Quick Simple Jokes

11 quick simple jokes and hilarious quick simple puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about quick simple that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Funniest Quick Simple Short Jokes

Short quick simple jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The quick simple humour may include short quick easy jokes also.

  1. A quick way to figure out a Jewish person's level of devotion to their faith is made simple by using the PH scale. Basic or Hasidic

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Cheerful Quick Simple Jokes for Unforgettable Laughter with Friends!

What funny jokes about quick simple you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean quick good jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make quick simple pranks.

Anyone know a good joke about cigarettes and ethics?

I'm doing a presentation about the subject and I would love to throw in some humor, but I can't think of anything that is quick and simple. Any jokes you can loan me? =P
Thanks for reading/posting.

A journalist tries to find out how different professions deals with basic math.

So he asks them a simple question: "How much is 1+1?"
The mechanical engineer quickly opens a handbook and say, the handbook says 2, let's make it 3 just in case.
The physicist starts scribbling and after 5 minutes say it's between 1.95 and 2.05 within 3 sigma confidence level.
The mathematician start writing formulas and within half an hour he announces he can prove that there is a solution.
The lawyer takes the journalist to the side and whispers, how much do you want it to be?

Keep it simple s**...

Drill sgt. looks at the recruits at basic and says, I'm going to give you four important words in the Army and you need to make a sentence as quick as possible. The four words are; defense, defeat, deduct, and detail. Pri'ate Johnson, go! Johnson just stares at the drill blankly. Boom, you're dead Johnson. Smith, your turn! Smith stammers, Our defense budg-dg-dg... You're dead too! Thibodeaox; defense, defeat, deduct, and detail, go! Without hesitation Thibodeaux says, Drill S'arnt, defeat of deduct went over defense before detail!

The Stasi tells Honecker there's a West German spy in his Central Committee.

So Honecker takes his favourite Stasi man along to the next meeting. The concierge (an old red) sees Honecker and the Stasi agent go in and, just one minute later, the Stasi man exiting , with a Central Committee member hand-cuffed to him.
"Comrade, I'm so impressed with your speed and efficiency. How did you discover this enemy agent so quickly?" asked the concierge
"It's simple , Comrade. Our dear Comrade Honecker began his speech and I remembered our Lenin's dictum: 'The Class Enemy never sleeps!' "

Memory Test

Three elderly men are at the doctor's office for a memory test. The doctor asks the first man, "What is three times three?"
The man thought for a moment and answered, "274."
The doctor rolls his eyes and looks up at the ceiling, and says to the second man, "It's your turn. What is three times three?"
"Tuesday," replies the second man.
The doctor shakes his head sadly, then asks the third man, "Okay, your turn. What's three times three?"
The third man quickly answers, "Nine."
"That's great!" says the doctor. "How did you get that?"
"Simple," he says, "just subtract 274 from Tuesday."

The Unknown Celebrity

The Pope travels to America. Upon arriving in America, a limo comes to pick him up. The Pope, having a simple background, had never driven a limo before. So he excitedly asks the driver if he can drive the limo to the hotel. The driver, flabbergasted, had never heard such a request before and decided "why not?" And so, the Pope and the driver switch spots and pull out of the airport. On the freeway, the Pope gets a bit too excited and starts to push more on the accelerator. Suddenly the a siren rings out. The Pope pulls over and pulls out his passport. The cop walks up and the Pope rolls down the window. "What seems to be the problem officer?" The officer immediately recognizes His Holiness and runs back to squad car. He quickly radios into headquarters. "Boss, I just pulled over a huge celebrity! What should I do?" His captain radios back, "Well....who is it?" "Sir, I have no idea. But it has to be some one big....he's got the Pope driving for him!"

Russian foodie joke

A guy sitting in a restaurant in Moscow orders quail. When it arrives, using two spoons he carefully opens and peers into the rear of bird and announces, "This is not a quail. It is a simple chicken: born in Saint Petersburg, age: 3 years. Please, waiter, bring me a quail!"
Each subsequent delivery of fowl by the waiter is settled by the mysterious diner in the same manner: two spoons, a quick inspection, followed by an indubitable declaration: Kiev, 2 years; Minsk, 4 years; Volgograd, 5 years!
Meanwhile, a local is seated in the corner table, drinking v**... freely, inscrutable, and privy to the entire quail affair. Slowly, he rises to his feet, acquires an unsteady but adequate balance, makes his way to the mysterious diner's table, turns, drops his pants, and plaintively asks, "My droog, please help me! I orphan! How many years I have? And where I am born???"

So a young man comes to his first ever Karate lesson

He steps through the doors of the dojo and sees three groups being taught moves by an instructor
He is directed to the first line where one of the Sensei's is teaching them how to block a hit
The man quickly learns the move and advances to the second group, proud of his achievement
The second line is taught one by one to perform a simple throw, but the man struggles as he has always lacked upper body strength
After many tries he finally succeeds but he decides karate is just not for him.
The young man turns around and walks towards the door, however on his way out the Sensei calls out his name and says:
"Hey, didn't you forget the punch line?"

The Stuttering Bible Salesman

A man had just accepted his new job as a door-to-door Bible salesman and was introducing himself to his new co-workers.
It quickly became clear that the man had a severe stutter and the other workers began to make fun of him for it. But by the end of the week when the man had sold over 1,000 Bibles, the other workers were very impressed and stopped making fun of him.
"How did you manage to sell that many Bibles in a week?", they all asked the stuttering salesman.
"It's r-really s-s-simple," he said. " I just go up and kn-knock on the d-door and when th-they open it, I s-say, 'W-would you li-like to b-buy this Bi-Bible or d-do you w-want me t-to r-rea-read it t-to you?'"

On a famous TV game show a blonde contestant needed only to answer one more question.

One simple question stood between her and the Ł1.000 prize.
"To be today's champion," the show's host smiled, "name two of Santa's reindeer."
The blonde gave a sigh of relief because she had been given such an easy question.
"Rudolph!" she said confidently, "and... Olive!"
The studio audience started to applaud (as the little sign above their heads said to do) but the clapping quickly faded into mumbling, and the confused host replied, "Yes, we'll accept Rudolph, but could you please explain... 'Olive?!'"
"You know," the woman circled her hand forward impatiently and began to sing, "Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer - had a very shiny nose. And if you ever saw it, you would even say it glowed. *Olive,* the other reindeer..."