Puttin Jokes
41 puttin jokes and hilarious puttin puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about puttin that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Puttin Short Jokes
Short puttin jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The puttin humour may include short horns jokes also.
- If you are Russian on your way to the bathroom and Russian when you get out, what are you in the bathroom? Puttin.
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Puttin One Liners
Which puttin one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with puttin? I can suggest the ones about canyon and tee.
- What do you call a Russian on a golf course? Vladimir Puttin'
Puttin Jokes to Giggle and Enjoy A Night of Unforgettable Laughter
What funny jokes about puttin you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean motor jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make puttin pranks.
Two Irish men renovating a house
p**... is pulling up the floorboards and placing the nails into two piles.
m**... says "p**..., why are ye puttin the nails in two piles?"
To which p**... replies, "these ones I'm goin tae use again but those other ones are upside down"
m**... then says, "p**... you eedjit, ye can use them for the ceiling!"
Putting Your exam results on the window of your car
So you can park in disabled spots.
Why does putting a stone in a mans shoe make the best contraception.
It will make him limp
So, putting a "caution wet floor" sign down before delivering my best pick up line is frowned upon....
Putting a selfie on the top of your Christmas tree...
...because you're such a f**king star!
Putting candles on a cake
Is wishful thinking
Putting juice in the fridge is fine
but put it in the oven and you're literally h**...
Why do we keep putting criminals behind bars?
putting criminals behind bars seems like a bad idea once you consider all the alcohol they're now next to
I tried putting my cat on a diet once, but she's still fat...
I guess it just didn't work out
I'm putting together an acting troupe of dogs.
It's called..........................................................................*Dramatic Paws*.
I'm putting my standards up for adoption
Because I can't raise them anymore
Putting captions in the wrong place
You know what I hate the most...?
Putting a ring on a woman's finger...
is like pulling the ripcord on an inflatable raft.
I'm not sure if putting Christmas lights up would offend my Jewish neighbours.
So just to be sure, i'll hang a massive s**... in my window too.
Some say putting helium in animals is wrong.
I say whatever floats your goat.
Putting all this paper on the gifts I bought everyone this Christmas season made me realize something..
I'm almost a worse wrapper than Lil Wayne
Putting dogs on product packaging increases sales by up to 25%.
Unless you are trying to sell tires or s**... toys.
Putting your finger on someone's lips and saying "Shhhh... Not another word." is super-romantic.
But the cop didn't think so.
Putting down your book...
... is the original pause button.
Putting things in the bin may be 'lit'
But dropping them on the floor is litter
Putting on contacts without a mirror is hard
You just gotta eyeball it
Two men in the woods come across some bear tracks...
The first man takes off his boots and starts puttin on runnin sneakers.
The second man asks "do you really think you gonna outrun a bear?"
First man replies "I just gotta outrun you"
My gf keeps putting her tampons in the garbage...
Talk about putting all your eggs in one basket.
After putting up with Asian driving, it got me thinking...
Pearl Harbour was probably an accident.
I was putting on a Warriors jersey...
But my friend said "that's a choking hazard."
Donald Trump, Enrique Peña Nieto and Vladimir puttin are travelling in a helicopter for a top secret meeting when
Suddenly Vladimir Putin throws his beautiful secretary out of the helicopter.
Others:- Why did you do that?
Vladimir Putin :- too many beautiful women in our country
Then,Enrique Peña Nieto throws his tequila out
Others :- Why?
Enrique Peña Nieto :- Too much tequila in our country.
Donald Trump being anxious, throws Enrique Peña Nieto and exclaims"Too many Mexicans!"
I've been putting margarine on my cut for a week now but there's been no improvement at all.
I Can't Believe It's Not Better
I'm putting sesame street characters in brine jars
Pickle me elmo
Putting 'not' to the end of your usual joke makes your wife smile again
not
Putting air in your tires used to be free now its costs a dollar...
Its called inflation.
I am putting my grades up for adoption.
I can't raise them by myself.
Putting the new dry cleaner shop next to the Planned Parenthood was probably a bad idea.
All those discarded wire hangers in the dumpster aren't helping the cause.
They're putting a speed limit to s**.....
Once you get to 68 you have to turn around
I used to think that putting ketchup on my glasses was a great way to clean them.
But in Heinz sight, I don't think that was such a good idea.
I just can't ever see myself putting anything up my own b**...
So I got a mirror.
I was putting atoms together for chemistry. Until I put magnesium and oxygen together.
o**...
Did you know that putting ketchup on your glasses makes you see better
It's because Heinz-sight is 20 20
I'm not putting any Halloween or Christmas stuff in my yard this year.
I'm just going to stand on my back porch reciting the Gettysburg address. That will be my deck oration.
Some would say that putting decorative soaps that look like food in their bathrooms is cute.
But it leaves a bad taste in my mouth.