an insect? Bugs Bunny
- I went to the pet store today and stole a rabbit. Then I made a run for it.
Rabbit Hare Jokes
Here is a list of funny rabbit hare jokes and even better rabbit hare puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- I almost hit a rabbit on my way home last night. Missed him by a hare.
- I ordered rabbit stew but had to return it. There was a hare in my soup
- I've opened up a barber shop for rabbits I do hare cuts, only.
- Two rabbits were 69ing. One says to the other, "hang on, I've got a hare in my mouth."
- Why can't bald people eat rabbits? They don't have hare.
- A rabbit walks into... A hare salon
- I had to stop breeding rabbits... I found it to be a hare raising experience.
- Why did the bald man put a rabbit on his head? Cause it looked like hare from a distance.
- What do you call two rabbits in a fist fight? Hare knuckle boxing.
- What do you call a 1000 rabbit stepping backwards? A receding hare line!
Tap snare!
Bunny Rabbit Jokes
Here is a list of funny bunny rabbit jokes and even better bunny rabbit puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- What's the difference between a clown and an athletic rabbit? One is a little bit funny and the other is a little fit bunny
- 3 months ago, Senator McConnell took my rabbit. Mitch better have my bunny.
- What do you get if you cross a frog with a rabbit? A bunny ribbit
- What do you call a snuggly rabbit? Hugs Bunny
- What do you call a rabbit with fleas? Bugs Bunny...
Happy Easter - I can't find my pet rabbit anywhere, I think my buddy Mitchell took it. Mitch better have my bunny.
- Did you hear about the frog that was raised by bunnies? All it can say is "rabbit".
- Bad money What is the difference between an angry rabbit and a counterfeit dollar bill?
One is bad money and the other is a mad bunny. - Three swedes found mysterious tracks from the forest "It is a bunny." Said the first
"It is a rabbit." Said the second
the third one bowed to look and a train ran over him. - What do you call a rabbit that is closer to the sunrise than you? An East-er bunny
Rabbit And Carrot Jokes
Here is a list of funny rabbit and carrot jokes and even better rabbit and carrot puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Two rabbits are eating carrots ...from farmer Brown's field. One turns to the other and says, "This carrot is pithy." The other rabbit says, "I guess so. I just pithed on it."
- I was going to tell some rabbit jokes But people tend not to carrot all about them.
- How do you know carrots are good for your eyes? Because you never see rabbits wearing glasses
- What does the rich rabbit wear? 24 carrots
- How do you catch a rabbit? Lie in a field and make carrot noises.
Thanks, I'll grab my coat. - Why does a rabbit like diamonds? Because they are measured in carrots.
- How to know if a rabbit is depressed? He no longer carrot all about his life
- How do you find a lost rabbit? Make a carrot noise.
- What did one rabbit say to the other? Wanna play hide the carrot?
- What do rabbits eat when listening to Bruno Mars? 24 Carrots
Rabbit Hole Jokes
Here is a list of funny rabbit hole jokes and even better rabbit hole puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- My friend and I got into a conversation about Furries. In the end we ended up deep in a rabbit hole.
- When googling Gary Oldman, be very careful.... ....I forgot the 'r' and went down a rabbit hole I wasn't prepared for.
- What do you get when you pour very hot water down a rabbit hole? Hot cross bunnies.
- A rabbit seeks for his hole in a Czech pub Apparently all the holes are taken up
- What do you get when you cross an elephant and a rabbit? A dead rabbit with a big hole.
- Two flying turtles found a rabbit inside a hole The rabbit cried out, "Is it midnight?"
Comical Rabbit Jokes and Gems that Will Get You in Laughter Land
What funny jokes about rabbit you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean monkey jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make rabbit pranks.
My favorite blond joke of all time...
So two blondes were analyzing some tracks. The first one insisted they were rabbit prints, while the second blond was certain they were made by a raccoon. Back and forth they argued, rabbit tracks, raccoon tracks, rabbit tracks. Then they got hit by a train.
The Rabbit, The bear, and The genie.
A bear is chasing a rabbit through the woods. The rabbit trips on a glistening metal object. The bear quickly picks up the object which appears to be a silver oil lamp.
A genie appeared forth.
The genie looked at the bear then the rabbit, then back at the bear.
"Alright, which of you schmucks freed me?"
"Me" the bear and rabbit said simultaneously.
The genie looked at the rabbit, then back at the bear. "Alright, I'm in a good mood, so you both get three wishes. Who's going first?"
The bear volunteered. "I wish all the other bears in this forest were female" He said.
"I wish I had a motorcycle" said the rabbit.
"Done and done" said the genie. Next wish?
The bear got a dumb smile and said "I wish all the other bears in the surrounding forests were female."
The rabbit hopped on the motorcycle. "I wish I was wearing a helmet"
"Alright. easy enough."
The bear a grin across his face yelled "I wish all the other bears in the world were female!"
The rabbit revved the engine, put on some goggles and as he sped away yelled "I wish the bear was gay!"
Witty Answer from a Four Year Old
Mom just informed me that I said this when I was little. The original punch line is "Make a sound like a carrot".
MOM: "How do you catch a rabbit?"
ME: "Have someone throw one at you."
What do you call a rabbit who lifts weights?
A jacked rabbit.
What do you call a rabbit in a beanie and listening to vinyl?
A Hopster.
A joke my 4 year old nephew made up. (It makes no sense, but still made me laugh.)
If the three legged turtle crosses the road what color is the rabbit?
Green! Because Space Jam was a good movie.
My grandpa always told me this joke, hope you like it.
A frog in trousers hopped across a meadow.
Upon meeting a rabbit, the frog said:
"I am a cow, I am a cow!".
The rabbit looked angry and said,
"You are not a cow, you're a frog!".
So the frog pulled down his trousers and the rabbit stuttered in disbelief: "Holy cow!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
i was cutting boards at work...
i was cutting boards at work, as i went to bring my saw down to do a cut a rabbit jumped right on the cutting table and got cut right in half, my boss ran over and said "you just chopped that rabbit in half" and i said "no i cut it in half" to which he responded "now you are just splitting hairs
On earth: A magician puts his hand in his hat.
In the rabbit realm: The Hand emerges. It is time. The rabit council must choose another sacrifice.
Why can't Rabbit tell Winnie the Pooh to stop eating honey on Tumblr?
Because he may get Tiggered
How many magicians does it take to pull a rabbit out of a hat?
One. It's a trick question.
Two blondes are walking through a forrest...
They come across some tracks and the first blonde says." I think these are deer tracks". The second blonde says." No these look like rabbit tracks". They keep arguing untill an hour later they were hit by a train.
A classic from my grandfather.
How do you catch a unique rabbit?
Unique up on it.
How do you catch a tame rabbit?
Tame way. Unique up on it.
A blind rabbit and a blind slug
A blind rabbit and a blind slug are moving through the woods until the two of them bump into each other.
The slug reaches out, touches the rabbit, and says "You're soft and fluffy. You must be a rabbit."
The rabbit reaches out, touches the slug, and says "You're cold and slimy. You must be a politician."
Two rabbits were being chased by a pack of wolves.........?
Two rabbits were being chased by a pack of wolves. The wolves chased the rabbits into a thicket. After a few minutes, one rabbit turned to the other and said, "Well, do you want to make a run for it or stay here a few days and outnumber them?"
A man asks his friend to stop telling animal puns.
His friend says "Sorry, it's a bad rabbit I have."
Two cow talking in a field
The first one ask :
"aren't you afraid about this terrible disease from the neighbor's farm called" mad cow" ? "
The second one looked at her, surprised, and answered :
" I don't care... I'm a rabbit"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
LifeProTip: If your child wants to help name your pet...
..let them pick the middle name. That way if they pick something silly, you can still refer to your pet by the normal name. For example, my 4 year old's rabbit is now named
Peter "floppy-eared-princess" Smith
Similarly, my 15 year old's gecko is named
Freddy "f**...-you-this-isn't-a-phase" Smith
A rabbit walks into a men's clothing store...
And the clerk says,"May I help you, sir?"
"Yes", says the rabbit. "I'd like a BLT with some coleslaw please."
"I'm sorry sir", says the clerk," but we don't have that here."
"Oh, ok.", says the slightly deflated rabbit. "I guess I'll have a house salad."
"Sir," replies the slightly annoyed clerk," we don't have that. Is there something else I can help you with?"
"Well," says the rabbit," in that case I'll just have a bowl of tomato soup."
The clerk is now incensed. "Sir, we don't have food! The sign outside clearly says 'men's clothing store'! Can't you read?"
"Listen, buddy", says the rabbit,"if I could read, I would have asked you for a menu!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Saw a guy in a bar with a rabbit on his face
So I saw a guy in a bar with a rabbit on his face,
obviously i asked him, hey whats the deal with the rabbit on your face?
He replied "hey it's not a rabbit, its a f**... hair".
A priest and a minister were golfing...
...when the minister swung and hit a rabbit with his shot. They both went up to the rabbit and saw that it was dead. Then the priest takes a small bottle out of his pocket and pours the contents onto the rabbit. Immediately the rabbit wakes up and hops away.
The minister says "Wow, I've never seen holy water do that!"
And the priest says, "That wasn't holy water... it was hare restorer."
What do you get when you crossbreed a horse with a rabbit?
A dead rabbit.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What's the worst part of eating rabbit?
Their little legs k**... you in the forehead.
What's the difference between United Airlines and a magician's hat?
You can't pull a live rabbit out of a United jet.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
While wandering through the woods....
I came upon a rabbit who said he could jump over the moon. So I shot him. Then I happened upon a deer who said he was faster than the speed of light. So I shot him. Then a bear appeared and said he was in the Russian space program. So I shot him.
Remember, only you can prevent forest liars.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Lesson 4 of 6: The Crow and the Rabbit
A crow was sitting on a tree, doing nothing all day. A rabbit asked him, can I also sit like you and do nothing all day long? The crow answered: sure, why not! So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the crow, and rested.
A fox jumped on the rabbit and ate it.
**Moral of the story**: To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very high up.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I dyed my hair...
I mean, I killed my rabbit.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
TIL during the shooting of "Who framed Roger Rabbit?", Porky Pig was accused of s**... harassing Tinkerbell
On contacting Porky Pig, he replied "Th- Th- Th- That's all Hoax!"
Who provides tech support for Israel?
RabbIT
I fancy having a bit of Rabbit for my dinner tonight.
Could anyone tell me if it's cheaper from a Butchers or a pet shop.?
Why is the sky so dark above Rabbit City?
Because of the hare pollution!
My friend told me he'd failed his driving test for running over a rabbit
I said they couldn't fail you for that, he said they can when it's in the butcher's window.
Two boys are walking through the woods and one of them gets an idea of a funny prank.
He picks up some rabbit turds and after a few minutes of walking, stops, and says, "want some smart-pills?" The other boy said "sure" takes a couple, and swallows them whole.
"I don't feel any smarter."
"Take a couple more." And he does.
Moments later, eyes coming to realization,"Say, if I didn't know any better, I'd say those were rabbit turds."
"Now you're getting smarter."
Three hawks had a hunting contest
The first one went and came back with blood on its beak. They asked him what happened. He said "Do you see that tree over there?". They said "yeah". He said "I hunted a rabbit near it".
The second one went and came back with even more blood on its beak. They asked him what happened. He said "Do you see that rock over there?". They said "yeah". He said "I hunted a deer near it".
The third one went and came back with blood all over him. They asked him what happened. He said "Do you see that lamppost over there?". They said "yeah". He said "I didn't."
Two people are walking in the woods
Suddenly, they come across a set of tracks. One of the tells the other that they're rabbit tracks. The other insists that they are fox tracks.
They were still arguing when the train hit them.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A long-neck giraffe is eating with a rabbit in the forest
... and then the giraffe brags, "Bet you are really envious of my long neck. When I'm eating, delicious food usually lingers in my t**... and oh my, the taste, the scent, that feels really good!"
The rabbit swallows a mouthful real fast and then asks,
"Have you ever puked?"
The man that pulled a rabbits teeth out
A rabbit poked a man and asked
Give me carrots, I want carrots
The man ignored the rabbit
The rabbit poked the man again
Give me carrots, I want carrots
The man is annoyed at this point, but continues to ignore the rabbit
Again rabbit pokes the man
Give me carrots I said
The man grabs the rabbit and pulls out the rabbits teeth
Rabbit pokes the man again and says
Give me carrot juice
Hedgehog was pulling a rope in the forest
The rabbit saw and asked: "Why you are pulling this rope?" "You know... It's very hard to push it"replied hedgehog.
Wife driving the car ....
WIFE: honey?
Husband: yes dear
WIFE: did something hit the car
Husband: yes deer
WIFE: do you know what it was
Husband: yes deer
WIFE: was it an animal
Husband: yes deer
WIFE: was it a rabbit
Husband: no deer
(copied)
Did you hear about the magician that tortured his props?
He pulled a hat out of a rabbit.
If I ran a night club I'd hire a rabbit to guard the front door.
I heard they're good bouncers.
Can rabbit jump higher than a sky scraper?
Of course, a sky scraper can't jump...
I was balding and losing confidence so I had a rabbit tattooed on my scalp.
People tell me, from a distance it looks like hare.
A boy came to a restaurant with his dad
Waiter: What would you like to order?
Dad: I'll have the rabbit stew.
Waiter: Ok. Only if you promise not to say ''Waiter, there's a hare in my stew'' after I bring it to you
Dad:
Waiter:
Dad: I'll have the chicken
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
If you ever need to look like you have a beard, glue a rabbit to your face.
And presto-chango, f**... hare!
My dog came bounding into the house this morning with the neighbour's rabbit hanging lifeless from it's jaws.
Panic set in and so I scrubbed it clean and got all the blood marks off until it was pure white again. I then sneaked into their garden and popped it back in its hutch.
That evening my neighbour knocked at my door and said "I can't believe it, flopsy is lying dead in its hutch and the kids are hysterical."
"Sorry to hear that" I replied nervously.
"The strange thing is" he said "we buried it a couple of days ago."
I tried to translate a joke
General ordered soldier to catch a rabbit and make a soup while he is taking a nap. When he woke up he see a bowl of soup on table. Amused General asked soldier how did you catch rabbit in that short time?
Soldier replied I saw a rabbit running around and shot it immediately, it didn't even have a chance to meow
What do a grape and a rabbit have in common?
They're both purple except for the rabbit.
What do you get when you cross a rabbit with a snake?
A jump rope.
The CIA, KGB and MI6 decide to have a contest.
Each is given the task to find a rabbit
realeased in the woods.
The CIA uses spyplanes and satellites and finds the rabbit in 2 hours.
The MI6 deploys recon and search teams and finds it in 3 hours.
The KGB return after 1 hour with a badly beaten bear who cries out "I am the rabbit and I surrender".
A vulture arrives at the airport check-in. He's carrying a dead rabbit under one wing.
"Return ticket to Death Valley please."
"Pleasure trip?"
"Yup, sort of a u-pick kind of thing."
"LOL, very good! Ok, here you go. Are you checking the rabbit?"
"No, this is carrion."
What do you call a depressed rabbit?
Unhoppy
I had this new kind of meat the other day. It was Himalayan rabbit.
The only issue is, I found Himalayan on the road.
Why is the rabbit the strongest animal there is?
Why is the rabbit the strongest animal there is?
Because it can fly, even with an eagle on its back.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What do you get when you cross a rabbit with a h**... toad?
I don't know, but you would sure get a lot of them.
