Question Jokes
172 question jokes and hilarious question puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about question that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Do you enjoy question and answer jokes? Discover different types of question jokes and find out if you can answer them questioningly. Learn about the applicant who was so good at quiz-style questions. Read this article now to get some laughs.
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- Short Question Jokes
- Question One Liners
- Question Answer Jokes
- One Question Jokes
- Thinking Question Jokes
- Teachers Question Jokes
- Question And Answer Jokes
- More Question Jokes
Funniest Question Short Jokes
Short question jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The question humour may include short answer jokes also.
- What has 4 letters, sometimes 9 letters, but never has 5 letters. Just a hint: I didn't ask a question.
- I was going to donate blood today, but they always ask waaaay too many personal questions Like, "who's blood is this", and "where did you get it?"
- I scored a 175 on an IQ test with just 3 simple questions 1. My credit card number
2. My social security number
3. Uploading a scan of my birth certificate - My wife, to our therapist: He always misunderstands simple questions. Therapist, to me: What does she mean?
Me: It's a feminine pronoun, - A company owner was asked a question, How do you motivate your employees to be so punctual?"
He smiled & replied, "It's simple. I have 30 employees and 29 free parking spaces. One is paid parking." - How many conspiracy theorists does it take to change a lightbulb? The real question is: who broke the lightbulb and why are they keeping us in the dark?
- Interviewer: What's your greatest weakness? Me: Answering the semantics of a question but ignoring the pragmatics
Interviewer: Could you give me an example?
Me: Yes I could - TIL Calaway's Law states that "the best way to get the right answer on the internet is not to ask a question, it's to post the wrong answer." Now we wait.
- I was going to donate blood today but they started asking way too many personal questions like... Whose blood is this?!"
Where did you get it?!" - Poll: Have You Ever Watched Malcom in the Middle? [YES]
[NO]
[MAYBE, I DON'T KNOW]
[CAN YOU REPEAT THE QUESTION?]
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Question One Liners
Which question one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with question? I can suggest the ones about quiz and problem.
- If you're questioning your sexuality... You probably aren't thinking straight.
- How Long is a chinese name. It's not a question.
- On the perfect date, what question do you ask a girl twice? So... Can I come inside?
- KID : What are condoms used for? DAD : To avoid such questions.
- What do you call a gay question? a query.
- I've been up all night questioning my sexuality. I just couldn't go straight to bed.
- What is my favorite rhetorical question?
- What is the most curious amphibian? I'll give you a hint: They axolotl questions.
- What do you call an inquisitive amphibian? One that axolotl questions
- Dad what do condoms do? Prevent questions like that one son.
- Girlfriend: Are you cheating on me? Me: I don't get why you all ask the same question.
- Who's your daddy? A roleplay exercise in Alabama, a serious question in Detroit.
- Question: If it's not funny, is it still a joke? Answer: In the case of Amy Schumer, yes.
- What's is the #1 question asked after Brexit? UK?
- I kept asking the aquarium owner about the walking fish. He said 'you axolotl questions!'
Question Answer Jokes
Here is a list of funny question answer jokes and even better question answer puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- I went to a halloween party dressed as a chicken. Met a girl dressed as an egg. A question as old as time was answered The chicken
- School joke Teacher: Whoever answers my next question, can go home.
One boy throws his bag out the window.
Teacher: Who just threw that?!
Boy: Me! I'm going home now. - Don't you hate it when people ask you a question just so they can answer it themselves? Because I do
- If you watch Jeopardy backwards, it's about rich people paying money for answers to questions. That is all.
- Went out last night dressed as a chicken and got with a girl dressed as an egg A life long question was answered. It was the chicken
- I failed my biology test today. Apparently, "black guys" isn't the answer to the question "What is found in cells."
- Student: I've been writing my exam for 2 hours but haven't answered a single question!!! Politics Teacher: Well done, that's an A.
- Is it possible to stop a grenade from exploding by putting the pin back in? I need a quick answer to this question
- I just scored a 180 on an IQ test answering three simple questions ! 1. My credit card number
2. My social security number
3. Uploading a scan of my birth certificate - I went out dressed as a chicken last night. and I met a girl who was dressed as an egg. One thing led to another and a lifelong question was answered; it was the chicken.
One Question Jokes
Here is a list of funny one question jokes and even better one question puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Man it's nuts today, I've killed over a dozen zombies and I have one question: Why were they all holding bags of candy?
- I like to do drugs in a Chipotle bathroom Because no one questions you if you spend 45 minutes in a Chipotle bathroom.
- Just an innocent question Arnold Schwarzenegger has a long one, Brad Pitt's is short, Madonna does not have one, and the Pope doesn't use it.
What is it?
>!A last name.!< - I used to work as a bed salesman One day this guy came in and started climbing into the beds and asking really specific questions. Then it hit me, he was an undercover cop.
- The teacher says "If you answer my question, you can go home." One student throws a pen at him. The teacher asks "Who did that?"
"It was me, goodbye." - How many people does it take to change a light bulb? Is just one of the questions I should have asked before buying a lighthouse....
- Hey guys quick question, can you put a pin back in a grenade? Gonna need a fast answer for this one...
- How many magicians does it take to pull a rabbit out of a hat? One. It's a trick question.
- Today I Failed my Biology Test. One of the questions asked. What are normally found inside cells?
Apparently, 'Black People' was not the correct answer. - That one. "that one." says a booy.
"what do you mean?" says another boy.
"oh, i was just answering your question."
"what question?"
"i already told you."
Thinking Question Jokes
Here is a list of funny thinking question jokes and even better thinking question puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- How many Tenors does it take to screw in a Lightbulb? Trick Question. They only think they can reach that high.
- So many people think drugs and alcohol are the answer. But drugs and alcohol are the question. Yes is the answer.
- An English test question asked us to use the word "horticulture" in a sentence. I wrote, "You can lead a horticulture but you can't make her think."
- There's a question in the exam that said, "What is the past tense of 'think'?"
So I thought and thought and thought and eventually I picked 'thinked'. - I failed my biology test today. There was a question that asked, "What is commonly found in cells?" I guess my teacher didn't think "black people" was a good answer.
- The more I think about it the more Murphy's law makes sense. The best way to get the right answer on the Internet is indeed not to ask a question but to post the wrong answer.
- The lady who birthed babies started questioning her career choice. I think she was going through a midwife crisis.
... - People told me girls wait their whole lives to hear a man say "I do" Apparently not if the question was "Do you think I put on weight?"
- Some people don't really question Middle Eastern markets. I think they're bazaar.
- Before my father kicked the bucket he asked me the most profound question... He said "How far do you think I can kick this bucket?"
Teachers Question Jokes
Here is a list of funny teachers question jokes and even better teachers question puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- A frustrated student handed in his exam. "I've been writing for two hours, yet i haven't answered a single question!" he complained.
"Well done, that's a straight A." replied the Politics Teacher. - As the teacher marked my quiz answers, she said, "This is wrong." "Question 2 ?" I asked.
"No, the way your hand is resting between my thighs." - Teacher: Whoever answers my next question can go home.
Little Johnny throws his bag out of the window.
Teacher: Who just threw that?
Little Johnny: Me, and I'm going home now! - Teacher - how did our grandparents kill time without smartphones or internet ? Student- I've already asked this question to my mum, her 5 brothers and 7 sisters !!
- Boy and girl in class asked the teacher a question.
"Can kids of our age have kids?"
Teacher replied " NO Never!!"
Boy said to girl :
"See I told you not to worry!!!!" - Student: (*hands in exam*) "I've been writing for 2 hours but I haven't answered a single question!" Politics Teacher: "Congratulations, that's a straight A."
- A teacher asks a student.. Teacher: I'm gonna ask you a question and I want you to answer fast. Got it?
Student: Yes teacher.
Teacher: What is 2+2?
Student: FAST! - My music teacher asked me a question. I said, "Miley Cyrus and Taylor Swift." "Excuse me?" he replied, hesitantly. "I was asking if you knew 'sheet' music."
- Teacher : Why did you only fill in all the odd questions in the exam? Blonde : Because i can't even
- Q & A Teacher: First one to answer the next question gets to leave early.
(Johnny immediately threw his bag out the window)
Teacher: Who threw that bag?
Johnny: I did! Bye guys!
Question And Answer Jokes
Here is a list of funny question and answer jokes and even better question and answer puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- A true work question I texted my boss, "What's the difference between this morning and your daughter?"
He answered, "I don't know."
I replied, "I'm not coming in this morning." - I missed a question on my biology exam today. The question was "what are commonly found in cells?" I guess "black people" wasn't the right answer.
- Why did the high school girl only answer questions 1, 3, 5 and 7 on her exam? Because she literally can't even.
- Son: Dad, what does it feel like being father to the best son in the world? Dad: Son, I can not answer that question, but I bet your grandpa can.
- I went to a party dressed as an egg and I hooked up with a guy dressed as a chicken.
I guess we have an answer to that age old question.
It was the chicken. - I failed my biology test today. The question was: "What is commonly found in cells?"
Apparently, "African Americans" wasn't the correct answer. - No matter how bad your personal situation is - alcohol is never the answer Alcohol is the question, and "yes" is the answer.
- A chicken and an egg are laying in bed... When the chicken sits up, lights a cigar and says " Well I guess that answers that question."
- Chicken and an egg are sitting in bed... Egg says in a angry huff "I guess we answered THAT question!"
- Did you know that atoms never touch each other. And since we're made of atoms, we've never touched anything in our entire lives. So to answer your question officer, no I did not punch that kid.
Amusing & Witty Question Jokes for Laughter-Filled Fun
What funny jokes about question you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean poll jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make question pranks.
two h**... trump supporters die and ascend to heaven.
God meets them at the pearly gates and asks if they have any questions.
One of them says, yes, what were the real results of the 2020 election and who was behind the fraud? .
God says, "my son, there was no fraud. Biden won the electoral college fair and square, 306 to 232 .
After a few seconds of stunned silence, the o**... turns to the other and whispers, This goes higher up than we thought .
Two Trump supporters die and go to heaven
God meets them at the pearly gates and asks if they have any questions. One of them says, Yes, what were the real results of the 2020 election and who was behind the fraud?
God says, "My son, there was no fraud. Biden won the electoral college fair and square, 306 to 232.
After a few seconds of stunned silence, the o**... turns to the other and whispers, This goes higher up than we thought.
Years ago, I decided I wanted to be a doctor
Years ago, I decided I wanted to be a doctor,
so I took the entrance exam to go to medical
school.
One of the many questions on human anatomy
asked was to rearrange the letters PNEIS" into
the name of "an important human body part which
is most useful when e**...."
Those who answered "spine" are now doctors
The rest of us are posting jokes on social media.
A teacher told the students, "The person who answers my next question correctly gets to leave class early."
A teacher told the students, "The person who answers my next question correctly gets to leave class early."
Suddenly, a pen came flying across to room, practically hitting the teacher in the face.
"Who threw that?!" the teacher shouted angrily.
"Me!" piped up a voice from the back of the classroom. "Can I leave now?"
Three men are talking in a Soviet gulag.
One of them asks the two others: "So what did you do?"
The first one answers: "Well, I arrived late at the factory, and so they accused me of slowing down the Revolution and the victory of the Proletariat."
The second one answers: "Well, I arrived early at the factory, and so they accused me of wanting to be favored and promoted over my fellow workers."
Then they turn to the one who asked the question: "How about you, then?"
"Well, I arrived at the factory right on time, and so they accused me of having a watch from the West."
I tried donating blood today. Never again!!
Too many s**... questions. Whose blood is it? Where did you get it from?? Why is it in a bucket???
My girlfriend and I broke up today
Her: "I just need time."
Me: "Okay. Yeah, I understand."
Her: "And distance, as well."
Me: "Fine. But can I ask you one last question?"
Her: "Go ahead."
Me: "What are you calculating the velocity of, anyway?"
War
A Dutchman in Amsterdam felt that he needed to confess, so he went to his Priest.
Forgive me Father, for I have sinned. During WWII, I hid a Jewish man in my attic.
Well, answered the Priest, That's not a sin.
But I made him pay me 20 gulden for each week he stayed. The Dutchman said.
The Priest replied, I admit that wasn't good, but you did it for a good cause.
The Dutchman exclaimed Oh thank you Father; that eases my mind. Father, I have one more question.
What is it son? ask the priest.
The Dutchman whispered Do I have to tell him the war is over?
A teacher says to her class "whoever answers my next question can go home."
One boy at the back of the class throws his bag out the window.
"Who just threw that? Demands the teacher.
"Me" replied the boy. "And I'm going home."
A Sunday school teacher posed a question to her class, "If I were to sell my house, car, donate my possessions to charity, and give all my money to the church, would I get into heaven?"
The children unanimously replied, "No."
The teacher then asked, "If I were to keep the church clean, mow the lawn, and keep everything neat and tidy, would I get into heaven?"
Once again, the answer was a resounding "No."
Apparently perplexed, the teacher asked, "Well, then how can I get into heaven?"
A quick-witted five-year-old boy piped up and replied, "You have to be dead!"
An international school teacher asks a question: "What's your own opinion on food scarcity in other countries?"
**An African student:** What's food?
**A European student:** What's scarcity?
**An American student:** What are 'other countries'?
**A Chinese student:** What's 'my own opinion'?
Mom finds a large number of b**... magazines beneath her sons bed.
Calls her husband up to the room to show him and discuss.
"What do you think we should do?" she asks.
Father frowns and responds "Well I guess spanking him is out of the question"
I looked her square in the eyes and said, "s**... isn't real, right? It's just u**..., right?"
"I meant any questions about the job." the interviewer sighed.
A worldwide survey was conducted by the UN.
The only question asked was: "Would you please give your honest opinion about solutions to the food shortage in the rest of the world?" The survey was a huge failure. In Africa they didn't know what "food" meant. In Eastern Europe they didn't know what "honest" meant. In Western Europe they didn't know what "shortage" meant. In China they didn't know what "opinion" meant. In the Middle East they didn't know what "solution" meant. In South America they didn't know what "please" meant. And in the USA they didn't know what "the rest of the world" meant.
A student receives a bad grade on his exam
And he goes to talk to the teacher, convinced that he's been graded unfairly.
He says to the teacher "I think I deserve some points on these questions, even if my answers weren't entirely correct!"
The teacher sighs and says "ok, I'll take another look at your exam".
The student comes home, and his mother asks him "so how did the exam go?". He replies: "the teacher thought it was remarkable!'
Small Head
A man with a very small head walks into a bar, and the bartender asks, "Why is your head so small?"
He replies, "I was stuck on this island and there was nothing but beautiful women there who had never seen a man before. So I had s**... with all of them. Their leader, who was the most beautiful of all, had the power to grant anybody one wish, so I asked her to have s**... with me. She said she would grant me anything but that, so I said, "Would a little head be out of the question?"
«I'm sleeping with the minister's wife. Can you keep him busy in church for an hour after service for me?»
Mike doesn't like it, but being a friend, he agrees. After the service, Mike asks the minister all sorts of s**... questions, just to keep him occupied.
Finally the minister gets annoyed and asks Mike what he's really up to. Mike, feeling guilty, finally confesses, "My friend is sleeping with your wife right now, and he asked me to keep you occupied."
The minister thinks for a minute, smiles, puts a fatherly hand on Mike's shoulder and says, "You should hurry home now. My wife died a year ago."
Yuri Gagarin returned from space and Khrushchev asked him a question: "While you were up there, did you see god?"
Yuri replied: "Yes."
"That's what I suspected, but don't tell anybody."
Gagarin traveled to Rome and met the Pope, who asked him a question: "While you were up there, did you see god?"
Yuri replied: "No."
"That's what I suspected, but don't tell anybody."
My 85-year-old grandfather was rushed to the hospital with a possible concussion.
**The doctor asked him a series of questions: Do you know where you are? I'm at Rex Hospital. What city are you in? Raleigh. Do you know who I am? Dr. Hamilton. My grandfather then turned to the nurse and said, I hope he doesn't ask me any more questions. Why? she asked. Because all of those answers were on his badge. **
A Rabbi and his friend, a Catholic priest, were having a discussion
when the rabbi asked "Could you ever be promoted withing your church?"
The priest responded, "Well, one day, I hope to become a bishop."
The rabbi asked, "And then?"
The priest though for a second and responded, "Well, then I might become a cardinal."
The rabbi again asked, "And then?"
The priest again pondered the question before responding "Then I would become Pope!"
The rabbi, still unsatisfied, asked "And then?"
The priest, exasperated, cried "What else could I become? God Himself!?"
The rabbi quietly responded "One of our boys made it"
A boy asks his dad a question
A boy asks his dad "Why do they say gardeners have green thumbs,when their thumbs are not green?"
The dad replies,"It's just a saying son,It's like when somebody is caught stealing,they say they have been caught 'red handed',even though their hands is black."
Albert Einstein challenged Mr. Bean
Einstein said to Mr. Bean: "I'll ask you a question.If you can't answer correctly, you'll give me one dollar. Then you ask me a question. If I can't answer correctly, I'll give you 1000 dollars.
Einstein: asks a question.
Mr. Bean after a little while: gives Einstein one dollar.
Einstein says: Okay, it's your turn.
Mr. Bean asks: What's an animal that has four legs, but when it's crossing a street, it has three legs and when it's on the other side of the street, it has only two?
Einstein: Thinks hard for a while.
Einstein says: I give up. *Gives 1000 dollars to Mr. Bean*
Einstein asks: What is it?
Mr. Bean: gives a dollar to Einstein.
A man walks into a job interview...
He sits down on a chair, and the interviewer starts questioning him.
"So son, where did you receive your education?"
The man replied "Yale".
The interviewer, pleasantly surprised, says "Yale? Hard to believe you went to Yale to become a janitor. So what's your name?"
The man replied "Yack Yackson".
I used to smoke w**... and go to class...
Sneak in ten minutes late with a b**... excuse. Slink down low at my desk. Pray to God nobody asked me any questions.
I was the best teacher ever.
Four college students get drunk together the night before their final exam.
They get so drunk that they wake up late and miss their exam. The four students go to the professor together and explain this elaborate lie that their car tire went flat when they were on their way to the exam. They beg for a retest, and the professor agrees.
The day of the makeup test, the four boys all arrive on time, completely sober. The professor looks at the boys, looks at his watch, and says you may begin the test.
The boys open the final booklet and to their surprise, they each only have one question.
Which tire was flat?
Boxers or Briefs, Mr. President?
In 1992 while being interviewed by MTV, Bill Clinton was asked if he wore boxers or briefs? Clinton replied, "Boxers"
In 2008 US magazine asked Obama, "Boxers or briefs"? Obama declined to answer the question.
Last week AARP asked Joe Biden, "Boxers or briefs"? Biden responded, "Depends".
Not too sure I got the job....
Interview I had for a job:
"What's your greatest weakness?"
"Interpreting semantics of a question,
but ignoring the pragmatics."
"Could you give an example?"
"Yes, I could."
Otto the German was driving from Germany to Paris to visit some relatives.
A French cop stops him and asks the usual questions:
cop: name?
Otto: Otto
cop: address?
Otto: 341 Brandenburg Street, Berlin
cop: Occupation?
Otto: no, just visiting...
My 9 year old son has started asking awkward questions about the human body...
I suppose the freezer wasn't the best place to hide it.
A girl was about to jump off a cliff...
A girl was about to jump off a cliff to end her life. Just as she was about to leap to her death, a homeless man approached from behind and shouted to ask her a question,
"Excuse me miss! Before you jump would you like to have s**... with me?"
The woman replied angrily, "No I most certainly would not! How dare you try and take advantage of me in a situation like this!"
The homeless responded, "Very well then, I'll just wait for you to get to the bottom."
My daughter has reached that age where she is asking embarrassing questions about s**....
Just this morning she said "is that the best you can do?".
Me: s**... isn't real, right? It's just u**..., right?
Interviewer: I meant any questions about the job.
Quick question...
How much of this "No More Tears" shampoo do I have to feed this baby to get it to stop crying?
A flat earther dies and goes to heaven.
At the gates of heaven, St. Peter says to them, "Before you enter the gates of heaven, you may ask god one question."
The flat earther asks, "God, is the earth flat?"
God responds, "The earth is 100% a globe."
The flat earther exclaims, "Holy c**...! This conspiracy runs deeper than I thought!"
A joke from my dad: A man goes to a lawyer to ask a few legal questions...
The man says to the lawyer "How much would it cost to ask you a few questions?"
The lawyer says "I charge $400 for three questions."
"That's a bit expensive isn't it?"
"Yep. What's your third question?"
A reporter is interviewing Stevie Wonder
They talk about all the amazing music he has created over the years and the incredible things he has done with his life and as a last question the reporter asks:
"But don't you wish you hadn't been born blind?"
and Stevie replies "Hey, it could've been much worse - I could have been born black"
A teacher told his students, "The person who answers my next question correctly gets to leave class early."
Suddenly, a pen came flying across to room, practically hitting the teacher in the face.
"Who threw that?!" the teacher shouted, angrily.
"Me!" piped up a voice from the back of the classroom. "Can I leave now?"
OMG!!! I was sitting in the Nordstrom bathroom stall
And had just sat down when a voice in the next stall over said Hi! How are
You?? . Embarrased, I said I'm fine? . The voice continued So what are you up to?? I said Just sitting here like you! Then the voice says Can I come over?? Thoroughly annoyed and somewhat alarmed at this point I said sorry I'm kind of busy right now! .
Suddenly the voice says loudly Sorry I'm going to have to call you back - there's some idiot next to me answering all my questions.
A visitor to Harvard asks a professor...
A visitor to Harvard asks a professor, "Excuse me, but would you be good enough to tell me where the Harvard Library is at?"
"Sir," came the sneering reply, "at Harvard we do not end a sentence with a preposition."
"Well, in that case, forgive me," said the visitor. "Permit me to rephrase my question. Would you be good enough to tell me where the Harvard Library is at, j**...?"
Prostate Exam
After my recent Prostate Exam - one of the most thorough examinations I've ever had –
the Doctor left the room and the nurse came in.
After she shut the door, she asked me a question I didn't want to hear....
She said...."Who was that guy?"
What is the most common question the Finnish detective asks a suspect?
"What were you doing the night between November and May?"
Two women are talking in Heaven
One woman asked the other, "how did you die?" The woman replied, "I froze to death." She asked the same question to the other woman, she replied, "I suspected that my husband was cheating on me and looked everywhere in my house for evidence. I couldn't find anything and I dropped dead from exhaustion." The other woman replied "maybe if you had checked the freezer we would both be alive."
A little boy runs up to his father with a question.
"Daddy, daddy!" says the boy, excitedly. "Did you get shot in the army?"
The father looks away and grimaces. The pain is etched clearly on this face. He gets a faraway look in his eye, and a tear rolls down his face, as he says, "No, son..."
"...but I did get shot in the leggy."
Lenin in Warsaw
A Soviet filmmaker makes a film called Lenin in Warsaw. Everybody shows up for the premiere. The film opens—on Lenin's wife, Krupskaya, n**..., having mad s**... with another man. And then another. And another. And so on. The film continues in the same vein for ninety minutes.
Finally, the lights come up and the director takes questions from the audience.
First question: Very interesting movie, comrade, but—where was Lenin?
The director answers: In Warsaw.
I saw a man walking down the road with a woman on his back
I said "where are you going?"
He replied "Fancy dress party"
"What as?" I asked
"Tortoise" the man shouted back
"Who's she?" I questioned
To which he responded "That's Michelle"
The best chicken joke ever!
A chicken and an egg are lying in bed. The chicken is
smoking a cigarette with a satisfied smile on its face.
The egg is frowning and looking a bit p**... off.
The egg mutters to no one in particular,
"Well, I guess we answered THAT question!"
The other day I decided to buy a Ouija board, so I could get in touch with deceased celebrities that havent crossed over yet,
The only celebrity I could get in touch with was Stephen Hawkings.
I asked him a few questions including why he was a ghost and not gone to the after life yet.
Turns out Led Zeppelin was right all along,
there is a stairway to heaven.
How many conspiracy theorists does it take to change a light bulb?
The real question is that who broke the light bulb and why are they keeping us in the dark?
edit.. thanks for the award kind stanger.
A man is convinced is wife is going deaf, but she won't admit it. So he decides to test his theory once and for all.
While she's standing at the sink, he stands about six steps behind her and says, "What's for dinner, dear?"
When there's no answer, he steps a few steps closer and repeats the question.
Again there's no response, so he moves right to his wife's shoulder and asks: "What's for dinner, dear?"
At this his wife turns around angrily and says, "For the third time, sausages!"
A husband asks his wife...
Husband: Darling, if I lost my vision would you be my eyes?
Wife: Honey, of course I would.
Husband: If I lost my hearing would you be my ears?
Wife: Absolutely sweetheart.
Husband: If I lost my legs would you push me around in a wheelchair?
Wife: You don't need to ask. Why all the questions?
Husband: I just sprained my wrist...
What is the most common question the Finnish detective asks a suspect?
"What were you doing the night between November and May?"
I'll see myself out.
I wish my college professors graded papers like Trump 'wins' elections
\*Professor grading my test\*
Well he got the first couple questions right looks like I can stop grading the rest.
How many protestors do you need to change a lightbulb?
Trick question. Protestors don't change anything.
How many seconds in a year joke
a person died and reached the gates of heaven. An angel was guarding the gates. The Angel said "to enter the heaven, you need to answer 3 questions". The person agreed.
A : name 2 days of a week, that starts with letter T.
P : Today and tomorrow
A: ok, I can accept that. How many seconds are there in a year?
P: 12 seconds
A: (shocked) how come?
P: Jan 2nd, Feb 2nd, March 2nd ...
A: you can go in
Two flat earthers die and go to heaven. At the pearly gates they have the chance to ask god any questions they want and get truthful answers, so one flat earther asks god "is the earth flat?" to which god answers "No."
The flat earther looks at the other and says "this goes higher than we thought".
My friend and I bumped into Arnold Schwarzenegger. As fans we asked a lot of questions and ended up asking if he's going to upgrade to Windows 11...
He said, "I still love Vista, baby!"
Anybody caught breaking rule will be fined....
The first day of university and Dean addressing the students, pointing out some of the rules: The female dormitory will be out-of-bounds for all male students and the male dormitory to the female students. Anybody caught breaking this rule will be fined $20 the first time.
He continued, Anybody caught breaking this rule the second time will be fined $60. Being caught a third time will cost you $180. Are there any questions?
At this point, a male student in the crowd inquired: How much for a season ticket?
A young man was about to propose marriage to his girlfriend...
Naturally, he was really nervous and couldn't think of how to pop the question. One day they were sitting on the couch and suddenly he just blurted out, I think we should get married!
Wait, his girlfriend said, taken aback, are you serious?
I think I am, he said.
You're proposing to me here on the couch? she asked.
Yes, I guess I am, he said.
That's not much of a proposal, the girlfriend said. I think you can do better.
I thought so, too, the young man said. But your sister already said no.
I covered all my weapons in glue.
I questioned it at first, but I decided to stick to my guns.
