The Best 41 Puttin Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Puttin jokes. There are some puttin ridin jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these puttin rushin puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Puttin Jokes and Puns

If you are Russian on your way to the bathroom and Russian when you get out, what are you in the bathroom?


Two Irish men renovating a house

Paddy is pulling up the floorboards and placing the nails into two piles.
Mick says "Paddy, why are ye puttin the nails in two piles?"
To which Paddy replies, "these ones I'm goin tae use again but those other ones are upside down"
Mick then says, "Paddy you eedjit, ye can use them for the ceiling!"

Putting Your exam results on the window of your car

So you can park in disabled spots.

Puttin joke, Putting Your exam results on the window of your car

Why does putting a stone in a mans shoe make the best contraception.

It will make him limp

So, putting a "caution wet floor" sign down before delivering my best pick up line is frowned upon....

Putting a selfie on the top of your Christmas tree...

...because you're such a f**king star!

Putting candles on a cake

Is wishful thinking

Puttin joke, Putting candles on a cake

Putting juice in the fridge is fine

but put it in the oven and you're literally Hitler

Why do we keep putting criminals behind bars?

putting criminals behind bars seems like a bad idea once you consider all the alcohol they're now next to

I tried putting my cat on a diet once, but she's still fat...

I guess it just didn't work out

I'm putting together an acting troupe of dogs.

It's called..........................................................................*Dramatic Paws*.

You can explore puttin draggin reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean puttin havin dad jokes. There are also puttin puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.

I'm putting my standards up for adoption

Because I can't raise them anymore

Putting captions in the wrong place

You know what I hate the most...?

Putting a ring on a woman's finger...

is like pulling the ripcord on an inflatable raft.

I'm not sure if putting Christmas lights up would offend my Jewish neighbours.

So just to be sure, i'll hang a massive swastika in my window too.

Some say putting helium in animals is wrong.

I say whatever floats your goat.

Putting all this paper on the gifts I bought everyone this Christmas season made me realize something..

I'm almost a worse wrapper than Lil Wayne

Putting dogs on product packaging increases sales by up to 25%.

Unless you are trying to sell tires or sex toys.

Putting your finger on someone's lips and saying "Shhhh... Not another word." is super-romantic.

But the cop didn't think so.

Putting down your book...

... is the original pause button.

Putting things in the bin may be 'lit'

But dropping them on the floor is litter

Putting on contacts without a mirror is hard

You just gotta eyeball it

Two men in the woods come across some bear tracks...

The first man takes off his boots and starts puttin on runnin sneakers.

The second man asks "do you really think you gonna outrun a bear?"

First man replies "I just gotta outrun you"

My gf keeps putting her tampons in the garbage...

Talk about putting all your eggs in one basket.

After putting up with Asian driving, it got me thinking...

Pearl Harbour was probably an accident.

I was putting on a Warriors jersey...

But my friend said "that's a choking hazard."

Donald Trump, Enrique Peña Nieto and Vladimir puttin are travelling in a helicopter for a top secret meeting when

Suddenly Vladimir Putin throws his beautiful secretary out of the helicopter.

Others:- Why did you do that?

Vladimir Putin :- too many beautiful women in our country

Then,Enrique Peña Nieto throws his tequila out

Others :- Why?

Enrique Peña Nieto :- Too much tequila in our country.

Donald Trump being anxious, throws Enrique Peña Nieto and exclaims"Too many Mexicans!"

I've been putting margarine on my cut for a week now but there's been no improvement at all.

I Can't Believe It's Not Better

Putting quotation marks around random words in sentences

So I got up today after a "long" nights sleep, got dressed, and "woke up my kid".

I'm putting sesame street characters in brine jars

Pickle me elmo

After putting it in my mouth, moving it all over it and tasting it I just spitted it out violently, I never liked to swallow it.

Man, this toothpaste is so refreshing.

Putting 'not' to the end of your usual joke makes your wife smile again


Putting air in your tires used to be free now its costs a dollar...

Its called inflation.

I am putting my grades up for adoption.

I can't raise them by myself.

Putting the new dry cleaner shop next to the Planned Parenthood was probably a bad idea.

All those discarded wire hangers in the dumpster aren't helping the cause.

They're putting a speed limit to sex..

Once you get to 68 you have to turn around

I used to think that putting ketchup on my glasses was a great way to clean them.

But in Heinz sight, I don't think that was such a good idea.

I just can't ever see myself putting anything up my own butt

So I got a mirror.

I was putting atoms together for chemistry. Until I put magnesium and oxygen together.


Did you know that putting ketchup on your glasses makes you see better

It's because Heinz-sight is 20 20

I'm not putting any Halloween or Christmas stuff in my yard this year.

I'm just going to stand on my back porch reciting the Gettysburg address. That will be my deck oration.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the puttin putter jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working puttin uns piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes