Quote Jokes

Funniest Quote Short Jokes

Short quote jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The quote humour may include short tweet jokes also.

1. Donald Trump was asked if he could quote any Bible verses. He replied,"Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Deport him and you do not have to feed him again."
   Trump 20:16
2. "One mans trash is another mans treasure" is a great quote but, its not the best way to tell your kid that hes adopted.
3. Statistics are like bikinis. What they reveal is suggestive, but what they conceal is vital.
   Edit- This is a famous quote by Aaron Levenstein. A Professor told this to a friend.
4. In order to attract women I like to use this quote from shakespeare's Hamlet, Act III, Scene IV, line 82. "Hello."
5. My girlfriend is angry with me for incorrectly quoting the Princess Bride Unbelievable!
   ​
6. A cannibal in a courtroom Representing himself, the cannibal was asked by the judge if he had anything to say.
   "If the quote "You are what you eat" is true then I am an innocent man."
7. Want to know what the definition of insanity is? The definition of insanity is mindlessly repeating a quote that Einstein never said.
8. My wife said she'd leave me if I kept quoting Shrek and I didn't believe her But then I saw her face
9. My wife just left me, screaming, "ALL YOU EVER DO IS QUOTE elvis PRESLEY LYRICS TO ME!" I'm all shook up…
10. My favorite quote. "Deep down, every human being just wants to be remembered." – *anonymous*

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Quote One Liners

Which quote one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with quote? I can suggest the ones about phrase and essay.

1. "Dead or alive, you're coming with me." Great movie quote, terrible pickup line…
2. My grandfather always said, "Be envied, not envious." I wish I'd thought of that quote.
3. To quote the UN today #"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"
4. As a wise man once said, "Don't quote me on this."
5. What was that Spiderman quote again? With great reflexes, comes great response ability.
6. I hate it when people quote the movie Joker I'd give my reason but you wouldn't get it
7. To quote my late father... "Traffic is heavier than I expected."
8. Inspirational quote of the day: You can't spell "success" without "succ".
9. To quote all of Bill Cosby's victims: No.
10. I used to be addicted to quoting Taylor Swift But I think I'm finally clean.
11. My brother told me to stop quoting The Village People I said 'Young man.'
12. A quote from the Father of Invention. Hi Invention, I'm Dad.
13. What is a quote by Goku called? A Super Saiyan
14. Yo mama so ugly, when we took her to the beautician, it took her 12 hours... for a quote!
15. A wise teacher once told me... "Don't ever start anything with a quote!"

Inspirational Quote Jokes

Here is a list of funny inspirational quote jokes and even better inspirational quote puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• Do you know what I hate? Inspirational quotes Because no matter what you read, only you can be the driving force behind your success.
• My grandma once told me an inspiring quote about the ocean I can't remember exactly how it went. I just remember it being very deep
• I used to store motivational quotes that I found online, onto the cloud, for whenever I needed some inspiration. Unfortunately I forgot the password for my Google account.
  I have no Drive.
• Most Contradictory Inspirational Quote Ever? "Follow Your Dreams."
  -Freddy Kreuger, 2016
• Oscar Pistorius was a great man, with some inspirational quotes. My favourite is "If you've only taken one shot, don't say you've tried."
• Funny Quotes Archives - Quotes Love Life Friendship Family & Inspirational

Senior Quote Jokes

Here is a list of funny senior quote jokes and even better senior quote puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• Future surgeon here and this is going to be my senior yearbook quote ​
  Dan Brady
  "I love the feeling when I can make people open up to me."
• So a dyslexic guy walks into a bra..... Credits to my uncle, for making this his senior quote in highschool. Not sure if he thought of it or not.
• Just thought of the best senior quote " "
  -Taylor Swift
• My Senior Quote "Don't be sad because it's over, be happy because it happened."
  -Adolf h**...

Bible Quote Jokes

Here is a list of funny bible quote jokes and even better bible quote puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have summoned you by name; you are mine. When you over hear a conversation and aren't sure if they're reading from the Bible or quoting Thanos.
• Little known quotes from the Bible. Jesus Christ "So, you want me to be king of the Jews and cut the tip off my what ?" Lesser known Quote "But I don't like fish sandwiches".

Laughter Quote Jokes for Everyone for Fun and Frivolity

What funny jokes about quote you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean headline jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make quote pranks.