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Quarter Finals Jokes

12 quarter finals jokes and hilarious quarter finals puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about quarter finals that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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What is a good quarter finals joke to make people laugh? Check out this list of funny stories that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth.

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are stuck on an island

The redhead tries to swim back to land, gets a quarter of the way there, gets tired, and swims back.
The brunette decides to try, swims a third of the way there, gets tired, and swims back.
Finally the blonde tries, swims half of the way there, gets tired, swims back.

A blonde...

...is at a soda machine outside a gas station. A man walks up to her because he sees she has her arms full of soda cans. She put in another quarter, and yet another soda pops out. Another quarter, another can. He finally asked her, "Why do you keep putting money into the machine? I think you have enough." She replied, "I can't help it. I keep winning!"

inflation

There's the story of an old lady selling pretzels for 25 cents on a corner in New York. Every day a young man passes her at lunchtime and drops a quarter in the cup but doesn't take a pretzel. She never says a word. He does this for three years, until one day he drops the quarter in her cup and she finally speaks. They're 35 cents now.

two guys traveling out west

o**... has to take a dump. Complains to other guy, but they can't find a rest area. Finally they see a port a p**... on the side of the road. Guy runs in there but shouts "THERE'S NO TOILET PAPER!!" other guy shouts back "just use a dollar!!"
Guy comes out in a while and has c**... smeared all over his hand. Friend says "WTH happened?" Other guy says "I only had 4 quarters"

The Last Fight

The battle was long, perilous, and gruesome. The twins made it through nearly three quarters of the enemy battalion before reaching the final lines of the fray. They saw the end stretching over the thin horizon.
With their dwindling energy, they let out another strained cry for battle, and lifted their chipped tools, charging nearly head first into death.
The final line proved too brutal for their torn souls, slipping from the elbows of war and plunging hard into the revolting, fetid puddle beneath them.
This is the last time I wear long sleeves while doing dishes.

The score at the end of the 3rd quarter last night was 56-0.

Atlanta felt so bad about what they were doing to the Bucs that they walked off the field at the start of the 4th.
4 plays later Tampa Bay finally scored.

A North Korean farmer is finally rewarded after fifty years of hard labour for the State

A party official visits the farmer in his simple living quarters and proclaims
"Comrade, for your hard work and absolute dedication to the great leader and the Democratic People's Republic, we would like to reward you with a car"
The humble farmer nods silently to show his appreciation, the party official continues;
"As you know, North Korean industry is the the most powerful and efficient in the world, and as such we will have your car delivered to you in exactly 8 years"
The humble farmer then signals to the official to wait, and he crosses the room to check his calendar. After flipping through for some time he finally says;
"Morning or afternoon?"
The party official is rather offended, and remarks "comrade, you are being given a car! And that privilege aside, delivery is 8 years away, what does it matter if its morning or afternoon?"
To which the farmer responds "Well, the plumber is coming in the morning..."

The professor asked "how many believe in ghosts?"

Almost half the class held up their hands
The professor then asked "how many have seen a ghost?"
More than a quarter to the class held up their hands
The professor then asked "How many have talked to a ghost?"
And three students held up their hands
Finally the professor asked "How many have had s**... with a ghost?"
One student, a Muslim in the rear, held up his hand.
The professor walked back to the student, and asked "So you've actually had s**... with a ghost?"
The student looked at the professor, a surprised look on his face, and muttered "I though you said goats..."

Johnny finally makes it to college...

On the first day his psych professor begins a perception exercise by telling the students to close their eyes and feel around for an object, then describe the object and tell her what it is.
First she calls on Kyle who says "I feel something big round and bumpy. It's a globe!"
The professor says "Good Kyle! I like the way you think.
Next she calls on Suzie who says "I feel something flat and coarse. It's paper!"
The professor says "Good Suzie! I like the way you think."
Finally she calls on Johnny. He sticks his hand in his pocket with a creepy smile and says "Teacher, I feel something round, hard, and it has a head on it.
The professor interrupts him shouting "Johnny, That's disgusting!"
He replies, "No teacher it's a quarter, but I like the way you think."

The little black box

A couple was married for 23 years and were very open and honest with each other. The only exception to this was the woman made her husband promise to never look in her little black box.
One evening he could no longer fend off his curiosity, he opened the box. To his surprise he found 1 quarter and 298 dollars.
Later that night, when his wife arrived at home, he told her, "I'm sorry honey, I couldn't resist, I looked in your little black box. But I don't understand, what is the quarter for?"
She responded hesitantly, "Well.. the quarter represents the number of times that I cheated on you."
After a sudden outburst the man finally calmed himself down, "Well I still love you and want to work this out, one time in 23 years isn't that bad. By the way, what is the $298 dollars all about?"
Casually she said, "Well I kept running out of room to put the quarters"

Mathematician and engineer in the desert..

An airplane crashed in the middle of the Sahara, and an engineer and mathematician are the only survivors. They start walking and after a couple of days they are near death. An angel comes down and says "I am your guardian angel, and I am going to give you a chance to live. I am going to put cases of water a mile away. But here's the catch...you have to go half way to the water and stop, half way and stop all the way to the water." The two say "Oh thank you, thank you angel!" and walk a half mile and stop, then a quarter mile and stop. Finally, they are 20 steps away, then 10, until they are taking baby steps. The mathematician suddenly shouts in frustration "this is all a cruel joke! We will never actually reach the water! We are going to die!!" The engineer says "Relax d**..., we're close enough already..", and he reaches down and grabs a bottle.

It was a particularly tough football game, and nerves were on edge.


The home team had been the victim of three or four close calls, and they were now trailing the visitors by a touch-down and a field goal.
When the official called yet another close one in the visitors' favor, the home quarterback blew his top.
How many times can you do this to us in a single game?" he screamed.
"You were wrong on the out-of-bounds, you were wrong on that last first down, and you missed an i**... tackle in the first quarter."
The official just stared.
The quarterback seethed, but he suppressed the language that might get him tossed from the game.
"What it comes down to," he bellowed, "is that you STINK!"
The official stared a few more seconds.
Then he bent down, picked up the ball, paced off 15 yards, and put the ball down.
He turned to face the steaming quarterback.
The official finally replied, "And how do I smell from here?"


Make fun with this list of one liners, jokes and riddles. Each joke is crafted with thought and creativity, delivering punchlines that are unexpected and witty. The humor about quarter finals can easily lighten the mood and bring smiles to people's faces. This compilation of quarter finals puns is not just entertaining but also a testament to the art of joke-telling. The jokes in this list are designed to display different humor styles, ensuring that every reader at any age finds something entertaining. Constantly updated, they offer a source of fun that ensures one is always smiling !

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Jokes are a form of humor that often involves clever wordplay, puns or unexpected twists in a story. These are usually short narratives or anecdotes crafted with the intent of amusing its audience by ending in an unexpected or humorous punchline. Jokes are a universal form of entertainment that people of all ages like adults, teens, kids and toddlers can enjoy. JokoJokes' FAQ section has answers to questions you may have!

The impact of these quarter finals jokes can be both social and psychological. They can help to ease tensions, create bonds between people, and even improve overall mental health. The success of a joke often relies on the delivery, timing, and audience. Jokes can be used in various settings, from social gatherings to professional presentations, and are often employed to lighten the mood or enhance a story.