The Best 15 Quidditch Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Quidditch jokes. There are some quidditch snitch jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these quidditch soccer puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Quidditch Jokes and Puns

Why didn't Harry Potter want to date Hermione?

Because he likes to Hit it and Quidditch

How is prison like quidditch?

The game ends when they catch the snitch

Why don't they let gansters play Quidditch?

Cause gangsters always catch the snitch!

Quidditch joke, Why don't they let gansters play Quidditch?

So I was wondering whether any of my friends could possibly teach me quidditch...

...and then I thought, "wait a minute, I know one. Oliver would".

What do you call it when Harry Potter has a one night stand?

Hit it and quidditch

Have you seen the new brooms at Quality Quidditch Supplies?

They're flying off the shelves!

I'm repairing my Quidditch equipment with some glue and a sewing kit. Quaffles I can usually fix by gluing them,

but Snitches get stitches

Quidditch joke, I'm repairing my Quidditch equipment with some glue and a sewing kit. Quaffles I can usually fix by

What is Harry Potter's philosophy on relationships...

Hit it and quidditch.


Scratching yourself with a pound coin.

What does Harry Potter play with when he's bored?

A quidditch spinner.

(Told to me by a 7 year old)

What do they call Gold Bond at Hogwarts?


You can explore quidditch expecto reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean quidditch hogwarts dad jokes. There are also quidditch puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.

How does a wizard have casual sex?

They hit it and quidditch

What do wizards use to stop annoying itches?


Harry Potter wouldn't leave me alone.

I told him to Quidditch.

I'll see myself out.

Why don't gangsters play quidditch?

They always just kill the snitch.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the quidditch voldemort jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working quidditch rowling piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes