Queen England Jokes
40 queen england jokes and hilarious queen england puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about queen england that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Queen England Short Jokes
Short queen england jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The queen england humour may include short queen of england jokes also.
- Fidel Castro is dead Looks like Keith Richards and the Queen of England are moving on to the finals.
- What did Gandhi say while having dinner with the Queen of England? "Could you pass the salt?"
- The most inappropriate thing to say to the queen of England, I lick your stamps all the time.
- what's the difference between the queen of England and a cat that makes coffee? One's an Aristocrat
The other's a Barista-Cat - What's the difference between a deck of cards and England? A deck of cards isn't missing a queen.
- What song does the queen of England sing when she takes her clothes off? London's Britches Falling Down
- The Queen of England had a gift for a man who would soon be knighted. She insisted that he be given the gift at the ceremony but told her staff to keep it a secret. She wanted it to be a Sir Prize.
- What's the difference between Princess Diana and Elton John? Only one of them got to be Queen of England...
- The Queen of England doesn't know much about American football... But she does wish someone would do something about those troublesome Patriots.
- The inventor of the Oxford Comma has died. Tributes have been lead by JK Rowling, his wife and the Queen of England.
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Queen England One Liners
Which queen england one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with queen england? I can suggest the ones about queen elizabeth and english people.
- Why is England the wettest country? Because the queen has reigned there for years
- Who is the only homosexual Russian to be knighted by the queen of England? Sergei
- What does the Queen of England drink? Royal tea.
- What vapes do the King and Queen of England use? Crown Juuls
Loads of Fun with Charming Humor Queen England Jokes
What funny jokes about queen england you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean english man jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make queen england pranks.
Q: Why is England the wettest country?
A: Because so many kings and queens have been reigning there.
Q: Why is England the wettest country?
A: Because so many kings and queens have been reigning there.
Q: Why is England the wettest country?
A: Because so many kings and queens have been reigning there.
Q: Why is England the wettest country?
A: Because so many kings and queens have been reigning there.
The Queen of England was showing the Archbishop of Canterbury around the Royal Stables when one of the stallions close by f**... so loudly it couldn’t be ignored.
"Oh dear," said the Queen, "How embarrassing. I’m frightfully sorry about that."
"It’s quite understandable," said the archbishop, and after a moment added, "as a matter of fact I thought it was the horse."
the Queen of England is visting a hospital...
One of the best doctors is showing her around on his trip past all his patients. he walks into room #1 and there is a guy jerking off. The Queen looks at the doctor, with a disgusted face and asks why the man is doing that. The doctor replies that the man has a disease where his t**... produce too much s**..., and that if he doesn't do this, his t**... will explode. The Queen is a bit shocked but can see why the man is doing this.
They then proceed to the next room where they find a patient who is in the middle of being o**... pleased by a nurse. The queen again looks to the doctor with a disgusted face, to which the doctor replies; ''same disease, better insurance.''
George bush stupidity
So George bush, the queen of England, a hockey player, a scientist, and a little kid are all on a plane that will soon c**..., and there are only 4 parachutes.
The queen of England says: "Well all my people back home need me"
takes a parachute and jumps out of the plane.
George bush says: "All my fellow Americans need me"
takes a parachute, jumps out of the plane.
The hockey player says: "Well all of my fans need me"
Takes the parachute and jumps out of the plane.
Now there is just the scientist and the little boy left.
The scientist says: "Hey kid, you have the rest of your life to live, you take the parachute"
The little boy replies, "No, no, no, its ok! George Bush took my backpack.
Why is England the wettest country in Europe?
Because the Queen had reigned there for years.
What would you call it when the Queen of England decides to invade the U.S?
Threat from abroad.
Queen of England
Obama was talking to the queen of England and he asked her how she runs her country so well. The queen replies quite simply that she chooses the best people to run it. Obama considers this for a moment and then asks, "how do you ensure that they are the best people for the job?" The queen answers that she quizzes them, and as an example she calls in Tony Blair. She asks him, "your parents have a child; it's not your brother it's not your sister, who is it?" Tony replies "well of course, it's me". Obama thinks this is smart so he repeats the question to Joe Biden. Biden runs around Washington all day trying to find an answer but no one can figure it out. Finally he comes to the Attorney General and asks him, "your parents have a child; it's not your brother it's not your sister, who is it?" The general replies "of course, it's me". So Biden goes back to Obama and says "it's general so and so", Obama replies, "no you idiot, it's Tony Blair"!
What book does the Queen of England read to get herself into a raunchy mood?
50 Shades of Earl Grey
The queen of England f**... and quickly looked for someone else to blame.
"Bidwell!" she shouted to a servant, "stop that this instant!"
"Of course, your majesty," he replied. "Which way did it go?"
Mile High Club
Airplane pilot comes on the intercom and says "folks, to save the lives of the other 127 people on this plane, 3 of you will have to jump."
Everyone looks around and finally a Frenchman stands up and says "in the name of France, I'll jump. Viva la France!" And he jumps out of the plane.
Next minute an Englishman stands up and says "in the name of England, I'll jump. God save the queen!" And he jumps.
Finally, a big guy stands up and says "I'm from Texas. And in the name of Texas..." he walks to the back of the plane, picks up a Mexican, and throws him from the plane. "Remember the Alamo."
Worst part is, poor little guy was Hawaiian.
The Queen of England is searching for Robin Hood
She looks over a wall and shouts "Nottingham here!"
The pope goes to meet the Queen of England...
They are parading in the streets of London in a horse-drawn carriage. Suddenly on of the horses let's out a big f**....
Queen: So sorry...
Pope: Oh! If you hadn't mentioned it, I would have thought it was the horse.
It's happening in Las Vegas and it's happening after the queen of England has taken a dump.
It's a Royal straight flush.
One day the queen wanted a haircut.
No barber in England would do it.
Why?
Only God shave the Queen.
I recently traveled through time to hook-up with Queen Victoria, the famous n**...-queen of England in the late 1800's.
I was stunned to find out that she wanted me adorned in the latest fashions before we consummated our tri-millenium tryst. She made me wait until I grew large mutton-chop side-burns and a moustache. It took like three weeks. Meanwhile, she had a high fastening and tight fitting frock coat cut to my size with tailored shirts having high upstanding collars tied at the neck with large bow-ties. Finally, after a month, I'm adorned in the finest haberdashery of the day when I come to find out, it is now her time of the month. Since I looked like any gentleman of the era, we had period s**....
The president of America, the president of Russia, and the Queen of England are playing cards.
Elizabeth the Second lays a full house and sips daintily upon a cup of tea. A Russian agent puts a finger to his ear momentarily and approaches the table with a sleek briefcase, which Putin opens to reveal a marvelous hand. Donald then smiles and shows five trump cards.
So donald trump went to visit the queen of England the other day...
Donald trump went to visit the queen of England the the other day, he says to her:
I'd like to change the name of the united states to the empire of the united states."
and she says "no I'm sorry sir, for you to have an empire you'd need to be an emperor, and you sir are no emperor."
he says "well how about the kingdom of the united states?"
and she says "no I'm sorry sir, for you to have a kingdom you must be a king, and you sir are no king"
he goes "well what then"
and she says "i think it would be best if you stayed a country
Chester was really happy, he was about to meet the Queen.
He had been a physics prodigy hailing from a small town in England, and had just been selected to be Knighted by the Queen of England.
After the ceremony, his best friend remarked to him:
"Man, Chester, you Knighted!"
When I grew up in America, I was told that if I work real hard, someday I could be the next President of the United States.
I live in the UK now and noticed that the British aren't as optimistic as Americans.
But as an optimist, I still tell my son that if he worked real hard, someday he could be the next Queen of England.