quiet smoke Jokes

funny pick up lines and hilarious quiet smoke puns

Christmas joke (NSFW)

A 17 year old male walks into a drug store. He says "I've been invited to Christmas dinner at my new girlfriend's house. Afterwards I hope there is a chance I get lucky, you know what I mean"

Clerk: "How about condoms then? They could come in handy. Here's a pack." The young man after paying walks to the door, stops, smiles, comes back: "you know what, the mom is also smoking hot, I think I'll take another pack, just in case I get extra lucky."

Christmas eve comes around, the boy sits at the dinner table and doesn't say a word. After a while his girlfriend says: "if I had known you were so quiet, I wouldn't have invited you." the young man replies "if you had told me your dad works at a drug store, I wouldn't have come."

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The Devil went to a small church...

The congregation at a die hard church was in full swing when with a stench of brimstone and puff of smoke the devil appeared! All them members ran from the church except one little old man in the first row who sat looking calmly at him.
The devil loomed over the old man and growled " Do you realize who I am?"
" Sure do." the little old man replied.
" Do you know i can kill you with a thought?"
" Sure do."
" Do you realize i can mangle your body with a touch?"
" Sure do."
" Do you realize I can carry you off to Hell for eternity?"
" Sure do."
" Then why aren't you scared of me?" The Devil asked quietly.
" Been married to your sister for 50yrs."

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A man travelling through Arizona stops at a small town and goes into a bar

He stands at the end of the bar and lights up a cigar. As he sips his drink, he stands there quietly blowing smoke rings.

After he's blown nine or ten smoke rings, an angry Indian comes up to him and says, "Listen buddy, if you don't stop calling me names, I'll smash your face in!"

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A man walks into a bar and sees a sign up behind the liquor display that says-

"Cheeseburger - $2
Chicken Sandwich - $3
Hand job - $10"

The man immediately looks around, and sees a smoking hot blonde bartender serving some drinks to a group of guys across the way. As she returns behind the bar the man leans over and quietly asks " Um excuse me, are you the one who gives the hand jobs?"

"Yes, yes I am" she said

The man quickly points to the kitchen and says "Go wash your hands I want a cheeseburger"

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A man dies and goes to hell

Satan says to him "Hell's not really what the people on Earth say it is, mostly God just wants quiet peaceful types in Heaven and everyone else gets to come to Hell to enjoy themself. Do you like drinking?"

The man says "Yeah, I love to drink."

Satan says "Then you'll love Mondays, we just all sit around and get piss drunk. Are you a bigot?"

The man says "Yeah, I hate niggers"

Satan says "Then you'll love Tuesdays, we just sit around and make racist jokes all the fucking time. Do you gamble?"

The man says "I love to gamble."

Satan says "Then you'll love Wednesdays, we just gamble and game all day long. Do you like to fight?"

The man says "I like fighting, I can hold my own in a brawl."

Satan says "Then you'll love Thursdays, we just beat the shit out of each other all day long. Are you a glutton?"

The man says "Yeah, I'll eat anything you serve me."

Satan says "Then you'll love Fridays, we just pig out on anything and everything in sight. Do you smoke?"

The man says "I love smoking."

Satan says "Then you'll love Saturdays. We smoke Tobacco, cigarettes, cigars, hookah, pot, crack, you name it. Are you gay?"

The man says "Um, no, not at all really."

Satan says "Then you're going to hate Sundays."

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In Vermont an old man is sitting in his rocking chair on his porch, quietly smoking a pipe.

A tourist who is staying at a nearby B&B passes by every day for a week, and whenever he passes, the man is just sitting there in his rocking chair quietly smoking his pipe.

One day the tourist cannot refrain from asking the old man: "Say, have you been sitting here all your life, doing nothing but smoking your pipe?"

Says the old man: "Not yet!"

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When I first met my wife I asked her if she smokes after sex

She got quiet for a second then said," I don't know, I've never checked ".

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a brunette, ad red head, and a blonde escape from prison

The three ladies hatch a plot to escape from prison by hiding in a laundry truck. As soon as the truck stops, they jump out and make a run for it.
Being in the middle of nowhere they head for a plume of smoke that seems to be coming from a chimney.
Upon arriving at a farm, they hear sirens and dogs barking not far behind them.

In a panic, the ladies run into a barn and close the door.
Looking for a place to hide, they find three burlap sacks on the ground, and each one climbs inside a sack.

Hiding quietly, they hear the barn door open and the prison warden followed by three guards walk in.
the warden walks up to a sack and kicks it. the brunette inside yelps, "ruff, ruff, ruff!"
"eh, just some puppies" says the warden.

the warden walks up to the sack where the redhead is hiding, kicks it, and hears "meow, meow", and says "eh, just some kittens".

So he walks up to the sack where the blond is hiding, kicks it and hears "potatoes, potatoes!"

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A group of 40 year old buddies discuss where they should meet for dinner.


Finally it is agreed upon that they should meet at the Gausthof zum Lowen restaurant because the waitress's there have low cut blouses and nice breasts.
10 years later, at 50 years of age, the group meets again and once again they discuss where they should meet.
Finally it is agreed that they should meet at the Gausthof zum Lowen because the food there is very good and the wine selection is good also.
10 years later at 60 years of age, the group meets again and once again they discuss where they should meet.
Finally it is agreed that they should meet at the Gausthof zum Lowen because they can eat there in peace and quiet and the restaurant is smoke free.
10 years later, at 70 years of age, the group meets again and once again they discuss where they should meet.
Finally it is agreed that they should meet at the Gausthof zum Lowen because the restaurant is wheel chair accessible and they even have an elevator.
10 years later, at 80 years of age, the group meets again and once again they discuss where they should meet.
Finally it is agreed that they should meet at the Gausthof zum Lowen because that would be a great idea because they have never been there before.

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What are the most funny Quiet Smoke jokes of all time ?

Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking with someone about Quiet Smoke? Well, here are the best Quiet Smoke dad jokes to laugh out loud. Crazy funny puns and Quiet Smoke pick up lines to share with friends.

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