Quicker Jokes
44 quicker jokes and hilarious quicker puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about quicker that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Want to get your laughs faster? Learn to tell quicker jokes! These jokes go beyond being "sooner than expected" - they're faster than scooters! Get ready to upgrade your repertoire.
Funniest Quicker Short Jokes
Short quicker jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The quicker humour may include short faster speed jokes also.
- Studies have shown that half of the people in this country are slowly going crazy. The rest of us are doing it quicker.
- Paris Hilton recently did a signing for her new autobiography that lasted almost 4 hours. To be fair she was a bit quicker with the second book.
- My wife said she wanted a candlelit dinner.
But I'm pretty sure it would cook quicker in the oven. - Relationships are like smartphones..... You look at your iPhone 7 and think, it used to be a lot quicker to turn this thing on.
- Advice for dealing with all the Aaron Hernandez memes.... ...hang in there, it'll die quicker than you think.
- It's funny how 8 cups of water a day seems impossible... but 8 pints and 4 shots in 3 hours goes down quicker than a chubby kid on a see-saw!
- Teacher to Student...? Conjugate the verb "to walk" in simple present.
The student: I walk. You walk ....
The teacher intruptes him: Quicker please.
The student: I run. You run ... - Someone just honked their horn to get me out of my parking space quicker so now we will both be here until we're dead.
- Beethoven found that having diarrhoea always helped him compose quicker By midday, he was already on his third movement.
- I love my motorcycle - it's great for getting to the front of queues quicker. It does always terrify the other people in the post office though.
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Quicker One Liners
Which quicker one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with quicker? I can suggest the ones about quickly and quick and easy.
- The David Cameron diet: You'll never lose your pounds quicker.
- Dele Alli joke This virus gunna have to be quicker than that to catch me.
- What spoils quicker than unrefridgerated meat? The Walking Dead's facebook page.
- An apple will wake you up quicker than a strong cup of coffee If it's thrown hard enough.
- What is a quicker way to transfer money than electronic banking? Marriage
- The kitchen staff really helps to make the wife cook meals quicker...
- I found my girlfriend on Tinder. She should have closed the app quicker.
- My friend has a thing for sinking ships They go down quicker.
- My dog had to be neutered So that when we call him, he comes quicker...
- My name is Mr. Swiffer I'm the swiffer, quicker, pick her upper
- Money can't buy happiness, but it can help you look for it quicker, in a convertible.
- You ever notice how.... the colder a shower, the quicker you start dancing.
- Time goes by quicker when you have fun But one does not simply have fun
- What do death and my priest have in common? I wish both of them would come quicker.
Quicker Than Jokes
Here is a list of funny quicker than jokes and even better quicker than puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Why is psychoanalysis a lot quicker for men than for women? When it's time to go back to his childhood, he's already there.
Quirky and Hilarious Quicker Jokes to Let the Chuckles Begin.
What funny jokes about quicker you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean quick easy jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make quicker pranks.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Sensei, I've been training for years, and I'm not getting any stronger. What's going on?
Have you seen the flock of cranes fly over the old mountain at sunrise?
Yes.
Have you seen the great lightning storms crack the sky before making way for a rainbow?
Yes.
Have you seen the fabled tiger as it hunts prey in the forest, quicker than the eye can see?
Yes, Sensei.
That's the problem. You keep watching s**... s**... instead of practicing!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Computer diagnosis
One day, Pete complained to his friend, "My elbow really hurts. I guess I should see a doctor."
His friend said, "Don't do that. There's a computer at the drug store that can diagnose anything quicker and cheaper than a doctor.
Simply put in a sample of your u**..., and the computer will diagnose your problem and tell you what you can do about and it will only cost you $10.00."
Pete figured he had nothing to lose, so he filled a jar with a u**... sample and went to the drug store. Finding the computer, he poured in the sample and deposited the $10.00.
The computer started making some noise and various lights started flashing. After a brief pause, out popped a small slip of paper which read:
1. You have tennis elbow.
2. Soak your arm in warm water, avoid heavy labor.
3. It will be better in two weeks.......
That evening while thinking how amazing this new technology was and how it would change medical science forever, he began to wonder if this computer could be fooled.
He decided to give it a try. He mixed together some tap water, a stool sample from his dog, and u**... samples from his wife and daughter. To top it off, he m**... into the concoction.
He went back to the drug store, located the computer, poured in the sample and deposited the $10.00. The machine again made the usual noises, flashed its alights, and printed out the following analysis:
1. Your tap water is too hard.
2. Get a water softener.
3. Your dog has ringworm.
4. Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo.
5. Your daughter is using c**....
6. Put her in a rehabilitation clinic.
7. Your wife is pregnant ....... twin girls. They aren't yours. Get a lawyer.
8. And if you don't stop m**..., your elbow will never get better.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why is it quicker to build a snowman than a snowwoman?
It takes too long to hollow out her head.
(I got this one from my uncle)
I was at a hospital, talking to some patients.
I tried to lighten the mood with a coronavirus joke. Barely anyone reacted at first, but eventually everyone got it. However, the Chinese guy got it right off the bat. Some people have called my joke tasteless, however. It really killed the mood. But I bet the British variation of this joke will spread much quicker!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Human thought
A teacher is teaching the kids that there is nothing quicker than a human thought. All of a sudden, one of the kids gets up and says that she is wrong, so the teacher asks, "What could be quicker, then?"
The kid then says, "Well, last night I overheard my parents having s**... as I was passing by the bedroom. After a short while I heard my dad say, 'Shit, I came quicker than I thought.'"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My doctor told me to stop drinking heavy or else I'll die soon
He's right! I'll die quicker if I drink lighter fluid!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Patience is a bit like a toilet-roll
the bigger the a**... you're dealing with, the quicker it runs out.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Boys cutting through the yard
A group of boys are running back home after dark and decided to cut through the neighborhood's back yards to get home quicker. As the boys run along, one of them stops at a window and yells to the others.
"Guys, come here!"
The other boys run to their friend to see he is staring at a lady getting undressed through the window.
After a few moments of watching, one boy quickly runs off. His friends run after him and once they catch up to him, they find him crying.
"What's wrong?" Asks one of his friends.
The boy replies through tears, "My mom said if I ever looked at a n**... girl I would turn to stone.... And I felt something get hard!"
A young girl is walking home from school one day when a car pulls up along side her.
The window goes down and the driver says to her
"Hey sweetie, I'll gove you a dollar if you get in the car with me..."
The girl doesn't say anything, she just walks a little faster.
The driver says
"Alright, I'll give you ten dollars if you get in the car with me..."
Again, the girl says nothing, she just walkes a bit quicker still.
The driver then says
"I'll give you one hundred dollars if you get in the car with me..."
At this the girl stops, turns to the driver and shouts
"YOU BOUGHT THE FORD DAD, YOU RIDE IN IT!!!"
