Quality Engineer Jokes
5 quality engineer jokes and hilarious quality engineer puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about quality engineer that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Quality Engineer Funny Jokes to Tell Your Friends and Kids.
What is a good quality engineer joke to make people laugh? Check out this list of funny stories that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth.
Quality assurance engineer walks into a bar...
He orders 1 beer.
Then he orders 2 beers.
Then he orders 9999999 beers.
Then he orders -1 beer.
Then he orders a dragon.
Then he asks to buy a jdhdjsbeh
Another customer walks in, asks where the bathroom is. The bar collapses and kills everyone inside
What's the difference between a quality microwave and someone who knows a quality search engine when they see it?
the microwave goes Bing.
A favorite joke of the Swiss (although any country combo will do)
A group of Austrians, embarrassed of the Swiss engineers, approach them with a request to build a bridge in the Sahara. "We want to build the most beautiful bridge, with perfect precision, workmanship, and quality to last a thousand years".
The Swiss Engineers, intrigued by the challenge, go to work. Six months later, they present the Austrians with their timeless bridge in all its glory!
"Hahaha, you dumb Swiss, there's no water in the Sahara, we made you build a useless bridge", teased the Austrians with great fervour. "Now tear it down"
Reply the Swiss engineers: "We would, but there's a group of Austrians fishing off it".
manager told me this one at dinner last weekend
Working in the field of engineering, things can get pretty dull...so here it goes.
There once was a man, lets call him John, who applied for a position at Tyco to manufacture Tickle-me Elmos. He figured he would make the cut as he knew the hiring manager. John landed the job and was told he'd be needed right away.
John reports to duty the next day and is immediately greeted by a man storming out of the building who obviously just got fired. On his way out he tells the John "Watch out, sales are down...you might be next."
Once John reports to his manager(friend), he inquires about sales being down to which the manager responds, "Yes indeed, sales are down because quality has depreciated." John asks why and the manager says, "People aren't testing the Elmo dolls seriously, you need two test tickles not just one"
Budgeting costs
The Italian government was getting ready to invest in a new software that would help them become more efficient. Three companies put bids forth and they turned out to be from different countries: China, Germany and Russia.
The Chinese bid was $1 million, which was quite cheap. The German bid was for $2 million. So, the project director brings them in, to question them why there was such substantial difference. The Germans explained that German engineering produces higher quality products, unlike the Chinese who create buggy software.
The Russians had bid $3 million. Well, they got brought in as well, and were told that the Chinese had bid $1 million and the Germans $2 million, and asked why was their bid so much more.
The Russian representative says: It's $1 million for you, $1 million for us and $1 million for the Chinese.
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