Python Snake Jokes
22 python snake jokes and hilarious python snake puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about python snake that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Python Snake Short Jokes
Short python snake jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The python snake humour may include short solid snake jokes also.
- I advertised a python for sale in the paper a man rang up and said What size is it?
I replied It's quite big
How many feet? he asked,
None, it's a snake... - I was trying to sell my pet python today Guy asked: is it big?
I said: Huge!
He said: How many feet?
I said: None - it's a snake! - Did you hear about the computer nerd who was eaten alive by a giant snake? Now he's programming in python.
- A 3.14 meter long snake ! What do you call a 3.14 meter long snake ?
- a "Py"thon
What do you call a 43 kilometre long snake ?
- a marathon ! - What do corridors, snakes, and resistors have in common? Monty.
Monty Hall, Monty Python, Monty Oum. - What did the cannibal say when he came home and found his wife chopping up a python and a pygmy?
Oh no, not snake and pygmy pie again!
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Python Snake One Liners
Which python snake one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with python snake? I can suggest the ones about snake and python.
- What kinda snake has a lisp? A Mike Python
- What do you call a snake that weighs 3.14 tons? Python
- Why was the programer killed by a snake? He underestimated the speed of the python.
- What's a snakes favourite TV program ? Monty Python!
- If my girlfriend was a snake... She would be a python.
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Cuz she swallows! - What do baby pythons play with? Rattle-snakes.
Python Snake Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.
What funny jokes about python snake you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean venomous snake jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make python snake pranks.
A guy walks into a bar and orders a beer.
"I put an ad on Craigslist today trying to sell my pet python," he tells the bartender. "Is it big?" the bartender asks. "It's freakin' huge!" the guy replies. "How many feet?" the bartender asks. "None you idiot," the guy replies. "It's a snake."
A tourist is eaten by a python at the zoo.
Two tourists from the Czech republic are visiting New York. At the zoo, one leans forward, trying to get real close to the pythons. He falls down into the enclosure and is quickly swallowed whole.
Panicking, the other guy runs up to a caretaker and cries out for help. The caretaker asks him: "Which of these pythons ate your friend, the male or the female one?"
"That one! That one!", exclaims the Czech, pointing at the male snake, bloated with its stomach full. The caretaker runs up behind the satiated snake, cuts it open and pulls out ... a feeder pig.
"Oh no, it must have been the other one", yells the tourist. So the keeper cuts open the female snake, and sure enough, out comes the tourist.
In the end, the tourist could be revived, and miraculously, both snakes managed to live through the events, but there's still a lesson to be learned here: Never trust someone who tells you the Czech is in the male.
A man furiously approaches his neighbour and shouts, Where is your wife!?
Why? the neighbour asks. What did Anna do?
She tricked my wife into investing in a fake farm for giant snakes, the man yelled.
Anna conned her?
No. Burmese python.
I need to get a new friend
I've been trying to develop a website on my laptop but needed help as I only know basic coding. I asked my friend, a computer programmer, for advice and he told me to get Python
After about a week, the snake arrived. It then proceeded to wrap itself around the computer now it doesn't work at all. Seriously w**...? I should have just dumped coffee onto my keyboard because JavaScript is clearly better
Selling a python
p**... was selling his pet python on eBay.
Some bloke rang him up and asked, "Is it big?" p**... said, "Massive." The bloke said, "how many feet?" p**... says, "None, it's a snake ya fecking idiot!"