Queue Jokes
122 queue jokes and hilarious queue puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about queue that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
This article contains an hilarious collection of queue jokes that will have you laughing out loud.
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Funniest Queue Short Jokes
Short queue jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The queue humour may include short batch jokes also.
- Queue sounds like q followed by 4 silent letters, but… They're just waiting their turn.
- A lesbian, a gay man, a bisexual person, and a trans person are waiting in line It was an LGBT queue
- Queue is Just Q followed by 4 Silent letters Teacher: Queue is Just Q followed by 4 Silent letters
Me: They aren't Silent, They are waiting their turn - They say a Queue is just a Q, followed by four silent letters but really they are just waiting their turns.
- I stood in line at a vietnamese food truck for an hour. When I finally got to the window, they were sold out and closing for the day.
What a big Pho queue. - Can everyone who is here for the yodelling lessons... Please form an orderly orderly orderly orderly queue.
- I had to wait in line for a bowl of Vietnamese soup That's it, no joke. Don't like it? Pho queue.
- Now that the barbers have reopened, queues are so long that the staff have started handing out burgers and sausages 10/10 - definitely the best barber queue I've been to
- When I went to pay for my items in a spiritualist shop I noticed a sign saying 'Queue on the other side'. So I killed myself.
- My 6-year-old daughter has lined up all of her dolls towards the outdoor grill. Looks like she's preparing some kind of
barbie queue.
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Queue One Liners
Which queue one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with queue? I can suggest the ones about mailbox and booking.
- The last four letters in "queue" are not silent They're just waiting their turn
- What do you call a line at the gay bar? An LGBT queue.
- If you're here for the yodeling....... Form an orderly, orderly, orderly, orderly queue.
- What's black and long? The queue in KFC.
(Sorry please don't hurt me) - What do you call the line for grilled veggies at a supermodel convention? A barbie queue
- Tried going to the obesity clinic before work today. But the queue was enormous.
- I'm giving away free yodelling lessons So please form an Orderly, Orderly, Orderly Queue
- What do you call a queue of trucks? A pickup line
- If you're in line to get Pho are you in the Pho queue?
- Imagine this, you're in a queue to be hit in the face That's the punch line
- Floyd Mayweather, Anthony Joshua and Tyson Fury were waiting in a queue. (Punchline)
- If you're ever feeling useless Remember the ueue in queue .
- What do you call the line at a Vietnamese restaurant? Pho queue
- What do you call a queue of people waiting for hearing aids to be fitted? Deaf row
- What do you call a hundred rabbits hopping backwards in a queue? A receding hairline
Standing In Queue Jokes
Here is a list of funny standing in queue jokes and even better standing in queue puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- So I was standing in the toilet queue at my high school ball. I was wondering why there were also women waiting in the same line so I asked the guy in front of me. "This is the punchline."
- Viet namese restaurants It was so busy when I went for soup I had to stand in a pho queue
- Woman stand in queue in Soviet Union for seven hours When she go in - shop empty.
Woman: Oh - You have no fish?
Comrade shopkeeper: No, here is no meat. No fish - next door! - What do you call a bunch of Vietnamese people standing in line to buy lunch? Pho queue.
- The Vietnamese place on my street has soup so popular they make you stand in a line to get it. It's a big pho queue.
- What do you call a group of gay friends standing in line for ramen? A LGBT-Queue
- If you are standing in line in England to buy some Vietnamese soup you are in the... Pho Queue
- While standing in line at the Vietnamese noodle place, I realized... ...I was stuck in the Pho queue.
- While standing in the queue looking at my phone... I'm online online
Happy Queue Jokes for a Lighthearted Night with Friends
What funny jokes about queue you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean delay jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make queue pranks.
What has 3 teeth and 100 legs?
A m**... queue.
How do you process a queue of table delete requests for an asynchronous database?
Pop, Lock & Drop It
Wrong queue !
This girl was a p**..., but her "granny" didn't know about it. One day, the police rounded up a group of pro's and the girl was caught. The cops had them lined up against a wall of the street where they were caught soliciting. Just then the grandmother walked by and saw her granddaughter.
She asked the girl, "What are you lining up for?"
The granddaughter, not willing to tell the truth, told her grandmother that she was lining up for some free oranges. Well, grandma, not one for passing up something free, joined the back of the line. A policeman who was going down the line taking information from each girl, soon reached the grandmother. He was stunned and bewildered to see her.
So, he asked carefully, "Ma am, you're rather old to be out here, how do you still do it?"
Grandma proudly replied, "Oh, it's easy, I just take out my teeth and s**...'em dry."
Two men arguing
I was in a nightclub queue when two blokes in front of me started arguing.
o**... pushed the other and said, "Four, nine."
The other man pushed him back and said, "Sixteen, twenty-five."
A bouncer reached for his walkie-talkie and said, "I need some help at the door. We've got a couple of men squaring up."
Did you hear the one about Mike Tyson, Lennox Lewis, George Foreman and floyd mayweather Jr in queue at the bank?
Punchline
I was in the queue at starbucks this morning.
The man getting served in front of me, asked for a mocha. "Sorry sir, but we're out of mochas". The guy was fuming "I have a mocha every morning when I come in here!", he raged, "I'll just have to have a latte!". He went and sat down.
I went to the counter and said "I'll have a large latte too, please". They asked me for my name. I asked why they needed it and they told me that they'd write it on my cup and shout it when it was ready.
So I told them my name was Mocha.
What do you get for opening the BEST Vietnamese soup joint in London?
A great big pho queue.
A bloke is in a queue at the supermarket...
...when he notices that the rather dishy blonde behind him has just raised her hand and smiled hello to him.
He is rather taken aback that such a looker would be waving to him, and although familiar he can't place where he might know her from, so he says sorry do you know me?
She replies I maybe mistaken, but I thought you might be the father of one of my children!
His mind shoots back to the one and only time he has been unfaithful, he says are you that stripogram on my stag night that I shagged on the snooker table in front of all my mates whilst your mate whipped me with some wet celery and stuck a cucumber up my rear?
No , she replies, I'm your son's English Teacher
Loads of people are lining up to buy my vampire teeth.
Fang queue.
So, I was waiting in line for Pho, and my buddy called me asking where I was.
For some reason, he was offended when I said "Pho Queue."
The word Queue
Why are the letters "ueue" in Queue silent?
Q had its turn, the others are just waiting in line.
[OC] What did the asian say when he saw a line at the local soup kitchen?
Ugh.... Pho queue...
Past& Sees Her.
Susie is a p**... who doesn't want her gran to know. One day Police raid the brothel & line up the girls outside.The gran walks past& sees her.Quick thinking Susie tells her its a queue for free oranges, so her gran joins the queue. When the Police get to gran, they're surprised& ask her 'how do u do it at your age?'she replies ,I take my teeth out, peel back the skin& s**... 'em until they're dry.
What do you call a queue of boxers?
A punchline.
What do you say when somebody cuts in front of you in line for Vietnamese noodles?
Hey, pho queue, dude
I was waiting in line for soup at my favorite Vietnamese food truck...
When this guy pushes in front to place his order.
I'm like, "Dude, pho queue."
A long queue of people waiting to be hit in the face
This is the punch line
I was once in a queue with John Miles and Miles Davis
It didn't take long, but it went on for Miles and Miles.
Those of you here for the yodelling lessons....
Please form an orderly orderly orderly queue
The word queue does't have 4 silent letters...
They are just waiting their turn.
EDIT
oh haha didN't realise this got so many upvotes thanks guys :D is there a way to edit the title for the spelling error?
A man walks into a small bank
There is no queue and a single teller who he approaches, a big smile on their face visible after a quick glance around:
"Hey, you know something? I like my banks how I like my ladies."
The teller rolls her eyes before asking "How?"
While pulling out a handgun, the man answered:
"Insecure."
I applied to a citizen of Finland
In the online application there was an odd question. "Are you a nice guy", it said, I thought it was an odd question but I clicked yes. Immediately I was directed to a page saying I was directed to the back of the queue for citizenship, I was confused but I read later in the application and it said. "Nice guys, Finnish last".
I was walking past Toys R Us today, when I noticed a really long line outside...
I asked a worker, "What's everyone here for?"
He said, "That's the Barbie queue."
Then, like an fool, I stood in it for forty five minutes waiting for a burger...
There were three ants in a queue. The first ant said "there are 2 ants behind me". The second ant said "there's one ant behind me". The third ant said "there are 2 ants behind me". How is this possible ?
The 3rd ant lied.
My good deed for the day.
This morning at the Tesco check out I was behind an old lady in the queue. Her bill came to £56.83 but when she counted out all her change she only had just under £50. I thought she was probably someone's Nan and I'd like to think someone would have helped my Nan out in that situation. She didn't want me to help her but I insisted and in no time at all, we had all her shopping back on the shelves...
Overheard in a Subway the other day...
The Subway girl turned to the guy in front of me in the queue and said "Footlong?"
He answered, "Look lady, you're very attractive, but I'm not bending it in half for anybody"
There was a comedy club called "The Joke"...
...that had amazing popularity. It wasn't because of the humor the comedians on stage offered, but due to an extremely delicious fruit punch that the establishment sold. It was so popular that people would gather into a queue around the block just to try the stuff. After a while, however, people stopped coming because of the crowding, and the club went out of business. If only the Joke's punch line wasn't so long...
Having to wait in line for Vietnamese soup...
...it's a long Pho Queue.
If I got a lot of boxers to queue up behind each other
I'd have a punchline
I was at a party in middle earth last night. TreeBeard got wasted and started dunking hobbits into a giant punch-bowl of booze. The dwarves laughed and begged for a turn. Soon, a queue of creatures had formed on his branches, eager to take the plunge. I didn't get in line. I knew it was a trick…
Because the real punch-line is always in the calm ents
Did you hear about the queue at the boxing machine?
That was the punch line.
What do you call a row of dolls burning on a grill?
Barbie Queue.
I did my good deed for the day
I was at the Walmart check-out and was behind an old lady in the queue.
Her bill came to $51.60 but when she counted out her change she only had just under $50.
She didn't want me to help her, bless her poor little soul, but I insisted, and in no time we had all her shopping back on the shelves.
The four letters in the word queue aren't silent.
They're just at the back of the Q.
I walked past a toy store with a huge line outside.
I asked what was going on and someone mentioned a complimentary lunch, so I joined in.
Bit dissapointing though, turned out to be a free Barbie queue.
To everyone participating in the yodeling battle...
Please form an orderly, orderly, orderly queue
To pronounce the word, Queue ,you only have to pronounce the letter Q because....
...All the other letter are waiting in line
If you want some Vietnamese soup but there is a really long line
It's basically a big pho queue
At a party, I went to get a fruit cocktail and had to queue behind Elvis, Sasquatch and a Pterodactyl, and I thought to myself…
This is a really weird punchline.
What do you call a line up of dolls?
A Barbie Queue
How does a logician explain why long lines tend to form at the restroom after a movie?
If a lot of people have to urinate, a long line will tend to form. A lot of people *do* have to urinate after a movie, and thus there is a long restroom line. Put a bit more formally:
Pee implies queue. Pee, therefore queue.
I was waiting in line outside B&Q when a friend called to ask how big is the queue?
I said the same size as the B
A son and dad are waiting in a busy, popular barber shop. Dad says, This place is a cookout...
First there's a barber queue, then you get a fresh, tasty cut.
A dutch joke about the Brits and their love for queues, don't know if it translates well
A Brit walks down the street and sees two queues. He gets behind one of them, and asks the woman in front of him:
What is this queue for?
Just for fun says the women.
But what if I don't want to stand in the queue? The Brit asks.
To which the woman replies that's what the other queue is for
I went to get my hair cut today but there were so many in front of me.
After an hour the manager started to hand out hot dogs and burgers as an apology for the long wait.
It was the Best Barber Queue ever!
A lawyer goes to heaven...
...and finds himself at the back of a long queue of Popes.
Suddenly, St. Peter grabs him and takes him straight through the pearly gates.
I don't understand" the lawyer said puzzled. There's hundreds of Popes waiting in line and you've let me in before them. Why?"
Sir, said St. Peter. We've had lots of Popes here. But, you are our FIRST lawyer.
Just seen a queue outside the graveyard..
For some reason, people are dying to get in there
So i was in the queue at the airport and the lady at check-in said "There is a four hour delay" I asked "Why's that?" "The pilot heard a funny noise from the engine..
And it will take us four hours to find a pilot who can't hear it" she said...
What do you call a queue of cats at the bank?
A feline
How do you end a prayer to the noodle God?
Ramen.
I was just in the queue at Tesco when Diana Ross tried to push in.
I said You can't hurry love, you'll just have to wait...
A guy goes to a New Year's Day party. There are hundreds of people, holiday music is playing.
A few groups of people are playing cards. Others are shooting billiards. Yet another group is sitting around a warm fire telling stories. Everyone seems to be having a wonderful time. Realizing he is hungry, the man gets in a large queue and starts chatting with an old friend. After many minutes go by, he realizes he is not in the food line at all. He asks his friend about if this is the right line. Oh, no, the friend said...
This is the punchline.
A lawyer dies and appears in front of the golden gates of heaven...
He finds himself at the back of a long queue of Popes.
Suddenly, St. Peter grabs him and takes him straight through the pearly gates.
I don't understand" the lawyer said puzzled. There's hundreds of Popes waiting in line and you've let me in before them. Why?"
Sir, said St. Peter. We've had lots of Popes here. But, you are our FIRST lawyer.
A Brazilian needs to buy a ticket but don't speak English.
So he decides to listen and copy the person at the front of the queue.
He listens.
"Ticket to midway one-way."
When it's his turn, he asks.
"Ticket to new york one-ork"
~~P.S. I don't speak English. I'm try hard.~~
What do you call...
...a lineup of dolls waiting to take turns being grilled over an open fire?
a Barbie queue
While visiting London an American.....
While visiting London an American entered a Vietnamese soup restaurant and proceeded directly to the counter to place an order. A line of customers off to the side began groaning and mumbling. A man at the front pointed to the back of the line and angrily said "Pho Queue!"
So I went to this Vietnamese Resturaunt
...when I saw some patrons stomp out angrily muttering about someone being rude. It smelled so good I was undeterred. There was a soup station where they put it all together in front of you. I asked the host how.it worked and he pointed and said "pho queue over there"
2 lawyers were stood in a queue at a bank. As they were chatting, some masked robbers came in to the bank and demanded everyone hands over their wallets.
The first lawyer calmly takes his wallet out of his pocket, takes $1000 out of his wallet and hands it to the second lawyer and says here you go, this is that $1000 I owe you
I was in the Post Office queue yesterday when Diana Ross tried to push in.
I said You can't hurry love, you'll just have to wait...
Putin is held hostage by a t**....
A Russian truckdriver stops at the back of a long queue on the motorway. He sees a policeman walking down the line of stopped cars to briefly talk to the drivers. As the policeman approaches the truck, the truckdriver rolls down his window and asks:
Driver: What's going on?
Policeman: A t**... is holding Putin hostage in a car. He's demanding 10 mill rubles, or he'll douse Putin in petrol and set him on fire. So we're asking drivers for donations.
Driver: Oh, ok. How much do people donate on average.
Policeman: About a gallon.
