The Best 47 Python Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Python jokes. There are some python thon jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these python php puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Python Jokes and Puns

A little girl walks into a pet shop and asks, "Excuthe me, but do you thell baby bunnieth?".

The pet store owner smiles and says, "Why, yes, sweetheart! We sell all kinds of baby bunnies. Now... what kind of baby bunny would you like? Would you like a baby grey bunny? Or a baby white bunny? Or would you prefer a pretty brown bunny?"

The little girl replies, "I don't think my python weally gives a thit."

A tourist is eaten by a python at the zoo.

Two tourists from the Czech republic are visiting New York. At the zoo, one leans forward, trying to get real close to the pythons. He falls down into the enclosure and is quickly swallowed whole.

Panicking, the other guy runs up to a caretaker and cries out for help. The caretaker asks him: "Which of these pythons ate your friend, the male or the female one?"

"That one! That one!", exclaims the Czech, pointing at the male snake, bloated with its stomach full. The caretaker runs up behind the satiated snake, cuts it open and pulls out ... a feeder pig.

"Oh no, it must have been the other one", yells the tourist. So the keeper cuts open the female snake, and sure enough, out comes the tourist.

In the end, the tourist could be revived, and miraculously, both snakes managed to live through the events, but there's still a lesson to be learned here: Never trust someone who tells you the Czech is in the male.

I remember this from a Monty Python

"My dog has no nose!" Says one man. His friend asks "well how does he smell?" "Stinky!"

Python joke, I remember this from a Monty Python

Why did the python return his pants?

They were too constricting.


A little girl walks into a pet shop. She asks the owner for a bunny, to which he responds "what kind of bunny would you like? A cute black one, an adorable brown one or perhaps a sweet little white one?"

The girl looks at the owner and answers: "I don't think my python really cares..."

What were the favorite Linux text editors of 8 randomly selected Monty Python fans?

vim, vim, vim, vim, vim, vim, emacs, and vim.

Well, you know what Monty Python always say...

A man sees his friend looking rather melancholy and tries to cheer her up. After listening to her woes he says to her "Well, you know what Monty Python always say..."

She rolls her eyes "Always look on the bright side of life?"


Python joke, Well, you know what Monty Python always say...

What do you call Rowan Atkinson watching Monty Python?

A jellybean.

Selling a python

Paddy was selling his pet python on eBay.
Some bloke rang him up and asked, "Is it big?" Paddy said, "Massive." The bloke said, "how many feet?" Paddy says, "None, it's a snake ya fecking idiot!"

Why do some people think Python scripting is offensive?

Because white space matters. hehee

Spent two hours debugging my Python...

Turns out that pubic lice are difficult to get rid of.

You can explore python adder reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean python geek dad jokes. There are also python puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.

Why was the programer killed by a snake?

He underestimated the speed of the python.

Quoting Monty Python and the Holy Grail

is as easy as 1-2-5

When life gets you down, remember the immortal words of Monty Python.


You used to be the semicolon(;) in my life...

You used to be the semicolon(;) in my life!
Sorry but times have changed and I have python now...!

A 3.14 meter long snake !

What do you call a 3.14 meter long snake ?

- a "Py"thon

What do you call a 43 kilometre long snake ?

- a marathon !

Python joke, A 3.14 meter long snake !

Why do pythons live on land?

Because it's above C level.

Why did the python programmer run into the pole?

He couldn't C it.

Don't worry, i'll cout<<"myself";

I've been working on learning Python in my free time. Here's everything I know so far:


What did the Python say when he came out of his shell?

Print("Hello World!")

Based on a true story (programming, walks into a bar)

Two programmers walk into a bar. The Python programmer orders an orange juice. The C programmer gets a look of disgust and says "You're in a bar! You should order an alcoholic drink!" The Python programmer gets his juice, pulls out his wallet, and pays for his drink. The C programmer tells the bartender, "I want a hard whiskey, and put it on my tab." The Python programmer gets a look of disgust and shouts "Tab?!?"

My boss asked me why I don't like to code in Python.

I just find it too constricting.

I oppose all this sex on the television.

I mean, I keep falling off.

(credit to monty python)

A Python developer walks into a foobar...

not not
'Who's there?'

A mother asks her Python programmer son what he wants for Christmas...

He says "I'd like 1 bike please."

So off his mother goes to buy him a bike.

Christmas morning comes, and the boy has opened all of his presents.

"Where's my other bike?!" He screams,

"I asked for 1 you only got me 0?!"

What do you call a programming boxer?

Mike Python

I still remember the day my sister found out our neighbor's python isn't venomous.

She was crushed.

I had an idea for a Writing Prompt where there is an insane asylum full of people who think they are part of a Monty Python skit and quote the lines endlessly.

Someone told me that's called 'college'.

An infinite number of lemmings walk into a python

while True:

What's a snakes favourite TV program ?

Monty Python!

A guy walks into a bar and orders a beer.

"I put an ad on Craigslist today trying to sell my pet python," he tells the bartender. "Is it big?" the bartender asks. "It's freakin' huge!" the guy replies. "How many feet?" the bartender asks. "None you idiot," the guy replies. "It's a snake."

One of the Monty Python team has invented an unmanned aircraft that does sky-writing that's spelled the same backwards as forwards...

It's a Palin drone...

What kinda snake has a lisp?

A Mike Python

What Syntax do British Programmers Always Use in Python?


It was surprisingly easy to get a job at the zoo as a computer scientist

Probably because I am fluent in Python

The oldest laptop can be traced back to Adam and Eve

An Apple with very limited memory (1 Byte), single core and OS written in Python.

What do you call a snake that weighs 3.14 tons?


Did you know Programming Languages have Genders?

Almost all Programming Languages have a Gender, except the Non-Binary ones like Python

What's a Pirate's favorite programming language?


It's really readable and flexible, and has great scientific packages, so most people are pretty fond of it.

A little girl walks into a pet store...

A little girl walks into a pet store and approaches the clerk. "Im looking for a wabbit" she says.

The clerk, taken aback by how adorable this girl is, asks "Aww, well would you like a white wabbit, or a brown wabbit?"

The little girl replies "I dont think my python gives a thit"

A little girl walk into a pet shop...

A little girl walks into a pet shop and asks for a bunny. The worker says the fluffy white one or the fluffy brown one ? The girl then says, I don't think my python really cares.

Why do Python programmers have low self esteem?

They're constantly comparing their self to other.

What do you call a python which is exactly 3.14m long ?

A Ο€thon

What do a zoo owner and a Python data analyst have in common?

They both import pandas.

I was trying to sell my pet python today

Guy asked: is it big?

I said: Huge!

He said: How many feet?

I said: None - it's a snake!

Why do Python developers wear glasses?

Because they can't "C".

A man furiously approaches his neighbour and shouts, Where is your wife!?

Why? the neighbour asks. What did Anna do?

She tricked my wife into investing in a fake farm for giant snakes, the man yelled.

Anna conned her?

No. Burmese python.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the python reptile jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working python her piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes