The Best 41 Quarterback Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Quarterback jokes. There are some quarterback patriots jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these quarterback rugby puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Quarterback Jokes and Puns

Mild Racism - NSFW

What do you call one white guy surrounded by 5 black guys - Coach

What do you call one white guy surrounded by 10 black guys - Quarterback

What do you call one white guy surrounded by a thousand black guys - Warden

So the Bears were looking for a new quarterback.

The coach had put together the perfect team for the Chicago Bears. The only thing that was missing was a good quarterback. He had scouted all the colleges and even the Canadian and European Leagues, but he couldn't find a ringer who could ensure a Super Bowl win.

Then one night while watching CNN he saw a war-zone scene in Afghanistan . In one corner of the background, he spotted a young Afghan Muslim soldier with a truly incredible arm. He threw a hand-grenade straight into a 15th story window 100 yards away.


He threw another hand-grenade 75 yards away, right into a chimney.


Then he threw another at a passing car going 90 mph.


"I've got to get this guy!" Coach said to himself. "He has the perfect arm!"

So, he brings him to the States and teaches him the great game of football. And the Bears go on to win the Super Bowl.

The young Afghan is hailed as the great hero of football, and when the coach asks him what he wants, all the young man wants is to call his mother.

"Mom," he says into the phone, "I just won the Super Bowl!"

"I don't want to talk to you", the old Muslim woman says."You are not my son!"

"I don't think you understand, Mother," the young man pleads. "I've won the greatest sporting event in the world. I'm here among thousands of my adoring fans."

"No! Let me tell you!" his mother retorts. "At this very moment, there are gunshots all around us. The neighborhood is a pile of rubble. Your two brothers were beaten within an inch of their lives last week, and I have to keep your sister in the house so she doesn't get raped!" The old lady pauses, and then tearfully says, "I will never forgive you for making us move to Chicago !!!!

Sometimes, like a quarterback, you have to make tough calls.

You want to make a play with the tight end but have to end up throwing to the wide receiver.

Quarterback joke, Sometimes, like a quarterback, you have to make tough calls.

Why did the football player go to the bank?

To get his quarterback.

If you suck for money, you go to jail.

Unless you move to dallas, then you become an NFL quarterback.

Why did the football coach call his quarterback a hairdresser?

Because he missed a split-end on a curl.

I was going to be a quarterback for Halloween at work...

...but my boss said we couldn't be anything offensive.

Quarterback joke, I was going to be a quarterback for Halloween at work...

What's the aim of a Jewish football match?

Getting the quarterback.

Why did the football coach ask for a refund?

He wanted to get his quarterback.

Why is a NFL Draft better than a vending machine?

You get a Quarterback.

Why did the coach go to Aldi?

To get his quarterback.

You can explore quarterback volleyball reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean quarterback coach dad jokes. There are also quarterback puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.

What do you get when you mix an insurance company with an NFL quarterback?

An Aflacco

The Atlanta quarterback should become a baseball pitcher...

He's great at throwing.

How does a quarterback discipline his kids?

Intentional Grounding

What do you call a footballer with only 6 vertebrae?


Why is going to a football game cheaper than going to a concert?

With the concert, you get to see Nickelback but with the football game, you get to see your quarterback.

Quarterback joke, Why is going to a football game cheaper than going to a concert?

Why did the football coach break into the vending machine?

To get his quarterback.

What do you call a white guy who is being chased by 11 black guys?

A quarterback

Why did jews play football?

To get the quarterback!

How did the Catholic priest make one team lose the Superbowl?

He told the quarterback to do 20 hail Marys.

How many Quarterbacks does it take to win the National Championship?

Tua them.

What did the quarterback say to the mountain?

Rush more.

What did the Mexican quarterback get arrested for?


What did the football coach say to the broken vending machine?

I want my quarterback!

What does Tom Brady have to do if Giselle gets angry?


The Cleveland Browns gave me change for a vending machine and I still haven't repaid them...

They are really persistent about getting their quarterback

Midget quarterback

Sorry- that's a little offensive.

What kind of house does a quarterback live in?


My girlfriend was faithful to the end

Unfortunately, I was the quarterback

Why is Jameis Winston a better reciever than quarterback?

Because he always catches assault charges

I wonder how often the defensive line in football makes fun of the other team's quarterback

Or maybe that's just too offencive

I tried to stuff a football into the coin slot on the vending machine...

It just gave me my quarterback.

Did you hear about the football coach who accidentally deposited $100.25 instead of $100 at the bank?

He went to go get his quarterback.

What do aldi and the nfl draft have in common?

They're both places you can get a quarterback

Who's your favorite backup quarterback?

I think his name is Justin Case

Tom Brady is 5 times better than Nickelback

He's a quarterback

You hear about the quarterback who switched teams after being sacked 8 times??

The grass was greener on the other side of defense.

What do you call a person missing 75% of their spine?

A quarterback

What do you call a person with only 25% of their spine?

A quarterback

What do you call a Mexican quarterback?

El Passo.

Yo mama jokes thread

What are some of the best "Yo mama" jokes of recent times?

I'll go first: Yo mama's so stupid, she thought a quarterback was a refund.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the quarterback league jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working quarterback football piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes