Quantum Jokes

Funniest Quantum Short Jokes

Short quantum jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The quantum humour may include short quark jokes also.

1. A man calls quantum IT support and complains that his quantum computer isn't working. Quantum IT support: "Have you tried turning it off and on at the same time?"
2. Schrodinger's cat was meant to prove how dumb quantum states are, yet it's widely used to advocate and explain it. I bet he's rolling in his grave... and not
3. I discovered that my socks exhibit quantum entanglement. As soon as I put on my left sock, the other sock immediately becomes the right sock, and vice versa, regardless of the distance between them.
4. Did you hear about the Large Hadron Collider going down? They are gonna have to bring in a quantum mechanic.
5. I saw two lesbian quantum physicists in a super position. It was a double-slit experiment.
6. I can't wait for the next Quantum Physicist triathlon. I'm going to stand beside the bikes and yell out their speeds. They'll get so lost they'll end back at the starting line.
7. What message does a quantum computer have when you view an image? "Do you want to save changes?"
8. I have a quantum mechanic... He both repairs and doesn't repair my car at the same time, and I can never be certain of what the charge will be.
9. I could explain to you quantum physics and you wouldn't understand a thing. Not because it's hard but because I'm bad at explaining.
10. Why are quantum physicists such bad lovers? When they find the position, they can't find the momentum. And if they do find the momentum, then they can't find the position.

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Quantum One Liners

Which quantum one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with quantum? I can suggest the ones about photon and atomic.

1. Are quantum computers going to change our world? Yes and no.
2. Why did the quantum physicist have such toned abs? Because they planck constant.
3. What kind of Mechanics fix and break your car at the same time? Quantum Mechanics.
4. Where does an atom go when it breaks down? A quantum mechanic.
   lel
5. What does the quantum duck say? Quark Quark
6. Who do you call to fix an atom? A quantum mechanic
7. There's a criminal on the loose in the State of Quantum. Wanted dead and alive.
8. Can a quantum computer run Crysis? yes and no
9. What did the subatomic quantum pirate say to the theoretical physicist? Walk the Planck
10. The secret of quantum teleportation is simple... ...but it's a secret.
11. What's a quantum physicist's favorite trend? Plancking.
12. I had a really small problem with my car so I took it to a quantum mechanic
13. What will happen if you're captured by quantum pirates? You'll have to walk the Planck!
14. All the atoms go to the bar Quantum Accelerator Why? Because it's a smashing time
15. Are you afraid of quantum mechanics ? Dont worry, it's gonna be Feynman.

Quantum Mechanics Jokes

Here is a list of funny quantum mechanics jokes and even better quantum mechanics puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• I was going to tell a joke about quantum mechanics but even though its funny, it's also unfunny at the same time.
• What do you call someone who fixes tiny cars? A quantum mechanic
• Not looking forward to one day having to buy a Quantum Laptop Computer... I *still* haven't even finished paying the last bill from my Quantum Mechanic!
• Where did the lazy quantum mechanics student say his project was in a box
• Standing behind a lady at Home Depot. Heard her ask for suggestions for tools to buy her grandson who was studying to be a quantum mechanic.
• Knowing quantum mechanics is both a blessing and a curse. OC, what do you think?
• Cats probably like boxes because of quantum mechanics. Could be getting into a box really makes them feel alive. Who knows?
• What kind of Mechanic can fix any vehicle at any place in the universe and at any point in time? A Quantum Mechanic
• In accordance to the Heisenberg's Uncertainty Principle of Quantum Mechanics, we may already be in love right now.
• Q. Why is quantum mechanics is the original "original hipster"?
  A. It described the universe before it was cool.

Quantum Physicist Jokes

Here is a list of funny quantum physicist jokes and even better quantum physicist puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• Some quantum physicists play twister at a party Later that day, one of them spontaneously flattens and three seconds later the other is hit by a car: they were still entangled.
• A man asked a quantum physicist what his opinion on Quantum Superpositions was. He replied, "Ah well, I'm neither here nor there."
• What do you call a Quantum Physicist's signature? A wave function.
• Why are quantum physicists bad lovers? When they find the position, they can't find the momentum. When they find the momentum, they can't find the position.
• What does a quantum physicist tell their toddler who keeps asking "Why" over and over? "Because I saw so."
• What do you call a quantum physicist's hair style? Schrödinger's cut
• What was the Quantum Physicists reason for leaving her partner? She just needed some time and space.
• I might become a quantum physicist... But that's just a possibility.
• What do quantum physicists do when life gives them lemons? Everything

Quantum Computers Jokes

Here is a list of funny quantum computers jokes and even better quantum computers puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• Why do quantum computers make terrible community leaders? Because you can never be sure of their true values.
• I refuse to accept non-binary Quantum computers are expressly forbidden in this house.
  (Everyone I know cringed, so I figured yall may like it.)
• I work at IBM as a quantum computer developer and last night i hooked up with a gender studies graduate. we had nothing in common,
  but eventually we bonded over our mutual hatred for binary systems.
• The journalist asked, "Excuse me, is it true that quantum computing could spell the end of civilization as we know it?" The scientist replied:
  "Yes ... and no. It's a bit uncertain."
• I just lost my quantum computer! I checked to see if it was on, and now I don't know where it is...
• I'm not happy with my new Quantum Computer Every time I try to solve a problem it collapses
• Why are colleges starting to teach quantum computing? When professors try to explain binary states, the students tell them to go educate themselves.
• I own a quantum computer. When I'm looking at it, things do not load. When I'm not, they instantly do so.
• Why do people in tumblr like quantum computing? Because it's non binary
• Quantum Computers are rubbish When you want a result they collapse

Quantum Physics Jokes

Here is a list of funny quantum physics jokes and even better quantum physics puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• Why is quantum physics so much harder than regular physics? Because in regular physics, if something can go wrong, it will.
  But in quantum physics, if something *could* go wrong, it will.
• Quantum Physics jokes I don't always make jokes about Quantum Physics, but when I do, I don't
• I wanted to make a joke about quantum physics, but I wasn't sure if I should. So I did and didn't.
• I was watching a really good documentary about Quantum physics the other day ​
  But I decided to stop watching in case I affected the outcome
• What's the most common question in Quantum Physics? I don't know
• I did terribly in my quantum physics class, but still got an "A" and I also got an "F"
  I'm not opening my report card.
• Quantum physics has its ups and downs But it all quarks out in the end
• My friend thinks the Canadian prime minister does not know quantum physics. I know it's trudeau.
• What's the opposite of quantum physics? Logic.
  (If you don't like physics jokes, just keep movin')
  ...(if you don't like math jokes, trust me, sometimes it makes a difference).
• "What are you reading?" "Quantum physics"
  "And why are you holding the book upside down?"
  "Doesn't make any difference"

Witty Quantum Jokes for Laughter-Filled Fun with Friends

What funny jokes about quantum you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean subatomic jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make quantum pranks.