Quit Job Jokes
137 quit job jokes and hilarious quit job puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about quit job that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Quit Job Short Jokes
Short quit job jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The quit job humour may include short quitting work jokes also.
- I've decided to quit my job as a personal trainer because the weights are too heavy. I just handed in my too weak notice.
- I quit my new job as a mailman when they handed me my first letter to deliver. I looked at it and thought, This isn't for me.
- I've decided to quit my job as a Personal Trainer, I'm always feeling drained, and just not physically up to it.. So I've just handed in my too weak notice..
- The job interviewer asked... The job interviewer asked: "What's your biggest weakness?"
Me: "I don't know when to quit..."
Interviewer: "You're hired!"
Me: "I quit." - I told my boss that I'm quitting my job to become a comedian. He said, "You can't be serious."
I said, "I know." - My friend is quitting his job at the erectile dysfunction clinic... He hasn't gotten a raise in years.
- I just quit my job, I couldn't work for my boss after what he said to me He told me that I was fired
- So the human cannonball decided to quit his job at the circus... The ringmaster said "Please, no you can't! We'll never be able to find another man of your caliber!"
- My friend is a male stripper. He hates his job and wants to quit, but the pay is too good. So he decided to stick it out for a little longer.
- I told a girl a joke. She said, "Don't quit your day job."
I said, "Thanks, I'm a comedian."
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Quit Job One Liners
Which quit job one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with quit job? I can suggest the ones about changing job and leaving job.
- I quit my job to start a cloning business and it's been great, I love being my own boss.
- I recently quit my job at the orange juice factory...... I just couldn't concentrate.
- Just quit my job at the helium factory. I will not be spoken to in that tone of voice.
- My friend just quit his job at BMW. He gave no indication he was leaving.
- Why did the cross eyed teacher quit her job? Because she couldn't control her pupils.
- Had to quit my job at the watch factory. The guy sitting opposite me, kept making faces.
- Why did I quit my job in Mexico? It didn't peso well.
- Quit my banking job this morning I lost interest
- I quit my job drilling ventilation holes in jet engines... ...it was just plane boring.
- Why did the programmer quit his job? Because he didn't get arrays.
- I quit my job working for Nike. Just couldn't do it anymore.
- Why did the doctor quit his job? He ran out of patients.
- What did one doughnut say to the other... ...you look a little glazed
- The dwarf wanted to quit his job and become a butcher... ...but the steaks were too high
- Why did the ChatGPT quit its job? It was tired of being a language model.
Quit Job Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.
What funny jokes about quit job you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean quiet quitting jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make quit job pranks.
Why did the Stock Broker quit his job to become a Baker?
He overheard some great advice. "BUY DOUGH, SELL PIE!"
....I'll see myself out.
I had to quit my job as a Microsoft delivery man
It got awkward telling people I was giving word to their mother.
Why did the soda can quit its job at the vending machine?
It was soda pressing.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
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A man urges his wife to try a new s**... position - The . Curious, she asks about what romantic and exotic position her husband wants to try. "Well honey" he answers, "it's quite simple, you give me a b**..., and I owe you one"
One of my employees came into my office today. He insisted he'd quit if he wasn't treated with more respect.
"Come on, we both know you'll never walk out of this job", I laughed.
"Just watch me then!" he yelled.
As he turned around in his wheelchair, I knew he misunderstood my point.
Why did the man quit his job at the bakery?
He didn't knead any more dough.
Job at a Cadbury's factory ..
>I had a job putting fudge bars in to boxes. I had to quit though because every time someone would walk past they would say,
>"Oh packing fudge are we?"
>Or
>"Hey up, he's packing fudge again."
>Since then I've applied for a job in a clothing factory lifting boxes of shirts.
>I'm hoping the name calling will stop now.
TBH. I don't get the joke and it's annoying me. Can someone explain the obvious wordplay I'm missing??
To follow up on the Java/C# joke...
Q: Why did the Java Developer quit his job?
A: Because he didn't get arrays.
I quit my job at the origami factory.
Too much paperwork!
I quit my job and poured years into it
Thanks to this recent Ebola scare, I can't ever release my online bowling game...
Had to quit my job as an underwear model
because the photographer kept telling me, "I'm just a cashier" and that I "need to leave Macy's."
Did you hear about the woman who had to quit her job as an air traffic controller to date a monk?
She got out of the flying plans and into the friar.
My girlfriend decided to quit her job at the yogurt company
The truth his, she never really liked the culture
Why did the tumblrina quit being a teacher?
It wasn't her job to educate people.
Why did the Native American quit his desk job at the Marriot?
He didn't like dealing with reservations.
Why do they sell shoes in pairs?
Because they're sole-mates.
(I made this joke up about a week ago and figured I'd tell it on non-peak hours so I don't get upvoted enough to quit my day job)...
Why did the man quit his job at the helium gas factory?
He didn't like being spoken to in that voice
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Frustrated p**....
There was this hard working p**... who had been working 18 hours a day for more than a decade.She had a quite a bit of money but money wasn't what she wanted anymore, she was sick of her job,her life ,EVERYTHING.One day she decided to end her miserable life and she lied down on a train track with her legs spread apart. The next day it was all over the news "Local Train Missing".
I recently quit my job as a scuba diving instructor
I couldn't handle the pressure.
I quit my job as CEO at the pc fan factory
They needed a cooler master
Today I quit my job at the silverware factory...
I told them they could go fork themselves.
Why did the hearing aid salesman quit his job for a life of piracy?
Because he only ever made a good Buccaneer
wife's insisting to quit job
The wife's insisting I quit my job, because she thinks it's cruel we've started testing our new products on rabbits.
She's got a point, I suppose...
I work in a hammer factory.
I don't think I will ever find a stable job...
Because quite honestly I'm very uncomfortable around horses
I quit my job as a coffee shop manager
The daily grind was just too much
I quit my button-pushing job today...
It was too depressing.
I recently quit my job at a wind farm...
It turns out i'm not a big fan
Why did the bacteriologist quit her job?
She hated being microbe-managed.
I had to quit my job as a pool cleaner...
It was too draining.
Why did power quit its job?
It didn't want to work over time.
I've decided I need to quit my job as a personal trainer because I'm not big enough or strong enough…
I've just handed in my too weak notice.
Why did the chef quit his job?
They cut his celery
My mom told me I wasn't a failure
I appreciated the compliment so much I quit my job and moved in with her... a mother's day gift!
Her opinion changed greatly.
I had a job counting chickens, but I quit.
It only paid a poultry sum.
A doorman quits his job.
He just couldn't handle it anymore.
Yet another job Interview joke
Interviewer: So what would you say is your biggest weakness?
Candidate: I never know when to quit.
Interviewer: Well that can always be turned to our advantage! Congratulations, you're hired.
Candidate: *I quit*
I took at job at Elon Musk's tunnelling company, I quit after two weeks.
It was a boring job.
I asked my dad for help with my physics homework exactly once.
I told him I didn't quite understand the concept of "W = fd"
He told me to get a job.
Why did the submarine quit its job?
It was under too much pressure.
I quit my job at the pillow case factory..
Turns out it was a sham business.
I quit my job at the keyboard factory.
I didn't have enough control and wanted to look for an alt.
What did the chicken do to quit its job at McDonalds?
Chicken tendered its resignation
I used to install on demand water heaters, but I quit.
It was a tankless job.
Did you hear about the woman who quit her job as Trump's communications director?
Yes, but I thought hope left the White House ages ago.
I used to have a job naming medicines, but I quit after a few days.
I got sick of smacking my head against a computer keyboard.
Why did the man quit his job at the organic parsley farm?
They kept garnishing his paycheck.
I just quit my job sweeping up in a glitter factory
It was pretty rubbish.
My husband was quite distraught and incoherent after losing his job at the cologne factory.
I don't know how to reply; he just isn't making scents anymore.
Why did the taxi driver quit his job?
Because he was tired of people talking behind his back.
Why did the Christian convert quit his job at the sewer company?
Because entering manholes was no longer his thing.
I had to quit my job as a butcher.
I backed into the meat grinder and got behind in my work.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I quit my first job as a bartender in a s**... club
Because I hated working hard
I started a new job as a miner last week.
I had to quit because whenever I put my mining hat on I felt light-headed.
I was pretty offended when I auditioned for American idol and was told by the critics don't quit your day job
But I guess the joke was on them - I'm unemployed.
I quit my stable job yesterday coz..
I'm allergic to horses
Why did the sales representative quit their job?
Chronic depression
I'm tired of people stomping all over my hard work, trampling on it without even noticing.
Maybe I should quit my job at the doormat factory...
I had to quit my job at the Tesla factory today
I was allergic to Elon's Musk.
Why did Jack quit his job at airport security?
Because no one ever said hi to him.
Did you hear about the guy that quit his job at a quilt filling factory?
He said he was fed up of feeling down...
I quit my job as a paperboy
So if you think I've got news for you, I've got news for you.
"Hey buddy! Don't quit your day job!"
-Me, to someone who's doing real great at their day job
My ex-girlfriend's father, a 6'4" retired marine, angrily banged on my door last week.
I opened it and he said, "My daughter came back home crying and penniless because of you!"
"Sir?" I asked.
"When you told me she was old enough to move out of our house, I was skeptical..."
"Yes, sir"
"But you talked to me man to man, looked me in the eye and told me you would take care of her!"
"Yes, sir"
"And you promised me that if she moved in with you and took care of the house she could quit her job and you would cover her weekly income!"
"Yes sir, but I believe this is simple misunderstanding. When I said that, it was two words, not one."
So my friend Michael had to quit his job as a magician...
Turns out *audiences hate him for this one simple trick*