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Putt Jokes

61 putt jokes and hilarious putt puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about putt that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Are you looking for a few good laughs? This article features an extensive list of putt jokes, from lighthearted mini putt puns to witty 3 putt and pitch and putt jokes. From the greenkeeper to the clubhouse to the 4 putt at the golf putt, these jokes will have you rolling!

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Popular Putt Short Jokes

Short putt jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The putt humour may include short puts jokes also.

  1. A golfer misses a putt... He read the break as left-to-right, but it hit the edge of the cup and went the other way.
    It was a bad lip reading.
  2. Drill Instructor: Now ev'rybody dig your helmets in! Did I say something about puttting them off?
  3. What did the Policeman say to the Tiger? If you don't drive the Fair Way I'll Putt you in Jail
  4. Why did the midget get kicked out of the putt putt course? because he wanted to play minijerkoff.

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Putt One Liners

Which putt one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with putt? I can suggest the ones about shot put and pong.

  1. What did the honest golfer say? I like big putts and I can not lie!
  2. I just saw Phil Mickleson putt a ball that was still moving He gave me 2 strokes.
  3. What do you call a pizzeria on a golf range? Pizza Putt.
  4. What Star Wars character is surprisingly good at golf? Jabba the Putt
  5. Who was the the most successful black golfer before Tiger Woods? two-putt Shakur

Putt joke, Who was the the most successful black golfer before Tiger Woods?

Make fun with this list of one liners, jokes and riddles. Each joke is crafted with thought and creativity, delivering punchlines that are unexpected and witty. The humor about putt can easily lighten the mood and bring smiles to people's faces. This compilation of putt puns is not just entertaining but also a testament to the art of joke-telling. The jokes in this list are designed to display different humor styles, ensuring that every reader at any age finds something entertaining. Constantly updated, they offer a source of fun that ensures one is always smiling !

Silly Putt Jokes for a Good Time with Friends

What funny jokes about putt you can tell and make people laugh? One example I can give are clean pass jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help make putt prank.

Out on the golf course, a beautiful woman asks three men for some help with her putt.

"Whichever of you can help me sink this putt, I will give that guy a night he will never forget."
The teenager walks over, eyes up the putt for a couple of minutes, and finally says, "Lady, aim that putt six inches to the right of the hole. The ball will break left 12 inches from the hole and go in the cup."
The middle-aged man walks up and says, "Don't listen to the youngster! Aim 12 inches to the right, and the ball will break left two feet from the hole and fall into the cup."
The elderly man looks at the other two men in disgust, picks up the ball, drops it into the cup, takes her by the arm and says, "That's a Gimme."

On the green of the 18th hole after a horrible day of golf...

The golfer says to his caddy: "I swear, if I don't make this putt I'm going to drown myself in the water hazard". To which his caddy replied: "You think you can keep your head down that long?"

A joke about golfers.

Two men were playing golf one afternoon when just as they are about to play an important putt on the final hole for the match a large f**... procession passes by on the road at the side of the golf course. One of the men stops in mid putt, removes his cap, bows his head in prayer. The second man retorts "Woah man, that was really respectful". "Well, we had been married for over 25 years" said the other man.

Putting Your exam results on the window of your car

So you can park in disabled spots.

Thanks for putting out

Mom! ~ everyone. Happy Mother's Day!

He Takes His Golf Seriously.

An elderly golfer is about to putt when a f**... procession drives by.
He removes his hat, and waits for the cars to pass by.
His golfing buddy turns to him and says, "That was very thoughtful of you to do that."
He responds, "Well, it seemed appropriate. I was married to the woman for 55 years."

Why does putting a stone in a mans shoe make the best contraception.

It will make him limp

So, putting a "caution wet floor" sign down before delivering my best pick up line is frowned upon....

Putting a selfie on the top of your Christmas tree...

...because you're such a f**king star!

I'm only putting a picture of me in my locket.

This proves I'm independent.

Putting candles on a cake

Is wishful thinking

Putting juice in the fridge is fine

but put it in the oven and you're literally h**...

Why do we keep putting criminals behind bars?

putting criminals behind bars seems like a bad idea once you consider all the alcohol they're now next to

I tried putting my cat on a diet once, but she's still fat...

I guess it just didn't work out

I'm putting together an acting troupe of dogs.

It's called..........................................................................*Dramatic Paws*.

I'm putting my standards up for adoption

Because I can't raise them anymore

Putting captions in the wrong place

You know what I hate the most...?

Putting a ring on a woman's finger...

is like pulling the ripcord on an inflatable raft.

I'm not sure if putting Christmas lights up would offend my Jewish neighbours.

So just to be sure, i'll hang a massive s**... in my window too.

Two men are golfing at a local golf course

The first man is about to putt when he sees a long f**... procession right near the course. He stops mid-putt, takes off his golf cap, closes his eyes, and bows his head in prayer.
The second man is in awe. "Wow, that is the most touching thing I have ever seen. You truly are a kind man."
The man replies, "Yeah, well, we were married for 35 years."

Some say putting helium in animals is wrong.

I say whatever floats your goat.

Putting all this paper on the gifts I bought everyone this Christmas season made me realize something..

I'm almost a worse wrapper than Lil Wayne

Putting dogs on product packaging increases sales by up to 25%.

Unless you are trying to sell tires or s**... toys.

Putting your finger on someone's lips and saying "Shhhh... Not another word." is super-romantic.

But the cop didn't think so.

Putting down your book...

... is the original pause button.

Putting things in the bin may be 'lit'

But dropping them on the floor is litter

Putting on contacts without a mirror is hard

You just gotta eyeball it

So I tried putting Nutella on my salmon last night.

I ended up with salmonella

My gf keeps putting her tampons in the garbage...

Talk about putting all your eggs in one basket.

After putting up with Asian driving, it got me thinking...

Pearl Harbour was probably an accident.

I was putting on a Warriors jersey...

But my friend said "that's a choking hazard."

I've been putting margarine on my cut for a week now but there's been no improvement at all.

I Can't Believe It's Not Better

A young guy gets paired with an elderly man for a round of golf.

The old man lines up to putt on the fourth green, when they notice a f**... procession passing by the course.
The old man backs away from the putt, removes his cap, bows his head for a quick prayer, crosses himself, and returns to the putt.
After the hole, the young guy says, I'm impressed with your show of respect for the deceased .
Old guy says, Well, we were married 42 years... least I could do.

Putting quotation marks around random words in sentences

So I got up today after a "long" nights sleep, got dressed, and "woke up my kid".

I'm putting sesame street characters in brine jars

Pickle me elmo

After putting it in my mouth, moving it all over it and tasting it I just spitted it out violently, I never liked to s**... it.

Man, this toothpaste is so refreshing.

Did you know that they are putting barcodes on condoms now?

what??? don't you roll it back that far?

I'm not sure whether putting up Christmas lights would offend my Hindu neighbors.

So to make sure, I hung a giant banner saying YOU WORSHIP FALSE GODS! on my window.

Try putting a leaf blower against your ear. It will blow your mind.

Putting 'not' to the end of your usual joke makes your wife smile again

not

Putting air in your tires used to be free now its costs a dollar...

Its called inflation.

I am putting my grades up for adoption.

I can't raise them by myself.

Putting the new dry cleaner shop next to the Planned Parenthood was probably a bad idea.

All those discarded wire hangers in the dumpster aren't helping the cause.

They're putting a speed limit to s**.....

Once you get to 68 you have to turn around

I used to think that putting ketchup on my glasses was a great way to clean them.

But in Heinz sight, I don't think that was such a good idea.

I just can't ever see myself putting anything up my own b**...

So I got a mirror.

I was putting atoms together for chemistry. Until I put magnesium and oxygen together.

o**...

Did you know that putting ketchup on your glasses makes you see better

It's because Heinz-sight is 20 20

John is playing golf with the vicar

He misses a three foot putt, and says "d**..., missed the buggar."
The vicar warns him "keep talking like that and God will open up the heavens and strike you dead with lightning."
John then misses a two foot putt, and repeats "d**..., missed the buggar."
Sure enough, God opens the heavens and sends down a lightning bolt, but it strikes the vicar and he falls over dead.
"d**..., missed the buggar." God says.

I'm not putting any Halloween or Christmas stuff in my yard this year.

I'm just going to stand on my back porch reciting the Gettysburg address. That will be my deck oration.

Some would say that putting decorative soaps that look like food in their bathrooms is cute.

But it leaves a bad taste in my mouth.

I have a joke about commitment

Steve was deeply committed to playing golf. Ever day, seven days a week, fifty two weeks a year. After several years went by, Steve was still playing golf. As he was about to putt the ball in the hole. He notice a f**... procession going by. He then took off his hat and gave a moment of silence for the procession.
His friend that he was golfing with was amazed at him and said, "Wow that was really respectful"
"Well I should be respectful", Steve replied. "I was married to her for over thirty years."

Golfing

Al and Bob were on the 9th green getting ready to putt just as a f**... is passing by. Al takes off his hat, holds it to his chest and bows his head in a moment of silence.
After joining him an emotional Bob says "What a nice gesture Al, showing respect like that"
Al grabs his putter out of his bag and says " it's the least I could do, she was my wife for 43 years"

jokes about putt

Jokes are a form of humor that often involves clever wordplay, puns or unexpected twists in a story. These are usually short narratives or anecdotes crafted with the intent of amusing its audience by ending in an unexpected or humorous punchline. Jokes are a universal form of entertainment that people of all ages like adults, teens, kids and toddlers can enjoy. JokoJokes' FAQ section has answers to questions you may have!

The impact of these putt jokes can be both social and psychological. They can help to ease tensions, create bonds between people, and even improve overall mental health. The success of a joke often relies on the delivery, timing, and audience. Jokes can be used in various settings, from social gatherings to professional presentations, and are often employed to lighten the mood or enhance a story.