Queue Jokes
117 queue jokes and hilarious queue puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about queue that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
This article contains an hilarious collection of queue jokes that will have you laughing out loud.
Funniest Queue Short Jokes
Short queue jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The queue humour may include short batch jokes also.
- Queue sounds like q followed by 4 silent letters, but… They're just waiting their turn.
- A lesbian, a gay man, a bisexual person, and a trans person are waiting in line It was an LGBT queue
- I stood in line at a vietnamese food truck for an hour. When I finally got to the window, they were sold out and closing for the day.
What a big Pho queue. - I had to wait in line for a bowl of Vietnamese soup That's it, no joke. Don't like it? Pho queue.
- Now that the barbers have reopened, queues are so long that the staff have started handing out burgers and sausages 10/10 - definitely the best barber queue I've been to
- My 6-year-old daughter has lined up all of her dolls towards the outdoor grill. Looks like she's preparing some kind of
barbie queue. - I went to a snooker store recently but walked straight out you should have seen the queues
- At a party, I went to get a fruit cocktail and had to queue behind Elvis, Sasquatch and a Pterodactyl, and I thought to myself… This is a really weird punchline.
- What do you get for opening the BEST Vietnamese soup joint in London? A great big pho queue.
- Did you hear the one about Mike Tyson, Lennox Lewis, George Foreman and floyd mayweather Jr in queue at the bank? Punchline
Share These Queue Jokes With Friends
Queue One Liners
Which queue one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with queue? I can suggest the ones about mailbox and delay.
- What do you call a line at the gay bar? An LGBT queue.
- If you're here for the yodeling....... Form an orderly, orderly, orderly, orderly queue.
- What's black and long? The queue in KFC.
(Sorry please don't hurt me) - What do you call the line for grilled veggies at a supermodel convention? A barbie queue
- Tried going to the obesity clinic before work today. But the queue was enormous.
- What do you call a queue of trucks? A pickup line
- If you're in line to get Pho are you in the Pho queue?
- Floyd Mayweather, Anthony Joshua and Tyson Fury were waiting in a queue. (Punchline)
- If you're ever feeling useless Remember the ueue in queue .
- What do you call a queue of people waiting for hearing aids to be fitted? Deaf row
- What do you call a line up of dolls? A Barbie Queue
- Loads of people are lining up to buy my vampire teeth. Fang queue.
- Why is R late for work? Because there's a Q-ueue before him.
- Why do astronauts on the ISS never spend much time in queues? Because they weightless.
- What do you call a queue of cats at the bank? A feline
Standing In Queue Jokes
Here is a list of funny standing in queue jokes and even better standing in queue puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- So I was standing in the toilet queue at my high school ball. I was wondering why there were also women waiting in the same line so I asked the guy in front of me. "This is the punchline."
- Viet namese restaurants It was so busy when I went for soup I had to stand in a pho queue
- Woman stand in queue in Soviet Union for seven hours When she go in - shop empty.
Woman: Oh - You have no fish?
Comrade shopkeeper: No, here is no meat. No fish - next door! - While standing in the queue looking at my phone... I'm online online
Happy Queue Jokes for a Lighthearted Night with Friends
What funny jokes about queue you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean timer jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make queue pranks.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
If there was a h**... named Barbie ...
And she was really good at her job, would the line outside her apartment be called the Barbie queue?
How do you process a queue of table delete requests for an asynchronous database?
Pop, Lock & Drop It
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Wrong queue !
This girl was a p**..., but her "granny" didn't know about it. One day, the police rounded up a group of pro's and the girl was caught. The cops had them lined up against a wall of the street where they were caught soliciting. Just then the grandmother walked by and saw her granddaughter.
She asked the girl, "What are you lining up for?"
The granddaughter, not willing to tell the truth, told her grandmother that she was lining up for some free oranges. Well, grandma, not one for passing up something free, joined the back of the line. A policeman who was going down the line taking information from each girl, soon reached the grandmother. He was stunned and bewildered to see her.
So, he asked carefully, "Ma am, you're rather old to be out here, how do you still do it?"
Grandma proudly replied, "Oh, it's easy, I just take out my teeth and s**...'em dry."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Two men arguing
I was in a nightclub queue when two blokes in front of me started arguing.
o**... pushed the other and said, "Four, nine."
The other man pushed him back and said, "Sixteen, twenty-five."
A bouncer reached for his walkie-talkie and said, "I need some help at the door. We've got a couple of men squaring up."
I was in the queue at starbucks this morning.
The man getting served in front of me, asked for a mocha. "Sorry sir, but we're out of mochas". The guy was fuming "I have a mocha every morning when I come in here!", he raged, "I'll just have to have a latte!". He went and sat down.
I went to the counter and said "I'll have a large latte too, please". They asked me for my name. I asked why they needed it and they told me that they'd write it on my cup and shout it when it was ready.
So I told them my name was Mocha.
If a stack is first in last out and a queue is first in first out, what is a circular queue?
First in never out.
There was a lady in the queue carrying 6 lucozades on her head...
She had to walk over 10 aisles a day to get it
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A bloke is in a queue at the supermarket...
...when he notices that the rather dishy blonde behind him has just raised her hand and smiled hello to him.
He is rather taken aback that such a looker would be waving to him, and although familiar he can't place where he might know her from, so he says sorry do you know me?
She replies I maybe mistaken, but I thought you might be the father of one of my children!
His mind shoots back to the one and only time he has been unfaithful, he says are you that stripogram on my stag night that I shagged on the snooker table in front of all my mates whilst your mate whipped me with some wet celery and stuck a cucumber up my rear?
No , she replies, I'm your son's English Teacher
So, I was waiting in line for Pho, and my buddy called me asking where I was.
For some reason, he was offended when I said "Pho Queue."
What do you call an Alistar player in League of Legends who doesn't lock in in Dynamic Queue?
Locktose Intolerant
The word Queue
Why are the letters "ueue" in Queue silent?
Q had its turn, the others are just waiting in line.
[OC] What did the asian say when he saw a line at the local soup kitchen?
Ugh.... Pho queue...
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Past& Sees Her.
Susie is a p**... who doesn't want her gran to know. One day Police raid the brothel & line up the girls outside.The gran walks past& sees her.Quick thinking Susie tells her its a queue for free oranges, so her gran joins the queue. When the Police get to gran, they're surprised& ask her 'how do u do it at your age?'she replies ,I take my teeth out, peel back the skin& s**... 'em until they're dry.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
All the letters of the alphabet line up in front of a p**...
A says, "Alpha queue".
What do you call a queue of boxers?
A punchline.
You Know What My Father Used To Always Say?
Nothing because he was never around.
Queue sad audience "awwww"
A man tried to attend a boxing competition but he couldn't find out where to queue
there is no punch line
I was waiting in line for soup at my favorite Vietnamese food truck...
When this guy pushes in front to place his order.
I'm like, "Dude, pho queue."
What do you call the queue to Alcatraz?
Alkaline
"What line should we wait in for food?"
"Pho queue"
I was once in a queue with John Miles and Miles Davis
It didn't take long, but it went on for Miles and Miles.
The word queue does't have 4 silent letters...
They are just waiting their turn.
EDIT
oh haha didN't realise this got so many upvotes thanks guys :D is there a way to edit the title for the spelling error?
This guy asked me if I wanted vampire teeth.
I said, "Yes."
He said, "Would you like to join the long line of people over there then?"
I said, "No fang queue."
A man walks into a small bank
There is no queue and a single teller who he approaches, a big smile on their face visible after a quick glance around:
"Hey, you know something? I like my banks how I like my ladies."
The teller rolls her eyes before asking "How?"
While pulling out a handgun, the man answered:
"Insecure."
I applied to a citizen of Finland
In the online application there was an odd question. "Are you a nice guy", it said, I thought it was an odd question but I clicked yes. Immediately I was directed to a page saying I was directed to the back of the queue for citizenship, I was confused but I read later in the application and it said. "Nice guys, Finnish last".
I told my psychologist I thought I was turning into snooker ball
She sent me to the end of the queue
There were three ants in a queue. The first ant said "there are 2 ants behind me". The second ant said "there's one ant behind me". The third ant said "there are 2 ants behind me". How is this possible ?
The 3rd ant lied.
Overheard in a Subway the other day...
The Subway girl turned to the guy in front of me in the queue and said "Footlong?"
He answered, "Look lady, you're very attractive, but I'm not bending it in half for anybody"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
How do you end a prayer to the noodle God?
Ramen.
There was a comedy club called "The Joke"...
...that had amazing popularity. It wasn't because of the humor the comedians on stage offered, but due to an extremely delicious fruit punch that the establishment sold. It was so popular that people would gather into a queue around the block just to try the stuff. After a while, however, people stopped coming because of the crowding, and the club went out of business. If only the Joke's punch line wasn't so long...
If I got a lot of boxers to queue up behind each other
I'd have a punchline
I was at a party in middle earth last night. TreeBeard got wasted and started dunking hobbits into a giant punch-bowl of booze. The dwarves laughed and begged for a turn. Soon, a queue of creatures had formed on his branches, eager to take the plunge. I didn't get in line. I knew it was a trick…
Because the real punch-line is always in the calm ents
Did you hear about the queue at the boxing machine?
That was the punch line.
I walked past a toy store with a huge line outside.
I asked what was going on and someone mentioned a complimentary lunch, so I joined in.
Bit dissapointing though, turned out to be a free Barbie queue.
A Canadian saw a man push into a long queue
He told him to que back.
I went to the gym the other day to check out their new 10 meter barbells
When I got there, the queue was going all the way out the door.
I decided to go home instead, it wasn't worth the long weight.
I started directing the queue with 'stop' and 'go' signs..
But was arrested for human trafficking.
What do British people call a line of customers waiting for Pho?
Pho queue
A man was waiting in a queue. When he got to the front he was immediately hit in the face...
-
...
I guess he forgot about the punchline too.
To pronounce the word, Queue ,you only have to pronounce the letter Q because....
...All the other letter are waiting in line
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Amongst the usual queue of studded leather, chained piercings and rubber appendages, the s**... club doorman was surprised to see a bespectacled man in a shirt and tie standing patiently, a calculator in one hand. "Who are you, are you lost?" asked the doorman.
"Oh, I'm the statistician" came the reply.
"Then...what are you here for?"
With an unsettling grin, the statistician produced a pencil from his back pocket.
"Just standard deviation."
If you want some Vietnamese soup but there is a really long line
It's basically a big pho queue
Tsunami: The T is silent
Honest: The H is silent
Island: The S is silent
Queue: The ueue is silent
My Jokes: Everyone is silent
There's always a queue for piercings at Pirate Bill's tattoo parlour. Great value.
He's a buccaneer
How does a logician explain why long lines tend to form at the restroom after a movie?
If a lot of people have to urinate, a long line will tend to form. A lot of people *do* have to urinate after a movie, and thus there is a long restroom line. Put a bit more formally:
Pee implies queue. Pee, therefore queue.
There's 2 lions in a queue one pushes the other and says
Mufasta
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
s**... shop is open again
So the COVID19 lockdown has relaxed enough that the s**... shop is open again.
Now you are allowed to queue outside and then tell the shop assistant at the table blocking the entrance what you need for your perversions and fantasies.
The brothels are sueing them for trade infringements.
I was waiting in line outside B&Q when a friend called to ask how big is the queue?
I said the same size as the B
A son and dad are waiting in a busy, popular barber shop. Dad says, This place is a cookout...
First there's a barber queue, then you get a fresh, tasty cut.
In California, one American queuing for Coronavirus testing
In California, one American queuing for Coronavirus testing, waited half a day and getting angry, told the person behind him that he had enough of this waiting. He requested the person behind him to save his place in the queue as he is going to shoot Trump.
After few hours he came back.
The person that saved his place for him asked : did you shoot him? He replied, "No, the Q there is even longer than here!"
A dutch joke about the Brits and their love for queues, don't know if it translates well
A Brit walks down the street and sees two queues. He gets behind one of them, and asks the woman in front of him:
What is this queue for?
Just for fun says the women.
But what if I don't want to stand in the queue? The Brit asks.
To which the woman replies that's what the other queue is for
Did you hear about the time the electronics company started offering free chamomile made with honey to gay people, and there was a long line for it?
They called it the LG bee tea queue.
I went to get my hair cut today but there were so many in front of me.
After an hour the manager started to hand out hot dogs and burgers as an apology for the long wait.
It was the Best Barber Queue ever!
Just seen a queue outside the graveyard..
For some reason, people are dying to get in there
So i was in the queue at the airport and the lady at check-in said "There is a four hour delay" I asked "Why's that?" "The pilot heard a funny noise from the engine..
And it will take us four hours to find a pilot who can't hear it" she said...
I stopped by my favorite noodle place on my lunch break, but the line to get in was out the door.
There was no way I'd be able to order and get back to work on time, it was a real pho queue.
A guy goes to a New Year's Day party. There are hundreds of people, holiday music is playing.
A few groups of people are playing cards. Others are shooting billiards. Yet another group is sitting around a warm fire telling stories. Everyone seems to be having a wonderful time. Realizing he is hungry, the man gets in a large queue and starts chatting with an old friend. After many minutes go by, he realizes he is not in the food line at all. He asks his friend about if this is the right line. Oh, no, the friend said...
This is the punchline.
A lawyer dies and appears in front of the golden gates of heaven...
He finds himself at the back of a long queue of Popes.
Suddenly, St. Peter grabs him and takes him straight through the pearly gates.
I don't understand" the lawyer said puzzled. There's hundreds of Popes waiting in line and you've let me in before them. Why?"
Sir, said St. Peter. We've had lots of Popes here. But, you are our FIRST lawyer.
A Brazilian needs to buy a ticket but don't speak English.
So he decides to listen and copy the person at the front of the queue.
He listens.
"Ticket to midway one-way."
When it's his turn, he asks.
"Ticket to new york one-ork"
~~P.S. I don't speak English. I'm try hard.~~
While visiting London an American.....
While visiting London an American entered a Vietnamese soup restaurant and proceeded directly to the counter to place an order. A line of customers off to the side began groaning and mumbling. A man at the front pointed to the back of the line and angrily said "Pho Queue!"
So I went to this Vietnamese Resturaunt
...when I saw some patrons stomp out angrily muttering about someone being rude. It smelled so good I was undeterred. There was a soup station where they put it all together in front of you. I asked the host how.it worked and he pointed and said "pho queue over there"
