Following is our collection of funny Quote jokes. There are some quote quotation jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.
Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these quote remark puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
I'm so mad that I didn't come up with that quote.
If someone is having second thoughts about booking a trip in native American territory, you could say they are having a reservation reservation reservation.
...
Good thing self posts don't grant negative karma >.>
people would buy into it and take it seriously."
- Winston Churchill
What they reveal is suggestive, but what they conceal is vital.
Edit- This is a famous quote by Aaron Levenstein. A Professor told this to a friend.
Hi Invention, I'm Dad.
"Deep down, every human being just wants to be remembered." β *anonymous*
If you don't have a good partner, you better have a good hand
Edit 1: when you cheat in poker you have a partner
Edit 2: this is getting more upvotes than I thought it would get but before someone calls me out on it. This was a Mae West quote about bridge and several Internet memes put poker instead of bridge because more people play poker than bridge and when you cheat in poker you have partners(the poker strategy is called collusion)
Q: Do you like it hear in America?
K: Yes.
Q: Why?
K: Because the sky here is blue.
Representing himself, the cannibal was asked by the judge if he had anything to say.
"If the quote "You are what you eat" is true then I am an innocent man."
He said " I have nothing to declare but my genius. Oscar Wilde, 1882 ".
I replied "Sarcasm is the lowest form of wit. Oscar Wilde, 1882 ".
Marrying your lawnmower is fine, but when it comes time to leave, writing that John Deere letter is the toughest part.
You can explore quote thou reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean quote great quotes dad jokes. There are also quote puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
The category was "Describe your sex life with a Spongebob quote"
and apparently "ARE YOU READY KIDS?" was not the right answer.
But I don't like to quote out of con text.
...and the bartender says "are you feeling all right?" The horse replies,"I don't think I am," *POOF* the horse disappears. This is of course a joke referencing the famous quote "I think, therefore I am." I would have explained this ahead of time but I didn't want to put *Descartes* before the horse.
Mine would be 'I did not have sexual relations with that woman' - Bill Clinton
"Traffic is heavier than I expected."
"The problem with the french is that they don't have a word for entrepreneurs"
its not the best way to tell your kid that hes adopted.
"Don't cry because it is over. Smile because it happened." -Adolf Hitler, 1945
I wish I'd thought of that quote.
Woman: Did you just quote Eminem?
Doctor: Your husband's alcohol poisoning is not a joke, madam!
He replied,"Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Deport him and you do not have to feed him again."
Trump 20:16
"Are ya ready Kids?"
... are smarter than the high school graduates. At least the bombs can find Iraq on the maps.
(quote by
Alan Whitney Brown of SNL fame)
I can't remember exactly how it went. I just remember it being very deep
"Hello."
Great movie quote, terrible pickup lineβ¦
Have you walked 500 miles?
Have you been asked to walk 500 more?
You may be entitled to compensation!!!
For your free no obligation quote call the Pro-Claimers now!!
Take what you can, give nothing back!
I'm all shook upβ¦
People will believe you 80% of the time.
Everytime you quote it, it's out of context
"Don't quote me on this."
With great reflexes, comes great response ability.
"Don't ever start anything with a quote!"
Disclaimer : Above quote is not for blind people as they can't see.
Shouldn't have wrote that on my resume when I applied for a fireman.
You can't spell "success" without "succ".
"It's really weird stuffing money into a stripper's G string when every billΒ has a photo of your grandmother printed on it."
Someone told me that's called 'college'.
No.
They said they couldn't help me as my garden was portrait
Case of Apples - $20.99
Case of Oranges - $25.99
Bag of chips - $2.50
Cigarettes - $8.99
Box of candles - $4.50
Frozen pizzas - $6.50
Asking for a quote of these items - Price List
#"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"
$50 for the outside, $400 for the inside.
One of my fav quote from C&H
A Super Saiyan
My last words to her were Alright, let's split up gang.
Satan can quote scripture.
" bUT thE eCOnoMy"
"Every great quote will eventually be misattributed to Albert Einstein"
Apparently when she asks, "How do I look?"
"That'll do, Pig. That'll do," isn't the right movie quote...
Johann Gottfried
"The man who views the world at 50 the same as he did at 20 has wasted 20 years of his life."
I'd give my reason but you wouldn't get it
ME: alllllllllrighty then
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the quote inhuman jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working quote citation piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.