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Quit Job Jokes

137 quit job jokes and hilarious quit job puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about quit job that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Popular Quit Job Short Jokes

Short quit job jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The quit job humour may include short quitting job jokes also.

  1. I've decided to quit my job as a personal trainer because the weights are too heavy. I just handed in my too weak notice.
  2. I'm kinda scrawny, so I had to quit my job as a personal trainer Yeah, I gave 'em my too weak notice
  3. I quit my new job as a mailman when they handed me my first letter to deliver. I looked at it and thought, This isn't for me.
  4. I've decided to quit my job as a Personal Trainer, I'm always feeling drained, and just not physically up to it.. So I've just handed in my too weak notice..
  5. I just quit my job at the gym because I wasn't big or strong enough I've handed in my too weak notice
  6. The job interviewer asked... The job interviewer asked: "What's your biggest weakness?"
    Me: "I don't know when to quit..."
    Interviewer: "You're hired!"
    Me: "I quit."
  7. Recently, i decided to quit my job at the construction place because i couldn't deal with the heavy lifting. I gave them my too weak notice yesterday.
  8. I told my boss that I'm quitting my job to become a comedian. He said, "You can't be serious."
    I said, "I know."
  9. I quit my job as a postman the first day right after they handed me my first letter to deliver. I looked at it and thought, This isn't for me.
  10. My friend is quitting his job at the erectile dysfunction clinic... He hasn't gotten a raise in years.

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Quit Job One Liners

Which quit job one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with quit job? I can suggest the ones about quitting work and quits.

  1. I quit my job to start a cloning business and it's been great, I love being my own boss.
  2. I recently quit my job at the orange juice factory...... I just couldn't concentrate.
  3. Just quit my job at the helium factory. I will not be spoken to in that tone of voice.
  4. My friend just quit his job at BMW. He gave no indication he was leaving.
  5. Why did the cross eyed teacher quit her job? Because she couldn't control her pupils.
  6. I had a job as a can crusher but I had to quit That job was just soda-pressing
  7. Had to quit my job at the watch factory. The guy sitting opposite me, kept making faces.
  8. Why did I quit my job in Mexico? It didn't peso well.
  9. Quit my job at the helium factory I'm not gonna let them talk to me like that.
  10. I quit my job at the helium gas factory I didn't like being spoken to in that tone.
  11. Quit my job at the helium factory today I refuse to be spoken to in that tone
  12. Quit my banking job this morning I lost interest
  13. I quit my job drilling ventilation holes in jet engines... ...it was just plane boring.
  14. Why did the programmer quit his job? Because he didn't get arrays.
  15. I quit my job working for Nike. Just couldn't do it anymore.

Make fun with this list of one liners, jokes and riddles. Each joke is crafted with thought and creativity, delivering punchlines that are unexpected and witty. The humor about quit job can easily lighten the mood and bring smiles to people's faces. This compilation of quit job puns is not just entertaining but also a testament to the art of joke-telling. The jokes in this list are designed to display different humor styles, ensuring that every reader at any age finds something entertaining. Constantly updated, they offer a source of fun that ensures one is always smiling !

Quit Job Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.

What funny jokes about quit job you can tell and make people laugh? One example I can give are clean changing job jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help make quit job prank.

I had to quit my job as a Microsoft delivery man

It got awkward telling people I was giving word to their mother.

Why did the soda can quit its job at the vending machine?

It was soda pressing.

68

A man urges his wife to try a new s**... position - The . Curious, she asks about what romantic and exotic position her husband wants to try. "Well honey" he answers, "it's quite simple, you give me a b**..., and I owe you one"

A guy walks in to a bar

he orders 6 shots of tequila
bartender says "6 shots? thats quite a bit"
guy says "im celebrating my first b**..."
bartender says "congratulations, let me get you another one on the house"
guy says "thats okay, if 6 dont take the taste out of my mouth, nothing will

Why did the man quit his job at the bakery?

He didn't knead any more dough.

To follow up on the Java/C# joke...

Q: Why did the Java Developer quit his job?
A: Because he didn't get arrays.

I quit my job at the origami factory.

Too much paperwork!

A girl quit her job at the doughnut factory...

She was fed up with the hole business.

Had to quit my job as an underwear model

because the photographer kept telling me, "I'm just a cashier" and that I "need to leave Macy's."

So the human cannonball decided to quit his job at the circus...

The ringmaster said "Please, no you can't! We'll never be able to find another man of your caliber!"

Sadly, I had to quit my job as a taxi driver...

I just couldn't stand everyone talking behind my back.

I just quit my job, I couldn't work for my boss after what he said to me

He told me that I was fired

Why do they sell shoes in pairs?

Because they're sole-mates.
(I made this joke up about a week ago and figured I'd tell it on non-peak hours so I don't get upvoted enough to quit my day job)...

I quit my job at the helium factory today

I won't stand to be spoke to in that tone of voice

Why did the CS major quit his job?

He didn't get arrays.

Frustrated p**....

There was this hard working p**... who had been working 18 hours a day for more than a decade.She had a quite a bit of money but money wasn't what she wanted anymore, she was sick of her job,her life ,EVERYTHING.One day she decided to end her miserable life and she lied down on a train track with her legs spread apart. The next day it was all over the news "Local Train Missing".

I recently quit my job as a scuba diving instructor

I couldn't handle the pressure.

Why did the doctor quit his job?

He ran out of patients.

i'm going to quit my job and open a donut shop that also sells w**...

i'll call it 'glazed and confused'.

wife's insisting to quit job

The wife's insisting I quit my job, because she thinks it's cruel we've started testing our new products on rabbits.
She's got a point, I suppose...
I work in a hammer factory.

I don't think I will ever find a stable job...

Because quite honestly I'm very uncomfortable around horses

I told a girl a joke.

She said, "Don't quit your day job."
I said, "Thanks, I'm a comedian."

I quit my job as a coffee shop manager

The daily grind was just too much

I recently quit my job at a wind farm...

It turns out i'm not a big fan

I've decided I need to quit my job as a personal trainer because I'm not big enough or strong enough…

I've just handed in my too weak notice.

Why did the banker quit his job?

He lost interest.

I had to quit my job at the Orange Juice factory, it was too distracting there.

I just couldn't concentrate.

A doorman quits his job.

He just couldn't handle it anymore.

Yet another job Interview joke

Interviewer: So what would you say is your biggest weakness?
Candidate: I never know when to quit.
Interviewer: Well that can always be turned to our advantage! Congratulations, you're hired.
Candidate: *I quit*

I took at job at Elon Musk's tunnelling company, I quit after two weeks.

It was a boring job.

Why did the submarine quit its job?

It was under too much pressure.

At a job interview:

The HR manager: What would you say is your biggest weakness?
Applicant: I never know when to quit.
Manager: That seems ok, you're hired.
Applicant: I quit!

I used to install on demand water heaters, but I quit.

It was a tankless job.

Why did the man quit his job at the organic parsley farm?

They kept garnishing his paycheck.

I just quit my job sweeping up in a glitter factory

It was pretty rubbish.

Why did the taxi driver quit his job?

Because he was tired of people talking behind his back.

Why did the Christian convert quit his job at the sewer company?

Because entering manholes was no longer his thing.

I quit my job at the radioactive waste treatment plant.

It had a toxic work environment.

I quit my first job as a bartender in a s**... club

Because I hated working hard

I started a new job as a miner last week.

I had to quit because whenever I put my mining hat on I felt light-headed.

My friend is a male stripper. He hates his job and wants to quit, but the pay is too good.

So he decided to stick it out for a little longer.

I was on a flight a few weeks ago, and our descent was very turbulent, followed by a hard landing that was quite jarring.

Once on the ground, our flight attendant announced, "Well, folks, that wasn't my fault, and it wasn't the captain's fault, but it was definitely the as-phalt."
The passenger reactions were a mix of chuckles and groans.
Shoutout to our Southwest Airlines flight crew from BUR-LAS flight 4606, good job keeping things safe!

Did you hear about the guy that quit his job at a quilt filling factory?

He said he was fed up of feeling down...

I quit my job as a paperboy

So if you think I've got news for you, I've got news for you.

"Hey buddy! Don't quit your day job!"

-Me, to someone who's doing real great at their day job

My ex-girlfriend's father, a 6'4" retired marine, angrily banged on my door last week.

I opened it and he said, "My daughter came back home crying and penniless because of you!"
"Sir?" I asked.
"When you told me she was old enough to move out of our house, I was skeptical..."
"Yes, sir"
"But you talked to me man to man, looked me in the eye and told me you would take care of her!"
"Yes, sir"
"And you promised me that if she moved in with you and took care of the house she could quit her job and you would cover her weekly income!"
"Yes sir, but I believe this is simple misunderstanding. When I said that, it was two words, not one."

So my friend Michael had to quit his job as a magician...

Turns out *audiences hate him for this one simple trick*

Why did the can crusher quit his job?

Because it was soda pressing

I had a job crushing cans, but I quit.

It was soda-pressing

If I had a nickel for every time someone called me a racist...

I could quit my job at the NYPD

I've decided to quit my job as a personal trainer as I'm not big enough or strong enough.

I've handed in my Two Weak Notice.

I had to quit my job at the Elmer's Glue factory...

I was getting too attached to my coworkers... I couldn't separate myself from my work.

I recently quit my job as a butler at a stately home.

I refuse to be ordered around in that manor.

I had to quit my job at the helium factory.

I couldn't stand being spoken to in that tone.

I quit my job as a personal trainer because I'm not big or strong enough.

Today, I put in my too-weak notice.

I quit my job at the helium factory,

I couldn't let them speak to me in that tone.

I had enough and finally quit my job at the helium plant today.

I refuse to be spoken to in that tone of voice.

I had a job canning drinks at a factory but have recently quit

It was soda pressing

Why did the man quit his job at the donut factory?

He was fed up with the hole business!

Me: I had to quit my construction job because I wasn't strong enough for the work.

Friend: Did you give them your too weak notice?

I quit my job as an animator

without making a scene.

I quit my job at the furniture shop.

It didn't sit right with me.

I successfully quit my job as an animator without making a scene, so I had a party to celebrate...

and everybody brought gifs.

Lil Johnny's Sheep

Lil Johnny is walking a sheep through town. The Mayor stops and asks Lil Johnny what he is doing.
"Silly Billy has a boy sheep and I'm taking our girl sheep to his ranch to get her pregnant," replies Johnny.
The mayor thinks this is a bad idea and tells Lil Johnny that this is a job his father would be better off doing.
"Nah," Lil Johnny says, "I've seen dad trying a quite a few times and our sheep hasn't got pregnant yet."

Jokes are a form of humor that often involves clever wordplay, puns or unexpected twists in a story. These are usually short narratives or anecdotes crafted with the intent of amusing its audience by ending in an unexpected or humorous punchline. Jokes are a universal form of entertainment that people of all ages like adults, teens, kids and toddlers can enjoy. JokoJokes' FAQ section has answers to questions you may have!

The impact of these quit job jokes can be both social and psychological. They can help to ease tensions, create bonds between people, and even improve overall mental health. The success of a joke often relies on the delivery, timing, and audience. Jokes can be used in various settings, from social gatherings to professional presentations, and are often employed to lighten the mood or enhance a story.