The Best 28 Quickie Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Quickie jokes. There are some quickie quiche jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these quickie momentary puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Quickie Jokes and Puns

A Quickie!

A man goes into a restaurant and is seated. All the waitresses are gorgeous.

A particularly voluptuous waitress wearing a very short skirt and legs that won't quit came to his table and asked if he was ready to order, "What would you like, sir?"

He looks at the menu and then scans her beautiful frame top to bottom, then answers, "A quickie."

The waitress turns and walks away in disgust. After she regains her composure she returns and asks again, "What would you like, sir?"

Again the man thoroughly checks her out and again answers, "A quickie, please."

This time her anger takes over, she reaches over and slaps him across the face with a resounding "SMACK!" and storms away.

A man sitting at the next table leans over and whispers, "Um, I think it's pronounced 'Quiche'."

What's a Yankee?

It's like a quickie except you do it yourself.

A man in a restaurant says to the waitress...

..."Hi can I have a quickie?"
The waitress gives him a dirty look and walks off. She later approaches the table and the man asks: "Can I please have a quickie?" The waitress responds: "Sir, If you ask me that one more time, I'm going to have to call my manager over." and walks off again.
The man looks completely bemused, so the lady at the table next to his turns and says: "I think it's pronounced 'kee-sh'."

Quickie joke, A man in a restaurant says to the waitress...

I asked the waitress if she wanted a good tip and a quickie.

She said: Just the tip.

It's 2004 and George W Bush is on the campaign trail...

He stops at a small-town midwest diner for breakfast. After taking a seat he is greeted by a pretty young waitress.

"Mr president, what an honor it is to be serving you. So what will you be having this morning?"

Dubya looks up from his menu, smiles, and says "How about a quickie?"

The waitress is appalled. "Mr president! I voted for you because I thought you stood for morals! And family values! I guess you're no better than Clinton."

After she storms off, one of the president's advisors leans over and says "Hey, uh, George, it's pronounced *keesh*."


Wife: Do you fancy coming home at lunchtime for a quickie.

Me: It's pronounced Quiche.

A guy sits down at a restaurant and asks the waitress for a quickie...

The waitress is visibly displeased... The woman next to the guy replies that "It's pronounced 'quiche' [keesh]".

Quickie joke, A guy sits down at a restaurant and asks the waitress for a quickie...

My girlfriend asked me if I fancied a quickie earlier..

"Its pronounced 'quiche'", I told her.

My wife called me at work today.

"Honey, do you want to come home at lunch for a quickie?"

"Sarah, it's pronounced Quiche."

So my wife and I had some time left before we went out for dinner

She asks me: "Do you want to have sex before we go?", I answered: "Sure, do you want a quickie or the full two minutes?"

Bill Clinton and Al Gore go out to lunch

Bill Clinton and Al Gore go out to lunch, The waitress comes up to take their order, Bill Clinton says "I'll take the quickie darlin". The waitress gets very upset over this and says "I've been a big supporter of you and voted for and this is the thanks I get" and storms off. Al Gore turns to Bill and says "I think it's pronounced quiche"

You can explore quickie instant reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean quickie hurry dad jokes. There are also quickie puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


A priest was confronted by a prostitute.

"Do want a quickie for ten bucks?"

Not knowing what it was, he said no. When he got back to the monastery, his curiosity got the better of him. So he asked a nun, "what's a quickie?"

The nun replied "Ten bucks same as in town."

A guy went to a restaurant and asked the waitress for a quickie

She replied, "it's pronounced quiche"

*On phone* Wife: Fancy coming home for a quickie?

Husband: It's pronounced "quiche"

My wife told me to hurry home for a quickie.

Turns out she has trouble pronouncing the word quiche.

Bill Clinton and Al Gore decide to go eat out at a diner

After giving them some time, the waitress comes and asks if they are ready to order.

Bill goes, "Yes, I'd like to have a quickie please."

"A quickie?!" the waitress replies with disgust. "I'll come back later when you are ready to make an order from the menu."

Al Gore leans over to Clinton and says, "Sir, it is pronounced 'Quiche'..."

Quickie joke, Bill Clinton and Al Gore decide to go eat out at a diner

I don't call it a quickie...

I call it secs

I asked my wife if she wanted to do a quickie

She asked "As opposed to what?"

An attractive waitress approaches a table of two men and asks them what they would like to order.

How about a quickie? asks the one man. She immediately throws his water in his face and storms off to call the manager.

His friend leans across the table and says, Dude, it's pronounced quiche .


I asked the waitress for a quickie and she slapped me.

The old woman next to me said, "It's pronounced 'quiche', dear."

When I told the waitress I'd have a quiche, she slapped me...

Apparently it's pronounced "keesh" and not "quickie"

What do you call two marines having a quickie?

A flashbang

What is a yankee?

It's a quickie but by yourself.

What's a Yankee?

The same as a quickie, only you do it yourself.

A wife asks her husband would he like to come home at lunchtime.

Would you like a quickie?

Husband: It's pronounced Quiche, and yes I would.

A guy is sitting a table in a restaurant when the waitress comes over.....

Hello sir, what would you like to order?

I'll have a quickie please sweetheart...

Okay sir i'll ask again, what would you like to order?

I really want a quickie, please, you know? Tart...

With that the waitress slaps the guy and storms off.

One of the other customers leans over and says 'excuse me mate, it's pronounced 'Quiche'

What is the definition of a Yankee?

Same as a quickie but you do it yourself.

What's the definition of a Yankee?

It's like a quickie, but you do it to yourself.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the quickie cabby jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working quickie waitress piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes