quebec Jokes

funny pick up lines and hilarious quebec puns

The time Newfoundland went to war with Quebec

One time Newfoundland and Quebec went to war. A Newfie, being patriotic, signed up to fight and went into basic training. Now, Newfoundland was a poor province and the army didn't have enough guns so the guys was told to just pretend to have gun and shout "bang, bang".

Eventually he finished training and his unit was deployed. He still didn't have a gun so when they went up against the Quebeckers he did the only thing he knew, he pretended he had a gun and went "Bang, bang." Amazingly, when he did this the Quebeckers he was aiming at would fall down. So he kept going "Bang, bang" and was very effective as a soldier. He was a good shot.

Then, he looked up and saw a big Quebecker coming down the hill towards him. So he aimed and went "Bang, bang". The guy kept coming. "Bang, bang" - no effect. "Bang, bang" - no effect.

Eventually the Qiuebecker ran right over him and continued down the hill going "Tankity, tankity, tankity".


I baked a cake shaped like Canada, and offered my brother the Quebec slice....

but he's having Nunavut.


With cannabis being legal for over a year in canada, every province has access to weed except Quebec.

They only get oui'd


Quebec, Canada is currently experiencing record breaking flooding

It's a good thing frogs can swim


A man from quebec and a man from Newfoundland meet in a bar....

A man from Quebec and a man from Newfoundland meet in a bar, one of them finds a lamp, he rubs it and a genie comes out, he grants the two with one wish each.

the guy from Quebec says "i want a big, 40 foot wall arround the entire province"

the genie claps his fingers and says "here, done"

the one from Newfoundland aks "is your wall waterproof?"
"uhh yeah?" responded the guy from quebec

"fill her up"


Why was the Newfie excited when he heard Quebec might leave Canada?

It wouldn't take him as long to drive to Toronto


Quebec lovers

Why do Quebecers like to make love doggy style?

So they can both watch the hockey game at the same time!


What's a tacky store for left handed merchandise in Quebec or Paris called?

How Gauche.


Did you hear about the guy that had a map of Canada tattooed on his ass?

every time he sits down, quebec separates


How did the English cheerleaders get hired by the Quebec ice hockey team?

They were the best ones at forming a Q.


What do you call someone from Quebec who's still a virgin

Canada Dry


Why was there a russian spy in Quebec?

He wanted to find a good Putin recipe.


It's winter in Quebec, and a mother cat calls her kittens back inside the den. While taking the short cut across a frozen pond, they hit some thin ice

And un deux trois quatre cinq


If Russia declared war on Quebec

It would be Putin versus Poutine


In support of France, Canada opens new French province called "Quebec."


I was trying to convince these Canadian cannibals to try someone from Quebec for a change...

But they were having Nunavut.


Where do they keep all the trees in Quebec?

Between da twos and da fours.


What are the most funny Quebec jokes of all time ?

Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking with someone about Quebec? Well, here are the best Quebec dad jokes to laugh out loud. Crazy funny puns and Quebec pick up lines to share with friends.


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