Following is our collection of funny Quit jokes. There are some quit quitter jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.
Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these quit quit drinking puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
I'm not gonna let them talk to me like that.
Unsurprisingly, he has beaten Rihanna to it.
I've quit hundreds of times.
Except for my lamp. It won't talk to me anymore.
Because she couldn't control her pupils.
The ringmaster said "Please, no you can't! We'll never be able to find another man of your caliber!"
In computing, what's the only way to generate a truly random string?
Put a Windows user in front of VI and tell him to quit.
"It will definitely feel longer. "
I refuse to be spoken to in that tone
When people asked him why, he answered: i'm smoking one for myself and one for my brother in jail.
One day he was smoking only one, so people gladly asked "is your brother out of jail?"
He answered: "no, I quit"
He had only one pupil.
You can explore quit resign reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean quit resignation dad jokes. There are also quit puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
He told me that I was fired
We have disconnected our home alarm system and quit the candy-ass neighborhood watch. We bought two Pakistani flags on eBay and raised them in the front yard, one at each corner, plus a black flag of ISIS in the center. Now, the local police, sheriff, FBI, CIA, NSA, Homeland Security, Secret Service and other agencies are all watching the house 24/7. I have never felt safer and we're saving $49.99 a month!
It didn't peso well.
Yeah, I gave 'em my too weak notice
He couldn't handle the boos.
The wife's insisting I quit my job, because she thinks it's cruel we've started testing our new products on rabbits.
She's got a point, I suppose...
I work in a hammer factory.
now I only drink for evil
I asked if I had to quit cold turkey.
So I was able to quit cold turkey
I will not be spoken to in that tone of voice.
That job was just soda-pressing
Turns out they're a lot harder to catch than cows.
I said maybe.
I was at a pool once, and the life guard yelled over to me, HEY KID! QUIT PEEING IN THE POOL!
I replied Oh come on man. Everyone pees in the pool!
Yes, but not from the high dive!
I had to quit cold turkey
I've done it over 15 times
I asked, *Why??*
He said, Because. I'm trying to complete your examination and you're making things really awkward right now.
He hasn't talked to me since the last time I dropped acid.
That's how I quit smoking.
That's how I quit smoking.
I just couldn't concentrate.
I told him, if it upsets you that much quit counting them
The job interviewer asked: "What's your biggest weakness?"
Me: "I don't know when to quit..."
Interviewer: "You're hired!"
Me: "I quit."
It was the end of the line for him.
So I studied and worked real hard to become an orcist. Then I quit.
I love being my own boss.
I looked at it and thought, This isn't for me.
But I got bored and quit because it was just one ting after another.
He asked him about it and his friend said: "one for me and one on my imprisoned brother's behalf. He told me to smoke for him too"
Years later, the man saw his friend smoking only one cigarette, he told him: "I'm guessing good news! Your brother finished his sentence?"
His friend said: "No, I quit smoking"
Now I drink for evil
I decided to smoke only after sex.
I looked at it and thought, This isn't for me.
For the first couple weeks, I didn't earn much money. Then, I decided to rearrange the meat and the snacks in my store. I started earning lots of money. I knew that I would succeed when the chips were down and the steaks were high.
One evening, after the honeymoon, he was organizing his golfing equipment. His wife was standing nearby watching him.
After a long period of silence she finally speaks: "Tim, I've been thinking, now that we're married maybe it's time you quit golfing. You spend so much time on the course. You could probably get a good price for your clubs."
Tim gets this horrified look on his face.
She says, "Darling, what's wrong?"
"For a minute there you were beginning to sound like my ex-wife."
"Ex-wife!" she screams, "I didn't know you were married before!"
"I wasn't," he replied.
I've handed in my too weak notice
Quit when he was in his Prime.
The guy sitting opposite me, kept making faces.
I just handed in my too weak notice.
I told him if it upsets you so much, quit counting them.
I gave them my too weak notice yesterday.
And I thought I was the only one who couldn't put together a Swedish cabinet.
He's no nearer understanding it than when we started, and it's giving me a serious headache.
But if I quit now I'll have had all this for nothing!
he doesn't seem to be understanding anything i am saying and honestly, i feel like giving up.
but if i quit now, i'd have spent all this time for nothing!
So I've just handed in my too weak notice..
It was just one ting after another
I kept falling in the sink.
A guy walks into a bar and orders a beer. "The horn quit working on my car," the guy tells the bartender. "I was going to take it to the shop, but this boy scout down the road said he fixed cars as a hobby and offered to do it. Hey, here he is already." The boy scout walks into the bar and hands the car keys back to the guy. "Beep repaired," the boy scout says.
He's a biologist now.
It was just one ting after another.
Me: You're being mean.
Her: How?
Me: By talking back to me.
Her: I have to talk back to you. That's how conversations work.
Me: I quit. You win.
The entire conversation was in jest.
Doc said I had to quit cold turkey.
It was just soda pressing.
She said to me, "I'm not stallin"
And I replied, "well, you might be right about that because you're certainly not Russian.'
I got nothing... no laughs, even after I thoroughly explained it to her. My daughter has no sense of humor.
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the quit retire jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working quit withdrawals piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.