The Best 84 Queue Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Queue jokes. There are some queue tuxedo jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these queue pigtails puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Queue Jokes and Puns

If there was a hooker named Barbie ...

And she was really good at her job, would the line outside her apartment be called the Barbie queue?

What has 3 teeth and 100 legs?

A meth queue.

How do you process a queue of table delete requests for an asynchronous database?

Pop, Lock & Drop It

Queue joke, How do you process a queue of table delete requests for an asynchronous database?

What do you call the line for grilled veggies at a supermodel convention?

A barbie queue

Wrong queue !

This girl was a prostitute, but her "granny" didn't know about it. One day, the police rounded up a group of pro's and the girl was caught. The cops had them lined up against a wall of the street where they were caught soliciting. Just then the grandmother walked by and saw her granddaughter.
She asked the girl, "What are you lining up for?"
The granddaughter, not willing to tell the truth, told her grandmother that she was lining up for some free oranges. Well, grandma, not one for passing up something free, joined the back of the line. A policeman who was going down the line taking information from each girl, soon reached the grandmother. He was stunned and bewildered to see her.
So, he asked carefully, "Ma am, you're rather old to be out here, how do you still do it?"
Grandma proudly replied, "Oh, it's easy, I just take out my teeth and suck'em dry."


Two men arguing

I was in a nightclub queue when two blokes in front of me started arguing.

One guy pushed the other and said, "Four, nine."

The other man pushed him back and said, "Sixteen, twenty-five."

A bouncer reached for his walkie-talkie and said, "I need some help at the door. We've got a couple of men squaring up."

Did you hear the one about Mike Tyson, Lennox Lewis, George Foreman and Floyd Mayweather Jr in queue at the bank?

Punchline

Queue joke, Did you hear the one about Mike Tyson, Lennox Lewis, George Foreman and Floyd Mayweather Jr in queue

I was in the queue at Starbucks this morning.

The man getting served in front of me, asked for a mocha. "Sorry sir, but we're out of mochas". The guy was fuming "I have a mocha every morning when I come in here!", he raged, "I'll just have to have a latte!". He went and sat down.

I went to the counter and said "I'll have a large latte too, please". They asked me for my name. I asked why they needed it and they told me that they'd write it on my cup and shout it when it was ready.

So I told them my name was Mocha.

What do you call a queue of people waiting for hearing aids to be fitted?

Deaf row

What do you get for opening the BEST Vietnamese soup joint in London?

A great big pho queue.

A bloke is in a queue at the supermarket...

...when he notices that the rather dishy blonde behind him has just raised her hand and smiled hello to him.

He is rather taken aback that such a looker would be waving to him, and although familiar he can't place where he might know her from, so he says sorry do you know me?

She replies I maybe mistaken, but I thought you might be the father of one of my children!

His mind shoots back to the one and only time he has been unfaithful, he says are you that stripogram on my stag night that I shagged on the snooker table in front of all my mates whilst your mate whipped me with some wet celery and stuck a cucumber up my rear?

No , she replies, I'm your son's English Teacher

You can explore queue list reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean queue tux dad jokes. There are also queue puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


Loads of people are lining up to buy my vampire teeth.

Fang queue.

The Vietnamese place on my street has soup so popular they make you stand in a line to get it.

It's a big pho queue.

So, I was waiting in line for Pho, and my buddy called me asking where I was.

For some reason, he was offended when I said "Pho Queue."

The word Queue

Why are the letters "ueue" in Queue silent?

Q had its turn, the others are just waiting in line.

[OC] What did the asian say when he saw a line at the local soup kitchen?

Ugh.... Pho queue...

Queue joke, [OC] What did the asian say when he saw a line at the local soup kitchen?

Past& Sees Her.

Susie is a prostitute who doesn't want her gran to know. One day Police raid the brothel & line up the girls outside.The gran walks past& sees her.Quick thinking Susie tells her its a queue for free oranges, so her gran joins the queue. When the Police get to gran, they're surprised& ask her 'how do u do it at your age?'she replies ,I take my teeth out, peel back the skin& suck 'em until they're dry.

What do you call a queue of boxers?

A punchline.

What do you say when somebody cuts in front of you in line for Vietnamese noodles?

Hey, pho queue, dude


So I was standing in the toilet queue at my high school ball. I was wondering why there were also women waiting in the same line so I asked the guy in front of me.

"This is the punchline."

I was waiting in line for soup at my favorite Vietnamese food truck...

When this guy pushes in front to place his order.

I'm like, "Dude, pho queue."

A long queue of people waiting to be hit in the face

This is the punch line

Tried going to the obesity clinic before work today.

But the queue was enormous.

I was once in a queue with John Miles and Miles Davis

It didn't take long, but it went on for Miles and Miles.

The last four letters in "queue" are not silent

They're just waiting their turn

Those of you here for the yodelling lessons....

Please form an orderly orderly orderly queue

The word queue does't have 4 silent letters...

They are just waiting their turn.

EDIT
oh haha didN't realise this got so many upvotes thanks guys :D is there a way to edit the title for the spelling error?

A man walks into a small bank

There is no queue and a single teller who he approaches, a big smile on their face visible after a quick glance around:

"Hey, you know something? I like my banks how I like my ladies."

The teller rolls her eyes before asking "How?"

While pulling out a handgun, the man answered:

"Insecure."

I applied to a citizen of Finland

In the online application there was an odd question. "Are you a nice guy", it said, I thought it was an odd question but I clicked yes. Immediately I was directed to a page saying I was directed to the back of the queue for citizenship, I was confused but I read later in the application and it said. "Nice guys, Finnish last".

I was walking past Toys R Us today, when I noticed a really long line outside...

I asked a worker, "What's everyone here for?"

He said, "That's the Barbie queue."

Then, like an fool, I stood in it for forty five minutes waiting for a burger...

If you're here for the yodeling.......

Form an orderly, orderly, orderly, orderly queue.

I told my psychologist I thought I was turning into snooker ball

She sent me to the end of the queue

There were three ants in a queue. The first ant said "there are 2 ants behind me". The second ant said "there's one ant behind me". The third ant said "there are 2 ants behind me". How is this possible ?

The 3rd ant lied.

My good deed for the day.

This morning at the Tesco check out I was behind an old lady in the queue. Her bill came to Β£56.83 but when she counted out all her change she only had just under Β£50. I thought she was probably someone's Nan and I'd like to think someone would have helped my Nan out in that situation. She didn't want me to help her but I insisted and in no time at all, we had all her shopping back on the shelves...

Overheard in a Subway the other day...

The Subway girl turned to the guy in front of me in the queue and said "Footlong?"

He answered, "Look lady, you're very attractive, but I'm not bending it in half for anybody"

Woman stand in queue in Soviet Union for seven hours

When she go in - shop empty.
Woman: Oh - You have no fish?
Comrade shopkeeper: No, here is no meat. No fish - next door!

There was a comedy club called "The Joke"...

...that had amazing popularity. It wasn't because of the humor the comedians on stage offered, but due to an extremely delicious fruit punch that the establishment sold. It was so popular that people would gather into a queue around the block just to try the stuff. After a while, however, people stopped coming because of the crowding, and the club went out of business. If only the Joke's punch line wasn't so long...

Having to wait in line for Vietnamese soup...

...it's a long Pho Queue.

If I got a lot of boxers to queue up behind each other

I'd have a punchline

They say a Queue is just a Q, followed by four silent letters

but really they are just waiting their turns.

I was at a party in middle earth last night. TreeBeard got wasted and started dunking hobbits into a giant punch-bowl of booze. The dwarves laughed and begged for a turn. Soon, a queue of creatures had formed on his branches, eager to take the plunge. I didn't get in line. I knew it was a trick…

Because the real punch-line is always in the calm ents

Queue is Just Q followed by 4 Silent letters

Teacher: Queue is Just Q followed by 4 Silent letters
Me: They aren't Silent, They are waiting their turn

Did you hear about the queue at the boxing machine?

That was the punch line.

What do you call the line at a Vietnamese restaurant?

Pho queue

What do you call a row of dolls burning on a grill?

Barbie Queue.

I did my good deed for the day

I was at the Walmart check-out and was behind an old lady in the queue.

Her bill came to $51.60 but when she counted out her change she only had just under $50.

She didn't want me to help her, bless her poor little soul, but I insisted, and in no time we had all her shopping back on the shelves.

The four letters in the word queue aren't silent.

They're just at the back of the Q.

I walked past a toy store with a huge line outside.

I asked what was going on and someone mentioned a complimentary lunch, so I joined in.

Bit dissapointing though, turned out to be a free Barbie queue.

To everyone participating in the yodeling battle...

Please form an orderly, orderly, orderly queue

What do British people call a line of customers waiting for Pho?

Pho queue

To pronounce the word, Queue ,you only have to pronounce the letter Q because....

...All the other letter are waiting in line

What's black and long?

The queue in KFC.

(Sorry please don't hurt me)

Amongst the usual queue of studded leather, chained piercings and rubber appendages, the S&M club doorman was surprised to see a bespectacled man in a shirt and tie standing patiently, a calculator in one hand. "Who are you, are you lost?" asked the doorman.

"Oh, I'm the statistician" came the reply.
"Then...what are you here for?"
With an unsettling grin, the statistician produced a pencil from his back pocket.
"Just standard deviation."

If you want some Vietnamese soup but there is a really long line

It's basically a big pho queue

At a party, I went to get a fruit cocktail and had to queue behind Elvis, Sasquatch and a Pterodactyl, and I thought to myself…

This is a really weird punchline.

There's always a queue for piercings at Pirate Bill's tattoo parlour. Great value.

He's a buccaneer

If you're ever feeling useless

Remember the ueue in queue .

What do you call a line up of dolls?

A Barbie Queue

What do you call a line for Vietnamese soup?

Pho queue.

How does a logician explain why long lines tend to form at the restroom after a movie?

If a lot of people have to urinate, a long line will tend to form. A lot of people *do* have to urinate after a movie, and thus there is a long restroom line. Put a bit more formally:
Pee implies queue. Pee, therefore queue.

Queue sounds like q followed by 4 silent letters, but…

They're just waiting their turn.

What do you call a bunch of Vietnamese people standing in line to buy lunch?

Pho queue.

I was waiting in line outside B&Q when a friend called to ask how big is the queue?

I said the same size as the B

A son and dad are waiting in a busy, popular barber shop. Dad says, This place is a cookout...

First there's a barber queue, then you get a fresh, tasty cut.

In California, one American queuing for Coronavirus testing

In California, one American queuing for Coronavirus testing, waited half a day and getting angry, told the person behind him that he had enough of this waiting. He requested the person behind him to save his place in the queue as he is going to shoot Trump.



After few hours he came back.



The person that saved his place for him asked : did you shoot him? He replied, "No, the Q there is even longer than here!"

I had to wait in line for a bowl of Vietnamese soup

That's it, no joke. Don't like it? Pho queue.

A Dutch joke about the Brits and their love for queues, don't know if it translates well

A Brit walks down the street and sees two queues. He gets behind one of them, and asks the woman in front of him:

What is this queue for?

Just for fun says the women.

But what if I don't want to stand in the queue? The Brit asks.

To which the woman replies that's what the other queue is for

I went to get my hair cut today but there were so many in front of me.

After an hour the manager started to hand out hot dogs and burgers as an apology for the long wait.

It was the Best Barber Queue ever!

A lawyer goes to heaven...

...and finds himself at the back of a long queue of Popes.

Suddenly, St. Peter grabs him and takes him straight through the pearly gates.

I don't understand" the lawyer said puzzled. There's hundreds of Popes waiting in line and you've let me in before them. Why?"

Sir, said St. Peter. We've had lots of Popes here. But, you are our FIRST lawyer.

Just seen a queue outside the graveyard..

For some reason, people are dying to get in there

So i was in the queue at the airport and the lady at check-in said "There is a four hour delay" I asked "Why's that?" "The pilot heard a funny noise from the engine..

And it will take us four hours to find a pilot who can't hear it" she said...

What do you call a queue of cats at the bank?

A feline

I stopped by my favorite noodle place on my lunch break, but the line to get in was out the door.

There was no way I'd be able to order and get back to work on time, it was a real pho queue.

I was just in the queue at Tesco when Diana Ross tried to push in.

I said You can't hurry love, you'll just have to wait...

A guy goes to a New Year's Day party. There are hundreds of people, holiday music is playing.

A few groups of people are playing cards. Others are shooting billiards. Yet another group is sitting around a warm fire telling stories. Everyone seems to be having a wonderful time. Realizing he is hungry, the man gets in a large queue and starts chatting with an old friend. After many minutes go by, he realizes he is not in the food line at all. He asks his friend about if this is the right line. Oh, no, the friend said...

This is the punchline.

If you're in line to get Pho are you in the

Pho queue?

A lawyer dies and appears in front of the golden gates of heaven...

He finds himself at the back of a long queue of Popes.

Suddenly, St. Peter grabs him and takes him straight through the pearly gates.

I don't understand" the lawyer said puzzled. There's hundreds of Popes waiting in line and you've let me in before them. Why?"

Sir, said St. Peter. We've had lots of Popes here. But, you are our FIRST lawyer.

Now that the barbers have reopened, queues are so long that the staff have started handing out burgers and sausages

10/10 - definitely the best barber queue I've been to

Can everyone who is here for the yodelling lessons...

Please form an orderly orderly orderly orderly queue.

Floyd Mayweather, Anthony Joshua and Tyson Fury were waiting in a queue.

(Punchline)

What do you call a queue of trucks?

A pickup line

A Brazilian needs to buy a ticket but don't speak English.

So he decides to listen and copy the person at the front of the queue.

He listens.

"Ticket to midway one-way."

When it's his turn, he asks.

"Ticket to new york one-ork"


~~P.S. I don't speak English. I'm try hard.~~

What do you call...

...a lineup of dolls waiting to take turns being grilled over an open fire?



a Barbie queue

What do you call a line at the gay bar?

An LGBT queue.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the queue breadline jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working queue corsage piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes