Quality Jokes

161 quality jokes and hilarious quality puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about quality that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Are you looking for the best jokes to make your colleagues, executives, and friends laugh? Look no further. This article provides a selection of quality jokes that are sure to have everyone rolling with laughter. Learn more about ensuring quality assurance, the differences between quality street, quantity and integrity, and explore quality management and improvement.

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jokes about quality

Best Short Quality Jokes

Short quality puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The quality humour may include short quantity jokes also.

  1. Why does Michael J. fox make the best milkshakes? Because he uses only the highest-quality ingredients.
  2. What's a quality you look for in a good lawyer? Lie-ability
    (Just getting started in comedy and want to test a few of my jokes here).
  3. I have qualities of both Albert Einstein and Arnold Schwarzenegger Body of Einstein, brain of Schwarzenegger
  4. How many Germans does it take to change a light bulb? None. German light bulbs are quality products.
  5. What do you call the facility where they make lower quality, but still acceptable, goods? The satisfactory.
  6. Why are vegan pick-up lines of higher quality than non-vegan pick-up lines? Because they can't be cheesy!
  7. I let some of my friends use my high quality printer from Spain. When I told them where it was from, they all gasped in shock. Because no-one expects the Spanish ink precision!
  8. how come Michael J. Fox can make such good milkshakes? because he is rich and can afford high quality ingredients!..
  9. After recently getting into dating apps I came to the conclusion that Tinder is a lot like Little Caesars... if you want it hot and ready, you're gonna have to take a hit on quality
  10. They say German durability and build quality is unmatched, especially for appliances such as ovens. How did they achieve such quality? They tested their ovens 6 million times.
Quality joke, They say German durability and build quality is unmatched, especially for appliances such as ovens.

Make fun with this list of one liners, jokes and riddles. Each joke is crafted with thought and creativity, delivering punchlines that are unexpected and witty. The humor about quality can easily lighten the mood and bring smiles to people's faces. This compilation of quality puns is not just entertaining but also a testament to the art of joke-telling. The jokes in this list are designed to display different humor styles, ensuring that every reader at any age finds something entertaining. Constantly updated, they offer a source of fun that ensures one is always smiling !

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Quality One Liners

Which quality one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with quality? I can suggest the ones about grade and measurement.

  1. How do you measure the quality of a dadjoke? With a sighsmograph
  2. The ladies call me subway. Because I have poor quality meat and lie about being 6 inches.
  3. High Quality Poem Error 404
    Your Haiku could not be found
    Try again later
  4. My jokes are like my girlfriends. Quantity over quality.
  5. Three unwritten rules to quality shitposting 1.
  6. What do you call a factory that produces quality goods? A satisfactory
  7. High quality ads can be really bad for you. They can cause ADHD.
  8. Why can't you find good quality clothing on the Iron Islands? They do not sew
  9. What do you call a factory that makes great quality products? A satisfactory
  10. Females call me Little Ceasar Cause I got crazy bread and low quality meat.
  11. Low quality paper Is tearable.
  12. How do you tell a transgender from a real woman? The quality of the sandwich.
  13. Self-deprecating humor... It's my worst quality.
  14. The camera quality of the Mars rover is so good That you could say it's out of this world
  15. What do you call a low-quality golf course? Subpar.

Better Quality Jokes

Here is a list of funny better quality jokes and even better better quality puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Donald Trump's first summit with Kim Jong-un was only to get feedback about the quality of his tweets. Who better to ask than the Supreme Reader?
  • Is Bose really better quality? Or is it just a stereo type?
  • The doctor recommended cutting back on alcohol for a better quality of life. Then he saw my wife who had come to pick me up! He said, "You can consume all the drinks you want, it's healthy."
  • After the poor quality of the front page lately This new algorithm better be so good I can read about news before it happens
  • I think quality is better than quantity... unless you're a cyclops.
  • Marital trust issues "So you trusted your wife enough to have your child but not enough to have her in your bank?"
    "I trusted **t**...** to make a better quality c**..."
  • LPT: Be wary of catching h**... when dining at All You Can Eat Crab spots.. I mean, $20 is a great deal but I need to start hiring better quality prostitutes.

Quality Over Quantity Jokes

Here is a list of funny quality over quantity jokes and even better quality over quantity puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Dark: Whats one thing you can do in a vast quantity without bothering with the quality? Genocide
  • Majority rules? Whatever happened to; quality not quantity?
  • I read the Archer's Handbook recently... "When it comes to arrows, quality is preferable to quantity. A well-made arrow goes a long way".
  • "Quality is more important than quantity" Said the German tanks to the US tanks during WW2
  • When it comes to s**..., it's all about quality over quantity. That's why I'm always on top of my wife.

Quality Assurance Jokes

Here is a list of funny quality assurance jokes and even better quality assurance puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • I work as quality assurance at a shopping cart factory. When a I see a cart without wheels yet, I usually fix it, but sometimes I let it slide.
  • A Quality Assurance guy comes into a bar.. he orders 1 beer.
    he orders no beer.
    he orders 999999 beers.
    he orders asfafdaghhjkh.
    he orders a bar.
  • When "Tickle Me Elmo" was a big deal, there had to be a quality assurance department... Imagine, a whole group of people whose job was to test tickles.
  • What made the quality assurance supervisor in an Amazon warehouse laugh? this

Quality Engineer Jokes

Here is a list of funny quality engineer jokes and even better quality engineer puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • What's the difference between a quality microwave and someone who knows a quality search engine when they see it? the microwave goes Bing.
Quality joke, What's the difference between a quality microwave and someone who knows a quality search engine when

Laughter Quality Jokes for Everyone for Fun and Frivolity

What funny jokes about quality you can tell and make people laugh? One example I can give are clean worthy jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help make quality prank.

Slogan idea for a Braille company

Loads of high quality Braille products,
many of which you've never seen before!

What is a doctor's most important quality?


I like my women like quality agronomy soil...

..good p**... to 8", bare surface, and minimal crust.

I was at a store and I saw some yogurt in a big bag with a spout...

I guess that you could say the yogurt was pour quality

So we all know about Gandhi right?

Well Gandhi as well know was a very important person who in recent times has taken on a mystic quality to some. He often fasted for long periods of time making him rather weak and fragile, he went barefoot for long periods of time and so it's fair to assume he built up lots and lots of callouses and he was reported at one point to have very bad breath because of a gum disease. This all means he was a...
Super Calloused Fragile Mystic Hexed By Halitosis

Good Sound

An mp3 file was relaxing on his couch at home, when his wife comes up to him.
Wife: "Honey, could you explain this charge for $600?"
Mp3: "Oh, thats for a new set of headphones."
Wife: "For $600??? How could you spend that much?"
Mp3: "But the sound quality is really good!"
Mp3 shrugs his shoulders. "What can I say? I'm an audiophile"

Phil Spector's brother

I met Phil Spector's brother Crispin the other day. He's head of quality control at Walkers.

King Arthur wasn't pleased with the quality of his new table.

The carpenter had cut some corners.

High quality poem

Error 404
Your haiku could not be found
Please try again

My mom made some french fries for you guys...

but you were d**... about it because they were potato quality.

Did you hear that Tote's have brought out a line of spherical candies of suprisingly high quality?

They're totes amazeballs.

Every time you talk to your wife, you should remember that

'This conversation will be recorded for quality and training purposes.'

Trevor Noah needs to go back to Africa

and spend some quality time with his family.

It's important that, no matter where you are in life, you never forget who you are and where you came from.

With the concerns over water quality at the upcoming Rio Olympic games, I think we should ask, what would Jesus do?

Walk on water, he ain't swimming in that filth.

I hate Asian drivers

They just do not stand up to the quality of golf clubs I can find in America.

I just got a photo from a speeding camera through the mail...

I just got a photo from a speeding camera through the mail. I sent it right back – way too expensive and really bad quality.

How was the sound quality of Shrek's musical keyboard?

Nothing special, it was just MIDI-Ogre

People tell me that you shouldn't buy bootleg products because the quality isn't very good...

I disagree. I recently purchased a copy of the black keys newest album from a guy on the street. The quality of their #1 hit "Pyrite on the Ceiling" was superb.

The most important quality for Americas leadership.

America needs a hero who Ken Bone.

What quality does Elon Musk look for in a woman?

He just wants her to be down to Mars

Want to hear a quality joke about knives?

On second thought, I can't tell it. It's too edgy

Sweatshops are the worst

children s**... at quality control.

What's do p**... and pusssy have in common?

You can tell the quality if you can smell it across the room.

LPT: How to stop procrastinating

Step one: Prepare to do whatever it is that you need to do
Step two: Do it tomorrow.
This frees you from the work you would have done grudgingly, which decreases the quality anyway.

My wife wanted to show me some new tights.

*Wife:* These are really nice tights! Super high quality. They'll never run!
*Me:* Well not without legs in them first.

What do you call a British guy's mom who does everything to the lowest quality?


Wow, the CIA microwave camera program has really come a long way...

They've gone from photos of potato quality to quality photos of potatoes.

Did you hear the low quality pun about the low quality parchment?

It's tearable.

How many germans does it take to change a lightbulb?

German lightbulbs are very high quality and never break.

Milkin' it.

I walked into the living room to see my wife breast feeding our son.
Being curious, I asked: "how long are you going to keep doing this, honey? I mean at what age is it too old for him?"
"Well, I think it's necessary to have quality bonding time between mother and child, and usually societal norms dictate this age aught to be ..."
I got impatient again: "Shut up son, i was talking to your mother. "

It's spring in New England, so I bought a high quality bug zapper to help deal with all those pests, and I woke up to protests outside my house.

# Blackfliesmatter

I'm strongly opposed to child labour

Because children really lack a sense of quality

I just got a photo from a speeding camera through the mail. I sent it right back...

Really bad quality and way too expensive.

Two employees are having a conversation about quality control

Employee 1: We need to stop testing our products on animals.

Employee 2: Why? Other shampoo companies do it all the time.

Employee 1: Cool. But we make hammers.

Former figure skater Michelle Kwan was caught by paparazzi, who took an unfortunate down-blouse pic.

Nevertheless, it's a perfect example of both quality and Kwan t**....

I made a movie about farm life…

…but the film quality was too grainy and the plot too corny…

Quality control at a Whack-a-Mole factory

...Is either hit or miss

A woman tells her husband..

We should spend quality time this weekend.
The husband replies "great! See you next week!"

The worst thing I learned from being adopted is....

i**... loses that 'taboo' quality

The similarities between alcohol and girls...

... Both have the quality of giving pleasure at night and headache in the morning.

I'm not sure why people were so surprised by the quality of The Witcher 3

It's a well known fact that games benefit from a lot of polish.

Soviet Economics

1980s. Soviet Economy minister is making speech at Communist Party session:
- According to latest statistics, our incomes rose 20%, our quality of life rose 30% and our buying economic power rose 40%
From the audience: That's great that YOURS did, but what about OURS??

I once had a job in quality control at a toy factory.

I had to give Elmo two test tickles.

Most of the alligator shoes sold are of low quality, so I went to the bayou to get my own

28 gators later and none of them are wearing any shoes

What did my friend in North Korea say about the living quality?

I can't complain!

I used to be a quality checker at the m&m factory

You would not believe the amount of w's I had to throw out every day

My friends all say my worst quality is being self-deprecating.

I really don't get where they come from.
I have so, so many worse qualities.

'Will you kids stop making that awful racket!'

Said the quality control officer at the sporting goods factory.

What is the greatest quality to look for in a woman?


"Adam Ruins Everything"

...including quality television programming

OC from my 13 year old: I heard the quality of the pastries in New Orleans has gone down.

They've been yay before, but not anymore.

I was confused as to why my interviewer gave me a blank stare when I told her my best quality was my flexibility..

I guess she's never seen a man put both his legs behind his head before.

What positive quality about someone also tells you something negative about them?

Their h**... test

People are often really surprised by the quality of tattoos available in Spain.

No one expects the Spanish ink precision.

What do you call good quality yoghurt?

Highly cultured milk......

Johnny Carson Classic

The air quality in Los Angeles is so bad...
How bad is it?
When locals want to breathe fresh air, they s**... the air out of tires from cars with out-of-state license plates.

I want a job as a quality controller in a mirror factory.

It's a job I could really see myself doing.

Have you heard that soon there's gonna be a restaurant on the moon??

Well, they say there's gonna be quality food.. Can't say much about the atmosphere though..

For-profit healthcare is a great system that benefits patients and ensures higher quality care.


I went to subway and ordered a sandwich...

It was of average quality, I'd call it *Subpar*.

What is the last step of quality control at the Tickle-me-Elmo factory?

The test-tickles!

I was pulled over and the officer told me he was going to test the drugs he found in my car

I told him thank you, if it's not of the highest quality I don't want it

Quality joke, I was pulled over and the officer told me he was going to test the drugs he found in my car

Jokes are a form of humor that often involves clever wordplay, puns or unexpected twists in a story. These are usually short narratives or anecdotes crafted with the intent of amusing its audience by ending in an unexpected or humorous punchline. Jokes are a universal form of entertainment that people of all ages like adults, teens, kids and toddlers can enjoy. JokoJokes' FAQ section has answers to questions you may have!

The impact of these quality jokes can be both social and psychological. They can help to ease tensions, create bonds between people, and even improve overall mental health. The success of a joke often relies on the delivery, timing, and audience. Jokes can be used in various settings, from social gatherings to professional presentations, and are often employed to lighten the mood or enhance a story.