Quart Jokes
43 quart jokes and hilarious quart puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about quart that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Quart Short Jokes
Short quart jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The quart humour may include short quad jokes also.
- Americans will never switch to the metric system It keeps getting struck down by the Supreme Quart.
- Inspired by a recent ELI5: "Why is milk measured in gallons and soda in litres", I present this oldie... Q: What comes in quarts?
.
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A: Elephants - As the programmer was going to the store his wife called out We need a quart of milk and if they have eggs bring me back a dozen. He returns with 3 gallons of milk and says: "They had eggs."
- Q: Why don't blondes like to make Kool-Aid?
A: They can't fit 8 quarts of water in that tiny little packet. - Q: Why don't blondes like to make Kool-Aid?
A: They can't fit 8 quarts of water in that tiny little packet. - My trans am stopped running this morning.. anyone know where I can get a quart of gender fluid?
- Milk jug cop pulls over a speeding milk jug. Speeding milk jug says: "I'll see you in quart!"
- Q: Why don't blondes like to make Kool-Aid?
A: They can't fit 8 quarts of water in that tiny little packet. - Someone told this at a Disney campground. What's large, gray, and comes in quarts?
An Elephant. - How much l**... should you buy to prepare to have s**... with a McDonald's fry cook with a cheddar f**...? About a quart to pound her with cheese.
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Quart One Liners
Which quart one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with quart? I can suggest the ones about gallon and fours.
- What do you call two pint of strict rules? A quart of law
- What is grey and comes in quarts? An elephant
- What's gray and comes in quarts? Elephants.
- Where do criminals go when they're arrested for possession of 32 ounces? The quart room
- Why can't you purchase minerals by the gallon? They only come in quarts(z)
- The last thing my grandfather told me was Quarts! Litres! Gallons! That spoke volumes.
- Where do pints go to settle their legal troubles? The Supreme Quart
- Where does a trial over two pints of beer take place? An appellate quart
- What's white and comes in quarts? An elephant.
- How are elephants like cream? They both come in quarts.
- What's gray and comes in quarts? According to my mom, my new stepdad
- What do elephants and ice cream have in common? They both come in quarts...
- What do you get when a Native American c**... a quart of Mobile 1? A well-oiled i**....
Unearthly Funniest Quart Jokes to Tickle Your Sides
What funny jokes about quart you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean quantum jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make quart pranks.
Two guys were in an English pub.
They called the publican over to settle an argument.
"Are there two pints in a quart or four?" asked one.
"There are two pints in a quart" confirmed the publican.
They moved back along the bar and soon the barmaid asked for their order.
"Two pints miss, and they are on the house."
The barmaid doubted that her boss would be so generous, so one of the guys called out to the publican at the other end of the bar, "You did say two pints, didn't you?"
"That's right," he called back, "two pints."
There are 4 quarters in the Superbowl
And that's why they brought out 50 Cent at halftime.
If you had a quarter," quizzed the teacher," and you asked your father for another dollar and fifty cents, how much money would you have?"
One quarter." answered little Johnny.
You don't know your arithmetic!" snapped the teacher shaking her head.
Little Johnny shook his head too, "You don't know my dad!"
A quarter acre of undeveloped land may not seem like much to some people,
But to me it's a lot.
Before I got married I was in a store paying for groceries.
I had a quart of milk, a half dozen eggs and a TV dinner. The cashier looks at me with a smile and says You MUST be single!
I said Why do you say that?
And she said Because your so fu$king ugly!
If I had a quarter for every existing gender,
I'd have $0.50 and a bunch of counterfeits
I was going to be a quarterback for Halloween at work...
...but my boss said we couldn't be anything offensive.
If I had a quarter for every time a homeless person asked me for change
I still wouldn't give him any
Quarters and nickels fall from the sky...
Me: what is this?
Climate: change.
Quartz countertops are very unappreciated
Most people take them for granite
A young tourist was attempting to sneak a quart of tequila...
...back from Mexico when the border guard stopped him and asked what was in the bottle.
"Holy water from the shrine of the v**... Mary" replied the man.
The border guard opened the bottle, took a sip exclaimed , "This is tequila"
"My heavens!" Gasped the man. "Another miracle!"
Innocent
Drunken Billy was arrested for selling home-stilled whiskey. His lawyer put him on the stand and asked the jurors to look carefully at his client. Now, Ladies and Gentleman of the jury, concluded the lawyer, you've looked carefully at the defendant. Can you sit there in the jury and honestly believe that if my client had a quart of whiskey he would sell it? He was acquitted.
Being a quartet, why was the group named "Boyz II Men?"
Because "Boyz 4 Men" would have drawn a whole different sort of crowd...
What did the quartmaster say to the bowyer when the bowyer informed him that he was out of wood for his longbows?
That sounds like a yew problem
A guy approaches the cute cashier at the grocery store...
His basket contains a bag of Doritos, a quart of milk, and one TV dinner.
The cashier looks up and says, "You're single, aren't you?"
"Yeah, how'd you know?"
"Cuz your ugly."
How many Quarterbacks does it take to win the National Championship?
Tua them.
So I won a grand prize at a local trivia game.
They went up to me and said, Congrats! You've won
a 1 British dollar Sandwich that compresses 1/4 gallons worth of 25c coins!
And I said, So a 1 pound quart quarter pounder quarter pounder?
How does a quarterback discipline his kids?
Intentional Grounding
Why didn't the quarter roll down the hill with the nickle?
Because it had more cents
Sometimes, like a quarterback, you have to make tough calls.
You want to make a play with the tight end but have to end up throwing to the wide receiver.
You should always keep a few quarters in your pocket, you never know when you'll need them...
It's just common cents.
If I had a quarter
for every woman I made love to Id have 45 cents.
How many quarters does it take to play the Lor of the Rings pinball game?
None...it just takes Tolkiens
