The Best 13 Qualifications Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Qualifications jokes. There are some qualifications interview jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these qualifications apprenticeship puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Qualifications Jokes and Puns

A guy applies for a job with the L.A.P.D.

Inspector says "These are the best qualifications I've ever seen, just one more test before you get the job.
Take this gun, go out and shoot six black guys and a rabbit."

Guy replies "Why the rabbit?"

Inspector says "Fantastic attitude, you've got the job!"

A guy applies for a job with the Chicago Police Department

He has an impressive resume, gives the best answers to the interview questions, and is very enthusiastic about the job.

"Your qualifications are impressive" says the police chief. "Here's the final test. Take this gun, go out, and shoot ten black guys and a clown?"

The man asks, "why the clown?"

The police chief replies, "Fantastic attitude, you're hired!"

"So, what are your qualifications?"

"I'd say my biggest weakness is my listening skills"

Qualifications joke, "So, what are your qualifications?"

A woman posts an ad in the news paper that looks like this...

'Looking for man with these qualifications; won't beat me up; or run away from me and is great in bed.'

She got lots of phone calls replying to her ad but met someone perfect at her door one day. The man she met said, "Hi, I'm Bob. I have no arms so I won't beat you up and no legs so I won't run away."

So the lady says, "What makes you think you are great in bed?"

Bob replies, "I rang the door bell didn't I?"

Newspaper ad - RICH WIDOW LOOKING FOR MAN TO SHARE LIFE AND FORTUNE WITH THE FOLLOWING QUALIFICATIONS:

1. WON'T BEAT ME UP
2. WON'T RUN AWAY
3. HAS TO BE GREAT IN BED

For several months, her phone rang off the hook, her doorbell was ringing constantly, she received tons of mail...all to no avail. None of the men seemed to meet her qualifications.

Then one day the doorbell rang yet again. She opened the door to find a man, with no arms and no legs, lying on the welcome mat. Perplexed, she asked, "Who are you and what do you want?"

"Hi," said the man "Your search is over, for I am the man of your dreams. I've got no arms, so I can't beat you up and I've got no legs, so I can't run away."

The old woman asked, "What makes you think you're so great in bed?"

To which he replied, "I rang the doorbell, didn't I?"


Volta and Ampere interview for the same job.

After the interviews, the managers concur - although Ampere's qualifications are current, Volta is the only one who has potential.

A guy applies for a job at the L.A.P.D.

The inspector says "These are the best qualifications I've ever seen! Just one more thing: take this gun and shoot 6 black men and a rabbit."

"Why the rabbit?" the man replies.

"Good attitude, you've got the job!"

Qualifications joke, A guy applies for a job at the L.A.P.D.

Woman and the news paper( kinda short)

A woman places an ad in the local newspaper. Looking for a man with three qualifications: won't beat me up, won't run away from me, and is great in bed. Two days later her doorbell rings. Hi, I'm Tim. I have no arms so I won't beat you, and no legs so I won't run away. What makes you think you are great in bed? the woman retorts. Tim replies, I rang the doorbell, didn't I?

I've got all the qualifications you need to be a taxi driver.

I can't speak English and I can't drive.

What qualifications so you have for working with kids?

Well, I have a lot of hands-on experience.

Looking for a relationship is like finding a new job...

People are way more interested when you already have one already and want 5+ years experience with a laundry list of impossible qualifications for an entry level position.

You can explore qualifications qualify reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean qualifications qualification dad jokes. There are also qualifications puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


Despite having no qualifications for such a position, we hired an impoverished prostitute to become our son's math tutor.

It's the thot that counts.

Why didn't the elephant get the job he wanted?

His qualifications were completely irrelephant.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the qualifications criteria jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working qualifications resume piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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