Rabbit Hare Jokes

Lara Rabbit: "Do you think that's Sophie's natural color?"
Zara Rabbit: "Only her hare dresser knows for sure."

What did the magician say when he made his rabbit disappear?
Hare today, gone tomorrow.

What do you call an ugly rabbit that sits on someone's forehead?
Unsightly f**... hare.

What do you call an unusual rabbit?
A rare hare.

What do you call it when one rabbit challenges another rabbit to hop across a forty-yard canyon?
A hare dare.

What's a rabbits favorite musical?
Hare.

Why did the bald man paint rabbits on his head?
Because from a distance they looked like hares.

The most groan-worthy joke in existence...

Q: How do you catch a rabbit?
A: A hare net.

What do you get when you throw a rabbit at someone's head?

f**... Hare

Where do rabbits learn to fly?

The Hare Force

I watched an exciting documentary about rabbit farmers...

it was hare-raising.

I make rabbit tuxedos for a living.

I'm a hare-dresser.

What does a wolf cough up after eating a rabbit?

A hare ball

What do you call a rabbit that gets under your skin?

An ingrown hare.

Worried about hair loss? Just draw little rabbits on your head.

From a distance they'll look like hares.

I used to have a rabbit farm.

It was a hare raising experience.

I want to order rabbit at a fancy restaurant

and then complain there is a hare in my food.

Did you hear about the guy who almost got convicted for having s**... with a rabbit?

He got off by a hare.

I cheated in the annual rabbit racing contest.....

I won by a hare

A man was balding very quickly

But he did not want to get a hair transplant nor did he want to take some odd medicine for it. So he decided to tattoo a rabbit on his scalp instead.
A friend of the man asked: "Why would you tattoo a rabbit on your head?"
The man answered: "Because from a distance it looks like hare."

What do you call a group of rabbits walking backwards in single file.

Recieding hare line.

I've finally succeeded in creating a zombie rabbit.

The results are hare raising.

What do you call it when a rabbit tactfully jumps in front of a line?

A nice hare cut

What do you call 100 rabbits all stuck together and rolling down a hill?

Hare ball.

I saw a man with a several rabbits on his head today...

When I inquired as to why he had rabbits on his head, he simply stated "From a distance they look like hares"

What do you call a group of French rabbits running backwards?

A retreating hare line.

A bunny...

It used to be a bunny, but after the dog with rabies bit it, it's rabbit.
*I'll just grab my coat and show myself out now...I know I almost nailed it. Just a hare short of a great joke*

Two Bald Eagles

A bald eagle decides to stop by a small lake to get a drink. As he's drinking another bald eagle lands next to him.
He looks at the eagle and notices a tulip, a rose, and a rabbit's foot on top of his head.
"What's with the stuff on your head?", the eagle asks.
"Oh this?", he points to his head with his wing, "I'm trying hare in plants."

A priest and a minister were golfing...

...when the minister swung and hit a rabbit with his shot. They both went up to the rabbit and saw that it was dead. Then the priest takes a small bottle out of his pocket and pours the contents onto the rabbit. Immediately the rabbit wakes up and hops away.
The minister says "Wow, I've never seen holy water do that!"
And the priest says, "That wasn't holy water... it was hare restorer."
Credit to my priest told this joke this morning.

A joke from my dad

A balding man said to his wife
"I've bought several rabbits for the garden"
Why?
"Well from a distance it'll look like I have lots of hare"

Q: Have You Ever Eaten Rabbit?

A: No, but I once found a hare in my soup.

If you start going bald, get rabbits tattooed all over your head.

Until you get up close they look just like hares.

What do you call an unborn rabbit?

An ingrown hare.

Did you hear the joke about the sorcerer and the levitating rabbit?

I'll tell you, but be warned; it's a hare-raising tale!

What did one bush say to another when it got eaten by a rabbit?

Nice hare cut.

Why was the rabbits fur so messy?

He was having a bad hare day.

How do rabbits stay cold in the summer?

Hare conditioning

How did the rabbit know his wife was having an affair?

He found a hare in his bed.

What do you call a row of rabbits replanting a garden?

A re-seeding hare line.

How can a rabbit have babies with a fish?

It's a hare roe-ing tail

I spent a summer working on a rabbit farm.

It was a hare raising experience.

Why is the sky so dark above Rabbit City?

Because of the hare pollution!

Where can you find flying rabbits?

In the hare force.

What do you call a cross between a cat and a rabbit?

A "p**...-hare"

Saw a guy with a rabbit on his face.

Apparently it wasn't a rabbit, it was a f**... hare.

What did the man say to get the rabbit out of his house?

Get outta hare!

Why do people eat rabbit meat?

Aren't they disgusted by the hare in their food?

What does riding a roller coaster have in common with breeding rabbits?

They are both hare raising.

Met a guy in a bar with a rabbit on his face. What's that? I said..

A f**... hare he replies

I went out partying and drinking last night, and I forgot to feed my pet rabbit.

I really let my hare down.

My brother has been out of town for a month and I've had to take care of his pet rabbit the whole time.

Let me tell ya...it's been hare raising.

I was balding and losing confidence so I had a rabbit tattooed on my scalp.

People tell me, from a distance it looks like hare.

Where does a rabbit go for a trim?

To the hare dresser.

A boy came to a restaurant with his dad

Waiter: What would you like to order?
Dad: I'll have the rabbit stew.
Waiter: Ok. Only if you promise not to say ''Waiter, there's a hare in my stew'' after I bring it to you
Dad:
Waiter:
Dad: I'll have the chicken

Restaurant

WAITER: are you ready to order?
DAD: I'll have the rabbit stew
WAITER: only if you promise not to say "waiter there's a hare in my soup" after I bring it
DAD:
WAITER:
DAD: I'll have the chicken

If you ever need to look like you have a beard, glue a rabbit to your face.

And presto-chango, f**... hare!

My friend always has the most ridiculous stories. Yesterday he called me and said he had his hand up a rabbit.

I said, "Get out of hare?!"

What do you call two thousand rabbits running in reverse?

A receding hare line.

What do you call a line of rabbits walking backwards?

A receding hare-line.
Hat tip to whoever posted the previous hair-themed rabbit joke.

What do you call a prince rabbit?

The "hare" to the throne

Did you hear about the bald man?

yeah, he tattooed rabbits all over his head. From a distance they look like hares.

There's a guy in my neighbourhood who I used to think was really weird. I'd always see him out walking his rabbit. The rabbit was always in a different outfit. One day a frock. One day a skirt. One day a suit-jacket combo. Then it multiplied into a flock of rabbits, all wearing really niche clothes.

Eventually, curiosity got the better of me and I approached him and asked "excuse me sir, I can't help but notice your entourage of dapper rabbits. Can I ask what you do?"
He replied "Oh I'm a hare stylist."

Why didn't the rabbit hunter want to be on TV?

Because he was having a bad hare day.