Puzzling Blonde Jokes
70 puzzling blonde jokes and hilarious puzzling blonde puns to laugh out loud. Read blonde jokes about puzzling blonde that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Puzzling Blonde Short Jokes
Short puzzling blonde jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The puzzling blonde humour may include short quick blonde jokes also.
- Why did the Blonde feel so proud of herself for finishing a jigsaw puzzle in only six months? It said 2-4 years on the box.
- Two blonde girls are celebrating at a table... The waiter comes by and asks "What are you celebrating?"
They say "We finished this puzzle in only 6 months! And the box says from 2 to 4 years!" - A blonde walks into a bar yelling, "65 days!" A guy asks her, "What's in 65 days?"
The blonde replies, "I completed the puzzle in 65 days! The box said 2 to 4 years!" - Puzzling The blonde was so pleased with herself, she finished the jigsaw puzzle in 3 months! The box said 3\-5 years.
- Blonde girl got all exited after she finally completed a jigsaw puzzle after 3 years, I said why are you so excited? She said it says 5 to 8 years on the box...
- Q: How do you confuse a blonde?
A: Give her a box of corn flakes and tell her it's a jigsaw puzzle.
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Puzzling Blonde One Liners
Which puzzling blonde one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with puzzling blonde? I can suggest the ones about dumb blonde and smart blonde.
- A blonde finishes a puzzle . . . It could happen.
- Q: Why did the blonde return the puzzle?
A: It was broken. - Two blondes walked into a jigsaw puzzle store... Ouch
Hilarious Puzzling Blonde Jokes to Make Your Friends Roar with Laughter
What funny jokes about puzzling blonde you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean mean blonde jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make puzzling blonde pranks.
One day a brunette walked into a bar filled with blondes.
Everyone was chanting, "Fifty-one days! Fifty-one days!" Then two more blondes walked in and joined in chanting, "Fifty-one days! Fifty-one days!" Confused, the brunette asked blonde bartender, "Why is everyone chanting 'Fifty-one days'?" The bartender answered, "Our bar patrons over there finished a puzzle in only fifty-one days, even though the box said 'two to four years'!"
A blonde stormed up to the front desk of the library and with a screaming voice said, “I have a complaint!”
“How can i help you?” said the librarian looking up at her.
“I borrowed a book last week and it was horrible!”
Puzzled by her complain the librarian asked “What was wrong with it?”
“It had way too many characters and there was no plot!” said the blonde.
The librarian nodded and said, “Ahhh. So YOU must be the person who took our phone book."
A blond walks into a New York City bank...
A blonde walks into a bank in New York City and asks for the loan officer. She says she's going to Europe on business for two weeks and needs to borrow $5,000. The bank officer says the bank will need some kind of security for the loan, so the blonde hands over the keys to a new Rolls Royce. The car is parked on the street in front of the bank; she has the title, and everything checks out. The bank agrees to accept the car as collateral for the loan. The bank's president and its officers all enjoy a good laugh at the blonde for using a $250,000 Rolls as collateral against a $5,000 loan. An employee of the bank then drives the Rolls into the bank's underground garage and parks it there. Two weeks later, the blonde returns and repays the $5,000 and the interest, which comes to $15.41. The loan officer says, Miss, we are very happy to have had your business, and this transaction has worked out very nicely; but we are a little puzzled. We checked you out and found that you are a multimillionaire. What puzzles us is - why would you bother to borrow $5,000? The blond replies….. Where else in New York City can I park my car for two weeks for only $15.41 and expect it to be there when I return?
The jigsaw puzzle
A blonde called her boyfriend and said, "Please come over here and help me. I have a killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can't figure it out or how to get it started."
Her boyfriend asked, "What is it supposed to be when it's finished?"
The blonde said, "According to the picture on the box, it's a tiger."
Her boyfriend decided to go over and help with the puzzle. She let him in and showed him where she had the puzzle spread all over the table. He studied the pieces for a moment, then looked at the box, then turned to her and said, "First of all, no matter what we do, we're not going to be able to assemble these pieces into anything resembling a tiger.
He took her hand and said, "Second, I want you to relax. Let's have a nice cup of hot chocolate and then...", he sighed, "Let's put all these frosted flakes back in the box."
A blonde's jigsaw puzzle
A blonde calls her boyfriend and says, "Please come over here and help me.... I have a killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can't figure out how to get it started".
Her boyfriend asks, "What is it supposed to be when it's finished?".
The blonde says, "According to the picture on the box, it's a rooster".
Her boyfriend decides to go over and help with the puzzle. She lets him in and shows him where she has the puzzle spread all over the table. He studies the pieces for a moment, then looks at the box and then turns to her and says, "First of all, no matter what we do, we're not going to be able to assemble these pieces into anything resembling a rooster". He held her hand and said, "Second, I'd advise you to relax. Let's have a cup of coffee, then"....... he sighed and said, "Third... lets put all these Cornflakes back in the box"
So, a blonde, an asian, and an african american are at lunch at school
The blonde opens up her lunch box and sees a PB&J. She exclaims "If I get PB&J one more time I'm going to kill myself."
The asian girl opens her lunch box and sees rice. She says "If I get rice more time I'm going to kill myself."
The african american girl opens her lunch box and sees chicken. She goes "If I get chicken one more time, I'm going to kill myself."
The next day they're all at lunch and the same thing happens, only they all kill themselves once they've opened they're lunch box and see the same food.
The asian girls parents cry "If only we didn't pack her rice for lunch again!"
The african american girls parents cry "If only we didn't pack her chicken again!"
The blonde girls parents look puzzled and say "I don't know what her problem was, she packed her own lunch."
A blonde walks into a bank in New York City...
A blonde walks into a bank in New York City and asks for the loan officer. She says she's going to Europe on business for two weeks and needs to borrow $5,000. The bank officer says the bank will need some kind of security for the loan, so the blonde hands over the keys to a new Rolls Royce. The car is parked on the street in front of the bank; she has the title, and everything checks out. The bank agrees to accept the car as collateral for the loan.
The bank's president and its officers all enjoy a good laugh at the blonde for using a $250,000 Rolls as collateral against a $5,000 loan. An employee of the bank then drives the Rolls into the bank's underground garage and parks it there.
Two weeks later, the blonde returns and repays the $5,000 and the interest, which comes to $15.41. The loan officer says, "Miss, we are very happy to have had your business, and this transaction has worked out very nicely; but we are a little puzzled. We checked you out and found that you are a multimillionaire. What puzzles us is - why would you bother to borrow $5,000?" The blond replies....."Where else in New York City can I park my car for two weeks for only $15.41 and expect it to be there when I return?"
A blonde and a brunette bought a farm...
...and although the farm came stocked with a barn full of hay, some chickens, and a few horses, they only had one cow and needed a bull to raise more. They checked the newspaper listings and found a bull for sale a few hundred miles away.
The brunette bought a train ticket and took their remaining $50 to buy the bull. When she arrived, the seller refused any offers below $45, leaving the brunette without enough cash to get her and the bull home. She decided she would send a telegram to her friend to pick them up.
At the post office, the postman tells her a telegram will cost her $5 per word. Since she only has $5 left, she can only send one word to her friend. Thinking long and hard about what to send, she finally decides on "comfortable". The postman looks puzzled and asks, "Why comfortable?"
The brunette says, "My friend is blonde and reads really slowly. To her, it will say 'Come-for-ta-bull.'"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
You've Got Blonde
A man was in his front yard mowing grass when his attractive blonde neighbor came out of the house and went straight to the mailbox. She opened it then slammed it shut and stormed back into the house. A little later she came out of her house again, went to the mailbox and again opened it, and slammed it shut again. Angrily, back into the house she went.
As the man was getting ready to edge the lawn, she came out again, marched to the mailbox, opened it and then slammed it closed harder than ever.
Puzzled by her actions the man asked her, "Is something wrong?"
To which she replied, "There certainly is!"
My s**... computer keeps saying, "You've got mail!"
Gambling with Blondes
There was a blonde who was sitting next to a lawyer on an airplane. The lawyer was naturally bored, so he kept bugging the blonde to play a game of intelligence with him.
The blonde was reluctant, so the lawyer offered her 10 to 1 odds. He told
her that every time she could not answer his question, she owed him $5, but every time he could not answer hers, he'd give her $50. The lawyer figured the blonde was so dumb, he could not lose, and the blonde thought for a few minutes and reluctantly accepted to play the game.
The lawyer fires his first question "What is the distance between the Earth and the nearest star?"
Without saying a word the blonde handed him $5. The blonde then asked the lawyer "What goes up a hill with 3 legs and comes back down the hill with 4 legs?"
The lawyer's face looked extremely puzzled. He spent several minutes looking up everything he could on his laptop and then even placed numerous air-to-ground phone calls trying to figure out the answer. Finally, the angry and frustrated lawyer handed the blonde $50.00.
The blonde put the $50 into her purse quickly without saying a word. The lawyer was outraged at this point and asked, "Well, what is answer?"
The blonde glanced at him with a smile on her face and handed him a $5 bill.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Cowboy is captured
A cowboy is captured by a group of Indians after a gunfight. Because he fought so valiantly, they decide to kill him in three days, and to give him one wish each day before he dies. On the first day, he wishes to speak to his horse. The Indians bring his horse to him, and he whispers in its ear. The horse rides off and returns hours later with a buxom n**... blonde on its back. The cowboy takes her into his tent for a couple hours, then she leaves. The Indians are mildly puzzled, but shrug it off. The next day, the same process occurs. The man whispers in his horse's ear, and the horse rides off. Hours later, the horse returns with a n**... redhead, who spends a couple hours in the cowboy's tent. The Indians agree that this is not a terrible way to spend your last days. On the morning of his last day, the cowboy asks to see his horse one last time. He walks up to his horse, grabs him by both ears, and stares him in the face.
"Listen to me Buster. I - SAID - POSSE!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Blonde + Computer = ?
A man was in his front yard mowing grass when his attractive blonde female neighbor came out of the house and went straight to the mailbox.
She opened it then slammed it shut and stormed back in the house.
A little later she came out of her house again went to the mail box and again, opened it, slammed it shut again.. Angrily, back into the house she went.
As the man was getting ready to edge the lawn, here she came out again, marched to the mail box, opened it and then slammed it closed harder than ever.
Puzzled by her actions the man asked her, "Is something wrong?"
To which she replied,"There certainly is!"
"My s**... computer keeps saying, **'YOU'VE GOT MAIL!'**"
The Lone Ranger
Once, in the Wild, Wild West, the lone ranger was captured by an Indian tribe. The Chief of the tribe says, "I have heard of you, Lone Ranger. If you can impress me enough within three days, I will let you go free."
So, the Lone Ranger thinks hard for a few minutes and says, "May I have a minute alone with my horse?"
The Chief obliges him, and not 30 seconds later, the horse gallops out of the tent and runs away. The Chief is puzzled, but the Lone Ranger seems satisfied nonetheless. A few hours pass, but then the Lone Ranger's horse returns with an absolutely beautiful blonde girl, with whom the Lone Ranger spends the night.
The Chief is absolutely amazed, but not enough so to let the Lone Ranger go. So, the Lone Ranger asks to, again, hold council with his horse. And again, the horse gallops away, returning later with a redhead even more beautiful than the previous lady.
The next day, the Chief tells the Lone Ranger, although he is impressed, he is not going to let him go. So, the Lone Ranger asks to be left alone with his horse. After the tribe vacated the room, he whispers into the horse's ear very succinctly,
"Bring. Posse."
smart blonde joke
A blonde walks into a bank in New York City and asks for the Loan officer. She says she's going to Europe on business for two weeks and Needs to borrow $5,000.
The bank officer says the bank will need some kind of security for the loan, so the blonde hands over the keys to a new Mercedes Benz SL 500.
The car is parked on the street in front of the bank, she has the title and everything checks out. The bank agrees to accept the car collateral for the loan.
The bank's president and its officers all enjoy a good laugh at the blond for using a $110,000 Benz as collateral against a $5,000 loan.
An employee of the bank then proceeds to drive the Benz into the bank's underground garage and parks it there. Two weeks later, the blonde returns, repays the $5,000 and the interest, which comes to $15.41.
The loan officer says, "Miss, we are very happy to have had your business, and this transaction has worked out very nicely, but we are a little puzzled. While you were away, we checked you out and found that you are a multimillionaire.
What puzzles us is, why would you bother to borrow $5,000?"
The blonde replies, "Where else in New York City can I park my Car for two weeks for only $15.41 and expect it to be there when I return?"
10 Blondes and a Puzzle Box
One blonde walked into a tavern one day and asked for a table that will sit 10 and a for a pint. She received her beer and a table that would sit 10. Later 2 more blondes walked in and ask for a pint a piece and sat by the blonde from before. More and more blondes came in until 9 sat at the table. The 10th one walked in with child's puzzle box with a huge grin. She asked for a pint, walked to the table and slammed the box into the center of the table. All 10 blondes began to drink hard and chant "51 days!!" The other customers became mad and asked the barkeep to stop their chanting. The barkeep walked up to the blonde that brought the puzzle box and asked, "Before I kick you out, tell me one thing, why are you chanting?" The blonde grinned and said, "Well us blondes have be racially descriminated for so long that my friends and I decided to prove everyone wrong. This puzzle box says 2-4 years and we solved it in 51 days!!"
Did you hear about the blonde that...
Couldn't learn to water ski because she couldn't find a lake with a slope.
Got excited because she finished a jigsaw puzzle in 6 months and the box said "2 to 4 years"
Couldn't call 911 because there was no 11 on any phone button.
When asked what the capital of California was; answered "C".
Baked a turkey for 3 days because the instructions said 1 hour per pound and she weighed 125.
After losing in a breaststroke swimming competition, complained that the other swimmers were using their arms.
A blonde and a lawyer are sitting next to each other on a train.
The lawyer, assuming he could make some easy money, wanted to play a game with the blonde; he would ask her a question, and if she could not answer, she would pay him $5. Then she would ask him a question, and if he could not answer, he would pay her $5.
The blonde had no interest in playing with the the lawyer, so he offered her 10 to 1 odds, and said every time the blonde could not answer one of his questions, she owed him $5. But every time he could not answer hers, he'd give her $50.00. The lawyer figured he could not lose, and the blonde reluctantly accepted.
The lawyer first asked, "What is the distance between the Earth and the nearest star?"
The blonde thought about it for about a minute, and decided she did not know the answer. So she gave him his $5.
She then asked, "What goes up a hill with 3 legs and comes back down the hill with 4 legs?"
Well, the lawyer looked puzzled. He took several hours, looking up everything he could on his laptop and even placing numerous phone calls, trying to find the answer. Finally, angry and frustrated, he gave up and paid the blonde $50.00
The blonde put the $50 into her purse without comment, but the lawyer insisted, "What is the answer to your question?"
Without saying a word, the blonde handed him $5.
A group of blondes are chanting "31 days" in a bar...
so after awhile the bartender gets curious and asks one of the blondes "why are you ladies chanting 31 days?". The group parts and the blonde responds "you see this puzzle here?? we finished it in 31 days! and the box says 2-4 years"
Finally, a smart blonde joke.
A blonde walks into a bank in New York City and asks for the loan officer.
She says she's going to Europe on business for two weeks and needs to
borrow $5,000.
The bank officer says the bank will need some kind of security for the
loan, so the blonde hands over the keys to a new Rolls Royce.
The car is parked on the street in front of the bank,
she has the title and everything checks out.
The bank agrees to accept the car as collateral for the loan.
The bank's president and its officers all enjoy a good laugh at the
blonde for using a $250,000 Rolls as collateral against a $5,000 loan.
An employee of the bank then drives the Rolls into the bank's underground
garage and parks it there.
Two weeks later, the blonde returns, repays the $5,000 and the
interest, which comes to $15.41. The loan officer says, "Miss, we are very
happy to have had your business, and this transaction has worked out very
nicely, but we are a little puzzled.
We checked you out and found that you are a multimillionaire.
What puzzles us is, why would you bother to borrow $5,000?"
The blonde replies..... "Where else in New York City can I park my car for two
weeks for only $15.41 and expect it to be there when I return?"
A husband comes home to find his beautiful blonde wife sitting at the kitchen table in tears.
"What's wrong, dear?" He asks
Through her tears she says, "well, I've been trying to put this puzzle together all day and I just can't seem to figure it out! It's supposed to be a tiger."
He looks at her and in his most sympathetic voice says, "sweetheart, put the frosted flakes back in the box."
Ba dum-tiss
A blonde went to work...
Her boss found her crying in her office and went to see what's wrong. She told him that her mom had just died. He told her to go home and take the week off. She then said that that wasn't the problem. Puzzled, he asked what the problem was. "My sister called me, her mom died too!"
Guy walks into a bar.
Guy walks into a bar.
The bar is empty except for a group of blonde women in the far corner chanting. "23 weeks, 23 weeks, 23 weeks"
The guy asks the barman for a beer and also asks what's all that about in the corner.
Barman says "I have no idea. They've been meeting here every afternoon for the past 23 weeks. They sit silently leaning over the table and never say a word until today."
Intrigued, the man wanders over to the group of woman. They are now hugging each other and shaking each others hands and patting each other on the back. Still chanting "23 weeks, 23 weeks, 23 weeks."
The asks them "what's all the celebrating about?"
One of the woman looks at him and says very proudly "everyone is always saying how blondes are so dumb. Well today we have just proven how intelligent we are."
The man says "well tell me, what have you done to prove blondes are intelligent?"
The woman says "well on the box of this jigsaw puzzle it says 3 years or up, and we just finished the whole puzzle in 23 weeks"
The blond with the ten kids
A blond runs into an old friend from high school, and they start catching up since they have not seen each other for many years. Eventually, the blond tells her friend about her ten, all-male children. She proudly says: "I called every one of them 'John' ". Her friend is puzzled, and asks: "Isn't that a bit confusing, all of them having the same name?" "Oh not at all" the blond answers, "It is very convenient. If I want the dishes done, I just call out 'JOHN!' and then at least three or four show up." "But what about when you need one specific child?" her friend persists. The blonde: "Then I just use his last name!"
Who doesn't enjoy a blonde joke
A blonde walks into a bank in New York City and asks for the loan officer. She says she's going to Europe on business for two weeks and needs to borrow $5,000. The bank officer says the bank will need some kind of security for the loan, so the blonde hands over the keys to a new Rolls Royce. The car is parked on the street in front of the bank; she has the title, and everything checks out. The bank agrees to accept the car as collateral for the loan. The bank's president and its officers all enjoy a good laugh at the blonde for using a $250,000 Rolls as collateral against a $5,000 loan. An employee of the bank then drives the Rolls into the bank's underground garage and parks it there. Two weeks later, the blonde returns and repays the $5,000 and the interest, which comes to $15.41. The loan officer says, Miss, we are very happy to have had your business, and this transaction has worked out very nicely; but we are a little puzzled. We checked you out and found that you are a multimillionaire. What puzzles us is - why would you bother to borrow $5,000? The blond replies….. Where else in New York City can I park my car for two weeks for only $15.41 and expect it to be there when I return?
A blonde goes to get her haircut.
When she sits down onto the chair, the hairdresser notices that she's wearing headphones. The hairdresser asks her to take them off, but she refused. She said, "If I take these off I'll die." The hairdresser was puzzled, but she cuts her hair anyways. While she's getting her haircut, the blonde falls asleep. The hairdresser takes off her headphones, but a few minutes later, the blonde collapses to the floor and dies. The hairdresser was shocked, but also curious as to why those headphones were so important. She puts them on, and she hears a voices saying,"Breathe in, breathe out. Breathe in, breathe out."
A bunch of blondes are celebrating in a bar
Everytime the bartender brings a round they all get up cheering;
10 DAYS---10 DAYS
After the third round the bartender inquires as to what the celebration is all about,
So, one of the blonde says, "We made a puzzle in 10 days"
"10 days? That's not really something to celebrate about",
OH YEAH, well it did say 2 to 4 years on the box!!!
"I'm blond, I'm beautiful, and I'm going to New York."
During boarding, a first class passenger finds a blond sitting in his seat. After trying to explain she's in the wrong seat the blond just replies, "I'm blond, I'm beautiful, and I'm going to New York."
A flight attendant is called over and asks to see the blondes ticket. "Mam I'm sorry but your seat is in coach. You'll have to move."
The blond folds her arms and responds the same. "I'm blond, I'm beautiful, and I'm going to New York."
After the head flight attendant gets the same result they decide to call the caption. He explains that her seat is in coach and she must move. She replies the same. "I'm blond, I'm beautiful, and I'm going to New York."
The caption then whispers something in her ear. She looks puzzled and gets up and moves to coach.
"What did you say to her?!"
"We'll my wife is blond and I know how to deal with them. I told her first class isn't going to New York."
Blonde Jokes
What do you do if a blonde throws a grenade at you? You pull the pin and throw it back!
How do you make a blonde laugh on Saturday? Tell her a joke on Tuesday.
Why can't a blonde dial 911? Because they can't find the 11.
A blonde asked someone what time it was, and they told her it was 4:45. The blonde, with a puzzled look on her face replied,
"You know, it's the weirdest thing, I have been asking that question all day, and each time I get a different answer."
Now your turn!
A Blonde is in a Bar...
...and she's wearing a set of headphones. The bartender walks up to her and says, "Sorry, but we don't allow headphones in this bar." The blonde looks up and tells him, "You don't understand. I really, really need these headphones. The bartender once again tells her, "No, you really need to take them off." The blonde sighs and removes the headphones. Several minutes later the bartender returns only to find the blonde dead. Puzzled by the blonde's death, he puts on the headphones and hears "Breathe in, breathe out. Breathe in, breathe out.
A blonde calls her boyfriend...
One day a man gets a call from his blond girlfriend.
"Hey Babe!"
"Listen, I need you to come over right now! I'm doing a puzzle and I think it's supposed to be a tiger but I just can't figure it out, I've been doing it for hours..."
The boyfriend was a little confused, as she didn't seem the type to buy a puzzle... But it was clear she was upset, so he made the trip over. He walked in to her apartment and saw her sitting on the floor, a blue box overturned and all the pieces arranged in random circles on the floor.
He looked at her for a while without saying anything, then just sighed and said, "Sweetie, lets get all these frosted flakes back in the box..."
Blonde flying to Houston, TX
A blonde hops on a flight to Houston, TX. She sees first class sits down and thinks, "I'm blonde, I'm beautiful and I'm staying right where I am." So the flight is about to take off and the flight attendant comes by and asks for the ladies ticket. "Mam, your ticket is for coach. You need to go back to your seat because this is first class seating." The blonde replies. "I'm blonde, I'm beautiful and I'm staying right where I am." Puzzled the flight attendant goes to the pilot and says "We have a problem, this blonde lady in first class wont go back to coach where her ticket is." The pilot then says, "My wife is blonde, let me take care of this." Pilot walks up to the blonde and says "Mam, May I see your ticket?" Blonde hands him the ticket.
Quickly the pilot says to the blonde, "You might want to go back to coach, first class isn't flying to Houston." She quickly gets up and goes to coach.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A group of blondes walk into a bar
They immediately start to set up what looks like a big celebration; they order numerous pitchers of beer, then push tables together, one of them even hangs a big banner over it. As they're celebrating, the bartender notices that the banner says **"51 DAYS!"**
Curious, he walks over to the celebrating group, and notices something even odder; a children's jigsaw puzzle with about 20 pieces at most, completed and sitting in a beautiful frame. He taps one of the blondes on the shoulder.
"Excuse me," he says, "But what is the big celebration for?"
With a big grin on her face, she points down at the puzzle.
"We're celebrating our success! See that puzzle? It said "2-4 Years" on the box, but we did it way quicker than that, only 51 days!"
Blonde woman calls her boyfriend....
"Sweetie, I'm doing this jigsaw puzzle and can't figure it out, would you come and help me?" she says.
Boyfriend comes over, and asks "What is the puzzle of?"
"A rooster", she replies miserably, gesturing towards the table, "But I can't even figure out where to start."
Boyfriend looks at the table, takes his girlfriend by the hand and says "OK, let's sit down and have a cup of tea, and then we can start putting the cornflakes back in the box."
My blonde friend called me the other day...
Hey, can you come over real quick? I have a puzzle and I can't figure out how to put it together. I have all the pieces spread out on the table and I don't know where to start. All the pieces look the same to me!
What's the picture on the box? I asked
It's a tiger, I think.
So I went to her place, and she opens the door, tears in her eyes, and a look of frustration on her face.
I walk to her kitchen, look at the table, turn around and tell her: Hey, why don't we have some tea? Then I'll help you clean up the corn flakes.
10 blondes walk into a bar...
they say to the bartender, "We'll have the most expensive bottle of champagne you have! We're celebrating."
They sit down and crack open the bottle and raise their glasses and they all say "23" and drink.
The bartender is curious and goes to their table and asks, "What are you celebrating?"
They point to a framed puzzle and say, "We'll we were sick of all the negative stereotypes of blondes, so we decided to do this puzzle, it took us only 23 days, but on the box it says 2-3 years!"
A Golden Oldie Blonde joke...
A blonde called her boyfriend and said, Please come over here and help me… I have a killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can't figure out how to get it started.
Her boyfriend asked, What is it supposed to be when it's finished?
The blonde said, According to the picture on the box, it's a tiger.
Her boyfriend decided to go over and help with the puzzle. She let him in and showed him where she had the puzzle spread all over the table. He studied the pieces for a moment, then looked at the box, then turned to her and said, First of all, no matter what we do, we're not going to be able to assemble these pieces into anything resembling a tiger.
He took her hand and said, Second, I'd want you to relax… Let's have a nice cup of hot chocolate, and then…
He sighed, let's put all these Frosted Flakes back in the box.
A group of blondes walk into a bar...
A group of blondes walk into a bar and order a round of beers. They laugh and congratulate one another and finish their drinks. One blonde says to the bar tender "Another round, on me!" The bartender gets them another round of drinks and they continue to be lively and cheery and before long, finish their drinks. Another blonde says "Bartender, another round please!". The bartender walks over and says "I'll get you another round of drinks, but you have to tell me what you're celebrating." The blonde says "Well, we just finished competing a puzzle." "A puzzle?" Says the bartender, "How long did it take you?" The blonde replies "Six months". "Six months!" Exclaimes the bartender, "That's a long time for one puzzle." The blonde says. "That's not long at all, on the box it says three to four years!"
A blonde tells her friend
"I completed a jigsaw puzzle in record time!"
"No way! How long did it take you?" Replied her friend
"6 months"
"That cannot be a record time!'
" Well the box said from 1 to 3 years"
Sorry for bad English, original was in Spanish
A blonde joke (that i didn't make nor take credit for)
A blonde wakes up one morning and decides she wants to do a puzzle. So she reaches into the cabinet and grabs a box. After 4 hours of trying to match the pieces together she finally breaks down and calls her boyfriend for help.
Blonde: "I've been trying to get this puzzle together for over four hours and I can't even find one piece."
Boyfriend: "What's the picture on the box?"
Blonde: "A tiger with a bowl of cereal on a blue background."
Boyfriend: "Honey... Put the Frosted Flakes back in the box."
Four blonds walk into a bar...
...cheering "85 Days! 85 Days!"
A gentleman inquires "Excuse me, but what's '85 days?'"
The blonds reply "We completed a puzzle in 85 days and the box says 2-4 years!"
A group of blondes walk into a bar
A group of blondes walk into a bar celebrating and chanting "28 days, 28 days, it only took us 28 days!!"
Everyone was wondering what took them 28 days and why they were celebrating. Finally, when the blondes were about to leave, a bartender goes up and asks "What took you 28 days, why are you celebrating??"
All the blondes say "We just finished a puzzle in 28 days and on the box it said 3-6 years!!!"
A Blonde Joke
Tired of constant blonde jokes, a blonde dyes her hair brown. She then goes for a drive in the country and sees a shepherd herding his sheep across the road.
"Hey, shepherd, if I guess how many sheep are here, can I keep one?"
The shepherd is puzzled but agrees. She blurts out "352!"
He is stunned but keeps his word and allows her to pick a sheep.
"I'll take this one," she says proudly. "It's the cutest!"
"Hey lady," says the shepherd, "If I guess your real hair color, can I have my dog back?"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Two blondes are at a bar celebrating
as soon as the drinks arrive, they give a quick toast, exclaiming **21** then turn up their glasses. The bartender thought this was odd, considering they both looked to be close to 30. Time passes, another round ordered, and other celebratory cheers stating **21**. The bartender again ignored them and moved on. On the third occasion with the same celebration, the bartender decided to ask what the big occasion was. Was it 21 years as friends? 21 some sort of big number for work? 21 months married? What. One blonde was all too happy to explain that it was none of those. She went on to say "we just finished one of those puzzles that said 7-10 years and it only took us 21 days."
A blonde walked into a hairdresser with headphones on...
...And says to the hairdresser, "Do anything with my hair, but don't take the earphones off".
So the hairdresser started to cut but was finding it pretty difficult, so he thinks "What could happen if I took the headphones off?", and he took them off. The blonde dropped dead straight away.
"Oh My gosh" said the hairdresser, puzzled. "What is so special about these headphones?" and he put them on.
Out of the headphones she heard: "Breathe in, breathe out, breathe in, breathe out..."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A blonde went to the doctor for birth control...
The doctor asked the customary question, "Are you s**... active?" The blonde responded, "Nope." So the doctor asked, "Well, what do you need birth control for? Heavy period?" The blonde responded, "No, I don't want to get pregnant!"
Puzzled, the doctor clarified, "I thought you said you weren't s**... active?" The blonde responded, "I'm not. I just lie there."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A blonde got a mail.
A man was in his front yard mowing grass when his attractive
blonde neighbor came out of the house and went straight to the
mailbox. She opened it then slammed it shut and stormed back
into the house. A little later she came out of her house again,
went to the mailbox and again opened it, and slammed it shut
again. Angrily, back into the house she went. As the man was
getting ready to edge the lawn, she came out again, marched
to the mailbox, opened it and then slammed it closed harder
than ever. Puzzled by her actions the man asked her, Is something wrong? To which she replied, There certainly is! My s**... computer keeps saying, You've got mail!
A blonde girl decides to do a puzzle.....
...so she grabs the puzzle and pours out all the pieces and tries to put it together. After a while she gets frustrated and calls her boyfriend. He asks her what is wrong and she tells him about the trouble she is having with the puzzle. He tells her to look at the picture on the front and tell him what it looks like. The blonde says, Okay, well, the background is blue and there is a tiger on it.
After a long pause her boyfriend sighs and says, Honey, put the cornflakes back in the box.
A confused blonde asks her boyfriend to help her assemble a puzzle she bought in the supermarket.
She tells her boyfriend that the puzzle formed a chicken, since a picture of a chicken was on the box.
Eager to help, her boyfriend asked her to bring him the puzzle as soon as possible.
The blonde brings the puzzle to her boyfriend's house. When she sees her boyfriend, she shows him the box, and pours out the pieces in front of him.
When the blonde's boyfriend sees this, he looks at her and starts laughing. Once he calms down, he tells the blonde:
"Put the cornflakes back in the box, babe."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A man was in his front yard mowing grass, when his attractive blonde female neighbor, Judy, came out of her house and went straight to the mailbox. She opened it, then slammed it shut and stormed back into the house.
A little later she came out of her house again, went to the mail box, and again opened it and slammed it shut again. Angrily, back into the house she went.
As the man was getting ready to edge the lawn, she came out again, marched to the mail box, opened it and then slammed it closed harder than ever.
Puzzled by her actions the man asked her, "Is something wrong?"
To which she replied, "There certainly is! My s**... computer keeps saying, YOU'VE GOT MAIL."
Three Blondes Walk into a Bar...
They get a table and order a round of drinks. When the server brings the drinks over, the blondes clink the glasses together and say, "A toast to 36 hours!"
The blondes order several more rounds, and each time they make the same toast to 36 hours. After the fourth round, the server gives in to curiosity and asks, "Why are you toasting to 36 hours?"
One of the blondes replies, "Oh well, we just finished this really hard jigsaw puzzle, and on the side of the box it said 2 to 4 years!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Blonde walks into an elevator
She sees her co worker Steve & says "TGIF". Steve has a puzzled look on his face and replies "NSIT". Ever more puzzled the blonde replies "TGIF, thank God it's Friday". Steve then says "NSIT, no s**... it's Thursday"
Tired of constant blonde jokes, a blonde dyes her hair brown. She then goes for a drive in the country and sees a shepherd herding his sheep across the road.
"Hey, shepherd, if I guess how many sheep are here, can I keep one?"
The shepherd is puzzled but agrees. She blurts out "352!"
He is stunned but keeps his word and allows her to pick a sheep.
"I'll take this one," she says proudly. "It's the cutest!"
"Hey lady," says the shepherd, "If I guess your real hair color, can I have my dog back?"
A blonde woman called her brunette friend. "I'm doing a jigsaw puzzle at my apartment, but it's way too hard for me!"
"What's the jigsaw supposed to be?" asks the brunette.
"According to the box," says the blonde, "it's supposed to be a rooster."
When the brunette arrives at the blonde's apartment, she looks at the puzzle pieces. Then she look at the box. Then she says to the blonde, "I'm afraid you will not be able to make anything even remotely resembling a rooster."
This makes the blonde furious. "Calm down," says the brunette. "Once you are relaxed, we can start putting the corn flakes back into the box."
9th August 2021: a blond American woman is at the Canadian immigration counter......
The immigration officer is puzzled for a minute and then the light comes on.
"Thank you ma'am for that view but it is vaxxed not waxed'
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A man walked into a bar.
A man walked into a bar with both of his front pockets full of golf b**... & sat down next to a beautiful blonde. The puzzled blonde kept looking at him & his bulging pockets.
Finally, after many such glances from her, he said, "Its golf b**...".
Nevertheless, the blonde continued to look at him a very long time, thinking deeply about what he had said.
After several minutes, not being able to contain her curiosity any longer, she asked, "Does it hurt as much as tennis elbow?"
43 days!
A group of blondes walks into a bar with a picture of Elmo. They set the picture on a table and order several bottles of champagne. As the waiter returns with their champagne, the blondes are chanting, " " Intrigued, the waiter asks them what is going on. One of the blondes explains, "The box said 3 to 5 years, but we put together this Elmo puzzle in just 43 days,."
The guessing game
Tired of constant blonde jokes, a blonde dyes her hair brown.
She then goes for a drive in the country and sees a shepherd herding his sheep across the road.
\- "Hey, shepherd, if I guess how many sheep are here, can I keep one?"
The shepherd is puzzled but agrees. She blurts out "352!"
He is stunned but keeps his word and allows her to pick a sheep.
\- "I'll take this one," she says proudly. "It's the cutest!"
\- "Hey lady," says the shepherd, "if I guess your real hair color, can I have my dog back?"
Blonde goes up to a Soda Machine
A Blonde walks up to a Soda
Machine, puts in a quarter and as the drink falls out she laughs.
Again, she puts in a quarter and as the soda falls out she laughes
She does this again and again, laughing hysterically every time. Eventually, catching the attention of a group of strangers near by.
One of the strangers walks over and ask with a puzzling look on his face
" ma'am, what on Earth are you doing? "
The blonde turns around, rolls her eyes, laughs and says " winning! Duh! "
